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By James Caldwell, Torch columnist

TNA Impact on Spike TV
February 28, 2008
Taped Feb. 25 in Orlando, Florida
Report by James Caldwell, Torch columnist

The show opened with the end of a CSI episode. Only about a minute of over-run, though, leading to a recap video package on the A.J. Styles-Karen Angle honeymoon, Jay Lethal asking Val out, and all sorts of other stuff from last week. This week, it's "Take my wife...Please".

Backstage: Kurt Angle was doing some squat thrusts while Borash counted along. There was a knock at the door, but Kurt told Borash to screw the door. Karen then barged in and calmly talked to Kurt while pouring her breasts...er...her heart out to Kurt about their relationship. Karen very quietly said they need to go back to when they were dating to find their love. Kurt laughed at her, and told her to keep her mouth shut because she's just lovey-dovy about her other husband. He reminded Karen that he said two things the day they got married: I do, and I'm the boss. She then gave him the line about Kurt not realizing what he has until it's gone. Kurt asked if she was talking about her or the World Title. Kurt then told her to get the heck out of his locker room. She quietly walked off.

Announcers: Tenay and West plugged what's going down tonight.

In-ring: Booker T. came to the ring in a suit. Tenay talked about the feud between Booker and Robert Roode, then Booker took the mic and said he has something to get off his chest. He said he's tired of all the back-jumping because he does things face-to-face. Booker called out Roode to face him in the middle of the ring. Roode's music hit and West screamed that Roode is finally coming out. Instead, Peyton Banks showed up on the entrance ramp and she calmly walked to the ring. Booker said Peyton doesn't look like Roode, then Peyton said Roode isn't here, but he's on his way to the building. After channeling Matt Morgan's WWE gimmick, Peyton delivered a slap to the face and Booker stared at her like she was nuts. Traci Brooks suddenly stormed the ring and a cat fight was on between Brooks and Peyton. Booker cheered them on until security hit the ring to separate them. During the brawl, Traci's shirt conveniently flipped up, revealing a black bra. And off to a video package on Team 3D.

Video package: They showed Team 3D's quest to cut weight. They showed a video of them going into a restaurant, where Johnny Devine filled up on cake and other assorted desserts. Brother Devon grabbed some ribs from the buffet, but Ray told him to put the ribs down. The buffet chef shouted, "275, 275, 275!". Ray looked at the camera and asked whoever was holding the camera if he/she told the chef about the weight gimmick.

[Commercial Break]

[Q2]

Backstage: Jeremy Borash was with Scott Steiner, Petey Williams, and Steiner's freak. Petey spoke first about Steiner's kind gesture last week. He said he has an X Division Title match thanks to Steiner. He thanked him and thanked him and thanked him. Steiner then cut a promo on Petey for making mistakes and being a short, squatty Canadian... oh, and having a heart of a lion. Steiner then cut a promo on their opponents of Lethal & Dutt, doing the Rikishi routine on Roode's name for Sonjay Dutt.

In-ring: Scott Steiner came to the ring with Rocka Kahn for a tag match. Petey Williams then came out on stage during Steiner's music and posed on the stage. Steiner then walked back onto the stage and fixed Petey's poses. Sonjay Dutt came out first for his team and held out the tambourine for the front row to give him money. Man's gotta pay for the hotel and trans. Dutt then grabbed So Cal Val by the hand and gave her a kiss on the hand. Lethal came out next and Val excitedly clapped it up for her man.

1 -- SCOTT STEINER (w/Rocka Kahn) & PETEY WILLIAMS vs. X Division champion JAY LETHAL & SONJAY DUTT

In the opening minute, the announcers played up the close relationship between Lethal and Dutt, foreshadowing future storyline twists. There was a suicide dive spot on the floor, and Val checked on her man while Rocka Kahn slowly walked over to check on Petey. Rocka kept walking toward Val with malice on her mind, so Val took off from ringside.

[Commercial Break]

They returned with Steiner dominating Lethal. He then knocked Lethal to the outside and Rocka took care of Lethal by throwing him into the ring steps. Rocka chucked Lethal back into the ring and Steiner went to work on Lethal again. Petey came in and Lethal quickly made a hot tag to Dutt, who went to work on Petey with a back elbow smash and spinebuster. He then nailed a springboard moonsault for a nearfall. The action broke down with people flying all over the ring. Lethal then went up top, but Petey shoved him off the top rope into the guardrail on the floor. Of course, the ref got distracted and Steiner cracked Dutt with a briefcase to the back. Petey then nailed the Canadian Destroyer on Dutt for the pin and the win.

WINNERS: Steiner & Petey in 8:00. Some good spots in this one that we haven't seen in a few weeks because matches have been going three and four minutes, but the usual TNA TV fare of referee incompetence, interference, and then the finish. (*1/2)

Video package: We rejoined Team 3D on Monday trying to cut weight. Devine led them to a candy shop where there were cookies and desserts everywhere. Ray said he found fudge. All sorts of fudge. Suddenly, 3D was caught with their mouths on the candy dispensers trying to eat as much as possible. Devine said they're only a few days away from the PPV, so they need to get serious. A few = 2. PPV = 9 days. In any event, Ray tried to leave with a ton of candy in his mouth, but Devine made him spit it out.

[Q3]

[Commercial Break]

Backstage: Jeremy Borash found Eric Young in a dark corner of the arena hiding from monsters. Borash reminded him that he has a ladder match for the drinking title, so maybe he needs to be more worried about that. Kaz then found Young and Young hugged him up. Kaz said he got his ass kicked last week, but he will kick ass next week. I honestly don't remember a single thing Kaz did last week. Kaz then pulled out some photos of monsters and tore down the monsters. He said they're all fake - Loch Ness Monster, Big Foot, Frankenstein, and Hillary Clinton. They're all alter-egos he said. This TNA political statement brought to you by Obama Girl. Kaz told Young to chin up and realize monsters aren't worth being worried about.

In-ring: Team 3D came out on stage. Ray rubbed his belly. He then rubbed Devon's belly. ... As Team 3D made their way to the ring, they went to a video from Wednesday of Ray talking to Devon about turning down BBQ. Devon told him to get out of his way because he wants that BBQ. He slammed a gate door and gave the password of "Testify". Devon got his hands on a plate of food, but Ray told him to put the food down. Ray then told the BBQ man that they can't buy their customary 500 pounds of beef anymore, as they need to stick to their diet.

In-ring: With Team 3D in the ring, Curry Man came out and they went into super cheesy mode with the wild camera shots and the commentary. This was followed by Shark Boy's entrance. Earl Hebner then brought the scale into the ring and told Team 3D they need to make weight. Devon got on the scale first and Hebner gave him the double thumbs down. Ray accused Devon of sneaking behind his back. Ray then approached the scale and got on. Hebner gave him the double thumbs down. Both men then stripped down to as little clothing as possible while still remaining decent with kids in the audience. Ray wound up in some Looney Tunes boxer shorts. Both 3Ders then removed the sock in their crotch that served as a crotchal-performance enhancement. Neither man made weight in their boxers. Enough of this. Let's go backstage.

Backstage: Karen Angle was near tears trying to figure out her marriage situation, then she hugged Borash and tried to get some consoling. A.J. Styles then stepped in and said wrestlers like Kurt fight for a living, so it sometimes it comes out in everyday life. That's a loaded statement. Karen said he isn't like that because he makes her feel special. Styles gave her a kiss on the forehead and said everything will be OK because he's going to talk to Kurt about their issues.

In-ring: Back to the ring, ref Slick Johnson raised the hands of Sharkie and Curry Man as the victors. Shark grabbed a mic, then they cut to a break.

[Commercial Break]

[Q4]

Random thought: Where's Crystal tonight? Usually she's been in five segments by now.

In-ring: Shark Boy cut a promo about not showing up tonight to get his hand raised by some dang referee. He called out any two opponents. Tenay & West. Hall & Oates. Fred & Barney. Rellik and Black Reign answered the challenge, instead, and we have a match.

2 -- RELLIK & BLACK REIGN DUSTIN RHODES vs. SHARK BOY & CURRY MAN

A minute into the match, Brother Ray came to ringside and distracted the referee. Devine then slipped into the ring and cracked Curry Man across the back with a Kendo Stick. Reign fell on top of Curry, but he only got a two count. Curry then hit a slingshot splash onto Team 3D on the floor. Kaz cleared Devine from ringside, then Shark Boy hit a Stunner on Reign for the win.

WINNERS: Rellik & Reign in 2:00. Doesn't matter what happened here. There was a more important post-match development to focus on. (n/a)

Post-match: After the finish, the action quickly broke down, with the heels ganging up on Shark, Curry, and Kaz. Devine struggled to slide a table into the ring, but he finally got the table into the ring. Eric Young then cautiously stormed the ring and tried to clear the heels. He got nervous when he saw the monsters, though. Young bailed when Reign and Rellik approached him, then he bolted up the ramp to the back. Kaz was left in a peril in the ring, and Ray gave him a top rope powerbomb through a table.

Backstage: Oh, there's Crystal. She caught up with Robert Roode, who showed up in the building. Roode said the legend of Booker T falls tonight.

[Commercial Break]

Announcers: Don West screamed through the promos for upcoming house shows.

Video package: They showed a video on the history of VKM, going back to 2002 when B.G. James debuted in Nashville. They went through the Three Live Crew, James Gang, and failed VKM gimmick against WWE as part of their history, leading to Kip turning on B.G. What's next for them?

Announcers: Tenay and West talked about the end of VKM. Tenay said next week will be the debut of TNA Rough Cut. West said TNA cameras will follow them 24/7 and we'll see unprecedented footage. So, we get to see Kip going through his closet to decide on which cheeky Torrie Wilson outfit to wear each week? Excellent.

In-ring: Robert Roode's music interrupted the Rough Cut plug, and he came to the ring with Peyton Banks. Roode cut a promo on Booker, as if Booker has been ducking him and not the other way around. So nice to see a legit heel on this show. Roode said it's no more running, no more hiding. He called out Booker to meet him face-to-face, man-to-man. He told Booker to meet his fist - the same fist that connected with Booker's wife. Booker had enough and stormed the ring in his dress pants. Roode and Booker had a Pier Six brawl in the ring, leading to a fight on the floor.

[Q5 -- second-hour]

Back in the ring, Booker landed clean blows and chops before dragging Peyton Banks into the ring. Roode caught Booker from behind, though, and nailed a DDT. Peyton pulled out some handcuffs and Roode cuffed Booker to the ropes. Roode then smashed Booker with right hands before taking off his belt. Roode snapped the belt, then Traci Brooks stormed the ring and tackled Roode from behind. Peyton yanked her down from behind, though, and choked Traci with a belt. Roode pulled out another set of cuffs and Peyton cuffed Traci to the ropes. The fans chanted, "You suck" at the heels. Roode and Peyton took turns whipping Booker and Traci as the announcers screamed through this. Security eventually came out and Roode slowly backed away from the ring before standing on the apron to survey his work. This was such a great angle with a great performance by Roode, but the announcers just wouldn't shut up. Utterly annoying how TNA produced the announcers to scream through an angle where they needed to be quiet and let the images tell the story. It's a freakin' TV show, not radio.

[Commercial Break]

Announcers: Tenay and West recapped the beating in the previous segment. Tenay said that during the break when security uncuffed Booker, he had never seen him more determined.

Video package: They showed a video on the Elevation X match, focusing on the first time it occurred with Rhino and A.J. Styles. Don West, Kurt Angle, Samoa Joe, Kaz, and Chris Sabin did commentary on the danger in the match. Good video, documentary-style.

Backstage: Crystal interviewed James Storm and Ms. Jackie Moore about the ladder match tonight. Storm complained to Jackie about her getting him into a ladder match because he's been out partying all night. Jackie told him to get over his fear. Storm cut a promo that he's not afraid of anything because he did all the big spots back in the AMW days. Jackie said it's OK for Storm to admit he's afraid. She said Young is afraid of monsters. It's OK for Storm to be afraid of heights, no biggie. Storm said she's not the one who's going to be 20 feet in the air for Elevation X, and she's not the one putting her life on the line in the match. Nice promo from Storm to establish the danger of Elevation X and give a reason why he's in a ladder match. Good work from Roode and Storm in the last two segments.

In-ring: James Storm came to the ring with Jackie Moore. Eric Young then came out with to defend his drinking title. Young checked ringside for monsters on the way to the ring. Storm then charged him on the ramp to start the match.

3 -- JAMES STORM (w/Ms. Jackie Moore) vs. ERIC YOUNG -- Drinking Title -- Ladder match

They brawled ringside with the ladder in play during the first minute. Time for a break with Storm in control.

[Q5]

[Commercial Break]

They returned with Young taking a superkick to the jaw, then Storm grabbed a ladder and rammed it into Young's face on the floor. He then kicked the ladder into Young's gut. Back in the ring, Storm started to climb a ladder, but he had second thoughts and decided not to make the climb. Storm then superkicked Young off the apron onto one of the ladders. Storm approached the mid-ring ladder and couldn't bring himself to climb. Jackie screamed at him to climb, even pushing him up from behind. Jackie went to the other side and climbed the ladder simultaneously. Jackie then pulled down the title belt and handed it to Storm. End match.

Post-match: Rhino quietly entered the ring from behind and waited for Storm to turn around before dropping him in center-ring with a Gore. Rhino then grabbed the drinking title and held it for the hard camera while in deep thought. Rhino then left with the belt.

WINNER: Storm wins drinking title in 8:00. OK, at least there was a back-story and plausible explanation for the female interference leading to the finish of the match, but yet another illegitimate finish to a TV match. (*1/4)

[Commercial Break]

Backstage: Borash was with Kurt Angle, who was prepping to face Kevin Nash for the first time. A.J. Styles then barged in and said he needs to talk to him about something really important. Styles said it's about Karen. He said Karen is all torn up and crying on Borash's shoulder. Kurt laughed it off and said she cries all the time. Styles defended Karen and said maybe it's time for Kurt to treat her with a little dignity and respect. Kurt said Styles obviously doesn't know the first thing about Karen because she's a bitch. He let that linger in the air, then Styles told him to take it back. Kurt asked if he's eleven years old or what. He laughed about taking it back, then playfully slapped Styles on the chest and left smiling.

In-ring: Angelina Love and Velvet Sky came to the ring. They're dressed to pick up the rest of the singles from the crowd that Dutt didn't get earlier. They showed a three-second clip from moments ago when Roxxi told Angelina that she's cursed and she shouldn't go to the ring. LoveSky did their crotch-burn ring entrance, then Women's champ Awesome Kong came to the ring with Raisha.

[Q6]

4 -- AWESOME KONG (w/Raisha Saeed) vs. ANGELINA LOVE (w/Velvet Sky)

The bell sounded and they attempted some comedy with the referee randomly checking the women for weapons. He tried to cop a feel on Angelina, but Angelina told him to check Kong. Kong was the wiser and intimidated the ref into simply checking her boots and gloves for weapons. The comedy continued with Angelina trying to lift Kong off her feet, but Kong simply stood there as Angelina desperately tried to execute a wrestling move. Kong shook her off and landed repeated blows.

Kong eventually missed with a corner splash and Angelina showed some offense, but Kong caught her in mid-air and gave her a backhand slap to the face. Kong surveyed the crowd, then nailed the implant buster. Kong finished the three-step combo with the Awesomebomb for the pin and the win.

WINNER: Kong in 4:00. Fine squash match. TNA Knockouts Division: the only place for clean finishes. (*)

Post-match: Kong and Raisha were still in the ring when ODB came out on stage sporting a crazy haircut. She took the mic and said that in ten days, they're going to find out who's the knockout of all knockouts. ODB said Gail Kim might be great, and Kong might be big and bad, but the two of them have nothing on her. Suddenly, Gail Kim snuck into the ring from behind and tried to attack Kong, but Kong rocked her with a chest bump. Kong went for the Awesomebomb on Gail, but ODB hit the ring and Kong pushed her away with chest bumps. Kong then smashed ODB with a clothesline.

Kong went for an Awesomebomb on ODB, but Gail ran off ODB's back into an enziguiri kick on Kong. Gail and ODB double-teamed Kong to get her over the top rope. Kong grabbed her right ankle after hitting the floor, then she tried to get back into the ring, but Raisha held her back to prevent more action. Gail and ODB were left alone in the ring and they each said they wanted the title belt at the PPV. So, apparently there's a three-way match at the PPV. I guess.

[Commercial Break]

In-ring: TNA World champion Kurt Angle came to the ring for the main event match against someone who hasn't even been on the show yet. A.J. Styles slowly followed out behind Angle, followed by someone else who hasn't even been on the show, Tomko. Hey, remember when Tomko meant something on this show before TNA realized he was getting too hot and decided to cool him off with the deep freeze? Kevin Nash then came out with Samoa Joe and Christian Cage. Don West said it's hard to believe this is the first time Angle and Nash have faced. And here's TNA giving it away on free TV with barely any hype on this show. Tenay referenced some non-existent pre-match comments from Nash that apparently didn't make air. So, we can get five seconds of Roxxi cursing Angelina, but we can't get a promo for the main event?

[Q8]

5 -- KEVIN NASH (w/Samoa Joe and Christian Cage) vs. TNA World Hvt. champion KURT ANGLE (w/A.J. Styles and Tomko)

Nash and Angle had a stare down to start things off, then Angle tried to cut Nash down with kicks to the legs. Nash fought back with a clothesline, taking Angle over the top rope to the floor. Joe and Tomko started brawling on the floor, then Styles and Christian traded blows. The whole deal broke down as referees tried to separate the extra men. They booted them from ringside, and Tenay said it will be one-on-one after the break.

[Commercial Break]

They returned with Nash missing with a big boot in the corner. Angle took advantage of the situation and started working on the left knee. Angle then slapped on the figure four and Nash fought off the pain while screaming in agony. Nash lasted a good two minutes in the hold before finally turning the hold over and reversing the pressure. Angle grabbed the bottom rope to break the hold, though. Suddenly, Nash came to his feet and gave Angle a desperation clothesline. Nash reached his feet and made his full comeback on Angle. He went for a powerbomb, but Angle rolled through and slapped on the anklelock. Nash escaped, though, and flipped Angle through the ropes into the ringpost head-first.

Angle went to the floor holding his head, then Karen Angle bounced to the ringside area to check on him. The announcers played it up like Angle re-injured his neck. Karen tried to help Kurt up, but Kurt threw a wild elbow that knocked Karen down. He didn't seem to mind or notice. Borash and Styles then checked on Karen, and the ref went to the floor to tell Styles to leave. Meanwhile, Nash hit a powerbomb and had the phantom three count, but the ref was still yelling at Styles to leave. Karen did a bleeding-from-the-mouth angle, and Nash got up to see what was going on. Angle then low blowed Nash from behind and gave him the Olympic Slam.

Referee Hebner decided now was a good time to return to the ring and he counted a three count for Angle while Styles was still ringside against referee orders. Afterward, Styles carried Karen to the back while Kurt celebrated in the ring with his World Title. Tenay said it was another tainted victory for Angle.

WINNER: Kurt Angle in 13:00. Just another typical Thursday Night Thunder finish from the glory days of WCW. Simply insert Sting or Sid Justice or Scott Steiner or Jeff Jarrett in place of Kurt Angle and we're back to 1999 or 2000 without missing a beat. Action was pretty good until the three-step combo for big matches of female interference, referee incompetence, and a non-clean finish. (*3/4)

We welcome your 1-10 score and comments on this show for an "Impact Reax" feature in the Torch Feedback section of PWTorch.com. To contribute your thoughts on Impact, click here.

Want more Impact analysis? Check out Jason Powell's full report with his POV analysis.

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