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WWE returned to the Target Center on Sunday, Sept. 9, 2007, for a “Smackdown & ECW” TV taping. Crowd is perhaps 6,000 – the lower deck was fairly full, but no one was in the upper deck. The show got underway at 7:30 sharp. Give WWE credit for routinely starting on time. The “Wrestlemania XXIII” video clip aired, with the Saliva “Ladies & Gentleman” song playing in the background. Good clips.

(1) Jesse & Festus defeat Matt Longtime & Chad Harrison at 5:48. Chad Harrison wrestles locally as “Black Stallion.” I’ve seen Longtime before; he usually wrestles in the Chicago area. Neither man is under WWE contract. The crowd didn’t know whether to cheer or boo Jesse & Festus. Jesse got on the mic and talked about how Festus is a fierce competitor. The bell rang, and Festus’ face lit up and he went nuts for a few seconds (kind of like Delirious). Festus hit a shoulder tackle and a buttbump on Longtime.

Festus hit another buttbump on Harrison. The local guys began to work over Jesse. Jesse did some comedy spots that frustrated Harrison & Longtime. Longtime hit a nice butterfly suplex, and the crowd chanted, “We want Festus!” Festus finally made the hot tag to a nice pop, and he hit some clotheslines. Festus launched Jesse onto Longtime to score the pin. The crowd clapped along to the twangy music as the newcomers celebrated their win.

(2) Jimmy Wang Yang defeats KC James at 5:23. James wore a Flair-like robe, and he’s really looking a lot like Curt Hennig these days. James is solid, but he’s just missing an intangible to be on the TV roster. KC hit a shoulder tackle, and he did a Flair strut, and the crowd booed him. Yang hit a headscissors takedown. KC hit a cheapshot punch, and the crowd booed him. KC James hit a Divorce Court armbreaker for a nearfall, then a backbreaker over his knee for a nearfall at 3:00.

Yang hit a loud chop. KC worked the left arm. Yang hit a chinbreaker, a Legsweep, a clothesline and a backbody drop, then a spin heel kick in the corner. Yang hit a top-rope crossbody block, but James rolled through the move and got a nearfall. Yang hit a moonsault press for the pin. Solid action.

TV taping:

* Our announcers, Taz & Joey Styles, took their seats, and the TV taping was under way! Armando Estrada came out to a chorus of boos. He introduced the new ECW champion, CM Punk. He congratulated Punk. Punk presented Estrada with a new Punk T-shirt, and he autographed it. Punk then INSISTED Estrada try it on. Elijah Burke came out, and he said he was looking forward to facing Punk this Sunday at “Unforgiven.” The annoying crowd chanted “What?!” after everything Burke said, but luckily, that died down quickly. Burke said that he “recruited and scouted” Punk when Punk first arrived. They began to argue. Punk nailed an enziguri, and Burke bailed.

(3) The Miz (w/the girls) defeats Tommy Dreamer at 3:33. Basic. Dreamer hit a clothesline that sent Miz to the floor. Miz snapped Dreamer’s neck over the top rope. Dreamer hit a second-rope superplex. They traded punches, and Dreamer hit a bulldog. Dreamer tied Miz in the Tree of Woe, and he hit a Hesitation basement dropkick to the face!

Dreamer hit an inverted DDT for a nearfall. Miz got a schoolboy rollup, and grabbed the ropes for leverage. Dreamer charged toward the corner, but Miz moved, and Dreamer rammed his shoulder into the corner. Miz immediately hit a standing neckbreaker for the pin.

* Backstage, Balls Mahoney gave Kelly Kelly a stuffed animal as a present.

(4) Matt Striker (w/Big Daddy V) defeats Nunzio at 0:24. Nunzio hit a dropkick, but he missed a Stinger Splash in the corner. Striker immediately got a schoolboy rollup for the pin. Ugh. Big Daddy V beat up Nunzio, hitting some chops, a uranage, and an elbow drop. Boogieman appeared on the screen, and he essentially read the “humpty dumpty” poem to Big Daddy V.

(5) Mike Knox defeats Balls Mahoney at 2:07. Why is Knox back? (It only makes sense if the Kelly Kelly-Balls storyline is advanced, and it wasn’t here.) Balls hit some punches. Knox hit a clothesline, a guillotine legdrop, and he applied a Camel Clutch. Balls hit a backbody drop, and more punches as the crowd chanted “balls!” Miz appeared at the entrance, and that distracted Balls. Knox nailed a Bicycle Kick for the pin. Eh.

* The video aired for the Iraq trip last winter, set to the Goo Goo Dolls song, “Better Days.” One of the few times lately I’m proud to be a wrestling fan! The footage of John Cena got a mixed reaction from the crowd.

* An “Unforgiven” PPV ad aired, including the announcement that Triple H would face Carlito. A highlight package of Punk’s title victory over John Morrison aired.

(6) CM Punk & Stevie Richards defeats Elijah Burke & Kevin Thorn at 7:09. Solid match. The crowd popped huge for Punk. Punk and Burke started with an intense lockup, and they traded stiff forearms. Thorn tagged in and faced Richards. Thorn hit a shoulder tackle. Richards unloaded some quick, sharp kicks. The faces hit a front & back kick on Thorn. Richards nailed a Flatliner on Thorn. Thorn came back with a clothesline on Richards, then a gutbuster over his shoulder on Richards for a nearfall at 3:00.

Thorn put Richards in the Torture Rack, and he turned it into a Shock Treatment. The heels beat up Richard. Burke tied him in a pretzel on the mat. Punk finally made the hot tag at 6:00, and he hit an enziguri on Thorn for a nearfall, a running kneestrike to the face in the corner, and a bulldog, then a top-rope elbow on Thorn. Punk nailed the Go To Sleep/Fireman Carry kneestrike to the face, for the pin on Thorn. The faces celebrated in the ring.

* We had a set change, as the referees quickly even changed the ropes. A new video titled “WWE Pop Culture” aired, showing WWE wrestlers appearing on media outlets. Unfortunately, this “pop culture” segment showed a LOT of Rock, Rob Van Dam, Big Show, Trish Stratus and Stacy Keibler – not exactly the current roster! The “Pop Culture” video also showed some of the big crossover celebrity moments, from Mike Tyson to Kevin Federline to Arnold Schwarzenagger to Kid Rock to Donald Trump.

* JBL and Michael Cole came out, and we had our first fireworks of the night, and that got a big pop.

(7) Michelle McKool (w/Chuck Palumbo) vs. Victoria (w/Kenny Dykstra) went to a double DQ at 5:14. McKool came out with Chuck Palumbo on his motorcycle. Victoria hit a cheap shot punch. They did some good mat wrestling, and McKool had a nice spot where she bridged up out of a pinning position. Victoria tied up McKool and cranked on her head. Michelle nailed a slap to the face! Victoria rubbed Michelle’s face in the mat. The crowd was really quiet.

Victoria tied her in a Japanese Stranglehold, and the crowd rallied for McKool. Victoria hit a clothesline for a nearfall at 3:30. They traded chops, and Michelle hit some clotheslines and dropkicks, then a belly-to-belly suplex for a nearfall. Dykstra spit water into Michelle’s eyes. The men got in the ring and brawled. The referee called for the bell and ordered this be re-started as a mixed tag match!

(8) Michelle McKool & Chuck Palumbo defeat Kenny Dykstra & Victoria at 4:26. The men started, and Palumbo hit a back suplex, some punches, and a clothesline, then a delayed vertical suplex for a nearfall, and he slammed Dykstra into the corner. Dykstra hit a kick to the face, and he clipped Palumbo’s leg from behind. Dykstra began to stomp on the leg and work it over. Palumbo hit some back elbows and a belly-to-belly overhead suplex. Victoria tagged in at 3:30. Michelle hit a clothesline on Victoria and a belly-to-belly suplex for a nearfall. The men fought to the floor and brawled at ringside. Meanwhile, Michelle nailed a spin heel kick for the pin.

* Backstage, Teddy Long was having a bachelor’s party. Festus & Jesse were in the background. Several attractive ladies danced on screen. The Major Brothers stopped by, and so did Sgt. Slaughter. Dumb antics. The big wedding is next week!

* To the ring! A druid was standing in the ring, but it took off the cloak, to reveal it was actually Mark Henry. Henry talked about how the Undertaker has “power,” but no one has more power than Henry does. An Undertaker video played on the screen; nothing new there. The Undertaker’s symbol, above the entrance, suddenly burst into flame. Cool visual, and the crowd went nuts for this stuff.

* A pre-packaged “diva search” segment aired. About the only positive thing I can say here is these women look more athletic. It appears that WWE has done a better job of explaining to these women that they will be getting in the ring and expect to take bumps.

* Backstage, Matt Hardy and MVP played chess. Hardy put MVP in check. MVP sneezed, and he “accidentally” knocked all the chess pieces off the board. Predictable-but-funny. Matt Hardy told MVP that he did him a “favor” and got him a match, tonight! Hardy, in tongue-in-cheek fashion, called MVP the “captain” of the team.

(9) Shannon Moore defeats Jamie Noble at 6:03. Solid match. Noble checked under the ring for Hornswoggle. They traded punches and chops. Moore hit a leg lariat for a nearfall. Noble hit an Electric Chair slam and a bodyslam, then he applied a double-underhook armlock, and the crowd rallied for Moore. Shannon hit a basement dropkick to the face at 3:30, and they were both down. Shannon hit a clothesline, then a headscissors takedown that sent Noble to the floor!

Shannon climbed to the top rope and hit a flip dive to the floor onto Noble, and that spot got a nice pop. In the ring, Noble hit a backbreaker over his knee for a nearfall. Moore looked through the ropes to the floor (as if he was looking for Hornswaggle.) So, Noble also looked through the ropes! Moore quickly got a schoolboy rollup for the pin. Fun finish.

* Kristal and Vickie Guerrero talked wedding stuff, and Vickie dragged Kristal into a surprise divas party.

* MVP ran to the referee, saying he can’t wrestle yet, because he’s still in his suit. The referee told him his match was up NOW.

(10) Domino (w/Deuce & Cherry) defeats MVP (w/Matt Hardy) at 6:26. Wow, this was UGLY action. MVP took off his suit coat and tie as he walked to the ring, and he wrestled in his slacks and white T-shirt. (But a kid near me still chanted “Power Ranger” at MVP anyway!) Hardy got a huge pop; it’s hard to believe WWE let him go once. MVP hit a chinbreaker over his knee for a nearfall. Deuce tripped MVP. Domino hit a guillotine legdrop for a nearfall, and he ripped off MVP’s shirt. NOW, this match is heel vs. heel, and the crowd was, as expected, really, really quiet, and not cheering for anyone.

Matt Hardy grabbed the mic and he chanted, “MVP!,” but the crowd finished the chant by replying, “Sucks!” Hardy enjoyed this, leading the fans on an “MVP Sucks!” chant. Domino applied a DULL chinlock, then he hit a running kneestrike. Domino hit some punches, and he was in charge, and he hit a butterfly suplex at 5:00, then he went back to the BORING chinlock. Deuce hopped on the ring apron; Matt jumped on the apron and hit Deuce. MVP turned around and yelled at Matt to get off the apron. Domino got a quick rollup on MVP for the surprise victory. Wow, we’ve seen this same cheap finish several times here. Poor booking.

* Back to the divas party. Krystal modeled some new lingerie. She walked up to a UPS man (indy wrestler Eric Priest, another Chicago guy, who likely traveled with Matt Longtime.) Anyhow, Priest had a huge wrapped box for her, which turned out to be “fat oily guy” inside. Ugh.

* An AWESOME commercial for WWE 24/7 aired. With all the great memorable clips shown in this video, this commercial legit got one of the biggest pops of the night.

* Great Khali & his manager cut a backstage promo. Absolutely nothing of value was added here.

(11) Fit Finlay defeats Kane at 15:06 in a “Belfast Brawl.” So, apparently that means this is no-DQ. Finlay attacked Kane at the entrance, and they fought on the floor. Kane whipped Finlay into the ring steps. In the ring, Finlay hit his Earthquake-style sitdown splash. Kane hit a bodyslam, and Finlay begged off. Kane hit a clothesline that sent Finlay to the floor at 3:00. Kane slammed Finlay’s back into the guardrail. Finlay hit a baseball slide dropkick to the floor, and he hit some blows to the back. They fought for an extended period on the floor. Kane slammed Finlay’s back into the ring post, but Kane accidentally hit a shoulder tackle against the ring post at 6:00.

In the ring, Finlay went to work on the injured shoulder, and he tied up the left arm. Finlay hit some chair shots to the arm. Finlay removed a turnbuckle pad. Kane accidentally charged shoulder-first into the exposed turnbuckle, further injuring himself, and Finlay got a nearfall at 9:30. Kane hit a Mafia Kick that sent Finlay back to the floor. Kane dropped Finlay head-first on the guardrail. Kane went for a chokeslam, but he couldn’t hit it, because of his injured shoulder.

In the ring, Kane hit a side suplex, then a top-rope flying clothesline, and the crowd was fired up. Kane got Finlay’s weapon (I don’t know how to spell a ‘she-lay-lee’), so Finlay bailed. Kane got the ringsteps and brought them into the ring. However, Kane jabbed Kane in the ribs with a steel chair. Finlay then hit the Celtic Cross/Air Raid Crash for the pin. Surprising winner, solid match.

* Backstage, Teddy Long got locked out of his bachelor’s party. Krystal walked up. They briefly argued, as Krystal saw all the female dancers, while Teddy saw naked-oily-guy. Ron Simmons walked up and delivered his line, getting a nice pop.

(12) Batista defeats Great Khali (w/manager) via DQ at 4:04. YEP, the main event was a mere FOUR MINUTES. Ugh. Throughout this show, they advertised this as the “first time on network television.” Hopefully, this is the last time, too! Batista hit some punches immediately, but Khali swatted him away, and Batista fell to the mat. Khali hit a clothesline and some back-elbows in the corner, then he celebrated, and the crowd booed him. Khali tried to apply the Claw, but Batista fought it off.

Khali hit a Mafia Kick that sent Batista to the floor. Batista hit a spear on Khali into the ring post on the floor. In the ring, Batista hit a Spinebuster for a huge pop at 3:00. However, Batista couldn’t get Khali up for the Batista bomb. Khali applied the Claw, and Batista reached the ropes. However, Khali wouldn’t let go of the hold, and the referee eventually disqualified Khali! The crowd BOOED this sad, pathetic, cheap finish.

The show ended at 10:50, so more than three hours in length.

Final thoughts:

I did not see a single match I would consider to be “above average.” I see lots of cheap finishes on rollups, and a lot of slow, lethargic action. The Shannon Moore top-rope flip dive was the most athletic move of the night, and it really wasn’t that “special” of a move, either.

I guess Kane-Finlay gets best match, as the final three minutes were pretty good. CM Punk looked good, and the women’s match was surprisingly decent. But this show came up short many, many times. The decision to book heel-heel with Finlay-Domino was just a disaster. Then, Domino applied a long chinlock, which seemed almost designed to draw boos and the “MVP sucks!” chant it got.

Overall, the fans around me seemed to enjoy this show more than I did, but I don’t think this will come off well on TV.

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