By James Caldwell, Torch columnist

TNA Impact on Spike TV
September 6, 2007
Taped August 27 in Orlando, Florida
Report by James Caldwell, Torch columnist

They open with a recap of last week's events and Sting becoming one-half of the TNA tag champions with Kurt Angle.

Backstage, a Hummer pulled up backstage and Team Pacman jumped out to greet the new interview lady, Krystal. Pacman said there will be no consequences for their actions last week. The Titans-TNA deal seems like such yesterday news compared to the latest from WWE and Benoit. Pacman said they have another autograph to give out tonight. He shook the paintcan and left with Killings.

1 -- KAZ vs. TOMKO

The bell sounded and Mike Tenay announced a ten-man tag team gauntlet match at the PPV to determine the #1 contender to the belts. Kaz worked on Tomko to start things off, then Robert Roode and Ms. Brooks quickly came to ringside. Brooks was pouting. Tenay then explained all of the rules to the gauntlet deal while Kaz made his comeback. Tenay and West were still talking about the gauntlet match and Scott Steiner possibly having a career-threatening injury while Tomko powerslammed Kaz to cut off Kaz. Back to the action, Kaz hit a top rope missile dropkick for a nearfall. Kaz then dropkicked Roode on the floor and followed out with right hand blows. Tenay said there will be a major announcement concerning the future of TNA at the PPV. Two hours later, Kaz hit a Tornado DDT back in the ring. Tomko then avoided a move and hit a big boot to the face before nailing a two-hand chokeslam for the win. After the match, Roode tried to beat down Kaz, but Tomko shoved Roode away.

WINNER: Tomko in 5:00. The match highlights TNA's push of larger, former WWE stars over up-and-comers with a chance to earn a name. Match was secondary to everything else going on in TNA. (*)

Tenay and West broke down the No Surrender PPV card.

Backstage, Jeremy Borash was with the "Dream Team". No Barkley, Jordan, or Pippen here. Sting, Kurt Angle, and Karen Angle stood by with Borash and Sting talked about who has who's back. He said they could have each other's back or go out there and mess things up by ripping each other apart. Karen interjected that Sting can't issue an ultimatum like that to her husband. Sting told Kurt to get his woman in check and keep her in the back. Karen feigned a slap to Sting, but Kurt told her to listen to Sting and stay in the back. Karen gritted her teeth in frustration as Sting and Kurt left.

[Commercial Break]

[Q2]

Dustin Rhodes cut a promo in his Black Reign character about dementia setting in and him becoming a different person to attack Chris Harris. The video package showed Harris receiving a blow to the head at the last PPV. Chris Harris then cut a promo about getting revenge on Dustin. Ringside, Tenay said he's glad Harris is seeing his revenge after suffering a concussion from Rhodes at the PPV. A bad, bad, bad segment and feud considering everything we know about Chris Benoit, dementia, and how real concussions are.

Backstage, Borash interviewed Jay Lethal about the X Division Title match against Kurt Angle at the PPV. Abyss then walked in and flashed his chain toward Lethal. Abyss then cut a promo: "Angle. It starts tonight. It ends Sunday. At No Surrender, you're blood. My gold." Grunt. Lethal paused, then said Bingo.

Backstage, Samoa Joe walked out of his locker room to leave the building. Tenay said he was walking toward the ring. Apparently he's had enough. Team Pacman then walked into the shot and they asked themselves if Joe would be the next victim.

[Commercial Break]

James Storm and Miss Jackie approached an AA meeting. Storm thought it was Triple A, but Jackie corrected him. They entered the AA meeting and a TNA staff member posing as an alcoholic announced himself. Some other random people announced themselves before Storm said he needs some beer. The TNA staff members/alcoholics tried to kick him out of the AA meeting, but Storm stuck around long enough to drop off a six-pack of beer. Still no sign of Rhino.

Raven came to the ring, then Samoa Joe came through the Dance troupe entrance.

2 -- SAMOA JOE vs. RAVEN

The match quickly moved to the outside and Joe smashed Raven in the face with a big boot. Back in the ring, he landed a forearm blow. Joe proceeded to wash Raven's face in the corner with his boot before Raven blocked a charging boot by pulling out a Kendo stick. Suddenly, A.J. Styles smashed Joe from behind with a Kendo stick while Raven had the ref distracted.

[Commercial Break]

[Q3]

Back from break, Joe was in control, but Raven landed a thumb to the eye and a high knee to the face. Styles tried to subdue Joe from the apron, but Styles ate Raven's snot rag when Joe ducked. Joe then put Raven in the rear naked choke for a tap out.

WINNER: Joe via submission in 5:00. Match was a mere formality to throw wrestling fans a bone. (1/2*)

After the match, Christian's group jumped Joe and laid him out. Christian then pulled out handcuffs and hooked up Joe to the bottom rope. Suddenly, the Samoan dancers hit the ring and tried to hold off Christian's group, but they jumped the dancers while Joe could only watch. They gave one of the dancers a Conchairto before security hit the ring. Joe screamed in pain and frustration while Christian's group laughed and smiled.

[Commercial Break]

James Mitchell cut a promo about the calm before the storm when he unleashes his monster. Mitchell said there's a rumbling off in the distance and the sound is a death wagon driven by his son, Judas Messias. They showed a dark profile shot of Judas standing off to the side.

Ringside, Tenay recapped Joe's pain in the previous segment, then talked about everyone having full knowledge of the traditions of the Samoan people. Actually, this has not been explained, as the only portrayal of Samoans on wrestling TV have been savages and people who can't feel pain in the head.

Suddenly, Rhino joined Tenay and West from the phone. The shortest phone conversation ever ended with Rhino saying he would be at No Surrender. Don West screamed that Rhino will be in the ring at No Surrender.

[Q4]

3 -- ABYSS & JAY LETHAL vs. STING & KURT ANGLE

Lethal and Sting started things off with a mat exchange before Abyss took a tag and squared off with his former enemy, then partner, then enemy, then friend. Abyss wanted Angle, though. Angle didn't want a piece of Abyss initially, but he entered the ring and grabbed Abyss from behind and thrust. Abyss no-sold the rear attack and twisted Angle's arm before slamming him to the mat. Abyss executed a press slam as they cut to a random crowd shot, then Abyss caught Angle with a big boot to the face. They cut to a break as Karen Angle walked to ringside.

[Commercial Break]

During the break, Kurt hauled Karen off to the back while Karen screamed at Sting that she hates him. Aw. Tenay announced Rhino vs. Storm at the PPV. Again. Back in the ring, Sting tossed Lethal around and scored with a suplex for a nearfall. Lethal then made his comeback on Angle, but Angle quickly recovered and dropped Lethal with a German suplex for a nearfall. Abyss then took a hot tag and knocked down Angle and Sting with big boots. Lethal then went up top and flew off Abyss's shoulders with an elbow drop on Angle for a nearfall. Abyss then grasped Angle and Sting for chokeslams, but he pushed Sting aside to give him a reprieve before giving Angle a chokeslam. Sting, not reciprocating the gesture, broke up Abyss's pin attempt on Angle. The action broke down and Abyss took too long on a slam attempt on Angle, giving Angle enough time to slip out and hit an Olympic slam for a nearfall. Angle dropped the straps and went for the Anklelock, but Abyss broke free and hit the Black Hole Slam for a three count.

WINNERS: Abyss & Lethal in 13:00. Very rushed, fast-paced action with a lot happening in the final three minutes. Abyss gets an important visual cover on Angle before the title match at the PPV. (**)

Abyss went under the ring to look for tacks, then James Mitchell walked out on stage and distracted Abyss. Sting tried to guide Abyss, but Abyss followed Mitchell to the back. Team Pacman then jumped into the ring and fought off Sting before spraypainting Angle. Tenay reminded us of what Team Pacman said earlier in the show. The fastest spray-paint job ever recorded on video tape. Team Pacman stood stall on the stage to close the show.

They closed with a video recap of the feuds leading up to the PPV matches.

We welcome your 1-10 score and comments on this show for an "Impact Reax" feature in the Torch Feedback section of PWTorch.com. To contribute your thoughts on Impact, click here.

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