PPV Reports
CALDWELL'S NO SURRENDER PPV REPORT 9/9: Ongoing "virtual time" coverage of live PPV
Sep 9, 2007 - 9:54:00 PM |
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By James Caldwell, Torch columnist
TNA NO SURRENDER Review
September 9, 2007
From Universal Studios in Orlando, Florida
By: James Caldwell, Torch columnist
The usually-over-the-top PPV opening package went for a football theme on NFL opening weekend. Ron Killings is apparently the king of endzone celebrations. They finally admitted they don't need or use referees. The voice-over man asked if the fans are ready for T&A, as they showed a slow-motion shot of Christy Hemme walking down the ramp with a low-cut top. The voice-over man made sure we know it was TNA, not T&A Wrestling we spent $29.95 on.
They're opening with the tag title match so Tenay and West open by trying to make TNA seem relevant on NFL opening weekend. Team Pacman came out first, followed by the Dream Team.
1 -- STING & KURT ANGLE vs. TEAM PACMAN (RON KILLINGS & PACMAN JONES) -- TNA Tag Title match
The bell sounded and Pacman stepped into the ring to face Sting, but Pacman slipped back to the apron and Killings started the match. The story of the match was Pacman opting not to tag in at Killings's request. We couldn't even get 12 minutes into the PPV without Karen Angle running to ringside and starting to scream. Sting tried to get her to leave while Killings was working on Angle, but she returned to ringside. Karen randomly slapped Sting, then Sting made an abrupt gesture for Karen to leave and Karen collapsed to the ground as if she were shot in the face. Karen feigned an injury, then Angle tagged out and Karen told Kurt a tall tale. After Pacman finally tagged in, Angle jumped in the ring and gave Sting the Olympic Slam from behind. Pacman then hopped on top of Sting for the pin and the win.
WINNERS: Pacman & Killings in 6:00 to capture the TNA Tag Titles. Since TNA advertised Pacman knowing full well he couldn't wrestle, they went with a title change at the top of the show to make up for it with a "newsworthy" moment on the PPV. (1/2*)
Backstage, Jeremy Borash interviewed Rhino, who thanked James Storm for allowing him to realize who he really is. He named his real name, and said he isn't a machine anymore. His real personality is an alcoholic. His character is different, though, and he's going to give Storm the Gore tonight. Another split-personality to blur the line between fiction and reality.
2 -- RHINO vs. JAMES STORM (w/Ms. Jackie)
They started the fight in the stands just like the other repeat matches. Tenay talked about Jim Cornette giving the referee some leeway to settle the issue. Yes, because the previous matches were clean wrestling matches without every gimmick imaginable that was supposed to settle the issue. Storm knocked Rhino down the bleacher stairs and Rhino fell down to the floor. The fight moved to ringside area and Rhino rolled Storm into the ring to officially start the match.
Rhino set up the Gore 1:00 into the official start of the match, but Jackie Moore grabbed him from behind as a distraction. Storm took advantage with a back cracker. He then settled into a mat-based attack. Rhino reversed a whip to the corner and hit a torpedo dive before measuring Storm for the Gore. He nailed it and covered him for a close nearfall only. And the feud must continue. Rhino then received two chairs from a ringside "fan" and set up the Rhinodriver, but Storm bit his way out of the hold and hit an Ace Crusher on the chairs below for a nearfall. Storm then brought a table into the ring, but Rhino fought him off and set up the table in a corner. Storm went for a superkick, but Rhino ducked and Gored Storm through the table in the corner. He made a cover for the win.
After the match, Rhino pulled out a keg and tried to pour beer down Storm's pants, but Jackie grabbed him by the hair. Rhino then dragged Jackie into the ring and Gored her much to the delight of the fans. And that's your babyface.
WINNER: Rhino in 10:00. Satisfying win for Rhino fans after months of him losing PPV matches. I understand cheering Rhino's Gore on Jackie, especially when they build up a storyline where "she has it coming to her", but violence against women on an uneven level doesn't have a place on wrestling TV - not even when Spike TV doesn't have a say over the product. (*1/2)
Backstage, Kurt Angle tore up his locker room while Karen nursed a fake injury and Kevin Nash looked on. Nash, not telling Kurt what he wanted to hear, said the only thing he saw was Karen slapping Sting. Karen denied the charges and said Sting slapped her. Sting then ran into the locker room and threw Kurt against the wall. He screamed that he never touched Karen. Jim Cornette then interrupted with the random tall guy Matt Morgan. Cornette told Sting to go back to the hotel and take a shower because he has nothing left tonight other than getting in trouble. Cornette tried to silence the screaming Karen, but she straight flipped out when Cornette said Karen also needs to leave or Kurt will be stripped of the other belts.
Robert Roode came to the ring with a very unhappy Ms. Brooks. Kaz then came out to face Roode.
3 -- ROBERT ROODE (w/Ms. Brooks) vs. KAZ
Kaz had a few moments of offense in the early going, which generated a smile from Brooks. Roode then went on the offensive for several minutes while Brooks looked on with concern. Roode cut off Kaz's comeback, then he went into his kneepad and pulled out a gimmick. Kaz kicked the gimmick away, though, and Roode screamed at Brooks to get the gimmick. Brooks retrieved it, but kept her distance from the ring. She then kicked the gimmick under the ring and Roode demanded it, but she didn't have it anymore. Roode and Brooks argued, then Kaz flew over the top rope with a splash dive on Roode. Kaz fired up the crowd, then kissed Brooks on the hand. Back in the ring, Kaz hit a slingshot DDT for a nearfall. He then caught Roode in position for an Alabama Slam, but instead of flipping Roode on his back, he dropped him straight on his neck with a reverse Tombstone. After a nearfall, Kaz took Roode up top and they exchanged chops before Kaz dropped Roode with a faceplant for another nearfall. Kaz went up top for a leg drop, but Roode moved and hit the Payoff fisherman suplex or the win.
WINNER: Roode in 14:00. Nice match that was given plenty of time and featured solid in-ring action. Brooks was much better in this role than yelling and screaming like a child. (**1/2)
Backstage, Crystal tried to interview Jay Lethal about Kurt Angle, but Lethal was experiencing flashbacks to wrestling Steamboat. Kevin Nash then interrupted and we couldn't hear anything he said. Lethal flashed back to Jimmy Snuka coming off the top of the cage, then Nash told him to cut the crap and take a dive for Angle since Angle has bigger fish to fry. The message didn't seem to get through to Lethal, who plugged Slim Jim.
4 -- KURT ANGLE vs. JAY LETHAL -- X Division Title match
Lethal didn't take a dive when the bell sounded, and he had a few seconds of offense early on, but Angle settled into a dominating attack. Angle became frustrated as he couldn't put Lethal away, which give Lethal an opening for a comeback. He scored two close nearfalls, then went up top for an elbow drop, but Angle ran the corner turnbuckle and delivered an overhead suplex for a nearfall. Angle then went for an anklelock, but Lethal escaped and rolled up Angle for a nearfall. Angle followed with three successive German suplexes, then made a cover for another close nearfall. Lethal slipped out of the Olympic Slam and hit the Lethal Combination. Instead of making a cover, he went up top and dropped an elbow for a really close nearfall. The fans chanted, "That was three." Lethal then picked up Angle's lifeless body, but Angle was playing opossum and drilled Lethal in the back of the head. Angle went for a powerbomb, but Lethal slipped around and rolled up Angle for another close nearfall. Angle had enough and dropped the straps. Lethal slowly reached his feet and nearly took the Olympic Slam, but Lethal slipped through. Angle tried to counter with an Ankle lock, but Lethal rolled up Angle for the three count.
Afterward, Lethal was in a state of shock as he was handed the title belt. Angle slapped his hands on the mat in frustration. Petey, Shark Boy, and the Guru Sonjay Dutt then celebrated with Lethal ringside. They stayed with the celebration long enough for the announcers to talk up the title change.
WINNER: Lethal in 13:00 to capture the X Division Title. Sweet goodness, that's a wrestling match. Surprise win for Lethal after a very good title match. Bonus points for TNA having a 50th chance to re-start the X Division with some momentum in the form of Lethal pulling off a win against Angle. (***1/2)
Backstage, Borash found Black Reign Dustin Rhodes holding a rat, Misty. Rhodes petted the rat, then Borash asked Rhodes about facing Chris Harris. Rhodes said he brings a friend with him this time. He made a rhyme about death and said Harris would die. No words can explain how much of a buzzkill this gimmick is.
Chris Harris came to ringside, then Rhodes and Misty came to ringside. Harris wasted no time nailing Rhodes with a cross body splash on the outside.
5 -- CHRIS HARRIS vs. BLACK REIGN DUSTIN RHODES (w/Misty the Rat) -- No DQ match
The fight spilled to the outside and Harris threw Rhodes into the guardrail. Back in the ring, Rhodes went on the offensive with a modified Pedigree and consecutive slaps to the face in the corner. Rhodes then picked up his spike-like device and referee Earl Hebner told him not to use it despite the match being No DQ. Harris took advantage of the distraction and rolled up Rhodes for the win.
Afterward, Rhodes tried to use the object on Hebner, but Harris made the save. Harris then used handcuffs to KO Rhodes. On the floor, Harris cuffed Rhodes to the corner ringpost. He tried to land a chair shot, but Rhodes kicked him away. He suddenly pulled out a magic key and uncuffed himself. Rhodes then smashed Harris across the back with a chair. He pulled out Misty from her cage and grasped it in his hands. He appeared to be set to shove Misty in Harris's trunks, but he opted to have Misty crawl across Harris's stomach until putting Misty's rear end on Harris's face. Unbelievable. Harris swatted the rat away while covering his face either a) not to start laughing or b) to cover his shame. They mercifully cut backstage.
WINNER: Harris in 5:00. Anticlimactic for Harris to get his revenge on Rhodes with a small package to end the match. Like a good TNA TV match, the post-match activity took precedence over the wrestling match... I wrote those two sentences before Rhodes put his rat on Harris's crotch and face. After that, I don't know what to say about this company anymore. (1/2*)
Backstage, Crystal interviewed Christian's group. Christian reminded us that he's never been pinned in TNA. He cut a promo about TNA's Samoan dancers. Ya know, because of their rich heritage that TNA introduced with a five-second sentence on Impact. Christian then reinforced all of the stereotypes about Samoans and said he doesn't need Tomko and Styles to help him tonight. He gave them the night off from keeping his back against Samoa Joe. Christian told Styles and Tomko to get ready for their tag title match opportunity.
6 -- TAG TEAM GAUNTLET MATCH -- #1 Contender match
A.J. Styles and Christopher Daniels started things off representing his respective tag team. They're doing one-minute intervals on wrestlers entering the gauntlet. Tenay said Eric Young drew number 20 for the match. Homicide came out third, representing LAX. Chris Sabin came out as the fourth participant. Havok out fifth. Petey came out sixth. Meanwhile, Homicide was the first elimination. Styles then countered a tornado DDT from Sabin into a toss over the top rope, eliminating Sabin second. Devon came out seventh. Naturally, he knocked down all of the smaller X Division wrestlers. Jimmy Rave came out eighth, with Christy Hemme accompanying him. Brother Ray came out ninth and just started running over the smaller wrestlers. Havok was eliminated third, then Raven came out as the tenth wrestler. He pulled out the snot rag and wiped Daniels's face with the rag. Devon had enough of that and eliminated Raven for the fourth elimination. Stick a fork in Serotonin, said Tenay.
Entry no. 11 was Shark Boy. Ray wasn't feeling the outfit, so he eliminated Shark Boy for the fifth elimination. Guru Sonjay Dutt then came out 12. 3D had enough of the smaller wrestlers and eliminated Rave sixth, then Petey seventh. B.G. James came out as no. 13 and he went right after 3D. Hernandez then entered as no. 14 and he ran over everyone in sight. Tomko came out as no. 15 and both members of Team 3D were quickly eliminated for nos. 8 and 9 when Ray accidentally eliminated Devon and Tomko eliminated Ray. Out as no. 16 was Elix Skipper. No eliminations, then Alex Shelley came out as no. 17 to delayed entrance music. Shelley suddenly tossed B.G. James for elimination ten. Out next as no. 18 was Lance Hoyt with Christy Hemme. He picked up Skipper for a chokeslam and nearly broke his neck trying to chokeslam him over the top rope to the floor. Unbelievably terrible move. Skipper was elimination no. 11, then Kip James came out as no. 19. Dutt drew Kip's ire with his peace, so Kip tossed him as elimination no. 12. Eric Young then came out as the final participant.
Elimination no. 13 was Hernandez when Tomko tossed him over the top rope when Hernandez charged Tomko. Young then surprised Tomko from behind and knocked him out as no. 14. Hoyt was out next as 15. Daniels and Kip eliminated each other as nos. 16 and 17. It came down to Styles, Young, and Shelley. Shelley and Styles tried to kiss up to Young to earn his services, but Young wasn't buying it. They ended up eliminating Young as no. 18 after a few tense moments. So, now it's a tag match to determine the winners.
6a -- A.J. STYLES & TOMKO vs. ALEX SHELLEY & CHRIS SABIN
Sabin and Shelley quickly double-teamed Tomko with rapid-fire moves. Tomko had enough and tagged out to Styles, who went for the Clash on Sabin, but Sabin slipped out and nailed a kick to the side of the head. Shelley then came off the top with a frog splash on Styles before nailing Tomko on the outside with a suicide dive. Back in the ring, Sabin walked into a soccer kick. Sabin and Styles then exchanged roll-through pin attempts before Styles hooked Sabin for the pin and the win.
WINNERS: Styles & Tomko in 26:00 to become #1 contenders. Five really good minutes of tag team action after the gauntlet stuff. If they cut it down to five teams, then booked 15 minutes of tag team action, this would have been a very good round of tag team wrestling. As it was, most of the gauntlet portion felt like a waste of time. (**)
Backstage, Borash interviewed Samoa Joe while his dancers stood in the background. Joe screamed and shouted about this becoming more than a personal issue with Christian. Joe said he knows why Christian went after his family last week: because he knows he can't get the job done against him. Joe screamed that Christian's ass is his tonight.
7 -- CHRISTIAN CAGE vs. SAMOA JOE (w/Dancers)
As Joe ran to the ring, the graphic actually said Samoa Joe with Dancers. No description of what kind of dancers; just dancers. Christian, sporting cream-colored hair, took a kick to the face in the opening seconds after Joe charged the ring. Joe washed Christian's face with his boot, then Joe landed a charging boot to the face. On the outside, Joe whipped Christian back-first into the guardrail. Christian tried to bail up the entrance ramp, but Joe chopped him down to size. Joe then dismantled Christian ringside before rolling him back into the ring. Joe quickly knocked Christian back to the outside before nailing a suicide dive with elbow smash. Christian rolled himself back into the ring, then Joe walked into a kick to the crotch. After five minutes of Joe dominating the action, Christian went on the offensive. Christian tried to use Joe's face wash combo, but Joe knocked him down and built a comeback. He then dropped Christian with a Death Valley Driver for a close nearfall at 8:00. After avoiding a frog splash, Joe hit a powerbomb into an STF in center ring. Instead of focusing on the match, some random fans decided to chant, "John Cena sucks." Funny how the anti-Cena fans would be thinking about Cena. Christian eventually escaped the hold and went up top, but Joe chopped him. They fought up top, then Christian hit an inverted DDT for a close nearfall. Joe then slapped on the rear naked choke and Christian tried to pin Joe's shoulders down using the ropes, but the ref shoved his feet away. Joe reapplied the hold and Christian barely reached the bottom rope to break the hold. Joe wouldn't release the hold, so the ref grabbed Joe by the hair. Joe applied a choke hold and the ref tried to pull him away by the hair to break the hold. Joe snapped on the ref and KO'ed him. Security tried to make the save, but Joe snapped on them. A second referee came down and called for the bell to DQ Joe.
After the DQ call, Joe ripped off a t-shirt from a security guard and choked Christian with the shirt. He then hung Christian across the top rope with the shirt. Eventually, Matt Morgan and Jim Cornette came to ringside and Morgan stopped Joe from choking out Christian. In the ring, Cornette told Joe that he's gone too far. Morgan stood tall as Joe caught his breath. Joe then flipped off Morgan and Cornette, and they left the ring. The fans popped for Joe.
WINNER: Christian Cage via DQ in 15:00. One of Christian's better non-gimmick singles matches since joining TNA. There was a non-finish, but it wasn't a non-finish for the sake of not having anyone do a job. It made sense for the storyline and feud. Whether they're able to turn Joe into a badass babyface remains to be seen, as they've failed for several months. Fortunately, the fans are quite forgiving of Joe and buy into his in-ring toughness, but his character still screams heel. (**3/4)
Backstage, Borash tried to interview Kurt Angle, who snapped on the No Surrender set. Angle, who once said TNA doesn't use vulgar language like on UFC shows, complained "that piece of s---" Jay Lethal only got a two count on him. Wow. Dr. Nash tried to calm Angle down, but Angle told him to go to hell. Nash said this isn't his first night in the business and Angle's about to let everything slip away.
In center ring, Tenay broke down all of the dangling carrots that have kept TNA in business the past five years. He said TNA is taking the next step. Cue video package recapping TNA's history until the present. They announced two hours starting October 4 at 9:00 p.m. EST. Don West screamed that people didn't believe it would ever happen. Because it took two years.
Backstage, Crystal interviewed Pacman and Killings about winning the tag titles. Pacman said the journey isn't done, as they have to defend the belts in Atlanta next month.
Abyss came out as the challenger for the World Title match. Kurt Angle then came out. Borash handled the formal intros, then Earl Hebner laid down the rules of the match. No fists. No hair-pulling. Five count in the ring. No outside interference, including Mrs. Angle.
8 -- KURT ANGLE vs. ABYSS -- TNA Hvy. Title match
They went through a nice feeling-out process to build tension for the match. Angle tried to land right hand blows to the side of the head, but Abyss no-sold and pulled Angle back to center ring after grabbing him by the straps. Abyss landed a right hand to the face before throwing him high into the air and knocking him to the outside. Some crazy woman cackled ringside while Angle recovered on the floor. Oh wait, that was a guy. Geez. Abyss whipped Angle into the guardrail, then Angle crawled back into the ring and Abyss pounded him in the corner. Angle then caught Abyss from behind with a chop block, opening up Angle's offensive attack. Angle worked on the knee and West went back to his youth for an analogy of the bendable G.I. Joe figures being twisted and contorted in unnatural positions. Abyss tried to make a comeback on one good leg, but he couldn't lift Angle off the mat. Angle then ran into a spinebuster before nailing his shoulder into the corner ringpost. Abyss followed with the Shock Treatment for a nearfall. Abyss went for a chokeslam, but Angle rolled through into a pin for a nearfall. At 13:00, Angle hit a release German Suplex for a nearfall. After back and forth exchanges, including Angle taking off Abyss's boot to focus his attack, Abyss hit the Black Hole Slam for a close nearfall. Abyss pulled himself up and went for a dominator, but Angle dropped Abyss and slapped on the anklelock. Abyss tried to grab the bottom rope, but Angle pulled him back to center ring and grapevined the leg. The camera cut to a shot of Angle having the hold locked in, and we heard the sound of a hand slapping the mat. The ref then called for the bell and awarded Angle the victory and the belt. Afterward, the ref checked on Abyss, who held his ankle in pain.
WINNER: Angle apparently via submission in 20:00. Slow, methodical match that stayed in first gear with Abyss unable to move well in the final half of the match. A breath of fresh air with no interference, no referee incompetency, no gimmicks, and no bag of tricks. Just a gutsy effort from Abyss and Angle. A good story fit for a World Title match. (***1/4)
On the video screen, James Mitchell appeared and congratulated Abyss on a well-fought match. Mitchell then said his death chariot has arrived. Suddenly, a hand emerged from beneath the apron and pulled Abyss beneath the ring. Some sort of smoke shot up from beneath the ring as they ended the PPV.
On the "upcoming attractions" PPVs that air when the PPV goes off the air, a promo for ROH aired. A promo for Unforgiven aired next.
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