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TNA Impact review
November 22, 2007
Aired on Spike TV

We open with the Angles' Thanksgiving Day feast. Kurt and Karen are dressed as pilgrims. One looks absurd and one looks attractive—I'll let you guess which is which. In attendance are Jeremy Borash and AJ Styles looking enthusiastic, and Tomko looking like he'd rather be anywhere else. Angle prays for G-d to be on his team at Turning Point, and thanks him for firing Pacman Jones and keeping the TNA writers from striking. Karen Angle and Borash make faces at each other in what is clearly a four camera set up. AJ questions whether Christian is going to come, and Angle assures him that he's been invited.

[Opening Credits]

This week on Impact they're having the first annual Turkey Bowl, which is a 9-man tournament of triple-threat matches, which seems like a neat concept. The winner of the final match will get $25,000, and the loser of the fall will have to wear a turkey suit.

(1) Chris Sabin defeats Brother Devon and Abyss

This match is mostly Abyss, until Black Reign and Rellik come out to attack. Rhino makes the save, and the four of them brawl to the back. Sabin takes it to Devon until Brother Ray gets involved. I wonder where Alex Shelley is, but apparently he's not needed; Sabin takes out Brother Ray and catches Devon with a School Boy for the three count.

Hall & Nash arrive, and they're looking for the Angle thanksgiving dinner.

[Commercial Break]

Robert Roode arrives at the Angles' Thanksgiving, and then James Storm comes with the beer. Chris Harris arrives whining about the directions, which is slightly amusing. He yells at Robert Roode, which makes me think I should know why those two are fighting. Eric Young shows up, apparently invited by Jeremy Borash. He gives kudos to Kurt for his Batman costume, and Kurt makes him sit at the kids' table with his daughter.

(2) Samoa Joe defeats Kip James (w/ BG James) and Johnny Devine

Devine has changed his name back from Havok. These matches are supposed to all have one X Division wrestler, on tag team specialist, and one heavyweight, but given the division crossover in TNA the point of that is somewhat lost. Also, why is Kip James wrestling and Hernandez, Homicide, Senshi, and Killings (all most recently tag specialists) are not? James and Devine work together for a bit, until it comes time to go for a cover, at which point things break down. BG James is kicked out of the ringside area, but it doesn't really matter, as Joe just knocks Kip into him and hits the Muscle Buster on Devine for the win.

Shark Boy, Sonjay Dutt, and Petey Williams all arrive at the Angles'. Poor Petey. Sonjay is seeking donations for starving children, so Kurt regurgitates some food into Sonjay's tambourine. James challenges Eric Young to a drinking contest. From this point on there are so many people talking at once that it's hard to make out what anyone says, which is realistic but not very good television. AJ goes to prepare for his match.

[Commercial Break]

(3) AJ Styles defeats "Black Machismo" Jay Lethal and Christian Cage

Christian's music hits but he's nowhere to be seen, so Lethal and Styles start things off. Lethal is in control for most of the stretch before the break. Styles takes the upper hand for a few seconds before Christian Cage comes down to ring and chases AJ away.

[Commercial Break]

Christian's in control, and when AJ tries to reenter the ring Christian just chases him off. Lethal takes the lead with a nice moonsault, but when he tries to follow up with a Springboard-something Christian catches him with a Gut Buster. Cool. Christian goes for a Reverse DDT but is caught with a Lethal Combination. When Lethal tries to follow up with a Savage Elbow AJ runs down and knocks him off the rope. Christian capitalizes with an Unprettier, and AJ enters the ring with a Springboard Splash to hold Lethal down for Cage. However, AJ accidentally gets the three count while trying to get Christian's attention. Neither Christian nor Styles seems happy.

Black Reign and Rellik show up at the Angles', and, not surprisingly, this is when the segments drop from "tolerable" to "not". Though I do admit to being slightly amused by Black Reign's rat freaking out Karen Angle and Jeremy Borash.

[Commercial Break]

Jay Lethal and SoCal Val arrive at the Angles, and Lethal wants to know where The Snake is.

(4) O.D.B. defeats Angelina Love and Velvet Sky.

Presumably Angelina Love is Angel Williams. You're on your own regarding Velvet Sky. The crowd is mildly behind O.D.B., apparently in appreciation of the facts that A) she at least tries to tell a story in the ring and B) her name is easily chant-able. The wrestling here is okay, but nothing special. O.D.B. wins with a Lou Thesz Press off the middle turnbuckle.

Awesome Kong shows up the Angles'. Lethal wants to know who invited the Ugandan Giant.

[Commercial Break]

The Fallen Angel is looking for those whom G-d considers worthy, but none of us are righteous. Senshi and Skipper stand behind him, trying to look solemn.

3D shows up at the Angles', claiming to be invited. Everyone else throws food at them and leaves. I like that they put up with the rat but couldn't stand to be in the same room as 3D—that's moderately amusing. Angle tells them to sit wherever they want, and they choose the kids' table next to Angle's daughter. He assures her that they won't eat her, and she tells Ray and Devon that they suck. Tenay says that it's obvious she must be a regular viewer of Impact. Heh.

(5) Samoa Joe defeats AJ Styles and Chris Sabin

Once again Impact tries to make up for lackluster backstage shenanigans with a kickass main event. This week they are more successful than many. They do the full in-ring introductions to give this a big-match feel. Joe naturally takes control at the beginning of the match, but Sabin is able to use his speed and some cool chain wrestling to avoid the brunt of his office.

[Commercial Break]

We come back to AJ and Sabin rocking the ring. Joe comes in and takes them both out. He goes to hit a plancha on Sabin on the outside, but is cut off by Styles. Sabin hits a cool springboard roll up on AJ, and then a quick roll up on Joe. The action in this match is come significantly faster than I can type—if you can catch the replay you should probably watch this match for yourself. AJ locks in a sleeper on Joe, only to have Sabin lock a sleeper on him. This is, to the best of my recollection, the only resthold in this match, and it was a fairly cool spot. Joe takes them both out with a jawbreaker.

[Commercial Break]

All three are in the ring when we get back. Sabin goes for his Spin-kick DDT, and sort of whiffs on the DDT part but is able to convert it into a roll-up. Joe uses AJ as a weapon against Sabin and then nails him with a powerslam. The crowd is rocking the "this is awesome" chant, which is a bit premature but not totally absurd. AJ sets up a table on the outside, then yanks Sabin out to join him. They brawl around the table, and Joe goes for a Suicide Dive to take out both men. Sabin and Styles both dodge, and Joe gets nothing but table and a "TNA! TNA!" chant.

[Commercial Break]

Joe is still out, and AJ hits a wicked Brainbuster on Sabin. There's some back-and-forth action leading to a Styles Clash and a two-count broken up by Joe. Styles goes for the flip-over Inverted DDT but is caught by Joe with something that looked a lot like the Celtic Cross, which is a sequence I don't remember ever seeing before. Sabin breaks up the three count.

[Commercial Break]

We're past the 30-minute mark as we come back from the commercial. Sabin's on the top rope, but gets nailed by Joe's high flip kick. Styles nails a Pele on Joe, but when he tries to follow up with a splash in the corner he's caught by a Yurinagi and the Muscle Buster for the loss. Joe wins the check for $25,000 and a shiny medal.

Angle is irate that someone in his Alliance will have to wear a Turkey suit, so he and Tomko leave to go berate Styles. Somehow everyone is back at dinner.

[Commercial Break]

Hall & Nash bust into the Thanksgiving dinner and shove a pie in Karen Angle's face. Were they waiting for Kurt to leave? That's kind of wimpy. Lethal takes the pie-tossing as the start of a food fight. Awesome Kong just keeps eating.

In the ring, Cornette tells Styles that he has to put on the turkey suit or else he'll be fired. Tenay says that Styles wearing the suit is the payoff that's worth more than $25,000 to all of us--$25,000 being a little less than twice my annual salary. AJ can't quite get the legs on, and is told that if he doesn't he'll be fired. He complains that they don't fit, which seems like a legitimate complaint. Also, if they don't really fit AJ, what would they have done if Joe had lost? Once he gets the suit on Angle and Tomko come down to the ring. Angle says that AJ is embarrassing him, at which point they argue over the relative embarrassment causing of dressing up as a Turkey and a pilgrim. Joe's music hits, and he's followed by The Outsiders—nice that they come out to his music. Joe says that pilgrims and turkeys both look like jackasses to him. Angle says he'd rather be a jackass than a Samoan, and it's on. Team Joe cleans the Styles and Tomko out of the ring, and Eric Young comes out to help them tee off on Angle. Apparently he didn't much like the kids' table.

Where We've Been:
I really like the Turkey Bowl concept. Annual traditions are good opportunities for otherwise meaningless events to acquire significance—I'll never understand why WWE did away with the King of the Ring tournament. So far TNA has the annual King of the Mountain match in June and the Lethal Lockdown match in April, neither one of which is especially conducive to elevating new talent. I'm not sure if the Fight for the Right is going to stick around, but for now this could be harmless fun on what would otherwise be a fairly insignificant episode. Also, the idea of involving at least one tag team specialist in every match will provide a nice chance to give someone a single's push without relying on the overdone breakup storyline.

Where We're Going:
Poor AJ Styles. He tries to make Christian happy by recruiting Angle into the Coalition, and he ends up ticking off the top two heels in TNA. While I'm constantly amused by AJ's antics, could we be looking at a potential face turn? I'm always a fan of the fed-up lackey getting his due, especially when that lackey happens to be one of the best wrestlers in the world today, and an Angle-Styles feud is something I could get behind. I'd probably have more to say, but internet at my parents' house is a scarce and precious commodity.

Tonight's Show: Silliness with the Angles' vs. a half hour main event with essentially no down-time? It's a tough call, but I'd say it averages out to a solid B.

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