By James Caldwell, Torch columnist

WWE Raw Live Report
September 10 in Green Bay, Wisc.

The show started with Vince McMahon and The Coach walked to the ring. Vince recapped the illegitimate child story and said his child is a current WWO...oops...Vince told the crowd to shut up when they pointed out his slip. He said the bastard son is a current WWE superstar and he's going to find out today. Vince asked Coach what the "Things are looking up" clue is all about. He then said he's glad to know his son isn't from Green Bay, which generated some boos. Vince then pulled out the WWE Magazine with Mr. Kennedy on the cover. He told Coach to rip it up, which Coach struggled to complete the task. Vince then asked for his son to come out. Great Khali's music hit and he walked out with translator guy. Vince was all-smiles and he had a gleam in his eye. Khali proceeded to cut a promo that no one understood. Translator Guy said Khali actually might have some insight into all of this and he would be truly honored to be called the Great McMahon. Things got even more peculiar when JBL's music hit and JBL walked out with a big smile on his face. JBL said McMahon needs to think outside the box on the clue and realize Khali isn't the son. He said they both love money, so it makes sense for Vince to tie his cart to JBL's money since things are "looking up" for him from a financial standpoint. Vince was getting a little annoyed by JBL's speech, then JBL said he should change his name to JBM: John Bradshaw McMahon.

And now for something completely different, IC champion Jeff Hardy came to the ring to a superstar pop. Coach cut him off and asked what Jeff is doing out here. He said he's not really sure since he knows and loves his father. But, every time he jumps off a 20-foot ladder, everyone says things are looking up. Vince said Jeff doesn't look like his brother, so maybe he is his son. Jeff said he sure as hell hopes not. They had an exchange of haircut jokes, then the random attorney from last week showed up on the Titantron. Vince said he hates Mr. Johnson, the attorney. He said he hates all attorneys and he hates his own attorneys. Vince demanded to know who the son is. Johnson said the son would be revealed sometime tonight, but when his client is good and ready. Vince wanted to know if the son is in the ring. Johnson said the son is not Jeff Hardy. "Praise the Lord. Yeah!!!" Jeff screamed. Vince took exception to Jeff's sudden outburst of non-McMahon emotion and booked him in a match against Khali tonight. Jeff went from confident to crestfallen while Khali readied his hands for a Claw.

[Commercial Break]

[Q2]

Paul London and Brian Kendrick came to the ring and Ross talked about the South Africa tour the Raw roster just finished. Ross mentioned that Kendrick & London won the tag belts at the beginning of the tour, then Cade & Murdoch won the belts back at the end of the tour. They have a tag title re-match at the Unforgiven PPV.

1 -- PAUL LONDON (w/Brian Kendrick) vs. LANCE CADE (w/Trevor Murdoch)

They went into a headlock exchange and Ross said that John Cena has been banned from the building because of his actions last week. London landed a springboard dropkick at 2:00 for a nearfall. Suddenly, Kendrick entered the ring with the ref distracted by Murdoch and Kendrick dropped Cade with Sliced Bread #2. London then hit a running shooting star press on Cade for the win.

WINNER: London in 3:00. Short match to briefly present the issue going into the PPV. Nice to see a babyface team use the formula heel interference against them. (1/2*)

Backstage, they showed Triple H pondering deep thoughts while staring at a piece of paper. Like a good SNL parody commercial, he saw the camera and tried to act surprised. He then flipped the paper around to reveal a WWE.com merchandise plug. He left the sign next to his new t-shirt and skedaddled.

[Commercial Break]

[Q3]

Ringside, Ross and Lawler talked about past Vengeance moments. They went to a video package on Randy Orton taking out John Cena's father two weeks ago before Cena took out William Regal last week.

Backstage, Event Staff was blocking the entrance to the arena to prevent Cena from entering the building.

Elsewhere, Vince and Coach discussed William Regal's condition and Coach said Regal is in no condition to come back. Coach then told Vince that he banned Cena from the building, as if Vince hasn't been watching the show so far tonight. Coach talked about a poll on WWE.com where the fans voted for who would be Vince's son. He then brought in #2: Stevie Richards. Vince had a good laugh and said it's typical of the audience to be way off. He laughed Stevie out of the office. Vince then asked who #1 was. Coach hesitated, drawing Vince's ire, then he said Triple H. Vince sighed.

They cut to footage of Triple H taking out Umaga last week to set up the Hunter vs. Carlito match at the PPV. Backstage, Todd Grisham interviewed Carlito about the PPV match. Carlito said he's not worried about facing Hunter because Hunter last week only proved what he can do with a sledgehammer in his hands. He said he would have a surprise for Hunter tonight.

[Commercial Break]

Ross and Lawler hyped Jeff Hardy vs. Khali tonight, then Triple H's music hit. He did the bathroom-break-opportunity ring entrance that's beginning to rival Undertaker for length of time. Hunter's music stopped and he soaked up the cheers before Shelton Benjamin's music hit and he walked out with Carlito. Hunter smirked and wasn't impressed with Shelton. Ross went back a couple of years to when Shelton picked up a few surprise wins over Hunter. Seems like an eternity ago.

2 -- TRIPLE H vs. SHELTON BENJAMIN (w/Carlito)

Hunter quickly ran over Shelton with power offense before chucking Shelton shoulder-first into the corner ringpost. Hunter focused his attack on the shoulder, then he went to the outside to talk smack to Carlito. Shelton tried to surprise Hunter with a baseball slide kick, but Hunter moved and chucked Shelton over the announce table into Carlito's lap. They cut to a break.

[Q4]

[Commercial Break]

Back from break, Koko B. Ware had Hunter in a chinlock on the mat. Hunter tried a comeback, but Shelton answered with a lift-up DDT for a nearfall. Hunter then missed a clothesline and Shelton hit a flying fist smash for a nearfall. Suddenly, Hunter lambasted Shelton with a clothesline off the ropes and both men recovered on the mat. They exchanged right hand blows, then Hunter clotheslined Shelton hard in the corner. Shelton walked into a spinebuster, then Carlito scampered to the ring apron to distract Hunter. It didn't work, though. Shelton missed a corner splash, then Hunter hit the Pedigree for the win.

After the match, Carlito tried to smash Hunter with a chair, but Hunter easily stole the chair and Carlito scampered up the entrance ramp. He retreated to the stage, then Coach came out and changed the Hunter vs. Carlito match at Unforgiven. He said it's No DQ, but for Carlito only. Carlito can use any weapon he wants, but Hunter can't use any weapon. Hunter wasn't that impressed by the additional stipulation.

WINNER: Hunter in 8:00. They could give Carlito a gun and tie both hands behind Hunter's back and they still wouldn't be able to stack the deck against Hunter. Anyone with 10 seconds of wrestling knowledge knows Carlito has no chance of being booked to win. Match was good for TV. Shelton didn't exactly get a rub, but at least he was in the ring with the wrestler WWE is building up the top star in the company. (*1/4)

Backstage, an SUV pulled up and Security surrounded the vehicle.

[Commercial Break]

With one win under their belts Green Bay Packers players were ringside whooping it up. Ths show officially gets a thumbs down from Wade now.

Randy Orton came to the ring just before the top of the second hour. They showed footage of John Cena choking the life out of William Regal last week.

[Q5]

Orton soaked up the boos then began a promo about Cena. He said Cena's probably home watching Raw with his banged-up father. Orton said the lights are dimmed down and the volume is probably turned down because Cena's father's head is throbbing. Orton said Unforgiven is the one-year anniversary of when Cena became WWE champion on this most recent title reign. He said Cena became champion when he was focused and had a clear head. Orton said things are different this time because things are personal now. He said he's going to take advantage of Cena's lack of focus and become the next WWE champion. Suddenly, the crowd popped and Orton paused. They showed Cena running down the top of the stands and over the guardrail to the ring. Orton screamed at security to do their job. Orton and Cena had a brief brawl, then Orton bailed as the pink-shirted security guards held Cena back. Couldn't they have picked any other color but salmonish-pink? Cena screamed in agony as Security formed a wall preventing Cena from running after Orton.

Backstage, Vince screamed at Coach for not doing his job and keeping Cena out of the building. Vince said he could throw Cena out anytime he wants. Suddenly, Security and Cena came running backstage. They tried to hold Cena back while Vince parted the pink sea and stood toe-to-toe with Cena. Cena quickly cut Vince off by saying he loves his father like Vince loved his father, so Vince should understand where he's coming from. Cena channeled Russell Crowe from Gladiator as he said Orton's blood will run at the PPV. Vince remained silent. Cena circled it back to defending his father and told him, "Vince, that's something even you can understand." He left under his own will. Damn.

[Commercial Break]

Candice Michelle came to the ring with the Women's Title in hand. That's a tiny bikini top. She joined Lawler and Ross ringside after they plugged Candice's match against Beth Phoenix at the PPV. Mickie James, sporting a new hair look, came to the ring to face Beth Phoenix. There's something missing without Daivari singing back up with Jillian.

3 -- MICKIE JAMES vs. JILLIAN HALL

Candice talked about Beth Phoenix having a 50-pound weight advantage over her going into the PPV. Mickie dropped Jillian with a neckbreaker for a nearfall in the opening minute. Jillian then caught Mickie in the corner with the electric chair for a nearfall. She screamed in frustration before using her faux assets to subdue Mickie. Mickie shook off the boob rub and nailed a kick to the face for the win.

After the match, Beth Phoenix hit the ring and attacked Mickie from behind. She cleared the ring of Mickie and Jillian before doing the belt-around-the-waist motion. Candice charged the ring and delivered right hand blows before Beth kicked her in the gut and landed her fisherman suplex finisher. Beth left the ring while the ref checked on Candice.

WINNER: Mickie in 2:00. Predictably too short to amount to much. Serviceable build-up to Candice vs. Beth to show Candice at a disadvantage heading into the PPV. (1/2*)

[Q6]

[Commercial Break]

Santino Marella came to the ring dressed to wrestle. Ross said he's medically cleared to wrestle after taking cane shots from Sandman last week. Santino's mic wouldn't work, but he eventually cut a promo about Pavarotti dying this week. He said he's glad Pavarotti died before Steve Austin in The Condemnded came out on DVD. Cheap, shameless, yet classic heel plug of a babyface merchandise item. He said he doesn't understand people putting cheese on their fries and a-watchin-a Hollywood movies. Sandman's music interrupted and Santino (purposely?) messed up the "fool me once, shame on you" line. Sandman then hit the ring and the bell sounded.

4 -- THE SANDMAN vs. SANTINO MARELLA

They cut backstage where Ron Simmons and Maria were watching the match on a monitor. Sandman sold a left-leg injury a minute into the match, and Santino tried to take advantage, but Sandman punched him through the ropes to the outside. Sandman then hit a tumbling dive over the top rope to the floor. Santino picked up the Cane and tried to use the Cane, but Sandman moved. The ref called for the bell anyways. They scrambled into the ring and Santino missed again before trying to snap the Cane over his leg ala a baseball player snapping a bat over his leg. Santino sold it like he injured himself, then Sandman took a wild swing a miss with the remnants of the Cane. The train wreck ended with Santino scrambling up the ramp to the back.

WINNER: Sandman via DQ in 3:00. One of those throwaway moments on the show usually reserved for the mid-point of the second hour. (n/a)

[Commercial Break]

Backstage, Maria tried to talk to Ron Simmons about her and Santino seeing other people, but Santino snuck up behind them and threw Simmons into a group of empty drums. Santino grabbed Maria by the hand and shouted, "Damn!" at Simmons. They left Simmons gasping for air.

[Q7]

They showed footage from the Diva Search finalists. They definitely look classier than in previous years. More athletic backgrounds, too. Ringside, Lawler tried to cool himself off with his crown.

Great Khali came to the ring for his match against Jeff Hardy.

[Commercial Break]

They recapped Khali squeezing the life out of Rey Mysterio on Smackdown this past week. Jeff Hardy then came to the ring for the main event match.

5 -- World Hvt. champion GREAT KHALI (w/Translator Guy) vs. IC champion JEFF HARDY -- non-title match

Jeff tried to slap Khali across the chest in the opening seconds, but Khali shoved him away to the corner. Khali then ran over Jeff with a hard clothesline and Jeff tried to answer with a Whisper in the Wind, but he only brushed Khali's leg. Khali nailed Jeff with a back leg swipe, then he went for the Claw. Jeff dropped to both knees as Khali squeezed Jeff's head like a tomato. Khali let go of Jeff's head then placed his boot on Jeff for the easy three count. Afterward, Batista hit the ring and cleared Khali from the ring. Batista stood tall in the ring while Khali retreated.

WINNER: Khali in 3:00. Déjà vu. Hardy wins the IC Title belt, then the very first match he has after winning the belt, he gets squashed. Unbelievable. Yes, Jeff can rebound, but they had another chance to rebuild Jeff as a major superstar for this company, but they opted for the bodybuilder-sized wrestler to get the babyface shine. (n/a)

[Q8]

They showed Vince and Coach walking backstage toward the ring.

[Commercial Break]

Vince's music hit and he walked out with The Coach. Jamie Noble then led out the majority of the male wrestlers on the roster. Time for a Wellness discussion. Or not. Vince stood ringside and watched the various wrestlers walk to ringside to size up the potential candidates for his son. Triple H brought up the rear as the last male out. Vince and Coach stood in the ring, then Vince surveyed the carny acts looking up to him. Vince said one of these men is privileged to be his bastard son. He told attorney Johnson to show up and make the announcement. Johnson showed up on the Titantron and pulled out a list of clues from the mother. Clue #1: the son is not extreme. Vince told the ECW wrestlers to hit the road. Vince said thank God it's not Balls Mahoney. Clue #2: the son has a fondness for gold. Well, that rules out Dustin Rhodes. Coach took it as Vince's son is a champion. Vince sent everyone away who hasn't worn title gold. Clue #3: The son's skin is fair. Vince said if you're not Caucasian, then leave. He sent MVP, Mark Henry, and Shelton Benjamin away. Ross interjected: "Al Sharpton just exhaled." Vince then told everyone remaining to get in the ring. Clue #4: The son's skin is fair, as is his hair. He told everyone with blonde hair to stick around. It's like black-out bingo. So, we're down to JBL, Kenny, Murdoch, Cade, Sandman, and Hunter. The fans chanted for Kennedy, then Vince said he's already said before that Kennedy has been suspended... for impersonating a McMahon.

[Q9 -- over-run]

Clue #5: the son is an individual. Cade and Murdoch then left the ring. So, it's JBL, Hunter, and Sandman. Clue #6: the son loves to play the game. Hunter paced around the ring as Vince stood at the mat. JBL and Sandman slowly left the ring, then Vince and Hunter stared at each other. Vince began to explain Hunter being married to Stephanie, but Hunter cut him off and said he doesn't like this any more than him. Johnson then came on the screen again and said the son likes to play the game, as evidenced by Smackdown this past Friday. See, everyone who sat through Smackdown wins a prize! He said the son likes to play all sorts of games, including marbles. He then said the son is... Hornswoggle. Vince's expression dropped, Hunter started laughing, then Hornswoggle popped out from under the ring and jumped in the ring. He started dancing circles around Vince to his generic Irish music. Lawler and Ross broke down the clues as they relate to Vince, who kind of slumped down in his suit without moving. He remained stunned while Horsnwoggle and his half-brother-in-law laughed at Vince's expense. Ross said he couldn't believe that Vince's "grapefruits could produce a Hornswoggle." They closed with Hornswoggle slapping his hat on Vince's head to cover Vince's eyes. Oh, darn, there's a PPV in six days they forgot to promote at the end of the show. Oh well.

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