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As we come on the air, Cornette is telling the announcers that because he hasn't signed with TNA yet, they can't say Booker T's name. I mean _______ _'s name. I guess this is their way od making sure people who didn't get the PPV results have to watch more of the show to find out who the mystery partner was.

Kurt comes to the ring, followed by Karen, AJ Styles, and Tomko. Angle says that AJ and Tomko made the right choice by joining Angle's Alliance, because apparently they like alliteration. He says that now they're part of his family, at which point Nash comes out and questions how lasting a bond that really is with Kurt. Angle calls Nash a loser, and when Nash points out that he had Sting beat last night, Kurt says to just shut up and bring it. Nash does, and it's a three on one mugging until the X Division and Chris Harris (or as Tenay says "the entire locker room") come to make the save.

Christian Cage arrives in the back. He seems grumpy.

[Commercial Break]

Crystal's in the back with Nash, who is on the phone with someone who he wants to come over for backup.

(1) Jimmy Rave & Lance Hoyt (w/ Christy Hemme) defeat LAX

The match is a whole lot of LAX goodness, including a no hands splash over over the rope and onto the floor by Hernandez—I would really save that move for bigger matches than this. Homicide goes for the Gringo Killer on Rave, but Christy Hemme distracts him long enough for Rave to slip out and hit a School Boy for the win. I die a little inside. After the match, Hernandez takes out Rave, and Christy is left in the ring alone with LAX. She starts to back out, but is intercepted and hit by the new member of the Latino Nation. I point out that apparently TNA's policy towards hitting women has changed, and Rachael responds that the policy only said that men couldn't hit women, and we have no way of knowing what gender the new member of the Latino Nation is.

Brother Ray and Devon are in the back with an unidentifiable smallish person in a hood, whom they claim is a member of the X Division. Brother Ray says that if the members of the X Division want their colleague or their title back, they need to accede to a long list of demands, including changing the name of their division and getting Team 3D twelve cases of Ding Dongs. I have a feeling Brother Ray's going to regret making that last request, in more ways than one.

[Commercial Break]

Crystal's in the back with Christian Cage, who says that he hasn't spoken to AJ and Tomko since their apparent defection. He says that he gave his all at Genesis to keep his undefeated streak going; when Crystal questions his "undefeated" status, he assures her that he still has it. He complains that Styles and Tomko couldn't even follow the simple direction to stay in the back during his match, and then later they helped Angle retain without checking with him. He says they better have a damn good reason to do what they did, and that he'll be getting it from them later tonight.

(2) Robert Roode & Ms. Brooks defeat Gail Kim & Chris Harris

Tenay and West are wondering which X Division wrestler Team 3D has in the back. Couldn't they figure out by counting heads? They obviously went on field trips back when they were in school. This match is slightly less random than it seems, as Kim punked out Roode a few weeks ago, and Harris and Kim have a lot of history from the breakup of AMW. Roode tags himself in and makes Ms. Brooks take a chair on the outside, which is probably actually a sweet gesture, given her recent fainting spell (for those who missed the news, her fall at Genesis appears to have been real).

[Commercial Break]

So is Harris face again? He helps rescue Nash earlier in the night, and is now teaming with Gail Kim against Robert Roode. On the other hand, the announcers harp for a bit on how whiny he's been lately. I guess for now we're sticking with "tweener"? Anyway, the finish comes when Roode makes Ms. Brooks give him her chair. She tries to keep it away, but he grabs it and nails Harris in the head for the win. Yawn. After the match, he keeps the chair shots going on Harris, but when he goes to Pillmanize his elbow (or maybe wrist) Ms. Brooks gets between them. Roode gets in her face, but she slaps his hand away and shoves him. She starts to leave, but pauses at ringside to tear up Roode's "#1 fan's" sign, and then drag her over the guardrail and initiate a catfight. Roode laughs as the referees break it up. If the point of the match was to set up this interaction I'm not sure why they had to drag it across two segments.

Crystal is in the back with an arriving Scott Hall. She warns him that he might be walking into a hornet's nest, and he responds that if Angle wants to play, he and Kevin can play.

[Commercial Break]

Cornette's in his office. He starts to say how upset he is with Morgan for creating legal problems by allowing Booker T and Sharmell to appear at the PPV. Errr…you're the one who told Sting he could pick his own partner. Morgan points out that he was left to handle things and he did. Cornette responds that he's making him look bad, and puts Morgan on probation. Hoyt and Rave burst in and demand that Cornette take action in response to the man-on-woman violence earlier in the night. He says that he'll deal with it, but then gets distracted by the sight of Team 3D doing something on some monitor.

3D has their mystery X Division wrestler in the center of the ring. Brother Ray calls out Sabin & Shelley. They come out with Jay Lethal, and the champ has to enter to their music—ouch. Sabin says that instead of Ding Dongs they've brought a couple of Hohos, cause they've got Ray and Devons mothers in the back. Brother Ray reveals that their mystery wrestler is Havoc, which I guess makes it understandable that no one noticed. He also announces that there's a traitor in the X Division. The Guns and Lethal make their way down to the ring and then hesitate. While Ray mocks them for this, Team 3D is ambushed from behind by Shark Boy and Sonjay Dutt. Havoc goes under the ring to get a kendo stick, and ambushes his fellow members of the X Division. Why did they bother telling us that there's a traitor if they were just going to reveal who it was a few minutes later? The X Division is laid out.

AJ and Tomko are in the back. AJ says that this was all just a big misunderstanding—he's been under a lot of pressure since Christian made him team captain and he was just trying to take some initiative. Tomko looks embarrassed to have anything to do with this guy. AJ says he thought that adding Kurt to the Coalition would make their team even stronger, cause he loves Christian, but that perhaps he hadn't thought it through. AJ's worried that he'll get demoted.

[Commercial Break]

There's a video package wherein James Mitchell announces the upcoming return of Judas Maseis. Yay?

The Outsiders make their way down to the ring, and Nash gets the "you've still got it" treatment. Nash announces that a match has been made between Angle's Alliance and Hall & Nash and a mystery partner to be named later in the night. This could actually be kind of funny, if they make Angle go crazy by continually putting him against mystery partners.

(3) Abyss defeats Black Reign and Rellik

Rellik is the Boogeyman-like mystery man from inside the box at Genesis, who Wikipedia assures me is really Johnny "The Bull" Stamboli. While theoretically a triple threat match, Rellik and Reign work together against Abyss, though a bit of tension starts to show right before the break.

[Commercial Break]

Abyss dodges a flying clothesline from Reign, which nails Rellik instead. As Reign and Rellik try to work out what's going on, Abyss takes command. A Black Hole Slam on Rellik gives him the win. Yawn #2. After the match Rellik and Reign take it to Abyss with a chair, but Rhino comes out to make the save. Where has he been for the last month?

Borash is in the back with Angle, and questions what "we" are going to do about Hall & Nash. Angle says that since Borash isn't likely to lace up the boots any time soon, there is no "we". I'm liking this evolving Borash/Angle relationship. Angle says he's not worried about Hall, Nash, or whatever partner they could get. He commends Kaz on wanting to get in the ring with him, but says that there's no way Kaz is going to make a name at his expense.

[Commercial Break]

(4) Awesome Kong defeats Alexa Jade

It's a squash, but at least it's quick. There are quiet but distinctly audible chants for Kong. After the match Gail Kim comes down and calls out Kong. For some unknown reason referees try to escort her to the back, which gives Kim the opportunity to blow past them and attack Kong. They continue to try to pull her off, which gives Kong the opening she needs to crush Kim.

[Commercial Break]

Cornette is in the ring, and he sings the praises of Booker T before inviting him and Sharmell down for their contract signing. The crowd chants for Booker as he takes a mic. He seems genuinely happy to be there. He thanks the crowd, only to have them chant "thank you Booker" back. Man the Impact Zone likes them their Booker T. After the signings Cornette asks what his plans are for TNA, but Christian Cage chooses that moment to make his entrance. Christian says that Booker's in a whole new world, cause while there are no crowns or scepters in TNA there is one king. He adds that Booker should go to the back of the line, but then goes a step too far when he calls Sharmell a #@!O$UU!@ (I have no idea). Booker beats him out of the ring, and claims that he just took Christian Cage's #1 contender's spot. Poor Kaz.

[Commercial Break]

We see a nice package calling Kaz the future of the business, and then go to Borash with Kaz in the back. Kaz says he earned the right to be in the ring with the best wrestler in the world, and that's all he ever wanted. Huh—if it were me I would have wanted the title. He promises to leave it all in the ring.

(5) Kurt Angle defeats Kaz

The crowd is split 70-30 in favor of the underdog, which seems about right. Tenay and West talk about how big it will be for Kaz's career if he can make a competitive showing, and the fact that they're not treating him like he can win makes it seems slightly more likely that he will. Kaz has one match to prove to the world that he's a main eventer, so for his first major offensive onslaught he busts out…an armbar? Then he busts out another armbar. All in all this half of the match has a lot of armbar related offense. Just before the break Angle Olympic Slams Kaz out of the ring.

[Commercial Break]

Angle's in control as we come back. Tenay is still trying to get over "TCB" (taking care of business) as a catchphrase, apparently thinking that there will one day be a large market for Karen Angle related T-shirts. Angle, wanting to make Kaz's big break as exciting as possible, locks in a leg scissors. At about the ten-minute mark stuff starts happening. Kaz hits a dropkick off the top, fights out of an Angle Lock, gets two counts with a Small Package and a dropkick, and eventually gets the Wave of the Future for two. Karen distracts the ref, which allows Kurt to connect with a low blow and an Olympic Slam, but apparently the latter move only keeps down Sting. Angle goes to the top rope, but gets caught with a jumping side kick and a Flux Capacitor, which only gets two. Kaz, apparently realizing that he's out of finishers, gets rolled into some sort of Front-Chancery-Cover for the loss. He kicks out, but at 3.1, which is a bit late. Angle starts to leave, but is lured back when he realizes that Kaz is celebrating over how close he came. As Angle stares him down Hall and Nash sneak up behind him and begin to tee off. Styles and Tomko make the save, but are chased off by Hall & Nash's mystery partner, Samoa Joe. Nice to see that his sojourning in the mid-card is over.

Where We've Been:
The video package made a big deal over Kaz's long journey to the title, and it was in fact a big deal. It spanned two pay per views, including one semi-main-event. And now it's over. A big tournament win over an opponent the caliber of Christian Cage will always be a career maker, but to become a genuine main-eventer Kaz needed to make an incredible showing tonight. He didn't. He had one night at the grown-ups' table, and while he didn't drool on his shirt, he didn't light up the world either. If you weigh under 220 pounds and your last name isn't Guerrero, you should not be starting off your 15 minute matches with series of arm bars. I like that TNA gave Kaz a shot, and as I said, he acquitted himself competently, but I think for now he's going to have to go back to the drawing board.

Where We're Going:
If there was one match I was really hoping to get to see one day, it's Christian vs. Booker T (for those who missed it, they had an approximately 7,432 match feud over the IC title on Raw). But I've done enough griping about Booker over the last week, and now it's time to give the man his props. The fact is that while I'm not sure what he adds to the TNA in-ring product, the man has about as much charisma as about 2/3 of the roster combined. It really came out when he interacted with the crowd, and (to a slightly lesser extent) when he interacted with Cage. There will hopefully be a major difference between this and their last feud, as their main-event status will mean they get more promo time and fewer pointless encounters. I realize the idea of doing more talking instead of wrestling is anathema to TNA fans, and in general I'm sympathetic to that concern, but if this is a war of words it has the potential to be entertainment gold. If it becomes just a series of matches, it'll be just more of what we've already seen.

This Week's Show: This week dragged far more than any episode of Impact has any business doing. Stretching Roode's match over two segments made it seem tedious. Ditto for Abyss's match. Kaz vs. Angle was competent, but it needed to be a lot more. All in all, this was an extremely sub-par outing. C-


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