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KELLER'S WWE SMACKDOWN REPORT
FEBRUARY 8, 2008
AIRED ON THE CW

-The show opened with Batista's ring entrance. Batista is to Smackdown what Tomko could be to TNA with proper booking this year. Michael Cole stood in the ring to interview him. Cole looks strange in a suit jacket that massive. Batista talked about here being "a ton of monsters" in the Elimination Chamber. He said he's going to enter the Chamber and walk out to WrestleMania with his World Heavyweight Championship. MVP's music interrupted Batista.

MVP confronted Batista in the ring. He told Batista he may have been in the Chamber before, but never with him. Batista got super-intense and red faced and said he's going to whip his ass. Big Daddy V and Matt Striker walked out to interrupt Batista spazzing. Striker said Daddy V is the most dominant force in WWE. He said Daddy V will crush anyone in that Elimination Chamber. He talked about Batista being squished by Daddy V into the cage and then MVP's face being dragged across "two miles of chain." He concluded, "Daddy will do anything he wants because if you think about..." The Great Khali's music interrupted that creepy direction Striker was going. Khali, looking much less muscular, but still massive, walked out with Runjin Singh.

Khali pointed at Daddy V and mumbled something, I think, about tuna, computer games, and humanity. Singh said Daddy's talk is all futile. Then out came Finlay with Hornswoggle. Who would have thought in 2008 Hornswoggle would be on pace to make more TV show appearances than anyone else in WWE, including Vince McMahon. He said he came to fight. The lights went down and Undertaker's bell sounded. When the lights came back on, he stood in center-ring. The heels bailed out and just Batista and Finlay remained in the ring with Taker. Taker's eyes turned white and he moved his thumb across his throat.

[Commercial Break]

-A video aired promoting WrestleMania being just 51 days away. Cole and Coach plugged the six-man tag main event featuring everyone in the opening segment. Did they use the same script for both shows and just have blank lines to put different wrestlers in the same slots?

1 -- KANE vs. SHELTON BENJAMIN

Shelton, "The Gold Standard" if you haven't heard, proclaimed, "There ain't no stopping me nowwwww!" His pitch was a little off. Shelton ducked a Kane pnch at the bell and scored with some punches. Kane refused to be whipped across the ring. Kane hit Shelton with a basement dropkick Shelton attempted a comeback, but Kane cut it off wit a big boot to his face as he charged at him. Coach pointed out he's been in the with both of those wrestlers so he can speak to what it's like. FIve minutes in Kane hit a top rope clothesline. Shelton rolled out of the ring to temporary safety. Kane beat on Shelton at ringside for a few seconds, then knocked Shelton into the ring as the ref's count reached ten. Kane was counted out. Kane angry.

WINNER: Shelton Benjamin via countout in 6:00.

STAR RATING: * -- Okay match. Shocking to see Shelton spared a decisive loss to Kane, but it was the right move. It wouldn't have helped Kane any, but would have established Shelton means nothing still.

-Cole plugged that Vickie Guerrero would be a guest on The Cutting Edge later.

-A commercial aired hyping the big three matches scheduled for Raw the following Monday.

[Commercial Break]

2 -- CHUCK PALUMBO vs. JAMIE NOBLE (w/Michelle McCool)

Noble went after Palumbo at the bell, stomping and punching and chopping him aggressively. Palumbo fired back with a boot to the face, then grounded him and pounded him. Noble avoided a Palumbo shoulder-charge into the corner, giving him another chance to go on offense. After a headbutt, Noble dove at Palumbo and they both tumbled over the top rope to the floor. Coach asked if Cole thinks Michelle is really done with Palumbo. Cole said yes. Palumbo tried to climb back into the ring, but Noble dropkicked him back to the floor. Noble then climbed to the top rope and dove toward Palumbo. Palumbo side-stepped him and shoved him mid-air into his motorcycle. Back in the ring Palumbo gave Noble his finisher for the clean win, ending his losing streak against the pesky Noble. Cole said someting has happened to Palumbo in recent weeks, a change based on resenting Noble.

WINNER: Palumbo in 5:00.

STAR RATING: *1/4 -- Not very long, but good while it lasted.

-Afterward, Palumbo attacked Noble after the match and threw him shoulder-first into the ringpost. Then he picked him up and rammed him back-first into the ringpost. He kept beating on him at ringside for several minutes, with the announcers going silent for dramatic effect as Michelle called for him to please stop. He made crazy faces and rode his motorcycle to the back as Michelle cried at the fallen Noble's side. Good, intense segment with everyone playing their roles believably.

[Commercial Break]

-A video feature aired on WWE's expansion to China with a new satellite office and participation the Special Olympics last year with Mick Foley representing the company as an ambassador. It was give an award in China recently, and clips aired of the ceremony.

3 -- JESSE & FESTUS vs. DEUCE & DOMINO (w/Cherry)

We got the full version of "Biscuits and Gravy," so it's a good week. Jesse led Festus to the ring with a paper bag over his head. Coach asked what this was all about. Cole explained it to him, so Coach hasn't been watching the post-produced final version of SD the last two weeks. Festus entered the ring and said Festus has undergone psychological treatment from the best doctors to try to help his mood disorder. He presented the new Festus. He removed the bag. Festus looked exactly the same, with his pre-match face like it always looked. Cole and Coach said he looks the same. The bell rang and Festus transformed as usual and went aggressively after Deuce & Domino. Jesse looked good in his early offense. He tagged in Festus at 3:00 who planted Domino face-first for a pin. Coach said, "That's got to be it." It was. Doesn't he know the basic WWE announcer rule that you only say "that's it" if it's not?

WINNER: Jesse & Festus in 4:00.

STAR RATING: 3/4* -- Not a lot to it. Certainly there's not much being planned for the Deuce & Domino act with quick losses like this and no attempt to "protect" them. Jesse & Festus remain a fun mid-card tag act with some upward potential, but only within the largely inconsequential tag division.

[Commercial Break]

WHAT HAPPENED: 2ND HOUR

-Edge walked out to his full ring intro for a "Cutting Edge" segment. He carried his World Hvt. Title belt with him. Edge said his guest is "brave, selfless, and the love of my life." He showed Vickie taking the 619 fro Rey to protect Edge at the Rumble. Edge said, "With all due respect to Huey Lewis, that is the power of love. Now that is a perfect lame heel reference from Edge's character. He asked the crowd to show some respect to her as she walks to the ring. Teddy Long wheeled Vickie to the ring in a wheelchair. She managed to make her way into the ring. Coach complimented her hair for some reason. Edge told Teddy he needed some private time with his "Vickie-kins" and his "snuggle-muffin." He said every day with her is like Valentine's Day, but next week on Smackdown he has a very special question to ask her. He said it's life-altering and the kind of question a man asks his lady when he's in love. He said Rey Mysterio owes her an apology and called him to the ring.

Rey came out to the ring. Vickie demanded an apology and slapped Rey as he began to talk. She said she is tired of his excuses. He tried to explain himself, but she slapped him again and said he disgusts her and makes her sick. Edge then punched Rey to the mat and stomped on him. Rey made a quick comeback and went for a 619. Edge ducked and went for a spear. Rey leapfrogged the spear and Edge almost ran into Vickie. Rey then went on the attack, but Edge caught him a bit boot - the move of the night, apparently - and pounded on him on the mat. Edge grabbed a chair at ringside. Rey dropkicked it into Edge's face. Rey then gave Edge a 619 as Vickie watched from her wheelchair. Rey then dove onto Edge at ringside. Rey's music played, officially marking the end of the fight. Basic, solid stuff. Vickie's facial expressions have gotten better and fit the tone of her character and Edge's act. Rey approached Vickie in the ring and said, he almost forgot to say he was sorry. He didn't seem to mean it. He dropped the mic and walked out as Vickie sneered at him.

[Commercial Break]

-Cole and Coach were shown at ringside talking about the Edge-Rey brawl. Then they ran down the No Way Out PPV line-up.

-Cole plugged the SD six-man TV main event, then they went to the Raw Rebound.

[Commercial Break]

-The latest new interview lady interviewed Edge and asked if he's going to ask the question every woman wants to hear and propose to her. Edge looked at her and seemed baffled by the question. He asked how that was possibly her business. He told her to tune in next Friday to find out.

4 - CURT HAWKINS & ZACH RYDER vs. JIMMY WANG YANG & SHANNON MOORE

Coach again said 2008 is going to be Yang's year. Coach also believes this is going to be Mitt Romney's year and Roger Clemons's year. Wang began the match. Moore finished, losing pretty much out of nowhere to Hawkins.

WINNERS: Ryder & Hawkins in 3:00.

STAR RATING: 1/2* -- Not much to it.

[Commercial Break]

-After ring intros for MVP, Batista, Finlay, and Undertaker, they cut to another break. They spared us the intros for Khali and Daddy V again.

[Commercial Break]

5 -- MVP & GREAT KHALI (w/Runjin Singh) & BIG DADDY V (w/Matt Striker) vs. UNDERTAKER & BATISTA & FINLAY (w/Hornswoggle)

The match was joined in progress with Finlay taking a beating in the corner by the heels. Cole noted that Taker has never wrestled in an Elimination Chamber match. At 5:00 Taker did the rope walk to Daddy V, then seconds later did the same to an intervening MVP.

[Commercial Break]

Taker and MVP were battling after the break. Batista soon tagged in. Chaos broke out at ringside with Taker chasing down Daddy V and Khali as MVP and Finlay fought elsewhere at ringside. Back in the ring, Khali took over on Finlay. When MVP tagged in against Finlay, Hornswoggle pounded the mat to encourage a Finlay comeback. He hot-tagged Taker who went to work on MVP. After a Taker legdrop, Daddy V entered and gave Taker a Samoan drop. Batista followed up with a spear. Khali entered with a chop. Finlay hit Khali with his shillelagh and knocked him out of the ring. Taker then chokeslammed MVP. Coach noted that the ref had just thrown out the match. The show ended with all three heels at ringside, and the three faces standing in the ring leery of one another.

WINNER: No contest in 15:00.

STAR RATING: **1/4

-A commercial aired plugging the potential proposal of Edge to Vickie.

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