By James Caldwell, Torch columnist

WWE Raw Live Report
September 3 in Columbus, Ohio

The show started with a recap video from last week when Randy Orton took out John Cena, then Cena's father with a kick to the head.

1 -- UMAGA vs. JEFF HARDY -- Intercontinental Title match

Jeff Hardy came out and Jim Ross said Hardy has a chance to pull off an Appalachian State-like upset tonight. Ouch. Umaga came out and Hardy took several deep breaths to ease his fears. Umaga quickly restored the fears by attacking Hardy after the opening bell. Hardy had a very brief moment of control, but Umaga superkicked him off the apron to the floor. It's a deal where Umaga gets all the offense until the finish.

[Commercial Break]

Umaga was still in control out of the break, continuing to work on the challenger. Hardy momentarily broke free from Umaga's grip, but he walked into a Samoan Drop. Umaga then went up top for a diving headbutt, Hardy moved just in time and both men recovered on the mat. Hardy then made his comeback with a double-foot dropkick to the chest before hitting the Whisper in the Wind for a nearfall. Hardy attempted an ill-fated top rope splash, but Umaga caught him and landed the swinging sidewalk slam for a nearfall that popped the crowd when they expected Hardy to be completely done. Umaga went up top, but Hardy made a desperation dive to crotch Umaga. Hardy then made a quick cover for the pin and the win, with Umaga kicking out just after the three count. Hardy was in a state of shock following the conclusion and being handed the belt. Umaga flipped out. We'll see you in a few weeks.

WINNER: Hardy via Wellness in 11:00 to capture the IC Title. Nice title match with a smart formula of having the guy who's dropping the belt get in all the offense before the challenger wins by the skin of his teeth so the former champion has a claim to the belt when he comes back. (**)

[Q2]

Tomorrow night on ECW, Punk vs. Morrison for the ECW Title.

They recapped Hardy's victory before showing Umaga having rage issues by destroying the announce set.

Backstage, Vince McMahon and The Coach talked in Vince's office while Vince's attorneys sat on the couch and hammered out the details of their defense tonight. Carlito then came out sporting a new hair-do. Vince asked Carlito what he's going to do about being embarrassed on the Cabana last night. He then said instead of Hunter vs. Carlito tonight, it should be a very upset Umaga and Carlito against Hunter. Carlito said that's cool.

Santino Marella knocked on the diva locker room door and asked for Maria to come out. Maria, who apparently dropped the air-headedness, didn't appreciate Santino booking her in a re-match against Beth Phoenix. Santino assured Maria that she would be fine tonight.

William Regal was talking to a random stagehand about the opening of the show, then Melina walked in and whispered in Regal's ear about what she did with Vince back in July. Regal said that's disgusting and kinky. Stephanie McMahon then walked into the shot and feigned an open hand slap. Melina cowered, then Linda walked in from the other side and delivered a slow-motion slap to the face. Ron Simmons entered from stage left to shout, "Damn!" in Melina's face, which popped the crowd.

[Commercial Break]

[Q3]

Santino escorted Maria to the ring, then Santino cut a promo that his arm is almost 100 percent. He said he's going to embarrass Ron Simmons more than the Senator looking for boyfriend love in the toilet. He refused to wrap up his segment, then Sandman's music hit. He is apparently not affected by Wellness now that he's dropped the beer-drinking entrance. Santino cut a promo that Sandman is jealous because he make-a-love to Maria and Sandman make-a-love to his stick. Sandman then used his stick to cane Santino across the head. They stumbled up the entrance ramp and Sandman continued to cane Santino. Maria was unsure what to make of this development.

[Commercial Break]

2 -- MARIA vs. BETH PHOENIX

This was a scene out of American Gladiators with Maria trying to run around the larger Beth Phoenix on the Gauntlet. Beth finished off Maria with a cradle suplex for the pin and the win. No points for Maria.

Afterward, Beth cut a promo about being the uber-diva with strength, confidence, class, and beauty. She is a glamazon. Somehow, I don't see that catching on at the merchandise table. Beth then exercised her #1 contender status for a match against Candice Michelle at Unforgiven. Beth gave Maria her finisher again, then Candice hit the ring and sent Beth away so she could check on Maria.

WINNER: Beth in 1:00. Solid effort in trying to get Beth over, but it's not clicking. (n/a)

They showed some close-up photos of John Cena's father's eye a few days after Randy Orton's attack last week.

[Commercial Break]

[Q4]

In the ring, GM William Regal recapped last week's story that Randy Orton was denied a title shot before attacking Cena's father to make a point about wanting the title shot. Regal then announced that Randy Orton has been given the night off, but he's going to join us via satellite. Orton said what he did last week could be classified as sick and deranged, but Cena brought this upon himself. He said Cena could have prevented this had he accepted the blackmail of a WWE title shot. Regal then booked Cena vs. Orton for the WWE Title at Unforgiven. Orton thanked Regal, then he said he hopes Cena's father never forgives Cena for what he caused last week.

Regal then tried to transition to the rest of the show, but Cena slowly walked out without any music or a fancy entrance. Cena paused on top of the stage with a stern look on his face, then he slowly walked to the ring as Regal tried to explain that he's just doing his job. Cena held up his title belt and stared at it before clenching his jaw and wiping his forehead in deep thought. He then snapped on Regal and knocked him to the outside. He put Regal in the STFU on the floor and tried to choke the life out of him, even with referees trying to pull him away. Cena finally released the hold and walked away while Ross said what Cena did would be considered criminal assault if it happened outside of the arena. They're pushing the envelope on the not-so-subtle Benoit imagery.

[Commercial Break]

They came back and recapped Cena snapping on Regal. Cade and Murdoch then joined Ross and Lawler ringside for a #1 contender match. They're actually having a tag team match at the top of the second hour, which is generally one of the most-watched quarter-hours of the show.

[Q5]

3 -- SHELTON BENJAMIN & CHARLIE HAAS vs. BRIAN KENDRICK & PAUL LONDON -- #1 contender match

Cade and Murdoch stuck to their motto of playing by the rules and working as a team to be role models for the kids of the world. The new Rockers worked on Haas in the opening minutes before Haas came back with an overhead release German suplex on London. Kendrick took a hot tag after London took a beating for a few minutes and he splashed Haas for a nearfall. Kendrick then flipped Koko B. Sisqo to the floor before catching Haas with Sliced Bread #2 for the pin and the win. Cade and Murdoch agreed that was great tag team action. They left the announce table and clapped it up for the new #1 contenders before everyone shook hands.

WINNERS: London & Kendrick in 6:00. A fine TV match, although not enough time to build drama for the high stakes of challenging for the tag titles. Never mind, it is the tag titles. (*)

They cut backstage where William Regal was hanging out of an ambulance being tended to for his wounds. Shane McMahon then walked by and smirked.

[Commercial Break]

They aired a video package on C.M. Punk's straight-edge lifestyle and quest for the ECW Title.

Backstage, Umaga fumed while Carlito tried to calm him down and direct his rage toward Triple H. Carlito planted a story that he overhead Hunter laughing after Umaga dropped the belt tonight. Umaga breathed even heavier, then the camera focused on his eyes.

In Vince's office, Vince asked his lawyers to explain the status of his Swiss banking account and trust account. They assured him the accounts were safe from sticky fingers. Vince then asked Coach about Regal's condition. Coach said it's not good, so Vince quickly put him back in charge. One of the lawyers then suggested a new strategy for Vince to seek a settlement after hearing out the details of claims against him. Vince didn't like the defensive strategy and screamed at the lawyer for having the audacity not to be a yes-man. He fired him and sent him away. The two remaining lawyers re-adjusted themselves as Vince salivated over the thought of going for the jugular.

[Q6]

[Commercial Break]

Jillian Hall and Daivari came out for a mixed tag match. Quite the tandem. Jillian then cut a promo sarcastically putting over Lillian Garcia's WWE Magazine interview. She explained why her mouth was swollen: wisdom teeth removed. Ah, the horrible memories. Jillian then said she would still perform despite her condition. She pulled out some blood-stained gauze and handed it over to Daivari, who was grossed out. They proceeded to sing a duet in several different off-key languages. This was the greatest ever with Daivari singing. Mickie James then came out with Cody Rhodes to put an end to the singing.

4 -- CODY RHODES & MICKIE JAMES vs. JILLIAN HALL & DAIVARI

Jillian complained about her sore jaw, then used it as a distraction to attack Mickie. Mickie came back with a kick to the face and Jillian cried in the corner about teeth pain. The men then took tags and Daivari settled into a mat-based attack on Dusty's son. The fans chanted "U-S-A" at Daivari, which Jillian tried to silence. Nothing like a USA chant at two Americans. Daivari nailed Cody with a jawbreaker, but Cody ducked a clothesline and nailed a spike DDT for the win. Cody then got the babyface shine with the lovable Mickie hugging him after the match.

WINNER: Cody & Mickie in 5:00. A couple of solid new tag team tandems. Cody isn't ready to be a standout singles wrestler on his own, so a short-term program with Mickie could be beneficial for his development, especially to get the Cena response from the kids and women, which is definitely there at its beginning stages. (*)

[Commercial Break]

[Q7]

Triple H did his lengthy ring entrance, then Carlito walked out and talked trash to Hunter before Umaga came out.

5 -- TRIPLE H vs. UMAGA & CARLITO -- handicap match

Carlito started things off with Hunter, who quickly disposed of him to the outside. Hunter then challenged Umaga to fight, but Carlito jumped Hunter from behind. The heels then double-teamed Hunter without tagging in and out, so the referee threw the match out.

After the match was tossed, Umaga hit a top rope diving splash on Hunter, then Carlito pulled out two chairs from ringside. Carlito held a chair over Hunter's head for the running rear splash from Umaga, but Hunter moved and Umaga ate the chair. Hunter then made his huge comeback with multiple chair shots to both heels. Hunter deiced the chair wasn't working, so he went under the ring and pulled out the sledgehammer to a big pop from the crowd. He measured Umaga and smashed him in the forehead with the sledgehammer. Umaga came up bleeding, then he stumbled around the ring trying to collect himself. Hunter stalked his animal prey, then landed a hammer shot to the back of the head and posed over his trophy. Apparently Jeff Hardy taking the IC Title belt from Umaga wasn't enough, as the beastslayer needed to add the finishing touch.

WINNER: No decision in 2:00. If they're going to push Hunter as the biggest star in the company, might as well have him kill a Wellness victim or two since the crowd ate this up. And Hunter gets a chance to boost the generally least-viewed quarter-hour of the show. (n/a)

[Commercial Break]

[Q8]

Ross and Lawler broke down the Unforgiven PPV card.

Vince McMahon strutted out with Coach and his two remaining lawyers. Vince called himself the patriarch of his family, then said everyone is after his money. He said his family is going to walk out with open hands expecting a hand out. Suddenly, the old school WrestleMania theme song hit and Linda walked out to the ring. Vince feigned opening the ropes for Linda, then Coach handled the honors. Vince asked Linda how she expects to get her cut without an attorney. Linda then reminded Vince that she is the CEO of WWE and she has plenty of money. She doesn't need Vince's money. Linda then reminded Vince she could take him for everything he's worth because of all the women Coach paraded out as Vince's former mistresseses. He snapped on Linda that she doesn't understand the lonely days on the road building the company.

Stephanie then walked out and Vince reminded everyone that she is the volatile one in the family. Vince reminded Stephanie of their differences and wonderful times together. He said he put a video together of the tender moments they shared together. Vince then showed footage from the I Quit match they had in 2003 with Vince choking out Stephanie while Linda watched helplessly. Coach shouted that someone must have sabotaged the video. Suddenly, they cut to Triple H on the Titantron looking innocent. He said he had nothing to do with it. He then said hi to Stephanie, who smiled. Stephanie changed the subject and said Vince should step down as chairman of the board.

Shane's music hit, and he walked out while Vince held an icy glare. Vince asked Shane if he should be penniless or step down as the chairman. Shane had to know which Vince he was talking to, though. He asked if he was talking to the death-faking, egomaniacal lunatic or the pioneering father. Shane then told Vince it's one thing to embarrass all of them, but if he really wants to change, it's about the McMahon family legacy from his grandfather to grandkids. Shane told Vince that he's sick and he needs to work out his issues. He said that after all, he always wanted a brother. Stephanie shot him a weird look.

[Q9 -- over-run]

Vince then made confession that all of the affairs he listed to Coach were all a bunch of big lies that he made up to boost his ego since he's only been unfaithful once in his life. The crowd laughed at that notion. Vince said the one time he strayed produced his bastard son, but now he feels a kindred spirit to humble himself before Linda. Vince dropped down to one knee and vowed to be a better father and husband. Suddenly, Mr. Kennedy's music hit and he walked to the ring shaking his head. Kennedy said everything happens for a reason, and it's not a coincidence that they share a last name and middle name, or that Vince demanded the identity of the son be revealed next week in his hometown of Green Bay. Kennedy claimed to be Vince's son. Stephanie said Kennedy might be a bastard, but he's not Vince's bastard son. Kennedy told his "sister" to back off, then he built up Vince's ego by telling him to be more outrageous and over the top. Kennedy said that if Vince wouldn't have been the egomaniacal lunatic, he wouldn't have become the greatest WWE superstar in history due to Vince's inspiration. Kennedy claimed to be the son who cares and doesn't judge Vince. Kennedy repeated his name and Vince cracked a huge smile before hugging him. They shared a warm moment, then a random man walked out on stage and said he represents the woman who gave birth to Vince's illegitimate son. He said the identity would be revealed next week. They piped in some loud boos from the crowd. The random man then pulled out a Clue! The Clue read: "Things are looking up." No one in the ring knew what that meant. Find out next week when The Clue is revealed.

We welcome your 1-10 score and comments on this show for a "Raw Reax" feature in the Torch Feedback section of PWTorch.com. To contribute your thoughts on Raw, click here.

We suggest these recent related articles...

PARKS'S WWE SMACKDOWN REPORT 10/8: Ongoing "virtual time" coverage of Thursday show, including Roman Reigns & Randy Orton vs. Bray Wyatt & Braun Strowman

METZGER'S ROH TV REPORT 10/4 & 10/7: IWGP World champ Okada vs. Roderick Strong main event, plus Briscoes vs. Time Splitters, more from "Field of Honor," Overall Reax

MCMAHON'S TNA IMPACT REPORT 10/7: TNA Title Series kicks off, Bound for Glory fall-out, more; Overall Reax