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TV Reports
9/24 WWE Raw Review: von Richter's "alt perspective" report on tonight's show
Sep 24, 2007 - 11:57:55 PM


Tony von Richter, PWTorch Raw Specialist

Coach is in the ring and has an announcement that will adversely affect the career of Randy Orton. He then shows a video highlighting how Coach set up the Last Man Standing match at No Mercy and then the events of last week between John Cena, Orton, and Cena's father.

Coach says that he had no idea that Orton was going to use handcuffs last week, so he has suspended Orton indefinitely. Coach says that he has security out there because unlike William Regal he won't allow Cena to take his anger out on him or any other authority figure, especially this man. With that Mr. McMahon struts his way down to the ring.

Vince says that Coach is right and that people such as themselves should be respected for their positions, their power, and their wisdom. He says that one man spits in the face of respect: Triple H. He says that Triple H always embarrasses him and that he took perverse pleasure in Hornswoggle being named Vince's son. Vince says that stops tonight. He says that he will hurt Triple H where it hurts the most; in the win-loss column. He says that the cage match tonight will be a handicap match with Carlito teaming up with Mr. McMahon. Vince says that tonight Triple H will be embarrassed, Vince will win the match, and he guarantees it. He says that he didn't embarrass himself last week but he does owe one man an apology, his son Hornswoggle.

The newest McMahon makes his way to the ring and dances around before grabbing Vince's leg. Vince says he owes him an apology. Last week he really didn't mean that he was embarrassed by him being his son. All Vince needed was some love, which Hornswoggle says he does, and Vince loves him back. Vince says that as a McMahon he has great power, the power to make decisions. He says that since he's been a McMahon the ladies are after him, one lady in particular. Melina.

Melina heads to the ring with a huge smile on her face, before telling Hornswoggle that he's cute and she wants to get to know him better. Does he want to get to know her better? Hornswoggle looks to the crowd before tackling Melina, which makes Vince tell Coach to get him off her. Once the two are pulled apart Vince tells them to go have a beer and have a good night. He reminds Hornswoggle to remember what he said about the birds and the bees, and to always use protection.

Coach says that was wonderful. He has a favour to ask though. He says that Regal is due back next week, but Vince should make Coach the full time GM. Before Vince can answer Cena heads down the ramp while Coach asks him why he's out there. Cena starts throwing chairs into the ring and tackles Coach and Vince to the mat. Security pulls him off and Coach and Vince escape.

Furious, Vince says that he should strip him of the title right now. He says that Cena will surrender the championship tonight, and he'll learn that he shouldn't lay a hand on people of authority, but it's up to Coach whether Cena keeps the title or not.

[Commercials]

We're back showing Vince telling Cena that he'll surrender the title tonight.

1. CODY RHODES vs. HARDCORE HOLLY

Before the match, Holly tells Rhodes that with his name he should be in a boy band, not a ring, and if he wants his respect he'll have to earn it. The match starts with Rhodes in control and working over Holly's arm before getting a two count via sunset flip. Hardcore takes control with a clothesline and begins chopping Rhodes in the corner. Rhodes eventually regains control with a side Russian leg sweep and gets a one count. Rhodes continues with dropkicks and crossbodys to maintain momentum. He tries for a springboard crossbody and Holly steps out of the way. Holly hits the Alabama Slam for the win.

WINNER: Hardcore Holly via pinfall. Decent match, Rhodes still looks a little green however.

[Commercials]

We're back with footage of Austin's Condemned DVD signing at Rockefellar Centre last week.

JR and King discuss Orton's suspension but show some pre-recorded comments of his from earlier today.

Orton says he wants to congratulate John Cena on being the biggest phony in WWE history. He says that he got himself intentionally DQ'd at Unforgiven, and that it was the coward's way out. He says don't let Cena convince people that he lost it in the heat of battle, he say his year-long title reign coming to an end and he took the easy way out. He says that competing is what he does, but things are turning around. Orton enjoyed beating up Cena's father last Monday. He says Cena better get used to the feeling of usefulness since at No Mercy it's Last Man Standing. He wants Cena to bring his dad to Raw next week. He won't be denied, he will be victorious, he will be champion, and he will be the Last Man Standing.

Santino Marella and Maria make their way to the ring and JR says that Santino will face Ron Simmons next!

[Commercials]

WWE Rewind showing Santino's attack on Ron Simmons a few weeks ago.

2. SANTINO MARELLA vs. RON SIMMONS


Simons controls the match early with some basic punches. Santino bails out of the ring and leads Simmons back in and kicks him to gain the advantage. Santino continues to work over Simmons back with forearms. After a minute or two Simmons fires back with two shoulder blocks and as he sets up for the Dominator Santino slips out of the ring and grabs Maria before heading to the back.

WINNER: Ron Simmons via count-out. Short match, and Simmons looked a little rusty (who could blame him) but it told a decent story of Santino being afraid of Simmons and not wanting to face him.

After the match Simmons says DAMN! to celebrate his victory.

[Commercials]

We get a recap of the latest Diva Search event: limbo.

Melina is backstage using her phone when Jillian asks where Melina's boyfriend is. Jillian says it's disgusting; she'll ruin her reputation. Melina wants to know if Jillian can keep a secret. Melina says that if she goes out with Hornswoggle she'll get a women's title shot. She says she'll have to take fifteen showers to get his funk off her. She tells Jillian she'll call her later and tell her all about the date.

Cade & Murdoch are talking backstage when the Highlanders walk in. At this point the sound went out on my TV, so I'm not exactly sure what they were talking about, but I think it was about a title shot.

Back ringside, the cage is lowering as JR and King talk about Vince adding himself to the match.

3. TRIPLE H vs. CARLITO & MR. McMAHON

Carlito and Vince try to corner Triple H at the start of the match before Triple H attacks Carlito. Vince tries to escape via the cage door. After he's cut off, he tries to escape over the top and stands on the top rope, Triple H shakes him down and Vince lands awkwardly and subtly clutched his leg afterwards. Carlito regains control as we go to break.

[Commercials]

Carlito and Triple H are trading blows in the centre of the ring as Vince leans over the top rope looking in pain. Triple H knocks Carlito down and rams Vince back into the cage a few times and throws Carlito in to him. Triple H goes for a Pedigree on McMahon but Carlito hits the Backstabber allowing McMahon to nearly escape through the cage door, but Triple H drags him back in.

Carlito has Triple H in the corner while Vince tries to escape in the other corner. He ends up sitting on the top of the cage with Triple H punching him and Carlito trying to pull Triple H down. H knocks Carlito off the ropes but it's too late and Vince escapes the cage to win the match.

WINNERS: Carlito & Mr. McMahon. Good TV match. Not one that you'd go out of your way to see, but a good match to be on Raw.

After the match Vince heads up the ramp but Triple H realizes Carlito is still in the cage with him and throws him into the cage multiple times causing Carlito to bleed from his forehead. After another couple of throws into the cage, Triple H delivers a spinebuster to Carlito and makes his way out of the ring. But it looks like The Game isn't done as he grabs a chair a goes to bash Carlito with it before dropping the chair to the mat. He then decides to Pedigree Carlito onto the chair instead.

[Commercials]

4. WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS LANCE CADE & TREVOR MURDOCH vs. PAUL LONDON & BRIAN KENDRICK

We join the match in progress with Cade & Murdoch in control. Murdoch applies an abdominal stretch before London fights out and hits a hurrancanrana and takes in Kendrick who hits a springboard dropkick. After a two count the referee loses control and all four men hit the ring. As London hits a twisting plancha to the outside, Kendrick hits Sliced Bread # 2 but before he can get the pinfall the Highlanders attack London & Kendrick to end the match.

WINNERS: I think London & Kendrick via DQ, there was no official announcement. I know myself and others say it almost every week, but London & Kendrick could be worth so much more if they would just get the time to do so.

Backstage Melina is in the shower where Hornswoggle waits outside and puts a towel on his head to stay hidden. Melina sees him and screams then Hornswoggle chases her around the arena before stealing her towel.

[Commercials]

Vince is backstage when Coach enters and wants to tell him that Triple H is looking for him. Vince doesn't care, he's got H's number now. After Coach leaves Vince returns to packing his bag, but with more vigor.

A Condemned video package airs, but this time there were comments from Santino interspersed, the best being "I think I would have made a better Jack Conrad. If there's one person with more charisma than Stone Cold Steve Austin, it's Santino Marella."

After the video package JR and King show the end of the cage match and discuss Triple H losing his undefeated record since returning.

Backstage Vince tries to leave his room, but Triple H confronts him and says that if Vince thinks he can beat him it should be the two of them next week on Raw. Vince says that he's on, and Triple H replies that Vince is screwed.

[Commercials]

Raw Rewind – Jeff Hardy defeating Shelton Benjamin from last week.

5. JEFF HARDY & WWE WOMEN"S CHAMPION CANDICE MICHELLE vs. SHELTON BENJAMIN & BETH PHOENIX

Jeff and Shelton start off the mixed tag exchanging offense before Hardy knocks him out of the ring. Beth Phoenix tries to knock Hardy down but Candice cuts her off. Following which Candice hits a cross body onto Beth and Jeff hits one on Shelton and then we go to break.

[Commercials]

We're back and Beth has both of Candice's arms locked behind her back. Candice fights out and Beth takes out to Shelton, allowing Jeff to come in. Hardy hits the Whisper in the Wind to retain control of the match. Following a powerbomb Shelton gets a two count and proceeds to apply a chinlock. Jeff eventually makes the tag to Candice who hits a hurracanrana and poetry in motion with Hardy. Beth hits Candice from behind and drops Candice with her vertical fisherman's suplex for the victory.

WINNERS: Shelton Benjamin & Beth Phoenix. Good match, Candice has really improved this year, and has earned her spot on the card.

Coach is surrounded by media backstage and he has a statement. He says that we could be seeing the end of Cena's title reign in a few minutes. He also says that Orton was suspended, but only for one day, since he loved what Orton did to Cena's father. He hopes that wherever he is, Cena's father is watching tonight.

A weird video airs with a bunch of computer-code like numbers scrolling over the screen, with the message save_us.222 popping up numerous times. Intriguing.

[Commercials]

JR says that next week Mr. McMahon vs. Triple H has been signed.

As Coach stands in the ring with security we see footage of Vince announcing this segment. Coach says that for the record John Cena brought this on himself. Coach orders Cena to the ring. John Cena makes his way to the ring, as serious and intense as he has been for the past few weeks.

Coach tells Cena to relax, and how it would be a shame to lose it all this way. He says that because of arrogance he's brought this on himself. He wants Cena to beg to keep his title and he might let him. Coach asks what's it going to be. Cena responds by taking off his shirt and looking to fight. Coach says that he has no choice; he'll be a former champion. Saying we could do it the easy way, rather than the hard way. Coach tries to strip the title off Cena but the ring bell rings a couple of times. Lillian says that she has received an important message from Mr. McMahon and Cena will not be stripped of the title. In fact a main event will take place right now, with Cena taking on Jonathan Coachman in a tables match.

6. JOHN CENA vs. JONATHAN COACHMAN

He makes short work of Coach and F-U's him through a table for the victory.

WINNER: John Cena

After the match, Hornswoggle is on the ramp and John Cena grabs the mic and says thank you to 'Mr. McMahon.'

Raw Quick Hits

Match of the Night: Triple H vs. Carlito & Mr. McMahon – A good TV match, nothing spectacular but it was an enjoyable match.

Promo of the Night: Santino Marella on the Condemned DVD – Not a traditional promo, but Santino was great here, and his line about having more charisma than Austin was excellent.

Segment of the Night: Opening segment – I'm not sure what it was, but this was a good segment. I liked the large amount of characters they managed to fit in and all of them fit logically which was also nice.

What we need to see more of: save_us.222 – What was that? What did it mean? When it first started I assumed it was for Cyber Sunday, but I don't think that's the case. Hopefully this is the start of a good angle or new character (I jokingly said to my brother that it could be the Age of the Fall, which while not true would be sweet) because it seems a little different than what WWE has done in the past.

What we don't need to see again: Anti-authority figure segments – Even though there are new characters playing the roles it seems like the same storylines are happening over and over again. In fact when Cena charged the ring to take on security my brother exclaimed "oh look, it's 1999." Definitely not the reaction you want from your fans.

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