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KELLER'S WWE RAW REPORT (hour one)
NOVEMBER 12, 2007
WICHITA, KS.
-A video message aired paying tribute to veterans.
-They went live to the arena where Batista's music played and he walked out to his full ring intro and pyro. Jim Ross acted surprised. Jerry Lawler said, "Pinch me or am I really seeing Batista in a Raw ring?!" It was almost like when Scott Hall and Kevin Nash showed up on Nitro! Or Lex Luger on the first Nitro! Or Booker T at Genesis! Batista said he was invited to be on Raw by G.M. William Regal to "take on some Raw competition" (and hot-shot away even more of the money-potential in interbrand matches down the line). Batista said Regal will regret it. He said he's confused because he's gearing for Hell in a Cell and Undertaker. He said he's going to be locked in a 20 foot high cell with a man who wants to kill him, "a man I don't like, a man who doesn't like me." Undertaker then came out next. Maybe that poll at WWE.com that showed fans cared a lot more about the HIAC than they do Shawn Michaels vs. Randy Orton or the big tag match prompted this. Or that desire to keep ratings at their former average level, which is now celebrated as a feat, by hot-shotting away the one thing WWE held off on with some signs of self-discipline, which was Undertaker appearing on Raw, because they're worried about renegotiating leverage with USA Network (the deal runs out next fall and they're in talks on an extension). WWE doing this is like parents dipping into their retirement fund to pay off a credit card bill - a price they're paying for a lack of discipline in the past. In WWE's case, their lack of discipline was treating their mid-card developing talent so poorly and doing a weak job of creating new stars and scouting new talent that they have to resort to bringing the two biggest stars from Smackdown onto Raw to try to sustain last-week's ratings pop and to sell Sunday's PPV.
William Regal stepped out onto the stage and he said he invited them to Raw, but not to face each other. Instead, he's teaming them against "the finest tag team on Raw." Out walked the tag champs.
Ross said Batista and Undertaker are arguably the two biggest stars on Smackdown and hyped it as a big match because they were taking on Raw's tag champs - as if the tag titles haven't been beaten down and destroyed over the past year or two to the point that the title holders are seen as jobbers before they're seen as big stars. Taker walked the top rope and came down with a forearm on Cade in the opening minute. Batista tagged himself in and worked over Cade. When he shook the top rope after a spinebuster, Taker tagged himself in and gave Cade a chokeslam. Murdoch interrupted the count with a stomp. Batista nailed Murdoch. Taker signalled for a Tombstone, then delivered it to Cade and scored the three count. Batista entered the ring and exchanged stern looks with Taker. Batista then gave Murdoch a Batista Bomb. They had a staredown.
WINNERS: Batista & Undertaker in 2:00.
STAR RATING: 1/4* -- What was gained? Raw fans got to see that Batista and Taker don't like each other, but get along well enough to sorta cooperate in a tag match and not take each other's heads off. What's lost? The idea that Taker and Batista are going to tear each apart next chance they get, and the chance they had to hard-sell down the line the first appearance in years of either of them on Raw for some bigger purpose. I don't think it's worth it, especially not in the first quarter hour without any hype. It just seems like a real inefficient use of limited brand-split star-power equity.
[Commercial Break]
-A sponsored clip aired of last week's Steve Austin-Santino Marella angle.
2 -- BETH PHOENIX vs. MARIA
WINNER: Phoenix in 2:00.
STAR RATING: 1/4* -- Just a dominant squash to further establish her as a level above most divas in the ring.
-After the match, as Phoenix was leaving, Santino walked toward the ring to his intro music. He checked on Maria briefly, looked frustrated with her, then went to ringside to grab a mic. He said he was brutalized last week by Steve Austin. The crowd cheered. He said when he was sprayed down with the Steveweiser and flipping and flopping, that wasn't funny for one second. He said Austin obviously couldn't take criticism about his dumb movie. "Whatever happened about the first amendment rule of America?" he said. "Stone Cold Steve Austin, you owe me an apology." He said if he's here, come out. Lawler laughed. The camera pointed toward an empty stage. Santino said if Austin's not there, he's going to turn to his friend, Jim Ross. "I'm going to get my apology tonight, so who better than good ol' J.R.?" he said. He said when saw his "stupid crooked smile" las week, he got mad, but then he realized he has that "stupid crooked smile" every week. Santino told Ross to stand up and apologize. Instead, Lawler stood up. Santino told him to come in the ring if he wants a piece of him. He said he'd give him the first punch. Just like Vince McMahon in that Montreal locker room with Bret Hart ten years ago. Lawler took advantage of that first punch. He took Santino down. Santino rolled out of the ring holding his jaw and returned to the back quickly. He was fuming mad. "You'll pay for that, Jerry Stupid Lawler!"
-Ross plugged the Triple H vs. Umaga lumberjack match coming up later.
[Commercial Break]
-Todd Grisham approach Santino backstage. Santino challenged Lawler to a match later in the show. He said, "I won't be so easy like that guy from Taxi. I'm going to beat you up." Lawler said even though he doesn't have any wrestling gear, he's going to accept that challenge. Too bad Lawler stopped wearing his wrestling singlet at ringside even when he just did commentary.
-A video recap aired of the Shawn Michaels-Randy Orton feud.
-A clip aired from last week after Raw of Randy Orton sitting backstage with William Regal. It was called a WWE Mobile Exclusive. Orton suggested that if Michaels uses his Sweet Chin Music, he can never wrestle him for the WWE Championship again, but if he intentionally gets disqualified, or it appears he's trying to do so, he loses the title.Regal agreed to it. Lawler then plugged the Michaels-Orton debate moderated by Mr. McMahon later.
-Matt Hardy came out. Then Rey Mysterio and Jeff Hardy. Matt Hardy?! Rey Mysterio?! Anything can happen on Raw! Ross said it's like a WWE All-Star Game tonight.
[Commercial Break]
-A clip aired of Survivor Series 1997 with teams captained by Andre the Giant and Hulk Hogan. These clips are always a bit morbid given how may have died. For instance, Bam Bam Bigelow was in the clip.
Jeff & Matt Hardy [photo by Wade Keller (c) PWTorch]
3 -- MVP & FINLAY & MR. KENNEDY vs. JEFF & MATT HARDY & REY MYSTERIO
A minute into the mat, Matt wanted to fight MVP. MVP said they were partners, so he tagged out to Kennedy. At 2:00 Kennedy threw Hardy to ringside and they cut to a break.
[Commercial Break]
They returned to Kennedy with the obligatory commercial break resthold chinlock on Hardy. When the red light came back on, Hardy escaped and tagged in Rey. Kennedy also tagged in Finlay. Ross called Rey "the biggest little man in WWE." Rey ended up taking a beating from the heel trio for several minutes. At 10:00 Rey hot-tagged Hardy against MVP. Ross said he is "formerly known as the Rainbow Haired Warrior." Not that it ever caught on, but that was a bad nickname. It sounds like a parade float or something. Rey recovered and gave MVP and Kennedy a stereo 619, which Ross dubbed at Lawler's prompting a "1238." Then Jeff hit the Swanton to score the three count. Kennedy must be slightly out of the dog house if he wasn't the designated jobber there, or else it's to provide a reason for Matt and MVP to argue about something new on Smackdown this week.
WINNERS: Mysterio & Hardys in 12:00.
STAR RATING: *3/4
-The Save_Us video aired and practically outright said Chris Jericho was debuting next week since it said X+1=Y, J=9+1, which is the code X_29, so it's not Oct. 29, but instead 1 had to be added to both numbers to equal Y2J. It also said 07.XI/MIII. Then it said 6_DAYS, 23 HOURS, AND 33 MINUTES - which aired at 9:55 p.m., meaning he's scheduled to show up 27 minutes short of a full 24 hours from that moment, which would mean 9:28 p.m. is Jericho's scheduled arrival. Then, for anyone who didn't get it, it said "Next Monday" and "Break the Walls."
[Commercial Break]
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