By Wade Keller, Torch editor

WHAT HAPPENED: 1ST HOUR

-The screen opened with a "In Memory Of" acknowledgment of the death of The Fabulous Moolah.

-The Raw opening aired, then Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler introduced the show to a high-octane pyro show. Ross billed it as the latest stop in the road to Survivor Series. He touted the sellout crowd at the Staples Center.

-The DX music played. All of the NBC Universal TV stations changed their logos to green today in tribute to and anticipation for the reunion of DX this week. Who knew WWE was so big across all of NBC's family of stations like Bravo and MSNBC. The 1997 glo-sticks were dusted of and distributed to fans to hold up in "X" symbols. Triple H and Shawn Michaels played to the fans, who were too busy explaining to their kids how cool DX were back in the day when they were in their 20s. Ross touted it as being for one night only. Hunter and Michaels waited until the cheers were loud enough. They kept waiting and waiting. Millions turned the channels to see if any other entertainers were doing something to hold their attention on the other channels. Hunter asked, "It's for one night only, but are you ready?" He repeated himself louder for their old fans with hearing aids now. Rather nice of him. He went into B.G. James/Road Dogg's bit. Hornswoggle's music then played, showing the stark contrast between 1997's cool green gimmick act and 2007's cool green gimmick act. Hornswoggle ran into the ring and did the X chop.

Hunter said, "Well, that's different. You need to go back under the ring." Hornswoggle refused. Hunter asked Michaels if he has a run sheet for the show. Michaels went into the hilarious DX bit where they plug their merchandise. He pulled various DX merchandise items from his pants before getting to the run sheet. Hunter bent over and told Hornswoggle that the run sheet says "DX promo." He said there is no Hornswoggle listed. He said he's not part of the show "until the short segment." Michaels laughed. Hornswoggle flipped Michaels to the mat and applied what Hunter called "a short arm scissors." Hunter said he gets it now, he wants to be in DX, but he can't, so go back under the ring. Hornswoggle said he can't because of the monster under there. Michaels checked. He said there is monster there, but then suddenly he got yanked by the leg under the ring. Michaels came back out five seconds later with worms in his mouth. He didn't notice until Hunter pointed them out, then Michaels threw a fit. Boogeyman walked into the ring. Ross said that is "ECW's Boogeyman." Hornswoggle hit between Hunter's legs. Hunter said, "Yes, that is a midget between my legs." Hunter asked if he could help Boogeyman. Boogeyman said, "I'm the Boogeyman" in his typical voice. Then added in his normal voice, "And see if I can join DX." Michaels said he's in. Hunter said you can never have enough nerds, freaks, and weirdos.

At that point, The Great Khali stepped out onto the stage with his translator. Michaels said to prevent himself from being turned into a human Slim Jim, let's just pretend he's not there and move on. Hunter turned to him and said, "Let me guess, you wanna be part of DX. Get in the back." Khali stepped to the back of the line. Some fans cheered that. As they all lined up, Hunter began to mock Khali's translator's voice. A few fans laughed. Most sat silently. As Hunter was about to do the "Get ready to suck it!" bit, Coach's music interrupted. He shouted, "Enough!" Ross called him a buzzkill. Yeah, because it was just such a great segment until then. Coach said, "I'm shutting this nonsense down right now." He said the fans came to se action, not watch those two do their immature little antics. He read my mind. Hunter called Coach "George Jefferson." DX is supposed to be 1997, not 1977. Hunter threatened to tell Khali what Coach said about him earlier. Hunter told the translator something. He, being as gullible as an eight year old, couldn't believe what Hunter told him. Hunter told Michaels to vouch for him. He said Michaels can't lie. Michaels said it was all true. The translator told Khali something. Khali moved toward Coach. Khali chopped Coach. Coach rolled to the floor and fled to the back, with Khali in pursuit.

That left Hunter and Michaels in the ring alone. Lawler asked where everybody else went. Hunter asked, "What the hell was all that." Michaels said, "I gotta be honest with ya'. I feel I'm getting a little old for this. I don't know who writes this garbage, but this is the worst debacle since that Katie Vick thing years ago." Hunter said he's got a good point, but added that nobody writes this because they're all on strike. "But we're not!" he added. Then he went into the, "Let's get ready to suck it!" line. The crowd gave them polite applause. Michaels said, "For one night only, if you're not down with that, L.A.'s got two words for you." Hunter and the crowd said, "Suck it!"

-Ross plugged the appearance of Steve Austin scheduled for later in the show.

[Commercial Break]

-They showed the exterior of Staples Center. Then they showed that Luke Perry and Tom Green were sitting in the front row. Not together.

-They went to the Diva Halloween Battle Royal last week.

1 -- "GLAMAZON" BETH PHOENIX vs. KELLY KELLY

Kelly looked nervous as Glamazon walked out to her seriously great intro music. It's really sad that when former WWE performers die, they almost always get mentioned only at the start of the show with the graphic before the intro, because it just seemed wrong not to have Ross and Lawler discuss Fabulous Moolah here. Ross did wish Candice Michelle a "get well" message.

WINNER: Glamazon in 1:00 with a fisherman's suplex.

STAR RATING: n/a -- Not much to it, obviously, but it's the right thing to do to build up Glamazon as a dominant champion right now.

-Santino Marella stood backstage and said he had bad news. He said Austin would not be there tonight. He said last week if he was going to come, he'd have shown up already. He said in case he does show up, he brought a paper bag so he could act his way out of it. He then threw the bag to the side and walked away with a self-satisfied grin. You know, the type Hunter has after he delivers his obliviously uncool jokes and accent imitations.

-Ross plugged Jeff Hardy & Rey Mysterio vs. Mr. Kennedy & Finaly in the "brand extension... what brand extension" tag team match.

2 -- CARLITO vs. JOEY

Carlito said lucky for him, he's not going to be wrestling him, but he found a replacement. Out walked Snitsky. Ross wondered what Carlito's excuse was for not competing tonight. Ross said Snitsky has a "phenomenal won-loss record right here on Raw" (not counting 2005-2006, of course). Carlito raised Snitsky's hand after he won in less than a minute. Snitsky attacked Carlito for no apparent reason and gave him a pump handle slam. Snitsky stood over both fallen bodies for a few seconds, then headed toward the back.

WINNER: Snitsky in 1:00.

STAR RATING: n/a

-They aired a music video to "Rooftops" by Lost Prophets for Jeff Hardy featuring vintage footage of Hardy dating back to his backyward wrestling. Nice video. Where did that come from, though? Since when did they give Hardy any type of actual promotion to go along with natural ability to get over no matter how badly he's pushed otherwise and no matter how many times he jobs.

[Commercial Break]

3 -- MR. KENNEDY & FINLAY vs. JEFF HARDY & REY MYSTERIO

Kennedy stood on the second rope with mic in hand and introduced himself. Ross and Lawler talked about how these two teams will be linked with Umaga's team (w/MVP & Big Daddy V) and Hunter's team (with Matt Hardy & Kane) respectively at the Survivor Series. Lawler talked about how much he loves Survivor Series. Finlay's body looks a lot different today than it did, say, two months ago. Hardy started against Finlay. A minute in, Finlay clotheslined Hardy to the floor. When Kennedy went after Hardy, Finlay pulled him aside to go after Hardy. Kennedy took exception. They heel partners stared at each other as Ross threw to a break.

[Commercial Break]

Back live, Rey kicked Kennedy on a backdrop attempt then took him down with a head scissors. Ross called Rey "the biggest little man indeed." Lawler said DX would be in action later. The crawler on the bottom of the screen noted that WrestleMania 24 is already the highest grossing event in Cirtus Bowl history. The heels worked over Rey's left leg for a while. Hardy got the hot-tag at 8:00. He got in a flurry of offense against Kennedy, including a Whisper in the Wind. Four-way action broke out leading to Rey hit Kennedy with the 619. Then he gave Finlay a West Coast Pop at ringside as Hardy pinned Kennedy after a Swanton (which Kennedy was nice enough to shift himself into position to receive in the proper place in the corner). Rey and Hardy celebrated for a while before they cut away.

WINNERS: Rey & Hardy in 10:00.

STAR RATING: *1/2

-Maria walked up to Santino and said she heard a rumor that Steve Austin had arrived. Santino said the odds of that were the same as Austin winning an Oscar.

[Commercial Break]

-An ad aired promoting John Morrison challenging C.M. Punk for the ECW Title. They must've replayed that ad by mistake again.

-They showed people camping outside of the Citrus Bowl. Jimmy Hart woke them up with his megaphone. They interviewed fans celebrating right after purchasing their tickets, including a fan from Italy. Tickets are still available.

END HOUR ONE REPORT

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