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CALDWELL'S WWE RAW REPORT 3/3: Ongoing "virtual time" coverage of live show
Mar 3, 2008 - 10:05:27 PM |
By James Caldwell, Torch columnist
WWE Raw Live Report
March 3, 2008
Indianapolis, Ind.
Law & Order lead-in: Tonight will have the Jericho highlight reel with special guest Jeff Hardy. Big Show vs. a professional fighter will start the show.
Backstage: The show opened with close-ups of Triple H, then Randy Orton, then John Cena backstage. The camera panned back to show William Regal staring at all three of them. Regal said he came up with a brilliant idea for each of the three to have complete control of Raw the next three weeks before Mania. Cena was picked to have this week. Randy Orton immediately tried to make a deal with them for nights off the next three weeks. He said he gives his word for when it will be his week. Triple H sarcastically said he trusts Orton. Cena said he doesn't care about deals or pacts or anything like that. After taking a Pedigree two weeks ago and an RKO last week, he can come up with something very satisfying this week. He walked off with a smile, then Hunter and Orton stared at each other.
In-ring: After Ross and Lawler gave a brief intro for the show, Lillian Garcia announced an MMA exhibition featuring Big Show. Winner is by pin, submission, or KO. Show came out first and Ross said the world is talking about Mayweather vs. Show at Mania. They cut to a satellite feed of Mayweather watching from Las Vegas with a big smile on his face. Lillian then announced Brandon "the Thrill" Hill as his opponent. No reaction whatsoever. Dude looks like Lionheart, who wrestled on the Southern California indy scene for a while when I was living in California. I swear that's Lionheart. The ref then brought Big Show and Hill together for a face-to-face to go over the rules of the competition.
1 -- BIG SHOW vs. BRANDON HILL (w/posse)
The bell sounded and Hill ducked under the ropes to avoid Big Show. Show chased Hill around the ring, but Hill kept ducking under the ropes to draw boos. Lawler said, "This is a mixed martial arts match" with a tinge of sarcasm. Hull started giving Show body blows to the gut that had no effect on him. Show then picked up Hill and chucked him into the corner ropes before landing a boot to the gut. Show then finished off Hill with a chokeslam as Lawler talked about Hill being the same size as Floyd Mayweather. Show put a boot on the chest for a three count and the win.
WINNER: Big Show in 2:00. All that showed is that that the McMahon family has zero knowledge of MMA, if they were serious with trying to present that as an actual attempt at an MMA match. It's like TNA trying to water down the Royal Rumble with 18,000 gauntlet matches before WWE's PPV. If they weren't trying to be serious, they tried to mock "MMA" when they claim on their investor conference calls that MMA isn't a competitor in their marketplace. (n/a)
Post-match: Big Show took the mic and addressed Mayweather, who was back on the video screen. Show told Mayweather to save the $20 million because he's going to wipe him out next time. Mayweather told Show he's going to break his jaw next time. Show said Mayweather is writing checks that his ass can't check. He said Mayweather and boxing are going down at Mania. They kept talking over each other, then Show picked up Hill and chucked him over the top rope to the floor. Mayweather said that fighter is a bum. Mayweather closed that he's going to break Show's jaw next time. Well, that just bombed out major. I don't want to be over-dramatic and say WWE just killed the angle, but no one in the arena cared about any of this. Stupid TV angle.
Backstage: They showed Ric Flair and Shawn Michaels walking backstage in preparation for a tag match up next.
[Q2]
[Commercial Break]
Video package: They showed a video on Triple H out of the break. The plug was for Triple H's DVD coming out the week before Mania.
In-ring: Shawn Michaels came out on stage for the opening wrestling match. Ric Flair then came out and they walked to the ring together. Cade & Murdoch were already in the ring for a match.
2 -- SHAWN MICHAELS & RIC FLAIR vs. CADE & MURDOCH
They did a basic tag match to start things off, as Michaels was isolated before Flair took the tag and ripped off a round of chops. Flair then slapped on a figure four in center ring on Cade. Cade lasted longer than MVP and Mr. Kennedy combined. Meanwhile, Michaels slapped on his inverted figure four on Murdoch and both opponents tapped out for a wild finishing scene.
WINNERS: Michaels & Flair in 4:00. Basic tag match. No surprises here, leading to the post-match angle. (3/4*)
Post-match: Michaels and Flair hugged, then Michaels took the mic and said he needs to get something off his chest. He said he can't do the Mania match against Flair. The fans booed, then Michaels cut Flair's promo. He said he doesn't want to be the guy to end Flair's career. Michaels said Flair needs to understand something: this is WrestleMania and I am the showstopper. Michaels said if Flair keeps pushing for this match, it's going to be Flair's show that is going to be stopped. Michaels dropped the mic and left the ring shaking his head. Flair simply stared at him as he left up the entrance ramp. No words from Flair.
Backstage: William Regal was on the phone telling someone that Cena is in charge tonight. Cena then stepped into Regal's office and said the best decision tonight is for Hunter and Orton to go through each other. He booked Hunter vs. Orton, and Regal said you can't do that. Cena said he's not giving himself the night off, as he has some business with Mr. Kennedy to attend to. Cena told Regal to leave since this is his office tonight. End scene. Regal lingered. Cena told him to scram, then Cena sat down on the couch as the live arena booed him.
Video promo: they plugged next week as a 3-hour event with WrestleMania re-matches from past years involving Raw, Smackdown, and ECW. They plugged a special appearance by Mayweather.
[Commercial Break]
[Q3]
Announcers: they plugged a confrontation between JBL and Finlay, and Jeff Hardy on Jericho's highlight reel.
In-ring: Umaga came to the ring for a random match. William Regal joined the announcers ringside for commentary since he's out of a job tonight. Super Crazy was already in the ring to get squashed.
3 -- UMAGA vs. SUPER CRAZY
Lawler read a statement from Batista that he would like nothing more than to beat Umaga at WrestleMania and prove that Smackdown is the dominant brand. Umaga with a Samoan Spike for the win. Regal said Umaga will prove that Raw is the superior brand.
WINNER: Umaga in 1:00. Squash. (n/a)
Announcers: They plugged Cena vs. Kennedy and Triple H vs. Orton tonight.
[Commercial Break]
In-ring: Chris Jericho was already in the ring out of the break for the Highlight Reel. Jericho posed in the ring, then he took the mic and said this is the talk show that spurned the cheap imitations like Cutting Edge, Carlito's Cabana, "Are you Smarter than a Snitsky", and "Cooking with Goldberg". Nice. He then brought out Jeff Hardy as his special guest. His new music hit to drown out the screams from the kids. Hardy shook hands with Jericho in the ring, then soaked up the "Hardy, Hardy" chants. Jericho said the people love Hardy tonight, but he beat Hardy last week to qualify for the Money in the Bank. Jericho then went to the HD Jeritron to recap Jericho's defeat of Hardy last week.
Hardy tried to talk, but Jericho cut him off and called Hardy a spot monkey. The fans booed, then chanted Hardy's name again. Hardy said a lot has changed since Jericho was last here. Hardy said he's not going to roll over like he would have in the past. He's going to do everything it takes to win the Money in the Bank match and become champ. Jericho reminded Hardy that he was the first Undisputed champion, then told Hardy that anything goes from here on out. The fans booed, then Hardy said he's cool with that. Hardy went for a handshake, but turned it into a Twist of Fate. Mixed reaction for Hardy as the aggressor. He then left the ring and stared back at Jericho, who tried to collect himself in the ring.
[Q4]
Backstage: They showed Mr. Kennedy walking toward the ring.
WrestleMania video promo: Maria and Carlito shared a drink poolside in Florida. Carlito tried to convince Maria to drop Santino for him, but then he was attacked by random seagulls. Maria suddenly became less ditzy.
[Commercial Break]
4 -- JOHN CENA vs. MR. KENNEDY
They locked up briefly before cutting to another break.
[Commercial Break]
They returned with Cena trying to drag Kennedy into the ring, but Kennedy slingshot him throat-first across the top rope. Kennedy then landed a DDT on the ring apron. For what it's worth, Cena's opponent the night he tore his pec was Kennedy, and this is their first one-on-one TV match since the injury. Back in the ring, Kennedy scored a nearfall.
[Q5 -- second hour]
Kennedy stomped on Cena in the corner before measuring him for a running boot to the face. He connected and kept the boot in place for a few extra seconds to sell the move. Kennedy kept focusing on the head and neck with a vise hold on the mat. Kennedy went to the well again for a corner boot, but Cena popped up to his feet and nailed a clothesline. Cena went into his comeback with a series of clotheslines before nailing a bulldog. He then went up top and nailed a spectacular leaping guillotine leg drop half-way across the ring. Cena then slapped on the STFU and Kennedy tapped out in about seven seconds.
WINNER: Cena in 10:00. Not long enough to get a true feel for the match. Finish was predictable after Kennedy had all the offense to save face before Cena picked up the win. (*1/2)
Backstage: Candice and Maria talked to each other before Candice led Maria backstage for the Playboy cover unveiling.
WrestleMania promo: They focused on Floyd Mayweather risking it all - his career, money, and health - against Big Show at WrestleMania. "The Biggest vs. The Best" is the tagline.
[Commercial Break]
In-ring: Jerry Lawler was in the ring standing next to a giant screenshot of the Playboy cover that was covered by a red cloth. Ross plugged that Snoop Dogg is the Master of Ceremonies for the BunnyMania tag match that's now a BunnyMania lumberjill match. Maria took the mic and she has officially dropped the ditzy gimmick. She talked about the experience and said she can't believe she'll be on the cover of Playboy. Lawler congratulated her, then asked for a drumroll.
Lawler pulled down the cloth revealing Santino's head covering Maria's face, breasts, and crotch. Santino strikes again! Santino's face with Maria's hair looks like Fabio. His music then hit and Santino laughed about ribbing Maria. Santino said that anytime someone pictures his a Maria on Playboy, they will have a, what's it called, erectile dysfunction. Santino told Maria that they're leaving because he's the man. Maria cut her off and said nobody makes this decision except for her. Santino screamed for her to leave, but Maria kept saying no. No means no! Lawler then stepped in and punched Santino in the jaw, and Santino rolled out of the ring. Candice and Maria chucked the Santino Playboy cover over the top rope onto Santino while the fans chanted, "Jerry, Jerry".
[Q6]
Candice took the mic and said fortunately that wasn't the only cover that was planned for tonight. Santino pleaded for the cover not to be unveiled. Candice then asked for the other cover to be dropped from the ceiling. Santino threw a fit on the floor while everyone smiled in the ring. And cue up the cheesy end-of-movie music for a coming-of-age flick with the bad guy boyfriend having egg all over his face after the high school promo.
[Commercial Break]
Video footage: They aired footage of Carl Edwards winning yesterday's NASCAR race in Las Vegas, and being awarded a gold title belt. He said maybe he'll let John Cena wear it at WrestleMania. They showed footage of Cena and Edwards sharing various moments lately on the track and in the ring.
In-ring: Lillian Garcia plugged a Money in the Bank qualifying match. Carlito came out first to little reaction. Cody Rhodes came out as the opponent. Well, this is intriguing.
5 -- CODY RHODES vs. CARLITO -- MITB qualifying match
Carlito ripped off a dropkick and hard chop to the chest in the opening minute. Lawler said this would be Carlito's third Mania appearance and Cody's first. Of course, Carlito famously complained about being left off last year's card. Carltio went for the backstabber in 2:00, but Cody held onto the ropes and bridged Carlito for a nearfall. Cody then caught Carlito with a turnaround splash off the ropes for another two count. Carlito tried to hook the ropes for a pin, but the ref caught him and stopped the count. Cody with a bulldog in center ring for a close count. Cody then tried a victory roll, but Carlito ducked and nailed the backstabber for the pin and the win.
WINNER: Carlito in 4:00. Fine singles match with high stakes. This match could have meant much more if the tag division meant anything, and if WWE had confidence in these two men to be given more time in the ring after allowing them to sharpen their skills over the last five months. (*1/4)
Announcers: Ross plugged a sit-down interview with Floyd Mayweather next. They called him the greatest fighter in the world.
[Commercial Break]
[Q7]
Next week on Raw: the official weigh-in for Big Show vs. Mayweather.
Announcers: Ross plugged the MMA exhibition earlier in the show involving Big Show. Ross then brought in Mayweather to discuss the Mania situation. The fans live booed him appearing on the video screen. Mayweather said he's here to dominate in the WWE. Lawler asked if he's ever really been hurt before. Mayweather said he's in a new field, so he has to dedicate himself to wrestling. He said he's the best in boxing, MMA, and wrestling. Mayweather said he wasn't intimidated by Big Show tossing around the dude who he said looked like he's been eating pancakes for three weeks. Mayweather told Lawler that he's the real king and he's here to dominate. He said it used to be WWE, but now it's MME: Money Mayweather Entertainment. The fans that cared booed him.
Ringside: Mike Adamle stumbled through the next Hall of Fame introduction, then announced Mae Young as the next inductee. They had some footage from Fabulous Moolah and Freddie Blassie talking about her abilities in the ring decades ago. Gerald Briscoe then introduced the customary "sports entertainment" Mae Young footage, including giving birth to a hand.
Backstage: They showed Finlay sternly walking backstage for the JBL confrontation.
[Commercial Break]
In-ring: Finlay came to the ring to new music. What is with the new music? It all sucks. Categorically, across the board, it all sucks. I demand the old classics. Finlay stood in the ring with shillelagh in hand, then Vince McMahon's classic theme hit. If there's anyone who needs a new theme, it's Vince. Vince stood on the entrance ramp and said JBL is looking forward to the confrontation, but he has some questions for Finlay first. He wanted to know if it's true that Finlay conspired with family members to go against him. Finlay said it's true, then said Vince isn't good enough to be Hornswoggle's father. Vince asked if he's the father of that mutant, Hornswoggle. Finlay said that would be true, and he's proud of it. Vince then said he regrets to inform everyone that JBL isn't here tonight due to transportation issues. JBL then appeared on the video screen with some whimpering in the background. The camera panned down to show JBL at the hospital with Hornswoggle. Boy, looks like a real hospital.
[Q8]
JBL said Hornswoggle might be innocent, but he preys on the innocent. He said he made his fortune that way, and quite frankly, it's fun. JBL said he'll fight Finlay, but it will be at Mania. JBL sarcastically translated for Hornswoggle before slapping him across the slap. Finlay said he ought to tear JBL's heart out. Hornswoggle started crying, then JBL turned out the night light and cleared the "hospital room". There were loud crashing noises in the darkness as Hornswoggle cried even louder. Finlay stood expressionless in the ring as the crowd murmured, not sure how to react.
[Commercial Break]
Ringside: John Cena joined the announcers on commentary for the main event. Ross complemented Cena on his matchmaking. See, the Insider News deal makes sense now. It's a way for WWE to pull storyline ideas from other companies. ROH = Sapolsky asked wrestlers for match ideas, and Cena books tonight's main event. TNA = working on a NASCAR deal, and WWE counters with the Cena-Edwards race footage. Randy Orton came out first for the main event, and Cena took us back to when Orton kicked Cena's dad in the head months ago. Triple H then came out for his full entrance. Ross said the triple threat match at Mania is no DQ, no count-outs, just first fall wins. Cena said that eliminates any fluke finishes. Good line for assuring fans that there won't be an Orton punch-of-the-ref to end the match.
6 -- WWE champion RANDY ORTON vs. TRIPLE H -- non-title match
I'm assuming this is non-title. They had a quick lock-up, then Orton slowly walked away from Hunter after pushing him into the corner. They did the same spot with Hunter teasing that he would back away slowly before landing a punch to the face. Hunter slapped on a side headlock while Cena called him the total package. They battled near the ropes and Orton slipped Hunter through the ropes to the floor. A battle ensued on the floor and Orton ate the steel steps face-first.
[Q9 -- over-run]
Back in the ring, Hunter talked to the ref, which allowed Orton to drop him with a fallaway backbreaker for a nearfall. The battle moved to the floor again, then Orton scampered back into the ring and took a spinebuster in center ring. Orton then tried to leave with the WWE Title, but Cena left the broadcast position and said the match isn't ending that way. Hunter came up behind Orton and knocked Orton into Cena. Orton and Hunter returned to the ring and Hunter ducked a belt shot. Hunter then went for the Pedigree, but Cena jumped Hunter from behind to cause the match to be thrown out.
After the bell sounded, Cena measured Hunter for the FU and connected to boos. Orton then surprised Cena with an RKO next to Hunter's fallen body. There was an initial positive pop, followed by boos. Orton stood tall with the WWE Title belt held high in the air. Ross rhetorically asked what will happen next week when either Hunter or Orton is in charge.
WINNER: No Contest in 9:00. Hunter is being positioned as the babyface in this title situation, with Cena the tweener since he was the aggressor against Hunter, who had the match won. It was Orton's turn to stand tall after Hunter stood tall the past two weeks, so the final image made sense. You can tell they have a few more weeks until Mania, as they haven't reached a highpoint in this title match build-up yet. (*1/2)
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