By Wade Keller, PWTorch editor

KELLER'S WWE SMACKDOWN REPORT
DECEMBER 7, 2007
AIRED ON THE CW
TAPED 12/4 IN "SOUTH CAROLINA"

-A well-produced video aired highlighting the ongoings with VIckie Guerrero and Edge in recent weeks, with a clever overlay of Vickie and Long, with Long's language on Raw earlier in the week paralleling Vickie's when he added Undertaker to a match against Batista and Edge.

-Michael Cole introduced the show. The graphic said it was in "South Carolina." No city. Strange. They didn't want to sound small-time, I'd guess. Assistant General Manager Teddy Long walked out. Cole said he had been named Assistant G.M. while Vickie was out injured. Neither Cole nor Long talked about his heart condition or his missing fiance, Krystal. Long said he was happy to make the anouncement at Raw for the main event at Armageddon - a triple threat match featuring Edge vs. Undertaker vs. Batista. He also announced that MVP would defend the U.S. Title against Rey Mysterio, who pinned him last week on Smackdown. Edge walked out onto the stage as Long was about to announce a third match. JBL compared Edge and Vickie to a power couple such as Bill & Hillary and a few other celebrity couples.

Edge walked in and acknowledged the heart attack. He said, "Even the heart attack couldn't stop you." Long said he's fine. It really is cheating fans by not explaining the disappearance of his fiance. Just a throwaway one-liner about her leaving him a difficult time hurt him, but he's moving on. Long said until Vickie is back, he's in charge. Edge complained about Undertaker beating up Vickie Guerrero, "an innocent woman." Edge turned to the camera and got sappy, telling Vickie how much he loves her. Edge interrupted and asked if he had nothing better to do than send love messages to Vickie. "Why don't you text her? What's wrong with your phone?" Edge complained about people undermining their relatonship. He said, "What we have is real." Long said he's glad they're in love, but quit wasting his time. Long is one to talk, given that wedding on TV and all a few months back. Edge wanted to know why he keeps coming up with creative ways to screw him. Edge said he stripped him of his title after fewer than 30 days. Long said the medical officials told him he wouldn't be able to defend it in 90 days, much less 30, and he was out four months. Edge moved on to complaining about having a third person - Undertaker - added to his one-on-one title rematch against Batista. He said Taker didn't deserve it. Long said his decision was final. He said Long owes him "a chance at redemption." Long told him he could face Kane, whom he blames for costing him the World Title four months ago. Long asked Edge to man-up. (Nice little ROH plug!)

-Cole and JBL plugged the MVP Lounge with special guest Michael Hayes and "Batista in action!"

[Commercial Break]

1 -- THE MIZ & JOHN MORRISON vs. JESSE & FESTUS

We got the full "Biscuits and Gravy" intro song this week, so that's always good. It's worth watching SD to just see Festus react to the bell ringing. Cole said Miz & Morrison have been great champs so far. In the end, after a flurry by Festus, Miz distracted the ref was Morrison knocked Jesse of the top rope leading to a quick three count.

WINNERS: Miz & Morrison in 3:00.

STAR RATING: 3/4*

-Elijah Burke was interviewed by Anastacia backstage about facing Batista. She asked how he felt about Batista saying in a WWE.com interview that Burke was the last thing on his mind. Burke said he's the most athletic and charismatically gifted athlete in WWE. He said, "When I defeat you Batista, we'll see if I'm the last thing on your mind." He delivered that line like someone pretending he had a chance to win, but who had no chance.

[Commercial Break]

-Clips aired from last July of Kane injuring Edge during Edge's "Mardi Gras Celebration."

2 -- BATISTA vs. ELIJAH BURKE

Batista stopped an early attempt by Burke to take control, but seconds later Burke took Batista to the mat with a dropkick to his legs. He followed with a swinging drop elbow for a two count at 2:00. Batista caught Burke mid-air with a spear followed by a Batista Bomb for a decisive pin.

WINNER: Batista in 3:00.

STAR RATING: 1/2* -- Meant to be a dominant win for Batista, and it was. It's tough for Burke, and ECW in general, to have a top contender for the ECW Title for months get decimated like that. JBL said, "Welcome to the big league, baby!" during replays of Batista's powerbomb finisher.

-Jamie Noble walked up to Michelle McCool signing ZZ Top's "Legs." He said they must've been thinking about her when they wrote that. She fired back with a short joke that seemed to go over his head. He said there are sparks between them. MIchelle said it's nausea. He suggested Pepto Bismol, then said she can come to the ring with him, not some moped riding loser like Chuck Palumbo. McCool said he's a real man and doesn't have to shop at Baby Gap. Noble was wearing a t-shirt that said,"Noble - 2; Pulambo - 0." The misspelling was funny. Noble asked for a date with her if he beats Chuck again. She agreed without any counter bet to give her something if Chuck wins to make it worth her while.

-A video aired hyping Chris Jericho challenging Randy Orton at Armageddon. I can't believe I'm saying this because it seemed Smackdown always got the semi-main event slot under Raw, but this Raw match should get top billing over the Smackdown three-way World Title match. The order will probably be based on which match has a clean finish with a babyface winning, but Jericho could use the image-rub of being in the final match on a PPV, whereas Taker, Batista, and Edge lose nothing by being second-to-the-top because they're so firmly entrenched as top tier stars.

[Commercial Break]

3 -- JAMIE NOBLE vs. CHUCK PALUMBO (w/Michelle McCool)

JBL said it's no longer a fluke when you win twice in a row. Cole said if Noble gets a date with McCool, it'll be the best looking women he's likely ever dated. JBL said she'd be the hottest woman anyone's ever dated because she's so beautiful. Noble went for a single-leg takedown, but Chuck didn't budge. Palumbo chopped Noble hard in the corner. JBL observed some fans in S.C. were cheering for Noble. Noble went to the top rope at 2:00. Palumbo caught him and overhead tossed him to the mat. Noble avoided an elbowdrop. McCool took off her top and that distracted Noble. McCool slapped him, but Noble then ducked Palumbo and schoolboyed him for another fluke-like three count.

WINNER: Noble in 3:00.

STAR RATING: 3/4* -- Fine for what it was.

-Cole and JBL plugged the new World Class Championship Wrestling DVD. JBL said WCCW was what made him want to become a wrestler. That should be a great DVD as the footage available is just awesome with so many great acts.

[Commercial Break]

WHAT HAPPENED: 2ND HOUR:

-The MVP Lounge began with MVP in mid-ring. MVP held up the DVD and said if fans can scrounge to buy it and learn about a promotion he loved while growing up. They went to a video package hyping the DVD including Triple H saying the lesson of World Class is "don't do drugs." Michael Hayes then walked out to "Badstreet USA." That is a song that represents such great times as a fan in the 1980s, if you were around for it, you can't help but get chills. One of the worst name-changes Vince McMahon ever insisted on was calling Hayes "Dok Hendriks," considering what Hayes meant to the industry over the years. MVP asked Hayes to have a seat. He said he'd prefer to stand. He said there is an important lesson on the DVD about repercussions from lifestyle choices. He said, "Six brothers, five dead." He said that tells everyone, "Say no to drugs." He said the Freebirds partied too in their day, and he was lucky to survive. MVP talked about that being the 1980s. Hayes said the 1980s were what they were, "and a lot of us are not around because of the way we were."

MVP said Hayes looks good for his age. The crowd laughed and Hayes took exception. MVP said he still seems to have his faculties. Hayes said he looks good, too. He asked how old he is. MVP said, "A lot younger than you." Hayes asked MVP if he can tell time. MVP said if he's not usually blinded by the diamonds on his watch, he can tell time. Hayes told him to show some respect and come up with it quick or his 20 year old ass will be in trouble with his 49 year old one. When Hayes told him not to cross a line, MVP said they should talk about his expanding waist line and receding hairline. MVP asked about his relationship with the Hardys; he said they're the sons he never had. Hayes said that might be overstating it, but he does have a long-term relationship working with them. MVP asked him how it felt when he got the weight of Matt Hardy off his shoulders when he decimated him. Hayes said the Hardys are their own men who handle their own problems, and when they come back, he'll have a huge problem to deal with.

Hayes said since he loves to talk about himself so much, how about they talk about him losing to Rey Mysterio last week and having to defend the U.S. Title against him at Armageddon. He predicted he'll lose the belt to Rey at the PPV. MVP said Hayes was the third wheel of the Freebirds and that Buddy Roberts and Terry Gordy carried him. Hayes said MVP has no respect for the big names of the past who paved the way like the Freebirds, the Von Erichs, the Ric Flairs, the Dusty Rhodes, the Ricky Steamboats, the Briscoes, the Funks. He told him that he doesn't have to worry about tomorrow, though, because he's about to whoop his ass today. MVP hit Hayes as Hayes took off his jacket. Hayes fired back and set up a DDT. MVP backdropped out of it, then gave him a Randy Orton style running kick to Hayes's head followed by the Playmaker. MVP leaned over and said he'll always be better than him. Rey Mysterio ran out and tackled MVP and punched away at his head. He tackled MVP into the couch, tipping it over. Cole said the set was "destroyed." Yeah, if a piece of furniture being tipped over qualifies as "destroyed." The coffee stable still had everything in place on it.

-Another clip aired of Kane injuring Edge in July.

[Commercial Break]

-Anastacia interviewed Batista. He said he doesn't have a good history against him. He said he's never defeated him when the World Title has been on the line. He said his battles against Undertaker have taken a toll on him mentally and physically, but it's also given him a lot of confidence. That's probably more true than just a storyline promo line. He said he feels battle tested because of it.

-Hornswoggle pretended to drive in Deuce & Domino's car. As Deuce and Domino discovered him and moved toward him angrily, Fit Finlay stepped up and said he wasn't hurting anything. Hornswoggle then yanked off the antennae. Deuce held Domino back.

[Commercial Break]

4 -- FINLAY (w/Hornswoggle) vs. DEUCE (w/Domino, Cherry)

Deuce nailed Finlay with a wheel kick to the face. Hornswoggle, meanwhile, sprayed Domino and Cherry with a fire extinguisher. As the ref scolded Deuce for threatening to hit Finlay with the fire extinguisher. Finlay KO'd him with a shillelagh for the win.

WINNER: Finlay in 3:00.

STAR RATING: 1/2* - I'm surprised they didn't give Finlay a clean win. Not that it matters a lot, but since when do they "protect" tag team wrestlers against pushed singles wrestlers?

-After the match, the Great Khali walked to the ring and attacked Finlay and tossed Hornswoggle to ringside. Khali squeezed Finlay's head with the vice grip. Finlay looked like a Halloween novelty severed head with his facial expression. Khali eventually released the grip and left the ring as Hornswoggle made his sad face.

[Commercial Break]

-Cole asked JBL if he thought Finlay would be in any condition to try to compete against Khali at Armageddon. JBL said it'd be the exact same result, ending with a vice grip. Then they ran down the line-up for Armageddon, which from a marquee standpoint is really strong and deep in utilizing the star power they have active on the roster at this time.

-Batista walked out before the match to comment on the match with Cole and JBL. After Edge's ring intro, Batista commented on footage of Edge interfering at Survivor Series three weeks ago in the Batista-Undertaker cage match. Edge asked the fans to show him a little respect and class before the match while he addresses "the love of my life, Vickie Guerrero." He looked into the camera and wished her a speedy recovery. He said she is in his thoughts and heart constantly. He said he loves her.

[Commercial Break]

-A commercial aired for the 15h Anniversary Raw Special on Monday, billed as "a family reunion like you've never seen."

5 -- EDGE vs. KANE

Kane's ring intro took place after the break. Batista continued his streak of uninspiring color commentary. He's the current wrestler least likely to have a future at the announce table. He wore a game face that's believable and intense, so that's good, but his short monotone humorous comments every 30 seconds just don't inspire. Kane worked over Edge's shoulder. JBL said injuries heal, but never at 100 percent.

[Commercial Break]

Edge had taken control of the match. Batista said he was impressed, but added that he himself is at the peak of his career and has never felt better or been more confidence. Edge caught Kane on the top rope at 9:00, but Kane knocked Edge to the mat. Edge ducked a flying clothesline, but when he charged Kane, Kane ducked and then set up a chokeslam. Edge escaped, but Kane hit him with a clothesline afterward. Kane hit Edge with a flying clothesline next, but Edge escaped a chokeslam attempt and yanked Kane throat-first over the top rope. Edge brought a chair into the ring. The ref called for an immediate bell even before he used it. Kane kicked the chair into Edge's face, then bashed him over the back with it.

WINNER: Kane via DQ in 11:00.

STAR RATING: *1/2

-After the match, Kane threw the ring steps into the ring. When Kane lifted the stairs, Edge gave him a drop toe hold, sending him face-first into the steps. Edge grabbed a chair, but Batista entered the ring to stop him. As Edge and Batista had a face-off, Undertaker's bell sounded. The lights went down. When they came on, Taker had Edge by the throat. Batista speared Taker. Cole said it was "perhaps some payback." JBL said that championship match will blow the roof off the arena at Armageddon.

We suggest these recent related articles...

PARKS'S WWE SMACKDOWN REPORT 10/8: Ongoing "virtual time" coverage of Thursday show, including Roman Reigns & Randy Orton vs. Bray Wyatt & Braun Strowman

METZGER'S ROH TV REPORT 10/4 & 10/7: IWGP World champ Okada vs. Roderick Strong main event, plus Briscoes vs. Time Splitters, more from "Field of Honor," Overall Reax

MCMAHON'S TNA IMPACT REPORT 10/7: TNA Title Series kicks off, Bound for Glory fall-out, more; Overall Reax