By Wade Keller, Torch editor

KELLER'S WWE SMACKDOWN REPORT
NOVEMBER 30, 2007
TAPED TUESDAY
AIRED ON THE CW

WHAT HAPPENED: 1ST HOUR

-The show opened with footage of last week's Vickie Guerrero heel turn. Then the Smackdown opening aired. Michael Cole and JBL introduced the show and hyped the big main event of Edge challenging Batista. Also, Rey Mysterio & Kane vs. MVP & Big Daddy V.

-Edge came out for a show-opening promo. Cole said he wanted to know more about Vickie's motivations. JBL and Cole discussed how she's attracted to power. Edge soaked up boos and "you suck" chants in mid-ring, then talked about having to relinquish the title due to injury. He talked about his resume of accomplishments, then complained about how WWE management and the fans reacted. "No sympathy for me whatsoever," he said. "Not a phone call, not a letter, not an email, not even a measly text message. I'll admit, that hurt. I was actually contemplating retiring." He said he wasn't motivated to go through months of gruelling rehab if he wasn't appreciated.

He said then, a couple months ago, Vickie called him. He said he realized as G.M. she had a selfish motivation to check in on him because he was an asset. He said that they formed a bond over time, "and you can't control who you fall in love with." He said it was her idea to have him disguise himself as a cameraman and hide under the ring at Hell in a Cell. He said he made a statement when he bashed in Undertaker with that camera. He said he knew if he could eliminate Undertaker from the picture, he could eliminate Batista. "Four months of frustration poured out and it felt so good," he said. "But not as good as it felt to publicly proclaim my love for Vickie Guerrero." Edge then blamed Taker for attacking a defenseless woman rather than come after him. "What kind of sick, twisted monster are you, Undertaker," Edge said. He added that Vickie felt guilty that, as a result of the attack last week, she couldn't be present when he fulfilled "our dream" later. He said she was lying in bed watching this, probably with tears streaming down her cheeks. He dedicated his match to her, and got luvy-duvy as he said he'd be her "knight in shining armour." The crowd moaned and groaned. JBL said, "What a great man. When you see a stand-up person like that, it makes you proud to be part of this industry. Good performance by Edge. Nice week-two follow up to last week's angle, explaining how it all transpired.

There's still questions regarding Vickie's personality. For instance, did she crack recently? Was she always scheming? Why would she seem to disregard and discard all previous indications of having integrity.

-Clips aired of the Finlay-Hornswoggle-Khali angle last week. They went backstage to Finlay and Hornswoggle heading toward the entrance tunnel to face Deuce & Domino next.

[Commercial Break]

1 -- FINLAY & HORNSWOGGLE vs. DEUCE & DOMINO (w/Cherry)

During Finlay & Hornswoggle's ring entrance, Cole said he doesn't understand the Finlay-Vince McMahon relationship including Vince matching Finlay against Khali at Armageddon. Finlay began the match. Hornswoggle ran under the ring and came out the other side and yanked Domino to the mat, then he held up a fake rat and scared Cherry. As D&D cornered Hornswoggle in the ring, the was distracted as Finlay KO'd Domino with the shillelagh. He tagged in Hornswoggle who hit a frog splash for the win. Cole said, "There's something intriguing about this team of Finlay and Hornswoggle." That was just a strange thing to say.

WINNERS: Hornswoggle & Finlay in 3:00.

STAR RATING: 1/2* -- Not much to it. Fine for what it was.

-A video aired with clips of Mark Henry destroying Undertaker, after which Edge cashed in the Money in the Bank to pin a prone Undertaker to win the World Title. JBL called Edge "arguably the greatest of all time." It's quite early to be jumping to that statement.

[Commercial Break]

-A commercial aired for the three hour special 15h Anniversary Raw.

-Jamie Noble interrupted a photo shoot with Michelle McCool. He referred to the photographer as a "picture-taker." That was funnier than it had any right to be, but his delivery is good because he said it as if loaded with pride for knowing such a big, multi-syllable word like that. McCool brushed him off. He bragged about beating Chuck Palumbo last week. McCool called it an upset. Noble took exception and said he wished he beat him quicker. Palumbo walked up behind Noble and asked if he was serious. He said last week was a fluke and everybody knows it. He said he can't wait to get into the ring with him later. Noble said he shouldn't cash his eggs before they hatch. Noble sometimes breaks into doing Dana Carvy doing George H.W. Bush. Noble told Palumbo that lightning is going to strike twice.

2 -- C.M. PUNK vs. KENNY DYKSTRA

Cole said Dykstra could move up the ladder with a win over Punk tonight, and begin to live up to his self-proclamation of being a future Hall of Famer. Cole called Punk "a bona fide superstar." Punk opened with some roundkicks. Dykstra responded with a knee and threw Punk to the floor. Punk kicked Dykstra as soon as he stepped onto the ring apron, then took the match back into the ring. Dykstra then began working over Punk's left arm. Punk sold it well and they kept it interesting with constant attempts to either escape or shift leverage. Punk came back and hit a running knee and a bulldog for a near fall at 4:00. After a brief comeback by Dykstra with a surprise dropkick, Punk hit the Go 2 Sleep for the clean win.

WINNER: Punk in 5:00.

STAR RATING: *1/4

[Commercial Break]

3 -- BIG DADDY V (w/Matt Striker) & MVP vs. KANE & REY MYSTERIO

Cole described Big Daddy V as a 500 pound mastodon. That's Vince McMahon wording. Wasn't Vader always called a mastodon, too? MVP took a breather a minute in, so Rey dove off the apron onto him. They cut to an early break.

[Commercial Break]

Daddy V gave Kane a belly-to-belly after the break for a two count. At 9:00 Rey tagged in and went on a flurry of offense against MVP.

WHAT HAPPENED: 2ND HOUR

Striker tripped Rey coming off the ropes, leading to MVP taking control of the match. BDV tagged in, pressed Rey over his head, spun around, and then threw him into the air. Rey, though, landed on his feet. (Cool spot; one of those moves that nine year olds watching will be talking about with their friends this weekend.) BDV responded with a side slam immediately, then tagged in MVP who scored a two count. At 13:00 Kane got a hot-tag and showed good energy as he beat down the heels. Then Kane and Rey came off separate top turnbuckles at MVP. Rey then hit a 619 and a springboard splash for the win.

WINNERS: Rey & Kane in 14:00.

STAR RATING: **1/4 -- Good match. Better than it had any right to be, actually, but even Kane and BDV positioned themselves to play to their strengths well.

-Another video package aired on the Edge-Vickie alliance.

[Commercial Break]

-Cole and JBL were shown on camera. They threw to clips of Edge vs. Batista June 3 at One Night Stand in a cage.

-Anastacia interviewed Batista about facing Edge later. She asked if he was concerned that he's never defeated Edge in a World Title match affected his preparations. Batista said he's not thinking about it. He said he's thinking about tonight. He said he'd send Edge to the hospital with Vickie where they can recuperate together.

-Cole plugged the THQ Smackdown vs. Raw videogame. They showed Edge spearing Batista, then a clip of Batista giving Edge the Batista Bomb. I still like Pong, Pitfall, and Donkey Kong myself.

[Commercial Break]

4 -- JAMIE NOBLE vs. CHUCK PALUMBO (w/Michelle McCool)

Cole said Noble is the guy in the bar who runs his mouth and you think you can knock him out, but he actually turns out to be tough. Cole then bragged up that he's been in a couple bar room brawls in his day. Cole will never cease trying to be "cooler" than he is. Whether true or not, it just comes across like he's not comfortable with himself. Palumbo dominated most of the match. However, Noble moved out of Palumbo path on a big boot attempt, then he schoolboyed Palumbo and with a yank on his jeans, scored a three count. Noble blew a kiss to McCool afterward.

WINNER: Noble in 4:00.

STAR RATING: *

-Vince McMahon made his first appearance of the show. He chatted with Khali handler backstage. He asked him to do his Hornswoggle imitation again. He did it. Vince seemed amused until he added, "That's your son, with all due respect." He asked him to imitate his uncle next. He didn't want to, but Vince talked him into it. It was a stereotypical accented imitation. Then he imitated Khali at Vince's request. Khali walked into the room at that moment and wasn't amused. More stuff aimed at nine year old boys.

[Commercial Break]

-Raw Rebound aired.

5 -- BATISTA vs. EDGE - World Title match

They went through formal ring introductions to create a "big match" feel. It's just not the same without Jeremy Borash. Ref Charles Robinson held the title belt over his head. The match began with 20 minutes left in the hour. Batista overpowered Edge in the opening two minutes. Edge bailed out to ringside. They cut to a break.

[Commercial Break]

Batista continued to control the offense. After fighting at ringside, Batista threw Edge into the ring first. Edge got up and kicked Batista in the chest, then hit a neckbreaker to slow Batista. With both men down at 9:00, they cut to another break.

[Commercial Break]

Six of the first twelve minutes of the match were commercials. They showed Edge scoring a two count after a neckbreaker during the break. Edge had Batista contained on the mat. Edge climbed to the top rope, but he slipped a bit and Batista jumped at him and knocked him completely down to the ring apron. He then went on a flurry of offense. He shook the top rope and then set up a Batista Bomb at 15:00. Edge blocked it and DDT'd Batista. JBL declared, "We got us a new World Champion!" (therefore we knew we did NOT have a new World Champion). Batista kicked out. Edge set up for a spear. When he charged, Batista side-stepped him and then gave him a running powerslam. As he waited for Edge to rise, the lights went out and Taker's bell sounded. Taker appeared in the ring with his hand on Edge's throat. Edge rolled out of the ring quickly. Taker then gave Batista a chokeslam as Edge continued his retreat.

Out walked Teddy Long! He's back! He didn't get much of a pop. Heartless fans. Edge was right. Long stood over Edge and told him he deserves a rematch for the World Title. Long said he's going to say the same words to Undertaker that Vickie said to Edge last week. He read a sheet of paper and read verbatim what Vickie told Edge, reenacting her contradictory justification for "punishing Edge" by giving Edge a World Title match, so he added Undertaker to the title match at Armageddon to "punish him." The crowd got it and laughed along with Long's cleverness.

WINNER: No contest in 17:00 so Batista retained the World Title.

STAR RATING: **1/4 -- A lot of the match didn't air, and the lack of finish hurt the rating, but what aired wasn't bad.

FINAL THOUGHTS: Solid show. Smackdown is underrated right now and it's time for people who wrote it off to give it another viewing or two. It's still aimed at a younger audience in certain ways than Raw, ECW, or Impact, but there's enough storyline substance and character depth with solid booking to be a show worth your time lately. It's a fun, satisfying, relaxing couple hours of WWE-style entertainment. Not spectacular in any way, but much improved most weeks lately over its previous level of virtual irrelevance with bright spots few and far between.

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