By James Caldwell, Torch columnist

WWE Smackdown on CW
December 14, 2007
Taped Dec. 11 in Boston, Mass.
Report by James Caldwell, Torch columnist

A pregnant person walked out on stage to start the show without any music. Oh wait, that's Edge in a giant hockey jersey. He welcomed out the love of his life, Vickie Guerrero. Teddy Long wheeled Vickie out on stage as the camera got a goof view of Vickie as she held her neck in pain. Edge talked about Undertaker taking out Vickie three weeks ago, then they rolled footage of Taker dropping Vickie with a Tombstone. JBL said there's excuse to put your hands on a woman ever. True that. Edge said it disgusts him. He told his baby that it was hard to see that, but she needs to verbalize it now. Vickie said she's not doing very well - physically and mentally. She said she needed some physiological help. (She will after this storyline.) Vickie said she returned to fulfill her duties at GM, as Teddy stood by with his hands folded. Vickie hyped the three-way World Title match at the PPV, then she booked all three men in action tonight on my show. Vickie booked Edge first. Edge pretended to be mad about not having time to warm up against his opponent. Vickie said her decision is final, then asked for a ref. She then demanded that Teddy return to the back to start Edge's entrance music. That solves it! The GM's have control over the entrance music! I've waited my whole life for that answer. Once Edge was in the ring, Funaki's music hit and Smackdown's No. 1 announcer strolled out. Teddy didn't start his music, though. Edge had a big smile on his face as Funaki walked out. JBL said Edge can't take him lightly, as anyone on the WWE roster is up to snuff.

1 -- EDGE vs. FUNAKI

Funaki had a quick burst of offense early, but Edge kicked him in the face and landed a spear for the easy win.

WINNER: Edge in 3:00. Meaningful, purposeful squash to advance the storyline. (3/4*)

After the match, Edge walked up on stage and played it up with Vickie. Edge then demanded that Teddy raise his hand in victory. Edge caught his breath as Vickie booked the rest of the matches. Batista vs. Kane in Last Man Standing. Undertaker vs. Mark Henry and Big Daddy V in a handicap match. Vickie asked to be excused so she could run her show. Teddy then reluctantly wheeled Vickie backstage under Edge's supervision.

[Commercial Break]

They showed a recap from last week when Jamie Noble won a date with McCool. In a WWE Mobile exclusive, they showed Chuck P. blowing up backstage. Michelle tried to calm him down, but Chuck told her to accept some of the blame for losing to Noble twice. Michelle and Kelly came out for a match. Michelle is sporting that big shiner over her left eye. Victoria led Kenny to the ring, then Layla rounded out the teams.

2 -- MICHELLE McCOOL & KELLY KELLY vs. VICTORIA (w/Kenny Kenny) & LAYLA

Michelle worked on Victoria early, then Kelly took a tag. The heels got the heat on Kelly, who escaped out of the fireman's carry position on Victoria and tagged to Michelle. Michelle cleaned house before Kenny tripped Michelle from behind. Victoria then covered Michelle for a two count. Chuck P. then showed up ringside and chased Kenny around ringside on his bike. Off the distraction from Chuk, Victoria rolled up Michelle for the pin and the win. Oops. Cole and JBL said Chuck cost Michelle the match-up.

WINNERS: Victoria & Layla in 3:00. More slow build toward Chuck's eventual heel turn. Standard women's match. (3/4*)

[Commercial break]

Backstage, Chuck and Michelle had a one-sided discussion with Chuck screaming at Michelle for everything being screwed up. Michelle said she's his friend and she's here for him. Chuck became more enraged and punched a hole in the wall. He looked up to the ceiling in frustration as Michelle freaked out. I like Chuck having more edge to him, but there are some of the domestic violence issues in play that makes it uncomfortable. Ringside, JBL and Cole were shocked. Suddenly, MVP was at the announce table sitting over JBL's shoulder. Cole then talked up the MVP vs. Rey Mysterio match at the PPV for the U.S. Title.

3 -- REY MYSTERIO vs. KENNY DYKSTRA

Kenny was the aggressor early on before settling into an arm lock on the mat. Cole brought up Matt Hardy's name and said he is still recovering. MVP said he is better than Hardy and he would beat him up if he would show his face. Rey came back with a dropkick to the middle rope, then he nailed the 619. Rey with the Drop the Dime on Kenny for the pin and the win.

WINNER: Rey in 3:00. Another tune-up match for the PPV. Fine action. (3/4*)

After the match, MVP jumped into the ring and the referee separated them. MVP complimented Rey on being a great competitor, then he held up the U.S. Title for Rey, then he handed the belt to Rey to have a good look at the belt. Rey grasped it, then handed it back to MVP. MVP extended his hand to wish him all the best at the PPV. Rey slowly reached out his hand, but declined the handshake. MVP said that's cool. Suddenly, Kenny came to his feet and distracted Rey, allowing MVP to nail Rey in the back of the head with the title belt. MVP then casually walked out of the ring while the ref checked on Rey. MVP is such a great heel, and he has a plausible explanation since he extended a hand to Rey, and Rey declined it.

[Commercial Break]

4 -- World Hvt. champion BATISTA vs. KANE -- Last Man Standing match

This really needs to be a great match, as LMS is one of their top gimmick matches that consistently delivers and has been well-protected to be used at big PPV matches. Kane quickly took control of the match on the floor. Back in the ring, Kane blocked a Batistabomb attempt and back dropped Batista to the mat. He then dropped Batista with a chokeslam and the ref started to apply a ten count. Batista got up in the corner at eight, then Kane made the mistake of going for ten punches. Batista countered with a Batistabomb, and Kane reached his feet at eight. Batista inexplicably went up top and Kane crotched him with a right hand blow. They battled up top and Kane landed big superplex in center ring. Both men reached their feet at a nine count, then they landed a dual clothesline leading to break.

[Commercial Break]

They returned with Kane sending Batista over the top rope to the floor. They battled on the floor and Kane gave Batista a big boot, sending him over the guardrail to the front row of fans. They returned to ringside and Kane picked up a chair to use as a legal weapon, but Batista speared him on the floor. Both men reached their feet in time, then Batista clubbed on Kane with body blows. Batista tried to whip Kane into the ring steps, but Kane reversed the whip and Batista went elbow-first into the steps. Kane screamed at Batista to stay down, but Batista slowly reached his feet. Kane took out his frustrations with a hard knockdown clothesline, then he cleared the announce table. Kane placed the ring steps below the announce table and went for a chokeslam from the steps through the table, but Batista blocked and gave him a spinebuster onto the table, but not through it. Suddenly out of nowhere, Edge showed up and speared Batista on the floor. The ref applied a count, but Batista got up and gave Edge a back body drop. The ref then counted a ten count on Kane, giving Batista the win.

After the match, Edge grabbed a steel chair and smashed Batista in the back. Edge smiled and gloated before leaving up the entrance ramp while Batista collapsed to the floor.

WINNER: Batista in 13:00. A great battle. Last Man Standing is a very useful gimmick when used properly and sparingly. One of Kane's better matches in the last few months. (***)

[Commercial Break]

They came back and recapped the end of the previous match. Backstage, Edge and Vickie shared a moment. Vickie suggested they share a bottle of champagne after Sunday. She needed some aspirin and coffee, though. Edge saw Teddy Long standing in the corner and told him to get the items immediately. Edge went back to his baby and said he loves her dearly. They shared a kiss before going in for the tonsil hockey. Ugh.

The Raw Rebound focused on Vince McMahon getting beat up and shown up on Raw.

[Commercial Break]

5 -- FESTUS (w/Jesse) vs. THE MIZ (w/John Morrison)

Early in the match, JBL said Festus reminds him of Bruiser Brody. This coming from the same announcer who used to predict championship gold for Chuck P. Miz dominated early on, but Festus caught Miz on his shoulders and knocked Morrison off the apron. He dropped Miz with a modified F-5 for the pin and the win.

WINNER: Festus in 3:00. Miz got a lot of offense. OK match. (1/2*)

After the match, Teddy Long strolled out looking upset. He walked past Jesse and Festus on their way out the ring. Miz and Morrison took off, then Teddy stepped into the ring and grabbed a mic. He read an announcement: the next match will feature the former World Hvt. champion Great Khali against Hornswoggle. Yeah, more of this silliness.

[Commercial Break]

Hornswoggle came out with his usual look of fear and exasperation when faced with yet another match against Khali. After Khali came out, Finlay entered the ring with shillelagh in hand and smashed Khali in the knee with it. The ref took the shillelagh away, then Finlay pounded on Khali. Translator dude threatened to attack Hornswoggle, but Finlay grabbed him and chucked him to the floor. Finlay turned around and found a fist to the head from Khali. He dropped Finlay with a two-hand bomb before standing over Finlay's fallen body as Horny cowered in the corner.

[Commercial Break]

Backstage, Jamie Noble found Michelle talking to Kelly. He jumped in with his assorted gifts and presents and flowers for their date. Jamie pulled the cap off Michelle's head and looked at her black eye. He demanded to know if Chuck P. did that, but Michelle and Kelly said it wasn't him; it happened over in Europe. Noble then wanted to make sure they were still on for the date. He said he got his favorite blue jeans pressed and cleaned. Michelle said they're still on, then Kelly suggested they go on a double date with her and Balls Mahoney. Michelle and Jamie looked at each other and both agreed not to taker her up on that offer. Noble said he got her a nice dress, then he told her to do whatever he needs to do to get ready. He left, then did a big "Whoo!" off camera. Ringside, JBL said, "Look out Waffle House!" Cole and JBL then broke down the PPV card.

Backstage, Big Daddy V and Mark Henry walked with Matt Striker for the main event.

[Commercial Break]

6 -- THE UNDERTAKER vs. MARK HENRY & BIG DADDY V (w/Matt Striker) -- handicap match

Taker went into his fighting pose as Daddy and Henry slowly approached him to accept quick jabs. The big men decided to charge Taker in the corner to subdue him in the corner, then Henry landed a big running splash. Taker fought back with a big boot to the face on Daddy, then he knocked Henry to the apron and landed his trademark running leg drop across the throat. Back in the ring, Taker walked into a bear hug grip from Henry. Henry had enough and shot Taker off to Daddy for a big Samoan Drop in center ring. Daddy then covered Taker for a two count. Kane fought back and went for a double chokeslam, but the big men fought him away and Daddy landed a big back elbow smash to the face. Taker then fought off Daddy and waited for Henry to run into his chokeslam grip for a big a chokeslam. Taker covered Henry for the pin and the win.

After the match, Daddy attacked Taker and beat him down to the mat. Henry landed a big splash. They then put Taker up in a dual torture rack. I've never seen that before. Taker was bent in half like a pretzel before they finally dropped him to the mat. Edge then strolled into the ring and surveyed the scene while wetting his lips in anticipation. Taker tried to catch his breath to close the show.

WINNER: Undertaker in 6:00. They did the C.M. Punk special where he wins a match, but gets beat down afterward. Fine action to sell the PPV and continue to build up Edge as a smart, conniving heel. (*1/2)

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