KELLER'S SMACKDOWN REPORT
NOVEMBER 10, 2007
TAPED 10/7 IN BAKERSFIELD, CALIF.
BROADCAST ON THE CW

WHAT HAPPENED: HOUR ONE

-Michael Cole and JBL introduced the show and quickly hyped the two feature matches - Rey Mysterio vs. Finlay and Undertaker vs. Great Khali. Then the "Biscuits and Gravy" song began.

1 -- JESSE & FESTUS vs. DAVE TAYLOR & DREW MCENTIRE vs. DEUCE & DOMINO (w/Cherry) vs. SHANNON MOORE & JIMMY WANG YANG & THE MAJOR BROTHERS

After a line comparing Cherry and "room service" (rolling her and rolling her out), Cole gave JBL a hard time, saying the comedy writers are obviously on strike. This was a tag team battle royal, winner getting a tag title shot later. Festus was first eliminated. Jesse had to keep him from getting back into the ring because the bell hadn't rung to calm him down. This had all of the boring aspects of a bad battle royal. This was five minutes of "eyes glazing over" bad. I think JBL began reading stock quotes online or dozing off, as even he couldn't muster the mental energy to try to enhance this experience.

[Commercial Break]

After the break, there were three teams left, and they literally were each paired of in a corner doing nothing. They were just leaning on each other and feigning struggling. A Major brother clotheslined Dave Taylor over the top rope to the floor. As a special treat to viewers, they booked the four greenest wrestlers as the final four. Deuce and Domino eliminated each other when they overshot on clotheslines. The major Brothers celebrated like two Van Hammers in 1992. They aren't The Simpsons, as JBL says. They're like two Van Hammers.

WINNERS: The Major Brothers in 12:00.
LOSERS: The viewers.

STAR RATING: DUD

-Backstage, Michelle McCool denied to Torrie Wilson that she had anything going on with Chuck Palumbo. Chuck walked up behind McCool and put his arms around her from behind. Victoria, with Kenny Dykstra, walked up and made a crack to McCool about "riding" with Palumbo. They had to be restrained by their men.

[Commercial Break]

-Video footage aired of The Great Khali's debut.

2 -- MICHELLE MCCOOL (w/Chuck Palumbo) vs. VICTORIA (w/Kenny Dykstra)

When Kenny made a move toward Michelle at ringside, Palumbo decked him. Meanwhile, Victoria finished Michelle with a DDT for the win.

WINNER: Victoria in 2:00.

STAR RATING: 1/4* - Not much to it. Kenny and Victoria come across as a heelish pair, easy to boo.

-Rey was interviewed backstage about facing Finlay. He said Finlay doesn't know where he comes from or who he is. He said he was wrong when he said he fears him because he fears no man, certainly not Finlay. He spoke some in Spanish, then said he was raised to win. He closed by saying he's doing it for his people because his people are him.

[Commercial Break]

-The Save_Us code vignette aired. That candle ran out of wax weeks back.

-As Vickie Guerrero, whose make-up is rivalling Paul Bearer these days, was saying she was glad to have C.M. Punk on Smackdown. Jamie Noble, one of the main reasons to watch Smackdown these days, brought up a VHS tape of himself. He told Vickie that he made this copy just for her and if she fast-forwards to the end, there's a special bonus section just for her. Then he made a sexual come-on cat noise. Punk mocked him for having a VHS tape. He told him he's a fan of his and thinks his matches recently have been awesome. Noble got mad and said, "Do you think it's awesome that this woman running our company is crazy? Do you think it's awesome that she tried to get me killed every week?" He said he could beat Punk and it'd be "easier than pie." Vickie booked them in a match later. Noble threw a fit and asked if she had "some sort of crazy fetish for him" by booking him in a match every week at the last second. He yanked away his tape and stormed away. Punk laughed and told Vickie he's crazy. Noble is a riot.

3 -- FINLAY vs. REY MYSTERIO

At 3:00 Rey head scissored Finlay over the top rope to the floor. He followed with a slidekick and then a springboard moonsault press. Then they cut to a break.

[Commercial Break]

Finlay soon went on sustained offense, settling into a full Boston crab at 12:00. He took it to the floor and beat on Rey, then reapplied the crab in the ring. Rey finally made a comeback at 16:00, dropkicking Finlay after he grabbed his shillelagh. Finlay fired back with a stiff looking forearm to the chin. Rey fired right back with a 619 attempt, but Finlay ducked. Rey followed with a roundhouse kick to the head and a springboard dive into Finlay for the two count. JBL said this match was proof of Smackdown being the A-show, yadda yadda. Rey scored with the 619 at 18:00, but when he went for a springboard off the top rope, Finlay knocked him off balance, gave him the Keltic Cross, and scored a clean three count. After the mach, Finlay bashed Rey with a laptap he grabbed off of the announce table. He followed up by ramming Rey belly-first into the ringpost. Rey took off his mask and covered with a towel to blot the bleeding.

WINNER: Finlay in 19:00.

STAR RATING: **3/4 -- Nice match.

WHAT HAPPENED: HOUR TWO

[Commercial Break]

-I don't get WWE often formatting Smackdown where a full commercial break takes place right at or very very near the start of the second hour. Isn't that when people are channel-flipping and might stop at The CW if something compelling is on Smackdown rather than a commercial.

-Clips aired of C.M. Punk pinning John Morrison with The Miz watching at ringside. Cole noted that a triple-threat match with those three was added to Survivor Series.

4 -- C.M. PUNK vs. JAMIE NOBLE

Cole and JBL had a silly argument about Noble and Vickie, with JBL making the case that Vickie did have a thing for Noble and had a funny way of showing it. At 3:00 The Miz ran into the ring and jumped Punk, prompting the DQ by the ref. Punk knocked Miz down, at which point John Morrison attacked Punk. JBL said Survivor Series is starting a little early. Punk gave Morrison a Go To Sleep. As he celebrated, Noble returned and gave him his gut-buster, then left the ring.

WINNER: Punk in 3:00 via DQ.

STAR RATING: * -- Nice start to a good match. That darn Miz.

-They showed Batista walking backstage like he owned the world, with the World Title belt over his shoulder.

[Commercial Break]

-They showed the exterior of the Bakersfield Arena, then went to a video feature on Hell in a Cell.

-Batista came out to a full ring intro. JBL took a cell phone call and crawled into the crowd. Cole said it was quite convenient given that Batista just walked out, but maybe it had to do with his investments. Batista said it's clear that at times he doesn't like Undertaker and Undertaker doesn't like him, but he would be rooting for him in the TV main event because he wants him at his best at Survivor Series. He said they both have something to prove. Batista said he's in the best shape of his career and life. He said he's putting it all on the line - his body, his health, his career, his life, and the World Heavyweight Championship (in that order of importance!). He yelled "Yeah!" and threw the mic down. Cole said the Hell in a Cell fence is like a cheese grater. Has he ever seen a cheese grater? Maybe a strainer or a grill, but not really a cheese grater. Come on, Cole.

[Commercial Break]

-An ad aired for Survivor Series announcing the stip that if Randy Orton gets DQ'd, he loses the title belt, but if Shawn Michaels uses the Sweet Chin Music, he loses the match and can never face Orton for the title again.

-JBL returning to the announce table and apologized to his great fans who missed him.

5 -- MVP & MATT HARDY vs. THE MAJOR BROTHERS - WWE Tag Team Title match

MVP came out wearing a "C" on his ring outfit. Cole complained about him appointing himself captain. Hardy got in a string of offense early including a Side Effect. MVP tagged himself in by slapping Hardy hard on the back. Hardy wasn't happy. MVP tagged in, stomped away at Brent Major, and won less than a minute later with the Playmaker. MVP and Hardy argued, as usual, afterward.

WINNERS: MVP & Hardy in 3:00 to retain the WWE Tag Team Titles.

STAR RATING: 1/2*

-A video aired of Khali squishing Batista's head.

-Cole and JBL reminisced about Fabulous Moolah, then went to the special video on her career.

[Commercial Break]

-Cole and JBL ran down the entire announced Survivor Series line-up.

The Great Khali [artist Grant Gould (c) PWTorch]

6 -- THE UNDERTAKER vs. THE GREAT KHALI

The ring intro for Great Khali took place first. JBL told Cole that he does what he does because he loves it, rather than Cole who shows up because he has to. Then Undertaker's full ring intro took place. Cole asked JBL if he made the right move challenging Khali to a "No Holds Barred" match tonight. JBL said it was stupid with the Batista HIAC match coming up in nine days. Talked the top rope in the opening seconds and came off with a forearm. He followed with a chokeslam. Khali went down and stayed down for a Taker cover and a two count. Khali rolled out of the ring. They cut to a break.

[Commercial Break]

Khali was in control after the break. JBL said Undertaker has never been in better shape in his entire WWE career. He said he weighed in at under 300 pounds - at 298 - for the first time in his career. He said Taker has survived because he's a master at adaptation. At 7:00 Khali applied a nerve hold. Taker yelled out in pain. At 9:00 Khali went to the head squeeze. Cole said it's taken out Ric Flair, Jeff Hardy, Kane, Batista, Rey Mysterio, and The Undertaker. Taker began to punch out of it. That didn't get the crowd pop it should have. The sound sweetener made noise, but the fans were noticeably still in the background. Taker signalled for the Tombstone. When he went to lift Khali, Khali blocked him. Khali then gave Taker the double-armed slam. As he stood over Taker, Taker sat up. Taker then locked on a triangle choke. This isn't an MMA rules match. Is that legal?! Khali tapped out. Cole asked if we were looking at the new World Champion. JBL said he's never been in better shape and he's "a motivated Dead Man." The show closed with Taker posing.

WINNER: Undertaker in 11:00.

STAR RATING: *1/4 -- Neat finish. It's sad that a fortysomething Taker was the first to introduce that hold as a finisher in WWE after a decade of it being a cool, effective finisher in the MMA genre.

FINAL THOUGHTS: Entirely skippable. Noble's rant at Vickie was fun, Taker's finisher on Khali was cool, and Rey vs. Finlay was professional and smooth. Not enough reason to even speed through this show, though. Delete it from your DVR and you won't have regrets. There's just no zeal behind anything booking-wise, and the talent pool collectively is as bland as it's ever been.

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