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KELLER'S WWE RAW REPORT
DECEMBER 3, 2007
LIVE FROM CHARLESTON, S.C.

WHAT HAPPENED: 1ST HOUR

-The show opened with cartoony recap of Chris Jericho's challenge to Randy Orton, then a more seriously presented recap of Ric Flair vs. Orton ending with Jericho's distraction.

-Chris Jericho came out to his full ring intro. He did something he shouldn't do, which is imitate Santino Marella in an attempt to be funny since Santino, by definition, is more funny than any imitation of him can be. He said he manipulated Orton "like a puppet." He said after Raw went off the air, he got the answer he wanted. He said he then felt a "tingle in his pants" - his cell phone vibrating in his pocket. They went to a clip, previously a WWE Mobile Exclusive, of Orton telling Jericho "Yes!" after Raw last week. "You screwed the wrong guy," he said. "You're going to save the WWE from Randy Orton? The question you need to ask yourself is who is going to save you from the single worst beatdown of your life." Jericho told fans to get out their cell phones and text their friends, as there will be a new WWE Champion at Armageddon. Not much crowd response.

Orton's music played and he walked down the ramp with the WWE Title belt. Orton said he granted him a title shot because he knows he can beat him. He said Jericho hasn't beaten anyone in two years (hey, what about Santino!), while he's beaten Shawn Michaels, Triple H, and John Cena. Jericho interrupted and said he used to brag about beating The Rock and Steve Austin on the same night to become the first Unified Champion, but in 2007 it doesn't mean a damn thing. (Someone wrote that for him who believes that.) Jericho said he will beat Orton for the title at Armageddon and there isn't anything funny about that. They had a staredown. Jericho blinked first. Orton said he doesn't like Jericho one bit and he's tempted to wipe the smirk off his face without breaking a sweat. Jericho said, "I thought you'd never ask." Ask what? They dropped the mic and Jericho took off his vest.

William Regal interrupted the staredown. He said they can't go at it because they'd be giving away the main event at Armageddon. He said he has a better idea. He said they each get to choose the other's opponent - anyone off the roster. Regal asked Orton immediately who his pick was. Orton said, "Umaga." That was easy to see coming. Regal asked Jericho. Fans shouted their picks. Jericho said his choice was someone he's faced multiple times before, someone who's superkicked his head over and over - Shawn Michaels. Regal said, "Consider those matches done." Good set up for the rest of the show. There wasn't much heelish about Orton, though. He was pretty much a straight-forward, stand-up guy.

-They showed Maria and Mickie James getting ready backstage.

[Commercial Break]

-Ross and Lawler plugged the TV main events.

1 -- MARIA & MICKIE JAMES vs. "GLAMAZON" BETH PHOENIX & MELINA

WINNERS: Phoenix & Melina when Phoenix pinned Mickie in 2:00 after a fisherman suplex.

STAR RATING: 1/4* -- Really short. Mickie deserves better than being squashed like that.

-Todd Grisham interviewed Michaels regarding the Orton match. Michaels said the bad news is the title isn't on the line, but the good news is the superkick is legal. Mr. Kennedy appeared on the monitor behind them. He interrupted and told Michaels that he needs to be thinking about his match against him at Armageddon. He said the more things change, the more they stay the same. He said he is about to experience something that might break his heart. Wouldn't it be classic if Scott Hall showed up to job to Kennedy? Maybe he watched the Shawn Michaels DVD this weekend and got nostalgic - and received an offer from Vince McMahon he couldn't turn down.

[Commercial Break]

-Kennedy said he invited three of his closest friends to visit with him this week so he can learn more about Michaels the wrestler and the person. He began by introducing Marty Jannetty. The Rocker music played and out walked a fake Marty Jannetty. It was a pretty funny imitation of Jannetty. He said next was his opponent from WrestleMania X in what some call the best ladder match of all time. Out walked a terrible imitation of Razor. It was odd to hear Ramon's intro music on Raw in 2007, though. They even brought out the old pryo shooter, which was a pretty funny touch. Kennedy held the mic up as the guy said, "Hey, yo." Kennedy said, "Yeah, that's all you go. Thanks for coming, by the way." Great line. That may mark the first time EVER that WWE has allowed TNA to be even vaguely references on Raw. Can anyone else remember any other time there has been on-air proof that WWE is even aware of TNA? Kennedy said next was "Big Daddy Cool" Diesel. Out came a bad Diesel imitation to Diesel's old music. Kennedy then said it wouldn't be complete without the man himself. Out came a guy doing a pretty good Michaels intro dance with a hand-held sparkler. He didn't look much like Shawn, but he had his whole intro routine down nicely, although was laying on the flamboyance pretty thick. Pretty funny, actually. In a way, this is funny because it's WWE showing a sense of humor about itself and its past. It's also a good subtle salespitch to relive that era with the new Michaels DVD.

Kennedy asked Big Daddy Cool what one word sums up HBK. He grunted, "Egotistical." Razor said, "Chump," then threw a toothpick at him. Marty said, "Traitor." Kennedy walked up to "HBK" and said his word of choice is "loser." He said after he faces him at Armageddon, he'll have to think of a different profession. That prompted the real Shawn Michaels to walk out. Ross said, "No impostor. No winks 'r' us." He said Michaels doesn't find the whole charade amusing. Michaels superkicked the Razor, Diesel, and Jannetty impersonators. Then he looked the HBK imitator in the face. The fake dropped to the mat and rolled out of the ring. He must've been chosen because he can dance, not bump. Kennedy made a move toward Michaels, but Michaels signalled for a superkick, so Kennedy bailed out, too. They ended with a brief staredown with Kennedy looking on from ringside.

[Commercial Break]

-Vince McMahon finished up a cell phone call. He said headlining next week's 15 Anniversary Raw will be Hulk Hogan. Coach said Trish Stratus, too. McMahon brought up Mick Foley. Coach said Eric Bischoff and "Stone Cold" Steve Austin. Hornswoggle interrupted the conversation. Vince sat on the floor and chatted with his son. Vince told Hornswoggle next week would feature the first-ever in-ring McMahon family portrait. He told him to be sure to clean up. Vince told Coach to kneel down with them. Vince said Finlay isn't there tonight, so he's wondering what's going to happen when he faces Carlito and Coach in a no-DQ two-on-one match later. Coach maniacally laughed. Vince told Hornswoggle, "As a McMahon, you better be resourceful." Coach said, "Good luck, kid." Hornswoggle noticed that Vince's phone fell out of his pocket. He decided to call someone with it.

-Back at ringside, Ross wondered who Hornswoggle was calling. They went to a clip of Regal last week announcing to Jeff Hardy and Triple H that they'd face each other at Armageddon.

-In a locker room, Regal walked up to Triple H. Triple H asked him what's going on with him making him face Hardy. He asked what his ulterior motive is. Regal said the winner gets a WWE Title match at the Royal Rumble. Triple H looked upset, actually. Regal said McMahon told him he built his career on beating people he despises, by taking that hatred and turning it into aggression toward his opponents, but he doesn't hate Hardy. "If you don't mind me saying so, I think you actually respect him a little bit," Regal said. Triple H said if it comes to being WWE Champion again, he would Pedigree his own mother or grandmother and even his own father-in-law. Regal got a little bug-eyed as Triple H walked away. Lawler chuckled at the father-in-law line, then plugged Hardy vs. Snitsky.

-They showed Umaga heading toward the entrance tunnel. Not much about Flair so far on this show. They're hardly treating the angle that was the centerpiece of last week's show as something worth following up on this week.

[Commercial Break]

-Ring intros took place for both Umaga and Jericho. They went to a wide shot of the crowd and they were giving him almost no reaction. It's kind of eerie how much it seems the fans so far are taking a wait and see attitude with him. They managed to get through that entire first hour with merely two minutes of wrestling in the ring.

[Commercial Break]

-A commercial aired hyping that C.M. Punk must choose to face either Mark Henry or Big Daddy V tomorrow night on ECW TV.

WHAT HAPPENED: 2ND HOUR

2 -- CHRIS JERICHO vs. UMAGA

Jericho and Umaga were brawling at ringside, joined in progress after the break. Ross said Jericho dove over the top rope onto Umaga at ringside. Back in the ring, Jericho applied an armbar while throwing some elbows to the side of Umaga's face. Umaga came back with some forearms and then a nerve hold. Jericho cried in pain. Jericho avoided a corner splash by Umaga, then dove off the top turnbuckle with a flying forearm to the back of Umaga's head. Both men were slow to get up. Jericho hit a Lionsault, which Ross just called a "springboard moonsault." Is he avoiding using the old name for the move? It still doesn't look like it hurts. It led to a two count. Umaga dove at Jericho, but Jericho moved, then gave Umaga his knee-skull-cracker Code Breaker move. Orton ran in and kicked Jericho in the ribs before Jericho could follow up. The ref called for the DQ. Orton gave Jericho an RKO. Fans chanted "You suck!" at Orton.

WINNER: Jericho via DQ in 6:00.

STAR RATING: * -- Nothing special.

[Commercial Break]

3 -- CARLITO & COACH vs. HORNSWOGGLE

Coach and Carlito waited for Hornswoggle on their knees while laughing. Hornswoggle whispered something to Lillian. She said, "You made a phone call? You want me to say it?" She then said Hornswoggle has hired protection. Out came the APA - JBL and Ron Simmons. They immediately attacked Carlito and Coach. Simmons gave Carlito a spinebuster. JBL tossed Coach around. Lawler said, "This is some serious protection." Ross said this looks like a preview of the 15th Anniversary Raw. It was deemed a no-DQ match by Vince McMahon, so this APA attack was totally legal. JBL gave Coach a Clothesline from Hell, then APA dragged him to the corner for a Hornswoggle splash for the win.

WINNER: Hornswoggle in 2:00.

STAR RATING: n/a

-After the match JBL plugged his weeknight appearances on the new Fox business cable network. He took all of the mic time and it upset Simmons. When he plugged his commentary on Smackdown every Friday night. He again pulled the mic away. Eventually Simmons grabbed the mic, paused, listened to the fans shout "Damn," and then said, "Damn!" himself.

-Grisham interviewed Snitsky backstage. He gave a brief generic promo that fits his persona. He said inflicting pain is his pleasure.

[Commercial Break]

4 -- JEFF HARDY vs. SNITSKY -- IC Title match

Snitsky controlled the first several minutes including a double underhook. Hardy came back at 4:00 with a Whisper in the Wind for a two count and a Swanton for a three count.

WINNER: Hardy in 4:00.

STAR RATING: 1/2* -- Pretty bland. It's hard to make Jeff Hardy seem bland, but Snitsky did.

-As Hardy began to celebrate, Snitsky gave him a big boot, then he pounded his chest. Snitsky then grabbed a chair. Triple H walked out with his sledgehammer. Snitsky fled. Hunter kicked the chair out of the ring and stared at a huffing and puffing Snitsky. Triple H stood behind Hardy with the sledge hammer, but when Hardy turned around, he offered Hardy a hand to help him up. He said a few words to Hardy about their PPV match, then left.

[Commercial Break]

-The Smackdown recap aired. Then Ross and Lawler hyped the Armageddon PPV line-up. It's not going to help Raw ratings that the Patriots-Ravens game is so tight well into the second half.

-Jillian Hall began signing poorly to Vince a Christmas song. Regal told Vince his daughter was on her way. Vince said he wanted to know the minute she arrived.

-Michaels was shown getting ready for his match backstage.

[Commercial Break]

5 -- SHAWN MICHAELS vs. RANDY ORTON

The crowd was just dead all night, even for these two early on. At 3:00 Michaels went for an anklelock. Orton screamed in pain and reached for the ropes. Michaels dragged him back to the center. Orton finally reached the bottom rope to force a break. He rolled to the floor and they cut to a break.

[Commercial Break]

They returned to punches and chops being exchanged. At ringside, Michaels went for a superkick on Orton, but Orton ducked, and Michaels KO'd the time keeper. Orton checked on him, giving Orton time to recover and kick him as he re-entered the ring. Orton beat on Michaels for two minutes. Michaels fought back at 11:00 and scored a two count with a backslide. Michaels went to the top rope and came down with a flying elbow. As he stomped the mat to signal Sweet Chin Music, Kennedy ran out to ringside. Michaels dove onto him at ringside and pounded away at him. They brawled and tumbled into the crowd. The ref counted Michaels out. Orton

WINNER: Orton via countout in 12:00.

STAR RATING: **1/4 - Nothing special. They phoned it in.

-Orton declared himself the winner on the house mic. Jericho ran out and attacked Orton. He attempted to apply a Lion Tamer. Orton scooted out of the ring.

-Stephanie walked up to Vince backstage. He asked if she was upset with having to be in the family portrait. She said he's invited people who despise him, such as Steve Austin, Hulk Hogan, and even "mom." He said the person who was beat up more than anyone else in Raw history was him. Vince guessed Al Snow first. Steph said she doesn't want to see him get beat up again. She said she loves him and doesn't want him to go to Raw next week and put himself in that position. Vince shouted, "I love confrontation. That's what I love!" He said no one is going to stop him from naming the greatest Raw superstar of all time. He said if anyone doesn't want him on the show, they can go straight to hell. Steph shrugged and walked away. That was a lame final plug for next week's show.

FINAL THOUGHTS: Flat show. No references to Flair. Have they dropped the entire storyline already? Or is it on hiatus? This flat show could have used a follow-up. It's bad practice for WWE to spend so much time on a storyline one week where, if they do their job, fans get invested in it, and then just pretend it never happened a week later. It conditions fans to be tentative when investing in feuds or angles.

We welcome your 1-10 score and comments on this show for a "Raw Reax" feature in the Torch Feedback section of PWTorch.com. To contribute your thoughts on Raw, click here.

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