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WWE Raw Live Report
November 5 in Los Angeles, Calif.

The show opened with In Memory for Fabulous Moolah.

They opened with wide camera shots of the Staples Center as Jim Ross introduced the show. 50/50 shot on some sort of writers strike reference tonight on the show. DX's music then hit and the crowd popped. Shawn Michaels came out in a cowboy hat while Triple H came out in a baseball cap to shill some merchandise. The announcers went silent as DX played to the crowd in the ring. Ross and Lawler then came back on to talk about DX reuniting tonight, as if their program with the Spirit Squad and McMahon never happened last year. DX's music stopped and they proceeded to build up the crowd anticipation several times.

Hunter opened saying it's one night only, then asked LA if they're ready. Suddenly, Hornswoggle's music interrupted before Hunter could finish his Michael Buffer intro. Horny snuck into the ring and promoted NBC's green theme to go along with DX's green color scheme. He chased Michaels around the ring, then Hunter said that's um...different. Hunter then asked Michaels to pull out the run sheet for tonight. Michaels pulled out merchandise, then found the run sheet tucked in his boot. He keeps it there just in case he forgets what he's doing. Hunter showed Horny the segment run down and his name isn't on there. He said Hornswoggle isn't listed until the short segment later on. Hornswoggle explained that he wants to be in the segment because there's a monster under the ring. Michaels checked, but didn't find anything. Suddenly, he was pulled under the ring and he re-emerged with worms hanging out of his mouth. Hunter pointed them out, then Boogeyman's music hit and he danced into the ring. Hunter asked him if he could help him. "I'm the Boogeyman and I...want to be in DX," he said. The fans laughed, then Hunter said they can't have enough freaks and weirdos, so what the hey.

Hunter tried to warm up the Buffer intro again, but Khali's music interrupted. Michaels simply ushered him to the back of the line. Hunter did a weak Indian accent imitation that bombed, but he shook it off, and went for the Buffer intro, only to be interrupted by Coach's music. Coach Carlton Banks said he's shutting his non-sense down right now. He said the people came here to see action tonight, not to see DX's antics. Hunter called him George Jefferson and Coach nearly cracked a smile. Hunter said Coach needs to slow down or else he's going to tell Khali what Coach said about him. Hunter whispered in Translator Dude's ear what Coach supposedly said about Khali, then TD told Khali. Coach instantly backed away, but Khali gave him the big chop to the head. Coach left, then Khali followed out. The fans were thoroughly confused. And Boogeyman and Horny disappeared.

[Q2]

Suddenly, it was just Hunter and Michaels. Hunter looked around, then asked Michaels what that was all about. Michaels said that was the worst piece of writing since the Katie Vick debacle. Hunter confirmed that, then said he knows no one wrote that crap because they're on strike. Hunter, 16 minutes into the show, with the first writer strike reference of the night. He paused to let the fans pop for that, then he smiled and said, "but, we're not." The fans popped, then Hunter and Michaels finished off the two words, suck it, down with it, suck it intro.

[Commercial Break]

Tom Green is ringside. He's still around? Luke Perry is there, as usual.

They recapped the Divas Halloween battle royale from last week when Kelly Kelly won, then Beth Phoenix squashed her. Beth's new nickname is apparently Career Killer. Ross said Candice Michelle is recovering from her broken clavicle. Lawler said he hopes the same doesn't happen to Kelly, who has the most beautiful clavicles he's ever seen. Kelly walked out and they plugged a video game called Jericho. Hm...

1 -- Women's champion BETH PHOENIX vs. KELLY KELLY -- non-title match

Beth slowly approached Kelly when the bell sounded and she landed a hard clothesline. Beth then dropped Kelly with the fisherman buster suplex for the win.

WINNER: Beth in 0:30. Just re-enforcing Beth as Raw's version of Amazing Kong. (n/a)

Backstage, Santino Marella showed up on the screen and said he has some bad news. Steve Austin is not going to be here tonight. He said if Austin was going to come, he would have already showed up tonight. Santino said just in case Austin shows up tonight, he brought a paper bag. That way, Austin can try to act his way out of it. He flipped the bag aside, then left.

[Commercial Break. Another commercial for the Jericho game.]

[Q3]

Tonight, it's Rey & Jeff vs. Kennedy & Finlay.

Back live, Carlito was in the ring to run down a jobber they called Joey. He's actually Kaos, who's wrestled in nearly every Southern California promotion, most recently appearing on MTV's WSX show. Carlito said he found a replacement to wrestle him. Snitsky walked out for his once-a-month random appearance.

2 -- SNITSKY (w/Carlito) vs. KAOS

Snitsky with a quick pump handle slam for the win. Afterward, Carlito thought he was pals with Snitsky, but Snitsky KO'ed him for good measure and left the ring.

WINNER: Snitsky in 0:30. Another squash. Completely random and meant nothing. (n/a)

They aired a desire video package on Jeff Hardy, from his beginnings in North Carolina until now. Nice piece of video. "I am Jeff Hardy," he said at the end of the video. They cut backstage where Jeff and Rey Mysterio talked strategy.

[Commercial Break]

They returned with Mr. Kennedy mid-name announcement. That's all. Next out, Finlay. They announced an Elimination match at Survivor Series with Matt Hardy, Kane, Jeff Hardy, Rey Mysterio, and Triple H vs. Umaga. Kennedy, Finlay, MVP, and Viscera. Well, C.M. Punk can't show up Hunter this year. Rey then came out to a strong reaction. Jeff Hardy rounded out the tag team field.

3 -- REY MYSTERIO & IC champion JEFF HARDY vs. FINLAY & MR. KENNEDY

Fans were hot for Hardy in the early going. Suddenly, Jeff slapped the crap out of Finlay. He turned around and smacked Kennedy, then Finlay clotheslined Jeff over the top rope to the floor. Kennedy and Finlay then had a mild disagreement on who should beat up on Hardy. They cut to a break with Kennedy and Finlay having a face-to-face.

[Q4]

[Commercial Break]

They returned with Kennedy working on Rey, but Rey landed a turnaround splash from the middle rope, followed by a head scissors take over and seated Sentaun. Kennedy came back with a low drop kick to the knees and the heels started working over Rey. Finlay then lost control when Rey nailed a wheelbarrow bulldog before hot tagging to Hardy, who ran in and cleaned house on Kennedy. Hardy landed a Stinger Splash on Kennedy, then he followed with a corner dropkick to the chest for a nearfall. He then followed with the Whisper in the Wind, but Finlay dumped him to the outside. Rey then dropkicked Kennedy and Finlay to the middle rope and nailed the 619 on Kennedy. He took out Finlay on the floor with a running sentaun splash, then Hardy nailed a top rope Swanton Bomb on Kennedy for the win. Afterward, Hardy and Rey got the shine while Ross plugged the Survivor Series ten-man match.

WINNERS: Hardy & Rey in 12:00. Good TV-friendly match with high energy to excite the crowd. Effective use of TV time to plug the Survivor Series match that will feature the most star power. (**)

They cut backstage where Santino was on the phone. Maria walked up to him and said she heard a rumor about Austin being here tonight. Santino said it's Hollywood where rumors fly everywhere. Maria tried to interrupt him, but Santino said it's his night to be the star. He said Austin has as much chance of showing up as winning an Oscar.

[Commercial Break]

They aired a video package on the WrestleMania tickets going on sale this weekend. One guy is sleeping with his tickets.

[Q5]

At the top of the second hour, Santino Marella walked out with Maria and her amazing legs. Wow. Ross said the Santino and Maria relationship is one of the great mysteries of modern time. In the ring, Santino took the mic and said he's putting the rumors to rest that Austin isn't going to be here tonight. Santino said Austin is like Kobe Bryant: he's bald and he doesn't like to be in Los Angeles. He introduced the director of The Condemned and no one reacted. Santino said that's OK because no one liked the movie anyways. He said there will be no can of the ass whip being opened tonight. He said Jim Ross isn't going to reach the point of orgasm. He said that's his bottom lines because he said so. Suddenly, the glass broke and Austin strolled out with a DVD in hand. Austin did his four corner salute while Santino stood patiently in the ring.

Once Austin was done, he circled Santino with a big smile on his face. Austin asked Santino how he's doing. They shook hands. Austin said he's noticed Santino has misquoted him lately. Especially the can of ass whip. The mud pie was next. It's a mud hole. Santino said he understands exactly. And it's the bottom line, not the bottom lines. Santino thanked him for the education. Austin said he's been sitting at home for six weeks listening to Santino flap his gums. Austin then asked Santino about how much of the DVD he watched. Santino said he couldn't get through the DVD, then felt violently sick after watching 90 minutes of people being blown up. Austin quizzed Santino on the movie, and Santino turned it into his moment to shine with his responses. Austin had enough and extended an olive branch of friendship with a complimentary DVD and a few beers. Santino was indignant and said he only drinks red wine because the American beer isn't for sophisticated people. He continued to bad-mouth to the movie, so Austin gave him a quick stunner. Santino with possibly the best sell of a Stunner in history.

Austin wasn't done, so he went backstage and pulled out a beer truck. He took a hose into the ring and hosed down Santino for a good minute. Maria then checked on Santino while Austin drank some beer. He then looked at Maria, looked at the crowd, then kept looking back at Maria, who pleaded with Austin not to douse her. The crowd finally convinced Austin to spray her, and Austin wet Maria down with a beer bath. She was soaking yet, and Santino got some for good measure. Austin had several beers on top of the truck, then he shared a beer with the director of Condemned. Santino was the star of the segment, with Austin "sending everyone home happy".

Ross and Lawler plugged DX vs. Orton and Umaga for tonight.

[Q6]

The Save_Us video aired, challenging us to Break the Code. Answer: Please Stand By. Answer is the Code. Code is the Answer.

They went backstage where Vince McMahon gave Hornswoggle some tips on parenting. He said he's not the coach of the Philadelphia Eagles, and he who spares the rod, spoils the child. Ouch. McMahon said he needs to show some tough love to his son. He said it's coming time at Survivor Series for Horny to face a big challenge. Suddenly, a rather large shadow entered the picture. McMahon looked up and Great Khali appeared over him. Khali threatened a claw as Hornswoggle tried not to cry. Ringside, Ross and Lawler tried to figure out that piece of parenting.

They went to Triple H backstage, who said management sent him out here to kill some time since Austin just sprayed some beer all over the Staples Center. Suddenly, Shawn Michaels walked into the shot and explained that he has an idea, but he doesn't do cool. He called for dancers. Big Dick Johnson entered the shot and started dancing. Hunter was indignant. Michaels grabbed Hunter and said he doesn't know cool. He has kids and he knows Dora the Explorer, but he doesn't know cool. He begged Hunter to help him out. Hunter said he keeps dancers on hand just in case. He then introduced two girls from the Girls Next Door show. Lawler screamed while they started bumping and grinding on Hunter. Ross demanded that Lawler put his hands back on the table.

[Commercial Break]

[Q7]

Cody Rhodes walked out with Hardcore Holly and Ross said he doesn't understand the relationship between Holly and Cody, like Maria and Santino. They cut backstage where Murdoch and Cade were on the way to the ring. Mickie James stopped them and wished Murdoch luck, but Cade shooed her away.

4 -- CODY RHODES (w/Hardcore Holly) vs. TREVOR MURDOCH (w/Lance Cade)

Murdoch opened things up with a huge slap to Cody's face. He started pounding on Cody while Holly tried to shout out encouragements. Ross put over WWE for drawing more fans than the Lakers. Cody came back on Murdoch with a dropkick, then he avoided a clothesline and landed a bulldog. He tried to fire up the crowd, but they remained firmly planted in their seats. Murdoch and Cody exchanged control, then Cody avoided interference from Cade and rolled up Murdoch for the win. Holly quickly entered the ring and stood by Cody, as Ross explained that they still don't understand the relationship.

WINNER: Cody in 5:00. Let down match after all the action so far throughout the show. The Cody and Holly program stalled this week with its placement on the show. (3/4*)

From ringside, Ross and Lawler talked about memories they had of Fabulous Moolah. They aired a lengthy video package on Moolah's history from the '40s to the present. Back live, the fans applauded after the package aired.

[Commercial Break]

Tomorrow on ECW, it's Punk vs. Morrison for the belt. ZZ Top was ringside. Jamie Kennedy was ringside.

Suddenly, Koko B. Ware was in the ring. Never mind, it's Shelton Benjamin and Charlie Haas in one corner while Jim Duggan and Super Crazy did some crazy exchange of Ho and Si.

[Q8]

5 -- SHELTON BENJAMIN & CHARLIE HAAS vs. SUPER CRAZY & HACKSAW DUGGAN

Shelton and Haas took turns slamming Crazy in center ring while Duggan tried to get the crowd back. And they kept trying to slam him. And slam him. Out of nowhere, Super Crazy rolled up Shelton and hooked the tights for the win. The heels tried to beat down Crazy afterward, but Duggan made the save.

WINNERS: Super Crazy & Hacksaw Duggan in 2:00. Whatever that was. (n/a)

[Commercial Break]

The video replay of Hunter vs. Umaga's feud contained "Jericho" on the screen for nearly a minute to promote the Jericho video game. "Jericho" flashed on the screen once the promo finished.

Umaga and Randy Orton came out for the main event. DX then came out and the fight was on in the ring.

6 -- TRIPLE H & SHAWN MICHAELS vs. UMAGA & WWE champion RANDY ORTON

DX dumped Umaga to the floor, then Michaels hit a cannonball dive to the floor on Umaga. Hunter followed out and smashed Orton's head into the guardrail. Back in the ring, Michaels battled with Orton before Umaga tagged in and nearly sat on Michaels's head with a rear splash. Michaels avoided it and rolled to Hunter, who came in with a tag. Umaga suddenly cut him off and splashed him before they cut to a break.

[Commercial Break. No off-season. No re-runs. No second takes. Dec. 10 is a three-hour special for the 15-year anniversary of Raw.]

[Q9 -- over-run]

They returned with Umaga going for the big running splash on Hunter, but Hunter moved just in time. Orton then tagged in and ran into a big boot from Hunter. Michaels took a hot tag and ran over Orton with a flying forearm. He then scoop slammed Orton and went to the corner for a flying elbow drop. Michaels took his eye off the ball and turned around to find a big clothesline from Umaga. The heels then worked over Michaels and Orton landed a textbook standing dropkick for a nearfall. Michaels made his comeback and the two men went into an exchange of right hands, only to have Umaga come in and splash Michaels. Umaga went for a top rope splash, but Michaels moved just in time. He kicked Umaga away, then ran over to Hunter for a hot tag. Hunter came in and cleaned house before chucking Umaga head-first into the corner ring posts. Hunter called for the end and tried to drop Orton with the Pedigree, but Umaga nailed Hunter with the Samoan Spike.

Well into the over-run, Umaga worked over Hunter with right hand blows to the head. He went for another running rear splash, and this time, smashed Hunter in the face. Umaga knocked Michaels off the apron, then he went to the well once too often for another rear splash, and Hunter got his knees up to the crotch. Orton took a tag, then started stalking Hunter like a shark in the water. He went for the RKO, but Hunter shoved Orton into Umaga. Michaels took yet another tag and entered the ring. He ducked a clothesline, then quickly smashed Orton in the face with Sweet Chin Music. He fell on top of Orton and made the cover for the win. Afterward, Michaels rolled Orton over and talked some trash. From a seated position, Hunter and Michaels did a mini-DX salute while selling fatigue from the match.

WINNERS: Hunter & Michaels in 15:00. Very good TV match to cap off the show. Orton and Umaga had enough offense, but as usual, they were turned away in the end. They don't just need a big beat down on DX before the PPV to show they can still dominate, but one of them needs an actual clean pinfall over either Hunter or Michaels. Despite the constant threats to the head, it's hard to take Orton seriously as champion right now. Umaga is more of a believable heel because his moves are very believable in the ring. DX can't run roughshod on their tough opponents all the time without some sort of retribution for this feud to be taken seriously. (***)

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