KELLER'S WWE SMACKDOWN REPORT
FEBRUARY 15, 2008
PRETAPED IN HOUSTON, TEX.
WHAT HAPPENED: 1ST HOUR
-The new Smackdown HD opening montage aired, the Michael Cole and Coach introduced the show as the cameras paned the crowd and pyro blasted.
1 -- BATISTA vs. MVP
MVP bailed out early in the match when outpowered by Batista. MVP returned to the ring and kicked Batista in the stomach to take over for a minute. Batista came back and hit a running boot to MVP while sitting in mid-ring. MVP side-stepped Batista and threw him face-first into the middle turnbuckle. It went back and forth for a while until Batista took MVP's legs out from under him and eventually locked on the igure-four leglock. Coach said he's never seen Batista use the figure-four before. MVP reached the bottom rope. MVP rolled to ringside and they cut to a break.
[Commercial Break]
Back live Batista was still on offense, a change of pace from the norm where the heel is usually in control after the break. MVP quickly took over, though, and rammed Batista into the ringpost, then began working over Batista's left arm. MVP scored a near fall at 12:00 after another kick to the face. He went back to working on Batista's left arm. MVP tossed Batista to the floor, then whipped him into the steel steps. He rolled Batista into the ring and scored another two count. Cole and Coach talked throughout the match about these two and the other four in the Elimination Chamber. Batista wrapped Batista's arm around the ringpost, then yanked him by the arm into it shoulder-first. Batista blocked it a second time and yanked MVP into the post instead. MVP recovered quickly, but Batista caught him and rammed him back-first into the ring apron. MVP went after Batista's arm again in the ring, then rolled up Batista with a yank on his tights for a two count. Afterward, MVP threw Batista shoulder-first into the ringpost. Cole said this match is all about momentum headed into Sunday. Batista caught a charging MVP with a spear. Then he threw him shoulder-first into the ringpost twice and then hit the Batista Bomb for the clean pin. Afterward, MVP insisted that Justin Roberts, the ring announcer, proclaim that he is still the U.S. Champion. Then MVP limped toward the back.
WINNER: Batista in 16:00.
STAR RATING: *** -- Really nice effort from both guys. They both logically and consistently worked over a body part. They each convincingly and consistently sold. There was a clean pin, also.
-Backstage, Zach Ryder and Curt Hawkins offered to be there for Edge tonight. Edge said he had to do things alone. He looked nervous, like he's trying to convince himself to be brave.
[Commercial Break]
-The John Cena "No Shortcuts to Your Goals" spot aired.
2 -- ZACH RYDER & CURT HAWKINS vs. DEUCE & DOMINO (w/Cherry) vs. SHANNON MOORE & JIMMY WANG YANG vs. JESSE & FESTUS
WWE is really dedicated to get a classic car to an arena each week for Deuce & Domino given how they basically are jobbers. When Cole said Moore kicked out at two, Coach tried to give Cole hard time for saying he kicked out after two, sarcastically asking if he kicked out at six. It was failed attempt to give Cole a hard time. There are many things to give Cole a hard time about. That's not one of them. Festus was his normal self, so the continued psych treatment hasn't done any good. After the match, the heels attacked the winning team, but Festus didn't help defend his partners because the bell rang to stop the match, so he reverted to his calm self. Jesse rang the bell at ringside to set Festus. Festus cleared the ring like a madman. Jesse then rang the bell again to calm Festus.
WINNERS: Wang & Moore & Festus & Jesse when Yang pinned Deuce in 3:00.
STAR RATING: 3/4* -- Short, but the post-match angle with Festus was funny. Festus plays his role really well.
-They cut backstage to Vickie Guerrero being made up by the make-up artist. Teddy Long stood behind her with the expression broken soul body language. Vickie said she hopes Edge asks the big questions. She wanted to be made perfect for this special night.
[Commercial Break]
3 -- VICTORIA vs. MICHELLE MCCOOL
Chuck Palumbo rode to ringside and revved his motorcycle to annoy, distract, and intimidate McCool. It worked. It's funny how the totally cool motorcycle revving was a babyface gesture a few months back when Palumbo returned, but now it's seen as annoying and heelish. McCool complained to Chuck, giving Victoria a chance to sneak in a Widow's Peak for the win.
WINNER: Victoria in 2:00.
STAR RATING: 1/4* -- Not a lot to the match, but the motorcycle intimidation was effective at getting Palumbo over as playing mindgames.
-After the match, Palumbo entered the ring, stepped on her arm to hold her down, then talked down at her saying he told her he was going to beat up her boyfriend and make her watch. He stepped on her hair and continued to trash talk her and told her to get used to his new attitude toward her.
4 -- UNDERTAKER vs. BIG DADDY V (w/Matt Striker)
The series of matches between people in the Elimination Chamber continued with this battle. When Taker jumped onto the ring apron to complain to the ref, Taker ran and knocked him down. Daddy V used that chance to jump Taker from behind and shortly thereafter toss him to ringside where Striker took a cheapshot. A minute later Taker took Daddy V down with a flying clothesline and then his top rope walk into a forearm. He followed up with a DDT for the three count. Undertaker locked Striker in his new submission hold afterward, prompting frantic tapping by Striker.
WINNER: Undertaker in 5:00.
STAR RATING: 3/4* -- That was actually passable. It's one of those matches you might be predisposed to hate, but it was just fine for a short, decisive win by Taker against a bigger wrestler. Almost entirely across the board, WWE wrestlers are looking less musclar than tey did six months ago. There are a few apparently genetically gifted exceptions.
WHAT HAPPENED: 2ND HOUR
[Commercial Break]
-Edge was shown pacing nervously backstage. Michael Cole and Coach were shown on camera briefly, then they threw to a video package on the Elimination Chamber followed by Cole and Coach running down the line-up for No Way Out. Kane's ring intro took place.
[Commercial Break: It's hard to imagine Smackdown didn't lose some second hour viewers by having two commercial breaks and a video package and PPV plug in the opening 11 minutes of the hour when a lot of new viewers are shopping around for a show to get invested in.]
5 -- KANE & C.M. PUNK vs. SHELTON BENJAMIN & CHAVO GUERRERO
Odd foursome to be put in a tag situation. There's no link between either pair of partners. Cole got revenge on Coach, giving him a hard time for saying Shelton and Chavo "don't team up hardly ever." Cole said, "I don't think they've ever teamed together before tonight." Coach said, "That's what I said." Cole responded, "You said hardly ever, actually." Punk hot-tagged Kane at 4:00 and he took Chavo down with several clotheslines. Kane hit a sideslam, then hit his top rope clothesline. Shelton broke up the three count. Kane choked him in response. Chavo and Shelton went for a double-team, but Kane took Chavo down with a clothesline and Punk springboarded into Shelton with a clothesline. Punk then gave Chavo his GTS for the win.
WINNERS: Kane & Punk in 7:00.
STAR RATING: *
-A video feature aired hyping Steve Austin's new DVD.
[Commercial Break]
-The Raw Rebound aired.
[Commercial Break]
-A recap aired of the Finlay-Hornswoggle-Vince McMahon "Kiss My Ass" segment on Raw.
6 -- THE GREAT KHALI (w/Runjin Singh) vs. FINLAY (w/Hornswoggle)
Coach pushed hard how fans must watch the Elimination Chamber this Sunday if they've never seen it before. What about those of us who have seen it before? Khali absorbed some early forearms by Finlay and methodically knocked him around the ring and ringside. Finlay yanked Khali's neck across the top rope, but when he entered the ring, Khali clotheslined him. Khali then applied a long nerve hold in mid-ring. Cole said, "Imagine what that must feel like." I have a suggestion. Imagine what it's like to watch it. Khali gave Finlay a big boot as soon as he escaped. When he charged in the corner, Finlay moved and then climbed to the top rope and leaped off into Khali's big hand. Khali lifted and slammed Finlay to the mat hard. Hornswoggle ran into the ring and hit Khali with the shillelagh. Singh went after Hornswoggle, but Hornswoggle kicked him away. Khali then grabbed Hornswoggle and shoved him hard to the mat. Finlay then hit Khali with the Shillelagh in the arm and then the head. Khali went down. Finlay made the cover and got the pin.
WINNER: Finlay in 6:00.
STAR RATING: 1/2* -- Man, there was a time Khali doing a job meant something. Not that the shillelagh wasn't used, but it's not the type of devastating foreign object blow that seems like it should take down the giant. This show is hardly building up a sense of jeopardy for the Smackdown babyfaces in the Chamber on Sunday.
-Long wheeled Vickie toward the ring. Her wheelchair legs were wrapped in red and white boas or feathers or something. They cut to the ring with an elaborate display of flowers bouquets and balloons.
[Commercial Break]
-Edge walked to the ring. He said he's been in many big matches, but for the first time in his life he's really, really nervous. He said he's called the Rated-R Superstar, but tonight it stands for "really, really in love." The wedding song played as Long wheeled her to the ring. She had a mild-wide grin of anticipation on her face. Long stoically helped Vickie to her feet and into the ring. Edge held the ropes open for her. Long folded the wheelchair, then slipped it into the ring and set it up for Vickie to sit in again. Edge signaled for Long to leave the ring. Edge said before he asks her the special question, he wants to sing her a passage from a song, a close personal friend, and a member of the Canadian Music Hall of Fame. Edge sang, "Baby, you're all that I want, when you're lying here in my arms, I'm finding it hard to believe, we're in heaven. And love is all that I need and I found it there in your heart, it isn't too hard to see, we're in heaven." He was badly out of tune; Vickie reacted like it was the greatest thing she had ever heard. Edge said the World Heavyweight Championship isn't the most important thing in the world to him. He said he's found something more important. He got down on one knee and said he wants her to make him the luckiest man in the world. "Vickie, will you be my wife" He then presented her a ring. The crowd booed, but Vickie said she would. They made out as the violins played.
Rey's music played. He stepped out and said it disgusted him. He said now that Vickie is getting married, he hopes she's dropping the Guerrero name because as of now, she's disgracing it. Edge got upset and insisted Rey apologize to his fiance. Rey told him to take it easy. He said if Rey doesn't apologize, after No Way Out, he'll be in a wheelchair, not Vickie. Rey entered the ring as the crowd chanted "619, 619." Rey spoke in Spanish, then told Edge in English he's done apologizing. He said if he loves Vickie so very, very much, we'll see how much he loves her after he beats him at No Way Out and becomes the new World Champion. Re fought off an Edge attack and gave him a quick 619 followed by an attempt at a springboard Thesz press. Edge ducked and Rey landed on Vickie, knocking her backward in her chair and knocking her out. Rey didn't seem overly remorsful. Edge ran to her side and checked on her as the show ended with Rey's music playing.
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LATEST PRO WRESTLING TORCH NEWSLETTER #1045 (20 PAGES)
This issue begins with a cover story by Wade Keller on Jake Roberts's indy show meltdown... Keller's BBL looks at WWE's decision to put all three World Champs in a Triple Threat on the MyNetwork debut of Smackdown... Page 2 Buzz with Jason Powell features tons of insider news items from WWE and TNA... Part three of the "Torch Talk" with Lanny Poffo... Pat McNeill's "At the Bar for Unforgiven" column... In-depth coverage of the TNA No Surrender PPV including the newsletter-exclusive Roundtable Reviews from Keller, Mitchell, and McNeill... Plus WWE Newswire, TNA Newswire, and ROH Newswire, Keller's reports on Raw, Smackdown, and Impact, the Top 5 Stories of the Week... PDF EXCLUSIVE features include the Greg Parks's review of the new Mr. Perfect DVD and Brian Hoops looks at pro wrestlers with Olympic backgrounds........
