TV REPORTS CALDWELL'S WWE RAW REPORT 9/17: Ongoing virtual time coverage of live Raw
Sep 17, 2007 - 10:09:20 PM
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By James Caldwell, Torch columnist
WWE Raw Live Report
September 10 in Nashville, Tenn.
The show started with a recap of the John Cena vs. Randy Orton feud, culminating with John Cena's father kicking Orton in the head at the PPV last night.
Live in the arena, Cena's music hit and he walked out to the ring with his WWE Title belt in hand. He was all-smiles tonight. His music stopped and the boos showered down on Cena. He acknowledged that some people are a little upset with Cena, who hasn't been himself lately. He said he has a lot of pent up aggression and he's sorry. Cena said tonight is different, though, because he feels great. Fabulous even. He said everything is going to be OK...because he lost to Randy Orton last night. He thanked his dad for showing up last night and then making him the proudest son on the face of the earth. Cena gave an important thank you to Orton, who made him put in perspective what's important in his life. He said Orton has also been stupid enough to think his father was an intentional distraction last night to help him get intentionally DQ'ed and Orton is stupid enough to want a re-match. Cena gave another thank you to Jonathan Coachman for agreeing to the title re-match. He said at No Mercy, it will be Cena vs. Orton in a Last Man Standing match. He recapped what that entails. He said what he did last night at Unforgiven is perfectly legal at the next PPV. That doesn't get everyone their $40 back.
Before Cena could finish, Coach's music hit and he walked out on stage. He said Cena should be thanking him for still having a job and the WWE Title. Coach said he doesn't want to do that, though, because he wants to see Orton get revenge on Cena. Coach then booked Cena vs. Orton for tonight. Coach said that's not enough, though. He said he met with Cena's father this morning, and he begged and pleaded with Coach not to strip Cena of the belt. Coach said pops would do anything to prevent Cena from being stripped, so it's Randy Orton vs. Mr. Cena tonight. John shook his head in disgust while Coach smiled with personal satisfaction.
[Commercial Break]
Ross and Lawler talked ringside about the Mr. Cena developments, then plugged Vince McMahon and Hornswoggle having a short meeting tonight.
[Q2]
Jeff Hardy came out to defend the IC Title belt and Ross talked about being surprised to see Hardy out here after Khali squashed his head last week. Shelton Benjamin then came out to challenge for the belt.
1 -- JEFF HARDY vs. SHELTON BENJAMIN -- Intercontinental Title match
They went through a back-and-forth exchange before Jeff knocked Shelton to the outside. He then went for a customary pre-commercial plancha on Shelton to have early momentum.
[Commercial Break]
Back from break, Shelton was in control with a mat hold. He cut off Jeff's comeback before settling into a ground-based attack. Jeff started another comeback and went for the Twist of Fate, but Shelton countered into a back breaker across his knee. Shelton then hit a Russian legsweep for a close nearfall. Jeff went for a suplex, but Shelton again countered, this time with a reverse DDT for a nearfall. Jeff then went up top, but Shelton did the cat-leap to meet him. He went for a superplex, but Jeff shoved him down and hit the Swanton Bomb for the win. Afterward, Ross and Lawler put over Hardy's resiliency after taking a beating last week.
WINNER: Jeff Hardy in 13:00 to retain the IC Title. Nice rebound victory for Jeff after being squashed last week. Let's see if they can put together a string of three or four weeks of strong booking for Jeff as champion. Hot finish after solid in-ring action. (**)
[Q3]
They aired a video package on the Diva Search contestants playing volleyball in bikinis. Blondes vs. brunettes in Jerry Lawler's dream world. Todd Grisham did a voice-over on WWE.com being the exclusive home for the diva search.
Backstage, they cut to Vince McMahon sitting in his limo pouting. Coach stormed into the limo and told McMahon to come out and play. McMahon said he's only concerned with his feelings of embarrassment. Coach said he has a plan set to make sure McMahon never has to worry about anything again. They panned out to show Hornswoggle munching on a box of Lucky Charms while taped up inside an infant's chair. McMahon told Coach that it's the law to have some sort of restraint for an infant. Hornswoggle tried to break free from the chair, then McMahon shoved him out the limo door with Coach. McMahon kicked the infant's chair away in frustration.
Get this, they've booked Triple H vs. the tag champions Cade & Murdoch in a handicap match tonight. We're back to 2006 where Hunter > entire tag division.
[Commercial Break]
Backstage, Mr. Cena talked to John Cena about fighting Orton tonight. Pops told his son that he has to fight tonight.
On the other side of the arena, Santino Marella pounded on the diva's locker room door and demanded to see Maria. Jillian Hall emerged and told Santino that Maria doesn't want to see him anymore. Santino dejectedly said he used to pleasure himself to that woman, which grossed out the live audience. Jillian then suggested they sing a duet tonight since they're in Nashville. Santino had other ideas and left Jillian in mid-sentence.
On the far other side of the arena, they showed Vince McMahon and Coach walking around looking for Hornswoggle, who got away. Suddenly, there was loud generic cartoon music in the hallway. McMahon walked into his office to find all sorts of green decorations and boxes of Lucky Charms stacked against the wall. They showed a Notre Dame Fighting Irish logo on the wall. Not a good week for that. McMahon told Coach to find Hornswoggle now. Suddenly, Hornsowggle popped out behind his CW Title belt and threw decorations at Coach and McMahon. Coach then chased Hornswoggle out of the office into the hallway. Suddenly, a small horse with a pole attached to its forehead appeared off camera and nudged up against McMahon. It's a makeshift unicorn. And the generic music continued to play into break.
[Q4]
[Commercial Break]
Unbelievable. They're doing a flag match where Daivari, who has been billed as being from Detroit and is from Minnesota, is representing Iran. And Hacksaw Duggan is representing democratic Iraq. OK, he's representing the U.S.
2 -- DAIVARI vs. HACKSAW JIM DUGGAN -- flag match
Daivari tried to scale his corner to grab the Iranian flag, but Hacksaw quickly pulled him down. Daivari tried to work on the knee, but Hacksaw shook him off and scaled the USA corner. Daivri met him up top and they exchanged right hands before Hacksaw rammed Daivari into the pole, knocking him to the floor. Hacksaw then grabbed the flag to win.
WINNER: Hacksaw Duggan in 2:00. Completely random match where someone must have been feeling patriotic over the weekend. Of course, this could be a set-up for Iron Sheik to start a program. (n/a)
Backstage, Cody Rhodes asked Coach if he could face Orton tonight since Orton kicked his dad in the head. Coach told him they would let him know if his services are needed tonight. Cody dejectedly walked away, then Coach rolled his eyes. Suddenly, John Cena met Coach and told him to call off the Orton vs. Mr. Cena match or else he would face some serious consequences. Coach said he forgot to tell him that he's in action tonight. Coach said that if Cena wins his match, then Orton vs. Mr. Cena will not take place. He said that if Cena loses, then his father will wrestle Orton. Coach told John that his dad's fate is in his hands.
[Commercial Break]
[Q5]
Vince McMahon walked out looking quite upset and Ross said McMahon is smiling as much as Charlie Weis these days. McMahon said he doesn't want people to think he's ashamed of his son, so he's going to welcome his son into his family. Hornswoggle then danced out and McMahon cracked a smile. McMahon become agitated when Hornswoggle wouldn't stop dancing, then he said he has something to say to him. He got down on one knee and addressed Hornswoggle face-to-face. McMahon said that when he dies - well, if he dies - Hornswoggle is going to come into a lot of money. McMahon said it's not all about money; it's about love and compassion. He said it's not just about money, so he's going to open his heart to Hornswoggle and put him up for adoption. Hornswoggle didn't agree, so McMahon screamed it out. McMahon then brought out Alice and Ed Koskie as the new parents.
A random couple and a generic attorney walked out with the Koskies to sign the paperwork. McMahon said it's a very special moment for everyone. Mr. Koskie said they've been waiting years for a little boy. McMahon then shoved Hornswoggle into Mr. Koskie for a big hug, then Hornswoggle pantsed his father and gave him a big splash. (McMahon probably had a chuckle thinking of the writer Ed Koskie.) Mr. Koskie pulled up his pants and rolled out of the ring, then Hornswoggle gave Mrs. Koskie a shark bite on the back side. She scrammed with her husband and left in fear. McMahon then cut a promo on Hornswoggle. He screamed at him to get out of his life and go back into hiding. Hornswoggle rolled out of the ring and started to cry, then the fans let McMahon have it with boos and an asshole chant. He said there isn't a person in the audience who wouldn't have done the same thing. McMahon said a man of his distinction... Triple H's music interrupted before McMahon could continue.
Hunter walked out dressed to wrestle and he approached McMahon with a non-approving look on his face. McMahon asked what he's doing out here, then he screamed at Hunter and the fans when Hunter wouldn't answer. McMahon said he was about to have a tender moment with his son, but Hunter interrupted. Hunter said he went through a lot of trouble today decorating McMahon's office. McMahon did the big eyes of shock look. He then asked McMahon if he realizes how hard it is to find a unicorn in Nashville. Cheap pop. Hunter said he understands that McMahon is upset because he's the genetic jackhammer, but along the way, McMahon had a little too much Jack...Daniels, he forgot to jack...off, and now he's the genetic jack...ass. Hunter said he's surprised McMahon didn't see this coming, as McMahon has a microscopic penis. How would he know? McMahon, agitated asked if he's finished. Hunter said that's the same line Hornswoggle's mom used when McMahon slipped her the shillelagh. He then wanted to know if McMahon nailed Hornswoggle's mom on the yellow brick road or in Smurf village. More penis jokes from Hunter, which irritated McMahon. He said he's done fooling around and has one more serious question. Hunter asked if Hornsowggle's mom was magically delicious. McMahon nodded his head slightly to answer yes, which took Hunter aback. McMahon then reminded Hunter that he has bigger problems, as he's in a match right now. McMahon brought out the tag champions to face Hunter, who didn't look impressed.
[Commercial Break]
[Q6]
3 -- TRIPLE H vs. WWE tag champions CADE & MURDOCH -- handicap match
They joined the match in progress and Hunter landed a double-clothesline out of the break, then cleared both men to the floor. Carlito walked out on stage to watch the match, which distracted Hunter. Cade caught Hunter with a swinging neckbreaker, then the tag champs started double-teaming Hunter. Hunter quickly dumped Murdoch over the top rope to the floor, then he caught Cade with a spinebuster for the pin and the win.
Afterward, Carlito and Murdoch ganged up Hunter before Cade shook off the finish and tried to make it a triple beating. Kendrick and London then made the save and cleared the tag champions. Carlito was left alone in the ring, then he turned around and found a right hand blow to the face. Hunter dropped him with a spinebuster, then Carlito rolled out of the ring. London and Kendrick then re-entered the ring and patted Hunter on the back. He wasn't sure what to make of it. They did their top rope flips and shook hands with Hunter, who was all-smiles. He then snapped on the New Rockers and gave them each a Pedigree. Of course, the fans popped for Hunter. He then gave one of those "I couldn't help myself" shrugs and innocent looks toward the announce table.
WINNER: Hunter in 5:00 of TV time. I would list the dates of the tag division on a tombstone, but we all know the tag division has been dead for a while. It's just dirt on the grave and Hunter dancing on the tombstone. It's easy for Hunter and the writers to justify it as a means to the end of Hunter getting over as the top star in the company to save the weak PPV division down the road. (*1/4)
[Commercial Break]
[Q7]
Beth Phoenix was ringside subtly twisting around in her black outfit. She did not look happy. They recapped Candice Michelle pulling out the victory against Beth last night at the PPV to retain the Women's Title.
4 -- MELINA & JILLIAN HALL vs. Women's champion CANDICE MICHELLE & MICKIE JAMES
The heel divas took turns working on Mickie James in the early going, then Melina accidentally shoved Mickie into Candice's hand for a tag. Candice came in and drop kicked Melina before hitting a back drop for a nearfall. Jillian then took a tag and Candice surprised her with the Unprettier for the win. Afterward, Beth ran into the ring with the Women's Title and shoved the belt into Candice's stomach before pushing her back.
WINNERS: Candice & Mickie in 3:00. Not much to it. Short and to the point to continue the Candice vs. Beth feud with the finish and post-match. (1/2*)
[Commercial Break]
They aired a video package hyping the DVD release of The Condemned.
Backstage, Vince McMahon and Coach walked in the parking garage area. McMahon wanted to make sure the Cena opponent deal was done. He also wanted to know about Hornswoggle. Coach said no one has seen Hornswoggle since the in-ring segment. He said McMahon might have scarred him for life. McMahon smiled and Coach said they would see him at the wedding. McMahon hopped in his black limo and it took off, but not before Hornswoggle popped out in the trunk and waved at Coach before slamming the trunk back down. Coach, apparently without McMahon's phone number handy, stood by helplessly as the limo pulled away.
[Q8]
[Commercial Break]
Ross and Lawler announced Hunter vs. Carlito in a steel cage match next week. John Cena's music then hit and he stormed out for his match against a mystery opponent. After Cena's music stopped, it was Santino Marella's music and Cena laughed.
5 -- WWE champion JOHN CENA vs. -- non-title match
Cena quickly went on the attack and had the FU on Santino less than a minute into the match, but Randy Orton stormed into the ring and attacked Cena from behind, giving Cena a DQ win.
WINNER: Cena via DQ in 1:00. (n/a)
Orton laid into Cena with right hand blows after the match, then handcuffed him to the corner ropes. Ross and Lawler were dumbfounded as to why Orton would cause a DQ to give Cena the win. Coach then came out and pulled an Eric Bischoff by adding more stipulations to the Cena match. He said he forgot to tell Cena that he had to win his match by pinfall or submission for Mr. Cena not to wrestle. Coach said Orton vs. Mr. Cena would be next. Orton slowly walked up the entrance ramp to the backstage area as they cut to a break.
[Commercial Break]
Cena was still handcuffed to the bottom rope back from break. Orton's music hit, then Orton re-emerged for the official main event match. John and Randy stared down each other with Randy smirking at what was to come. Lillian Garcia announced Mr. Cena, who slowly walked out in a track suit without music. John tried to grab his hand before he entered the ring, but Mr. Cena shook him off and entered the ring.
[Q9 -- over-run]
6 -- RANDY ORTON vs. MR. CENA (w/John Cena handcuffed ringside)
Orton stalked Mr. Cena, then grabbed him by the head and clutched him before landing a knee to the gut. Orton started to stomp Mr. Cena while John told him to take it out on him, not his father. Suddenly, Cody Rhodes hit the ring and went after Orton to cause the match to be thrown out. Orton then tossed Cody over the top rope to the floor and he followed out on the outside to throw Cody hard into the ring steps. Back in the ring, Orton gave Mr. Cena an RKO in center ring while John tried desperately to break free of the cuffs. John managed to unhook the bottom turnbuckle, then he dragged himself and the bottom rope across the ring to send Orton scurrying out of the ring. John stood over his father's fallen body while Orton stood on the entrance ramp with a killer look on his face. The announcers laid out, while the fans provided the audio with a chant of, "You can't wrestle". They closed with John and Randy continuing to stare each other down.
WINNER: Orton via DQ in 3:00. All storyline here with some good writing. Really good at moments to sell a PPV, but the live TV aspect hurt the final 15 seconds with the Cena-hating chant. It was a good idea on paper to have the announcers go silent to have the wrestlers tell the story in the ring, but in hindsight, a Jim Ross call over the chants would have been the better decision to close the show. (n/a)
We welcome your 1-10 score and comments on this show for a "Raw Reax" feature in the Torch Feedback section of PWTorch.com. To contribute your thoughts on Raw, click here.
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