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KELLER'S TNA IMPACT REPORT
NOVEMBER 29, 2007
AIRED ON SPIKE TV
TAPED IN ORLANDO, FLA.
WHAT HAPPENED: 1ST HOUR
-The show began about three minutes past the top of the hour. Not sure why.
-A video showed highlights of last weeks issues between the Christian Coalition and the Angle Alliance. A graphic hyped that there's be a Coalition-Alliance Summit.
-Jeremy Borash introduced the show backstage. He overheard arguing behind a closed door. He opened it and inside a stairwell were Christian Cage and Robert Roode. At first Borash apologized for interrupting, but Christian said he wanted everyone to hear what he had to say. He told Roode that Booker T has arrived to try to take his spot. He said he has all the talent in the world, but he can't let Booker T leapfrog him. Roode said first it was Kevin Nash, then Scott Hall, and now Booker T. Roode said he'd take care of the Booker T situation. He said, "He has to learn that it pays to be rude." He said he'd find out tonight. Christian said, "Go get 'im, Bobby!" as Roode stormed away. I like how they went out of their way to explain the presence of a camera and a mic picking up their argument rather than WWE's policy that cameras just happen to be everywhere filming every conversation. It's a little detail TNA sticks to week after week and they deserve credit for going to the trouble. It makes everything seem more like a sporting event with a camera crew documenting it than a scripted series. That little touch of realism adds to the enjoyment of the show.
-Mike Tenay and Don West introduced the show briefly. Then Booker T and Sharmell headed to the ring to a cool remix of Booker's old WCW music. West said it's always exciting in TNA when a star of that magnitude makes his debut. He said everybody wants to know why he left WWE. The crowd chanted "They suck!" He said he left for many reasons. He said first he wants to say why he's in TNA. "I'm here because it's the best thing going." He said he wants to test himself against some of the hottest young talent and take TNA to the next level. "I'm going to make TNA the best damn wrestling organization in the world," he said. He said he is there to finish what he started 18 years ago and go out the same way he came in, "shocking and amazing the crowd, doing it like no one has done before me." He opened up his shirt and said he wants the TNA belt "right around my 32 inch waist line." He got more intense and said he's going to make everyone bow down and say, "Daddy, I've had enough." He said everyone's ass better be big enough to take some. That's what he said. He closed with, "Now can you dig that, sucka!"
Roode's music then played. He walked out onto the stage with Ms. Brooks. He said he is the future of TNA. He said he's been busting his butt for years, and too many "has-beens" like him from the other side of the tracks try to take his spot. When Booker tried to interrupt, Roode told him to shut his mouth and listen to him. He said he should prove himself tonight against him in a match. West said he'd like to see that. "How about I leave my skank in the back, you leave your skank in the back..." said Roode. Booker promptly interrupted and told him to watch what he says before he gets his ass whooped. Roode said, "Why don't you try it, punk." Good promo from Roode. Basic stuff, but he hit the right notes with the right intensity. Roode asked if his "little tramp" won't let him fight. Booker jumped out of the ring and headed toward Roode. Security intervened. Roode issued a challenge for a match later. Booker showed great energy and enthusiasm for being in TNA. Backstage, sources said Booker was in a fantastic mood and lifted everyone's spirits with his enthusiasm for being in TNA, and this interview reflected that.
[Commercial Break]
-Crystal interviewed Jimmy Rave, Christy Hemme, and Lance Hoyt. Christy complained that Jim Cornette wasn't going to do anything about a mystery LAX member hitting her. She said men aren't allowed to hit women around there. Hemme snapped at Rave.
1 -- ERIC YOUNG & GAIL KIM vs. CHRISTY HEMME & JIMMY RAVE (w/Lance Hoyt)
Young collapsed as the pyro exploded. Hoyt and Christy tried to give Edge and Vickie Guerrero a run for their money on the sloppiest tongue kiss of the month. There was a really awkward and lazy arm whip into the ropes by Young on Rave. Rave went for an armbar submission seconds later. Young reversed it, lifted Rave, and set him in the corner of the ring on the top turnbuckle. Hoyt yanked Young's legs out from under him yanked him crotch-first into the ringpost. Rave then dropkicked him in the race as the ref was distracted. Young ducked a Hoyt charge a minute later, then tagged in Kim. The women battled for a minute. When Rave entered the ring, Kim took him down with a head scissors off the top rope. Kim then rolled up Christy for the three count.
WINNERS: Young & Kim in 3:00.
STAR RATING: 1/2* -- Not very good.
-After the match, James Storm and Miss Jackie walked out, each with a six pack of beer. He said it was time for a rematch of the beer drinking contest.
[Commercial Break]
-They had a speed drinking contest with a 60 second countdown clock. West said you must be at least 21 and a highly trained professional to try this at home. Tied at three beers, Storm took a breather. Storm was actually drinking his, whereas Young was pouring half on his chest as he drank. Are there rules! Come on! Young won 6-5. As the ref gave Young the beer drinking title belt, Storm attacked him with a beer bottle across the face. Young bled heavily immediately. It just streamed out of his forehead like a faucet. Storm followed up with a chairshot. It was the worst blood flow since the Erich Kulas incident in ECW, which was quite a bit worse. Storm leaned over and slapped him, then took the belt back.
-Borash interviewed A.J. Styles and Tomko. He asked if everyone can get along. Styles said they'll all be working as a unit together. He said they're like a family, "like the Waltons." Tomko said, "John Boy, Kurt and Christian hate each other." Styles said they can talk it all out, then named some celebrities who had broken up and reunited. Tomko said, "Too much TMZ, too much TMZ." It seems really tiny, but a mention of something like TMZ in a good context like that makes TNA seem less stuck in the past and more contemporary and part of pop culture. TNA's Got Pop!
[Commercial Break]
-Tenay and West hyped the Turning Point PPV line-up. Then they went to a video package of the feud between Team 3D and the X Division.
2 -- TEAM 3D (w/Johnny Devine) vs. SONJAY DUTT & "BLACK MACHISMO" JAY LETHAL
After an early flurry by Team 3D, Lethal and Dutt sent them to the floor and then flew over the top rope and knocked them to the floor. They pulled out a table and set it up at ringside. They ended up brawling into the crowd. Lethal leaped off the rafter barrier over fans onto Brother Devon. Dutt then flew off the top rope onto Brother Ray. Both were well executed. They cut to a break as Dutt and Lethal celebrated with fans going berserk.
[Commercial Break]
Back in the ring after the break, Dutt hit Ray with a 450 and Lethal his a subsequent top rope elbow from another corner. They took turns taking shots at Devon. A replay aired of Lethal shoving Ding Dongs in the mouths of Team 3D. Back in the ring, Dutt flew off the top rope and did a somersault into a dropkick into a trash can propped against Devon who was hanging upside down in the corner. Cool spot. They each climbed to top turnbuckles with Devon prone in mid-ring. Devine hit Lethal with a kendo stick. Team 3D then gave Dutt a 3D for the win. After the match, Ray and Devon whipped Lethal and Dutt with nunchuckas. Alex Shelley and Chris Sabin made the save.
WINNERS: Team 3D in 10:00.
STAR RATING: *1/2
-Backstage Borash held the mic as Styles and Angle argued backstage. Styles said they've got to talk out their differences or they'll end up getting killed. Angle said he's with the Angle Alliance now, so there's nothing to talk about. Styles said Karen told him Styles could be on both teams. Karen said she said what she had to say to make things happen. Kurt said that meant Karen had to go talk to Christian then. They argued their way out of the room. Styles turned to Tomko and said things are going great. Tomko sarcastically agreed.
[Commercial Break]
WHAT HAPPENED: 2ND HOUR
-A video aired hyping the "1000 Tacks Match."
3 -- RELLIK vs. RHINO
Rhino's ring intro short video is pretty cool. Rhino ran to the ring as always. Tenay let viewers tuning in for the second hour know that Booker T would be wrestling Roode in the main event, plus the Coalition-Alliance Summit would take place. Tenay plugged "The Road to Turning Point" on Spike TV this Saturday night which will feature a replay of "The Shop of Horrors" match from Genesis between Black Reign and The Monster Abyss. Rellik took control early, including nailing Rhino with a stiff boot to the face followed by a two count at 3:00. Rhino came back with a spinebuster and a Gore out of nowhere for the sudden win. After the match, Black Reign ran in and attacked Rhino. Abyss made the quick save. Abyss ad Rhino stood together in the ring. Abyss emptied a bag of thumb tacks onto the mat.
WINNER: Rhino in 4:00.
STAR RATING: 1/2* -- Not a lot to it. They're not taking early care of Rellik's monster image, are they?
-Styles told Borash he was nervous and had to pee. Borash told him to breath deeply. Borash looked to Tomko to participate. Tomko shook his head no. Styles said he was feeling better. They all walked into Christian's locker room. Styles hugged Christian. Christian shoved him into a wall and told him he and Tomko really let him down. Christian asked Tomko what he was thinking. Tomko replied: "You told me not to think." Great comeback. Christian said, "Is that right? You're going to stand here and point fingers? That's going to solve this problem." Christian told Styles he made a mistake by making him captain. He said he has had a moment of clarity and realizes that he doesn't need the two of them. He said the two of them need him, the champ. He said he hopes they're happy because as of this moment, the Christian Coalition is no more. Styles's eyes bugged out of his head. Christian said, "Go put on some lip gloss and go kiss Kurt's ass or something." Styles said he can have two bosses. He said he worked for his aunt and his dad when he was young. Christian said, "I'm not your dad." Styles said he looks up to him that way. Christian asked if he'd betray his dad like he did him. Styles offered to do anything, like rearrange his pictures on the wall. Christian told Styles to get Kurt so he can explain to him what's going on. Styles ran away and said he'd get Karen. Tomko told Christian that Kurt said he wouldn't meet with him. Christian muttered under his breath, "Son of a bitch." Everyone played their character really well there.
[Commercial Break]
-Styles sat at the head of a table with Christian, Tomko, and Karen. Borash was present, too. Styles asked Karen and Christian to shake hands. They hesitated, but did. Styles celebrated on top of the table. They all had a group hug at Styles's prompting. As they began to leave the room, Christian said he wanted to talk to Karen privately. The camera stayed behind. Christian grabbed Karen and told her that tonight he is going out there for one reason - to win. He said if she or Kurt try to screw him, it'll be the worse thing they've done. He said "nobody plays the champ." She told him to take his hands off of her. She said she understood and left.
4 -- ROBERT ROODE (w/Miss Brooks) vs. BOOKER T (w/Sharmell)
Booker T hook kicked Roode to the mat early. Then h applied a chinlock. They showed Sharmell clapping at ringside. Roode took control a minute later and held control as they cut to a mid-match break.
[Commercial Break]
At 9:00 Roode scored several two counts. Roode asked Brooks to hand him a chair. She hesitated. That gave Booker enough time to recover, duck the chair, and kick Roode to the mat again. Booker hit his signature Axe Kick for the win.
WINNER: Booker T in 10:00.
STAR RATING: *1/2 -- Basic stuff, but fine.
-After the match, Christian jumped Booker T, then hit him several times with a chair. Sharmell got into the ring. Christian backed her down. Kaz ran into the ring to make the save. Good to see him against after he was missing last week, one week after his main event against Angle. Kaz cleared the ring of the heels, then approached a recovering Booker. Booker hugged Kaz. West said he'd love to see a two-on-two tag match with those four at Turning Point.
-Crystal interviewed Scott Steiner. He in the eight-man tag match he has no friends and wants none. He called Crystal "Carmen." He demanded to know why he's not getting a title match. She told him to grab the briefcase with the contract for a title shot in it. Scott said, "Caroline, explain to me." She explained the rules. When she said one of the boxes had a "you're fired" slip in it, he said nobody has the guts to fire him.
[Commercial Break]
-A video aired hyping the Gail Kim vs. Awesome Kong match at Turning Point.
-Tenay and West again ran down the Turning Point line-up this Sunday.
-The four ring introductions took place for the four-way main event.
[Commercial Break]
5 -- ABYSS & SAMOA JOE & KAZ & SCOTT STEINER vs. CHRISTIAN CAGE & KURT ANGLE & A.J. STYLES & TOMKO
Styles was so excited about Christian and Angle being in a match with him at once, he leaned to get a tag and fell over the top rope into the ring. That was pretty funny. Styles tagged in, but rather than face Steiner, he tagged right back out. Steiner took Tomko down with a hard clothesline, then did some push-ups. Joe tagged in against Tomko at 2:00. Joe hit a running knee into the corner, then a kneedrop on the mat. They showed Scott Hall and Kevin Nash watching the match backstage. Kaz hit a high dropkick on Tomko as soon as he tagged into the match. Then he tagged in Abyss. West praised Kaz for being reborn lately. Angle and Abyss fought at ringside at 4:00. Styles took some shots at Abyss, also. When he tried to throw Abyss into the ring, he couldn't do it. He asked for help from Tomko. At 6:00 Steiner got a hot-tag in and he suplexed all four opponents one right after another. Steiner lifted Christian onto his shoulders, then Kaz dropkicked him. Kaz then took Angle down with a flying kick for a two count. Styles made the save. Christian gave Kaz a low blow. Christian then kneelifted Kaz off the ring apron to the floor.
[Commercial Break]
Christian chopped Kaz after the match in the corner. They showed a clip of Angle and Christian arguing during the break with Styles trying to play peacemaker. At 12:00, Angle scored a two count on Kaz. Angle tagged in Tomko. Kaz surprised Tomko with a tornado DDT out of the corner. Kaz then hot-tagged Joe. Joe set up a Muscle Buster on Christian, but hit a snap powerslam instead. Styles intervened, but Joe knocked him down with legwhip. Angle gave Joe an Olympic slam from behind. Abyss surprised Angle with a Black Hole Slam. Tomko lifted and slammed Abyss. Steiner then jumped in and knocked Tomko to the mat. Kaz hit Christian with the Wave of the Future. Styles flipped off the second rope with an inverted DDT. As Styles celebrated, Joe applied a rear naked choke. Christian broke that up. Joe kicked Christian. Christian set up an Unprettier, but Styles hit a Pele Kick to break it up - but it his Christian by mistake. Joe clotheslined Styles to the floor, then gave Christian a Muscle Buster for the three count.
WINNERS: Joe's Team in 15:00.
STAR RATING: ***1/2 -- Very good eight-man tag. Really good TV match. Good timing on a lot of multi-person complex sequences.
-After the match, as Joe celebrated, Hall and Nash walked out onto the stage and applauded.
-A music video closed out the show.
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