DEJ Experience District DEJ BLOG: PeckingOrderMania - Predicted order of matches at WM24 and what it says about each wrestler's standing Mar 21, 2008 - 6:04:22 PM

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By Eric Nelson, DEJ Experience Member

Wow, I'm really borrowing greedily from Jim Ross's blog, huh? This past week he speculated on the order of matches at WrestleMania 24, assuming the Triple Threat match for the WWE Title will go last. But in an interview with the Daytona Beach News-Journal (look somewhere else for the link, ya lazy jerks), Ross suggested the Ric Flair vs. Shawn Michaels match go last due to its historic nature and high level of emotion. That's not going to happen, and I personally don't want to see WrestleMania go off the air on that note, whatever the note may be -- Ric Flair winning is too unbelievable of a note to end a show that big on, and it's up to Flair to prove me wrong, but Michaels retiring a legend isn't the "sigh of relief" I want while I walk down many, many flights of stairs, either.

For the most part, I liked what WWE did with the lineup for WrestleMania 23. It started off hot (with the Money in the Bank match), it cooled down very, very quickly (Kane vs. Great Khali, for those who don't remember or who have bleached their brains since last year), and basically had a main event in the middle of the card (Undertaker vs. Batista) as well as at the end (Michaels vs. John Cena), with the other marquee match (Bobby Lashley vs. Umaga) in the second half. I can jump on board with that idea. So with that said, let's see if we can capture (what I thought was) lightning in a bottle one more time.

(How many things can I put in parentheses? Yeesh.)

(1) 24-Man Battle Royal. In the famous words of Bob Eucker at WrestleMania IV, "How can you start anything off better than, battle royal?" Yeah, he skipped a couple of words in there, but dammit, he should still have been inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame this year, 20 years after his famous "Could you get your foot off my shoulder?" line. Anyway, people seem to like battle royals for no explainable reason; it certainly can't be all of the scientific punching and kicking or the lack of bump-taking or move... um, -doing. But let's kill two birds with one stone by putting the exciting, frantic, frenetic, action-packed battle royal first, and do the obvious thing by having Kane win.

(2) Kane vs. Chavo Guerrero. Talk about bringing it down. This could be Kane's last big win en route to a likely retirement; I would never wish upon anyone that their ability to make a living be taken away from him, but I'm pretty ready for Kane to hang up the big red boots. Wait, he wears black boots, doesn't he? I guess that makes sense, since he spent his childhood years dancing in his parents' ashes. Anyway, Chavo Guerrero isn't exactly lighting the world on fire (see what I did there?) as ECW Champion, so unless the next babyface WWE has in mind to carry the ECW crown is Colin Delaney, then I'm OK with Chavo losing and Kane winning at WrestleMania.

(3) Money in the Bank Ladder Match. This will be a nice relief after the previous two stinkfests (no, Tool fans, not "Stinkfist") and will provide the action to get the crowd buzzing again. Because of the star power involved in the match last year, I questioned its placement as the first match on the show, until I realized it was the only real opportunity to start the undercard off with a bang. Now, with quite limited star power in this year's MITB match, I'm OK with it being third out of 11 matches/segments on the show. Media gadfly Chris Jericho and six midcarders do not a huge event make, but don't mistake that statement for me poo-pooing on the competitors; this will be a really good match, but it's pretty much custom-booked for the third spot on this card.

(4) WWE Hall of Fame Class of 2008 Introductions. I consider this to be a substantial enough segment to give it its own slot on the show, and since it tends to be early most years, I'll offer it as a breather for directly after the ladder match, plus it allows ample time between introductions of Ric Flair. I mean, you can't really do back-to-back pops for the guy, or anyone for that matter, and again, for many this is a good time to grab a hot dog or 10 after a solid Money in the Bank match.

(5) Batista vs. Umaga. This match should make us long for the old-timers (insert smiley-face emoticon here). Some have speculated this could be a show-stealer. Batista has had great matches against Undertaker, good matches against MVP, and even some serviceable matches against Elijah Burke this past year, and Umaga is a proven commodity in my opinion (vs. John Cena and Jeff Hardy, if you insist on examples). I don't know that this will be the match everyone buzzes about hours after the show has aired, but given the current pecking order on both Raw and Smackdown, given the weak backstory here, and given both men's limited-but-quite-capable skills, I think this is a fine place for the battle for brand supremacy. (Somewhere, ECW weeps.)

(6) Undertaker vs. Edge. This is the match I had in mind when I mentioned having a main event in the middle of the card. See also: Ultimate Warrior vs. Randy Savage, WM VII; Ric Flair vs. Randy Savage, WM VIII; Mega Maniacs vs. Money Inc, WM IX; Lex Luger vs. Yokozuna, WM X. If Edge wins, the crowd won't "go home upset," and if Undertaker wins, at least the "more of the same" whiners won't be able to say it was the last match on the card. It's too bad this card placement speaks to Edge's perceived spot on the overall roster, even compared to a professional boxer, but you really can't have a world title match on earlier than this, and you can't put the two big title matches too close together, so this is my answer to those problems.

(7) Finlay vs. JBL. Putting this after a world title match might raise an eyebrow, but hey, see my explanation above. I think a little no-disqualification brawl would go nicely between a title match and a potential retirement. I also cannot reason putting this match on after any of the remaining matches. It's obvious Vince McMahon has befriended both of these wrestlers, and I expect them to work damn hard to give us an entertaining brawl (don't forget about Finlay vs. Steven Regal on an early 1996 Monday Nitro, or all of Bradshaw's clubberfests circa 1997-1998) to earn this silver-platter spot on the biggest show of the year. Plus, the closer Vinnie gets to showing his face during the main event, the more his proud chest will puff out.

(8) Ric Flair vs. Shawn Michaels. Sorry, J.R., this cannot be the main event of WrestleMania XXIV, not with Triple H and John Cena yet to wrestle and with $400 million tied up in Floyd Mayweather's appearance. But there is no shame in this spot whatsoever. This is most likely where the balance of respect/reverence for Flair and his real drawing power lies. Anything higher would be a little farcical, and anything lower would be a slap in the face to both competitors.

(9) Big Show vs. Floyd Mayweather. Hey, if everyone already paid for it, might as well make them wait for it! No, really, this is the promotional main event for this show, so it absolutely has to be treated as such, albeit within the context of a pro wrestling show. While it could also have been a "special attraction" main event or something else to explain it being placed last on the card, the WWE Title match simply must be held at the end of WrestleMania. I'm sure looking back at Lawrence Taylor vs. Bam Bam Bigelow, WWE sees it the same way I do. But there is no lack of importance in spot 9 out of 11 at this particular year's WrestleMania.

(10) Bunnymania! Between Snoop D-O-double-Geezy doing his thing and Santino Marella's likely involvement, the annual women's match has become a lot less of a bathroom-break option. In fact, this is must-see stuff right here. But lazy, patterned booking dictates that the diva contest act as a buffer between "main events," so here it sits. Seriously, though, pick a different match for your beer run, or run damn quick, because given the ancillary players, this could be interesting.

(11) Randy Orton vs. John Cena vs. Triple H. No way does Randy Orton win this match. If John Cena wins, no way do they not end the show with their No. 1 babyface with his hands raised in victory. If Triple H wins, no way do they not end the show with him making his Constipated Cross motion with his arms, belt secure in his white-knuckled fist. This is a gimme, and if they put the Mayweather-Show in this spot instead, color me baffled (no, Color Me Badd fans, not "Color Me Badd").

Eric Nelson is the "E" in the DEJ Experience. This column was a softball in a barrage of fast pitches, but hey, who doesn't like to do a little fantasy booking on the side? Speaking of which, nice match, Kirk Angel. Look for blogs by Dusty on Friday, Kevin on Saturday and Jeremy on Sunday. Also, submit questions for the weekly Ask The Experience column either on the PWTorch.com VIP Forum or via e-mail at theaudioexperience@gmail.com.

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