DEJ Experience District ASK THE EXPERIENCE: Baseball, wrestling, and sausages Mar 26, 2008 - 9:27:37 PM

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BigRoundWizard asks: I am fairly new to the board (not to the Torch) and I have been listening to you guys a long time. So I suppose I have to ask something good and mark-ish (Editor's note: You mean, like, Markish Alexander Bagwell?)....What is your favorite non-WrestleMania PPV?

Eric responds: (Eric's note: Jeremy lost my original answer to this question where I explained how Art Donovan's color commentary made King of the Ring 1994 my favorite PPV of all time, so I guess I'll have to re-answer with a real response.) (Jeremy’s note: Tough s**t!) I really had to whittle this down, rationalize certain things and make excuses for other things, and I came to the conclusion that Summerslam 1991 is my favorite non-WrestleMania PPV of all time. From the six-man tag team opener (a recipe for success, in my house of humbly), to the fantastic Bret Hart vs. Mr. Perfect match, to the fact that almost every match ended with a babyface victory; from Virgil winning the Million Dollar Belt and all the shenanigans surrounding that match, to the skits showing the Mountie being booked and thrown in jail ("Don't you just love the way leather feels against your body?"), to Bobby Heenan "confronting Hulk Hogan" ("Turn that camera off, turn that damn thing off") and the hilarious commentary overall; how could you go wrong? And to end the Coliseum Video with Elizabeth nearly being bitten by a cobra that was possibly real? Brilliant.

Dusty responds: My favorite non-Wrestling Mania PPV is a tie between Halloween Havoc 1993, Battle Bowl 1993 and Starrcade 1993. And the reason these three shows hold such high esteem in my house of humble is because they all feature Missy Hyatt, in full on hot skank mode, managing the Nasty Boys. Screw Savage and Elizabeth, that’s the real match made in heaven! But if I had to answer this question in a serious tone, which I don’t, I would say that the 1992 Royal Rumble is the first thing that comes to mind. Granted, the first four matches on that card are nothing to write home about (and in some arena somewhere, that Beverly Brothers vs. Bushwhackers match is probably still going on), but when you combine some of Bobby Heenan’s best commentary work ever and the best Rumble match ever, you get a recipe for success. That Rumble is a perfectly booked masterpiece with a satisfying ending. There’s not a better hour of wrestling action anywhere, for my money. And for what little it is worth, 1992 is probably my favorite year ever for wrestling. Just in general.

(Editor's note: Eric and Dusty pretty much think exactly alike, hence them using the same tired cliches.)

Kevin responds: Easily the 1999 No Mercy, which some friends, Jeremy and I attended in Cleveland. The night got off to a roaring start when our Forty something year old friend decided that it was a good idea to berate an eight year old boy. Later in the evening, the Terri Invitational Tournament was in it's final round to win $100,000 and the services of Terri Runnels. The match was Edge and Christian against the Hardy Boyz. It was the best I had seen at that point in my life and was astounded by the non-reaction of the fans around us when they were executing high spots so it was my turn to not only berate the eight year old but also the entire crowd surrounding us. If you look real close on the video, you can see our friends, Jeremy and I jumping up and down like a bunch of idiots. I have no idea what else happened on the card but it was yet another adventure in the live showing setting.

Jeremy responds: Wow what a tough question actually. I have always leaned towards The Royal Rumble just for the match itself. It usually provides a good hour of action and comedy even if it is a tad corny in spots as well as illogical. The Survivor Series is the other but I liked it much better in the traditional format. It stood out and you used to have some incredible visuals with all of those teams together on one side of the ring and the other. Since you are pressing me for an answer and I have WrestleMania on the mind I will go with Survivor Series based off the pleasant memories. The first few were in Richfield, Ohio about 30 minutes away from Stow, Ohio, where I lived for a while. It killed me that the first two years my mother decided to have Thanksgiving at our townhouse essentially killing any hopes I had of going to see the event live.

Instead my mom ordered the PPV and we all sat as a family (McMahon must love these stories) and watched it all together. Of course my Uncle Stan took this as a wonderful time to drink a bunch of wine and started imitating the Big Bossman, something he did for a long time. Then my grandfather would smart off to him about being serious while watching Akeem and Bossman handcuff Randy Savage to the ropes. Damn this all sound so silly now but it was a lot of fun. Yeah I went a little PPV generic and not specific but oh well.

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MattheWWFanatic asks: How will each of your respective baseball teams do in the upcoming season :Brewers (Dusty), Pirates (Kevin), Tigers (Jeremy)and Black Sox (Eric)? Also, which Klements sausage will win the most races at Miller Park this year: Brett Wurst (brat), Stosh (polish sausage), Guido (Italian sausage), Frankie Furter (hot dog) or Cinco (chorizo)?

Eric responds: I believe Mordecai "Three Finger" Brown is going to carry my Brooklyn Tip-Tops all the way this season, especially if he follows my advice; I'll signal for him to bunt by touching my belt buckle not once, not twice, but thrice. And honestly, how can you pick against a chorizo? I know every time I have one, I win the race to the toilet.

Dusty responds: I have the Brewers winning between 85 and 90 games this year and winning the NL Central. Winning the NL Central is nowhere near the accomplishment winning the AL Central would be, so if the Brewers can manage to hover just above .500 for most of the year, and avoid serious slumps (and if Ben Sheets can manage to start and finish a year without getting hurt in between for once in his injury prone stupid life), then the Brewers will always be a contender. The Cardinals and Astros are falling down, and I don’t trust the Cubs. The Reds just hired Dusty Baker, so they are not to be taken seriously in the least. The Pirates are the Pirates. This could be a good year for the Brewers and their young roster. And, I always root for the hot dog. You can’t go wrong with a good, solid hot dog. I will have one right now in honor of this question. Thank you.

Kevin responds: If everyone one of these things happen, the Pirates will avoid locking up the ;east coveted title of tying the Philadelphia Phillies for most consecutive losing seasons for a franchise at 16. #1 - Jason Bay remembers that he's a great player and hits near the .300/35/120. #2 - Adam LaRoche remembers how to hit before the first two months of the season are gone. #3 - Xavier Nady goes more than 30 games without pulling a hamstring. This one may not be entirely important since Steve Pearce is chomping at the bit in the minors to get on the big league roster. On an upside, at least I can see him play in town against the Columbus Clippers until the inevitable hamstring/call up combination. #4 - Freddy Sanchez continues hitting over .300 and doesn't lose any time to his recovering shoulder problems. #5 - The starting CF, whether it's Nate McLouth or Nyjer Morgan, does a good job of setting the table as the lead off hitter. #6 - Ian Snell and Tom Gorzelanny continue to pitch like All Stars. #7 - Paul Maholm pitches well in the first half of the season. He's been great post All Star break the last two years. #8 - Zach Duke regains his near Rookie of the Year form. #9 - Matt Capps maintains his excellent form from his first year of closing last year. #10 - John Van Benschoten makes the roster. We don't want the greatest power hitter in Kent State history to not start the season on the Pirates pitching staff.

Unfortunately, I doubt all of these things will happen. On the upside, I think they finally have some people in the front office that knows how to build a low revenue baseball team by adding more scouts in the US and building a new baseball academy in the Dominican Republic. The Pittsburgh Baseball Club, 15 years of rebuilding and counting.

Rumor going around the Beer Garden is that Guido is his contract year and we all know that people perform above and beyond expectations during that time. Another inside source tells me that Klements has been negotiating a high priced contract for Chang (the Tofu sausage) and Whole Joe (the organic chicken sausage) so there may be some roster moves for the two sausages with the least amount of races won so the whole locker room is nervous.

Jeremy responds: Obviously with that line up big things are expected of my beloved Tigers this year. There are no holes in the lineup at any position other than Jaque Jones and he will be platooning with captain K Marcus Thames so the number 9 spot in the line up can have a lot of pop but a lot of strikeouts as well. The starting pitching is the best in the Central Division and I am thinking if all goes well and everyone stays healthy it is better than Boston’s. the bullpen is going to be the sore spot until Zumaya and Rodney come back. Tim Byrdak has looked very beatable in spring training and it is a concern since he was a solid contributor last year. Jason Grilli needs to start of and maintain his second half performance this year instead of the crap he tossed in the beginning of last season. I can go on and on about pitching but it has all been said before. They should be the clear favorite but “the experts” of course pick Boston so we’ll see how it plays out. This will be the first year I purchase the entire Major League baseball Extra Innings package at the beginning of the year.

It is a huge year and as a fan I have huge expectations. Anything less than the World Series is a disappointment and that is a lofty standard to strive for. If they can do it the have a chance of two or three championships in the next five years. It will be so fun this Spring with the Tigers starting, the Red Wings going for the cup again and the Pistons playing for another Eastern Conference crown. Oh in case I forgot, Detroit is the best sports city in the United States, bar none.

As far as the winner of the most races goes, never bet against Polish Sausage. Use all the dumb jokes you want but I am never, never going to vote against someone who has the same nickname as my Gramps. Believe me if he was still alive I would ask him about this and his answer would be about five pages. He was a proud Polish man and this would be considered an insult even asking. Stosh always comes out on top even if he doesn’t technically cross the finish line first. Watch him run, he is constantly looking for chicks in the crowd. This slows him down but it speeds him up after the race. Yeah you know what I mean. It helps he can use his giant as well. Oh and yeah that was a double entendre or something. It’s a d**k joke people! Merry Christmas!

Eric responds again: How in the hell did I collect so many baseball cards as a kid and know so little about baseball today?

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