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TV Reports
CALDWELL'S TNA IMPACT REPORT 8/30: Ongoing "virtual time" coverage of Spike TV show
Aug 30, 2007 - 9:01:00 PM


By James Caldwell, Torch columnist

TNA Impact on Spike TV
August 30, 2007
Taped August 27 in Orlando, Florida
Report by James Caldwell, Torch columnist


They open with a recap of last week's show.

Backstage, the new Crystal interview lady asked Ron Killings and Pacman Jones about the autograph they gave Eric Young last week with the spray can. Pacman said he usually charges $500,000 for an autograph and Young received a freebee. Someone else is getting an autograph tonight, he said.

Mike Tenay and Don West plugged the four-way match to determine Kurt Angle's tag partner. They cut backstage where Kurt Angle complained to Jeremy Borash about none of the four men being suitable tag partners. Dr. Nash then pepped up Angle while Karen Angle watched from the couch. Nash talked about the charity work Angle does. Then, everyone had a laugh. Karen then told Kurt that since he took care of her last week, she would take care of him this week. She left to go find the "usual suspects" and do whatever that entails.

Team 3D came out and they recapped Team 3D taking out Rick Steiner last week. Rick is out indefinitely. Sabin and Shelley then came out for a match against Team 3D, but Scott Steiner came to ringside and sent them away. Scott tried to jump 3D, but they cut him off in the ring. Scott then came back with a series of belly-to-belly suplexes. Cue the random crowd shots. Scott then went under the ring for a table and slid it into the ring. Devon jumped Scott, though. Team 3D then hit a 3D on Scott in center ring. Suddenly, Ray had a mic in hand. He sarcastically apologized for almost killing Rick last week. Ray cleared referees, who tried to hold 3D back, but they cleared the refs away and slammed a chair into Scott's throat. Medics then stormed the ringside area and checked on Scott. Ray then grabbed the timekeeper's mallet and cleared away all of the medics and refs. Yes, with a mallet. Devon laid out security, then 3D brought Scott back into the ring. Ray called his spot, then Devon put Scott on his shoulders for a top rope powerbomb through a table in center ring.

[Commercial Break]

They came back and recapped Scott Steiner being taken away on a stretcher and eventually in an ambulance during the commercial break.

Back in the ring, Alex Shelley cut a promo about bumping up the ratings while Chris Sabin danced in center ring. VKM's music then hit to silence. VKM came out with Kip still wearing the bright blue trunks. VKM hit the ring and quickly jumped Motor City Machine Guns without a bell sounding since Ray stole the mallet.

[Q2]

1 -- KIP JAMES & B.G. JAMES (w/Roxxi LaVeaux) vs. MOTOR CITY MACHINE GUNS (CHRIS SABIN & ALEX SHELLEY)

The action continued with MCMG working on B.G. James. They hit a combination drop kick on B.G. before Kip attacked Shelley on the outside and threw him into the guardrail. Back in the ring, Kip gave Sabin a Cobra Clutch Slam and B.G. covered him for a three count.

WINNERS: Kip & B.G. in 1:00. The match result writes itself. (n/a)

After the action, Kip took the mic and asked if there are any other worthy tag teams in the building. The fans chanted, "That was bulls---". LAX's music hit, then Homicide and Hernandez came out. Triple X walked out. Young & Shark Boy also came out. Suddenly, a brawl broke out in the ring. Random action as Tenay talked about it turning into a battle royale.

Backstage, Borash found Karen Angle walking down the hallway. Borash asked Karen if she should really be going to Samoa Joe's locker room. She said it would be OK since Samoans have short memory. Karen then slowly walked in and Samoa Joe dropped his phone call to ask Karen if she was really serious. He told her to walk back out the door before he does something they'll both regret. Karen asked the million dollar question of how long the war between Joe and Angle has to go on. Karen said they should unite the two more powerful forces going today since none of them are winning alone. Joe said those are good points, then he calmed down and said they could take over the world together. Joe then switched gears to yelling and screaming about Karen needing to be there ringside when he takes Joe apart bone by bone. That way, she'll be able to see first-hand what pain she caused her husband. Joe forced her against a wall, then Karen left near tears.

[Commercial Break]

Backstage, Karen Angle interrupted Christian Cage, A.J. Styles, and Tomko's interview time with Borash. Christian asked Karen if she was lost since the strip club is down the line. Styles defended Karen, so she tugged on his jacket. Karen then proposed a deal where she helps Christian win and he gets the first title shot against Angle. Christian said he wasn't biting because the only liar bigger than Karen around here is him. He stormed off with Tomko, then Karen got in close to Styles. He initially wasn't biting on Karen's offer of winning the tag match, then receiving a title shot. Styles stormed off, then came back right back and made sure Karen was serious. Karen pulled Styles in close and told him just to win. She kissed him on the cheek then left. Styles told Borash that she definitely wants him. They shared a laugh, then Styles told Borash not to tell Angle. Borash hinted that the camera was watching.

From that quiet interview to Mike Tenay screaming from ringside, Tenay ran down the upcoming PPV card.

They cut to the adventures of James Storm bar-hopping. He walked into a bar looking for Rhino. A bunch of guys told Storm to beat it. One guy said Rhino was at the bar the other day. Storm tried to threaten the guy with karate. A screen flashed to call a number if you've seen Rhino: 1-888-Have-A-Beer.

Christian Cage walked out alone for the four-way main event match. Tenay took us back to last week about Christian faking an injury. A.J. Styles came out second. Samoa Joe then came out with his Samoan dance troupe.

[Q3]

Suddenly, they cut backstage where Karen tried to talk Sting into winning the match. Karen told Sting to do it for the kids and be a role model with Angle. Sting said that if Karen is so concerned about the children, she needs to change her dress. Ouch. Sting came out, then Kurt and Karen came out to watch the match.

[Commercial Break]

2 -- CHRISTIAN CAGE vs. A.J. STYLES vs. STING vs. SAMOA JOE -- winner receives one-half of tag titles

The bell sounded and the action quickly broke down. Christian and Styles suddenly chucked Joe to the outside before double-teaming Sting in the ring. Sting then came back with a double clothesline to knock Styles to the floor. Sting worked on Christian and went for the Scorpion deathlock, but Christian reached the ropes to break the hold. Suddenly, Styles and Sting brawled on the floor and Joe went for a rear naked choke on Christian, only to have Styles break up the hold. Joe answered with a standing enziguiri on Styles before throwing him head-first into Christian's crotch. Suddenly, Styles came off the top with a back flip inverted DDT on Joe. Sting then re-entered the ring and chucked Christian and Styles to the floor. They cut to a break with Sting and Joe having a staredown.

[Commercial Break]

Back from break, Joe hit a snap powerslam on Sting for a nearfall. Styles and Christian re-entered the ring and had a dispute when Styles broke up Christian's pin attempt. Styles suddenly rolled up Christian for a nearfall. Christian did likewise. They went into an exchange of pins before Christian scored a nearfall on a backslide attempt.

[Q4]

Styles jumped over Christian to set up the Styles Clash, but Christian slipped out and Sting ate the Pele soccer kick from Styles. Christian then missed with a top rope frog splash and everyone recovered on the mat. On the outside, Kurt Angle lifted his sunglasses to show shock on his face as everyone recovered in the ring. Joe then cleared everyone to the outside and flew over the top rope with a cannonball dive ala Unbreakable 2005 on Styles and Daniels. They cut to a break.

[Commercial Break]

They returned with Christian stomping on Sting and Styles. During the break, Christian laid out Joe with a low blow and Unprettier on the floor. Christian and Styles seemed to be communicating again, this time about taking out Sting. They took too long getting on the same page, allowing Sting to come back with a Splash on Styles in the corner. Sting then dropped Christian with the Deathdrop for a nearfall when Styles broke up the pin. Styles helped Christian to his feet, then told him to get a chair. Joe ripped it away from Christian, though, and threw him onto the announce table. They brawled ringside and to the backstage area. Meanwhile, Styles tried to remove the turnbuckle pad, leading to Tomko running in and dropping Sting with a big boot to the head. Styles then covered Sting while grinning from ear-to-ear, but Sting kicked out just in time. Styles then jumped into the Scorpion Deathlock and Styles cried out in pain before tapping out to Sting.

WINNER: Sting in 20:00 to become one-half of the TNA tag champions. Great action throughout. All over the map and a lack of long-term selling at times, but it fit TNA's vision and theme of non-stop action. A strong upgrade over recent TNA match offerings. (***)

After the match, Kurt had an indifferent look of non-excitement on his face. Kurt and Karen then entered the ring and Kurt reluctantly handed over one of the belts at Karen's urging. Sting took it from Karen, then she clapped it up for both men. Kurt and Sting shook hands, then all three stood tall in center ring. Kurt and Karen left the ring while Sting celebrated by himself. Suddenly, Killings and Pacman hit the ring and jumped Sting. Pacman warmed up the spray can, then he gave Sting the nWo mark across his back. Kurt then ran back into the ring and cleared Team Pacman from the ring.

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