KELLER'S ECW ON SCI-FI REPORT
FEBRUARY 12, 2008
TAPED IN HOUSTON, TEX.
-After clips of last week's Gulf of Mexico match aired, they went to the ECW opening.
-Joey Styles and Tazz introduced the show. Chavo made his way to the ring. They went to a clip of what happened after ECW went off the air last week with Chavo getting help from a scuba diver to get out of the gulf. Once he reached land, he shouted, "I'm still champion! I'm still champion!" Chavo was itching himself, as if he got bad rashes from being in that water. Chavo is at his best when he's whining and complaining, so he had the crowd eating out of his hands here, laughing as he talked about how he has a bad sinus infection and bad headaches last week. He said the lights are too bright for him. He said he has a bad rash he can't get rid of and was stung by a jelly fish. He said Punk knows he can't swim, so he almost killed him last week. He said, though, that he is a Guerrero and a Mexican warrior.
G.M. Armando Estrada came out and told Chavo he cannot allow him to wrestle tonight, but he would not deny the fans a chance to see C.M. Punk wrestle. He said it would be a tune up match against Mark Henry. Chavo scratched himself and laughed. Chavo then let out a fake sneeze to show how he just isn't ready to wrestle tonight.
[Commercial Break]
-A recap aired of Stevie Richards's sitdown interview last week where he talked about his surgeries on his throat.
1 -- STEVIE RICHARDS vs. RORY FOX
Richards finished off Rory with a corner splash and a double underhook DDT.
WINNER: Richards in 2:00.
STAR RATING: 1/2* -- Just fine. Richards looked to be in good shape. It's strange to see him getting pushed, but it's a good way to keep a little link to ECW's past along with Tommy Dreamer. He's one of those likable guys who never gets a serious push, but is always around and available as a utility guy. Maybe they'll finally do something with him meaningful.
-A video aired hyping Mark Henry.
[Commercial Break]
2 -- KELLY KELLY vs. LAYLA (w/Lena Yada)
Styles said there's still hard feelings about Kelly winning the best body contest three weeks ago on ECW. Styles went off again on Layla yanking Kelly around by her hair, saying that's insulting and won't lead to a pinfall. Kelly made a comeback with a top rope crossbody block for a two count. She followed with a leg driver for the win.
WINNER: Kelly Kelly in 3:00.
STAR RATING: 1/2* -- Passable action this week from the women.
3 -- KOFI KINGSTON vs. MIKE KNOX
The competition steps up this week with an ECW V.2 original Mike Knox returning to ECW rings. It must've been tough to watch his ex in the previous match in such a skimpy outfit, huh? Oh, the memories. Kofi avoided a big boot by Knox and then applied a side headlock. Knox attempted to backdrop out of it, but Knox wouldn't budge. Kofi monkey flipped Knox to the mat. Styles called him a "whirlwind of unconventional offense." Knox came back with a boot to the face in the corner, then he legdropped the back of Kofi's head and settled into a chinlock. Kofi made a comeback including a high standing dropkick, a standing legdrop, and his 360 round kick (the name for this standard tae kwan do kick) finisher for the win.
WINNER: Kingston in 4:00.
STAR RATING: 3/4* -- Competitive mach that made Kofi look like he beat someone substantial, but he didn't take enough of a beating that it made him look weak. Just another step in his slow build as a signature part of ECW's undercard with good upside.
-Styles and Tazz hyped the entire No Way Out line-up.
-The ring intro took place for Morrison with The Miz.
[Commercial Break]
4 - MORRISON (w/Tommy Dreamer) vs. TOMMY DREAMER (w/Colin Delaney)
Before the match, Morrison requested the fans pipe down because he is the Guru of Greatness and the Tuesday Night Delight. Miz said he's the Real Deal of Sex Appeal. I can't believe that guy was hosting Smackdown a couple years ago doing the same act, but someone thought it was a babyface routine. They bragged up being WWE Tag Team Champions and in a snarky tone called their opponent and his buddy the two biggest losers in ECW. Dreamer went on offense early including a leap off the ring apron onto Morrison on the floor. Gravity seems to pull Dreamer to the floor much faster than all other humans. He doesn't have a lot of spring in his launch. Back in the ring, thanks to interference from Miz, Morrison took over. Miz got good heat at ringside from the fans as Colin cheered on Dreamer while half his body was wrapped like a mummy at ringside. Dreamer knocked Miz off the ring apron, but got caught with a sidekick afterward followed by a round kick off the ropes. Delaney stood with his back to the ring and Morrison gave him a cheap shot. Morrison set up Dreamer, but Dreamer reversed it into a DDT for a three count. After the match, Delaney entered the ring. Miz and Morrison attacked both, knocking Dreamer to the floor and then concentrating on Delaney with their double-team finisher.
WINNER: Dreamer in 4:00.
STAR RATING: 3/4* -- Another short, but decent match.
-Backstage a worker told Mark Henry his match was up next. He yelled that it won't be a match, it'll be a funeral.
[Commercial Break]
5 -- MARK HENRY vs. C.M. PUNK
Before the match, Styles said, "Mark Henry has arms like legs and legs like people." It's a good line. Before the match began, Chavo Guerrero's music played and he walked to ringside. Tazz said he deserves credit for heading to the ring with body aches and a sinus infection. Henry took it to ringside a minute into the match, ramming Punk into the ringpost. At 2:00, Henry refused to break a choke against the ropes so the ref DQ'd him. Punk then nailed Henry with an enzuigiri, sending Henry to the floor. Punk yanked Guerrero into the ring and gave him a GTS.
WINNER: Punk via DQ in 2:00.
STAR RATING: 1/2* -- Basic way to end the show and the ECW hype for No Way Out. Nothing memorable, but by-the-numbers basics aren't bad.
LATEST PRO WRESTLING TORCH NEWSLETTER #1039 (17 PAGES)
This issue begins with a cover story by Wade Keller who attended Brock Lesnar's first UFC victory on Saturday night in the semi-main event in front of a record-setting crowd in his hometown. Keller's BBL looks at Lesnar's place in MMA and in what ways he seems more comfortable than ever... Bruce Mitchell's Memo examines the dilemma of Chris Benoit and the Hall of Fame... Sean Radican reviews the two latest TNA DVD releases... In-depth coverage of the TNA Hard Justice PPV including Keller's match report with star ratings and the newsletter-exclusive Roundtable Reviews... Jason Powell's "Page 2 Buzz" with scoops and insider analysis... WWE Newswire, TNA Newswire, and ROH Newswire with insider news, big story analysis, and notebook tidbits... Plus Keller's reports on Raw, Smackdown, and Impact, the Top 5 Stories of the Week, and more....
