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KELLER'S WWE RAW REPORT
MARCH 10, 2008
LIVE FROM MILWAUKEE, WISC.

WHAT HAPPENED: 1ST HOUR

-Big pyro opened the show along with Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler introducing the show. They began by announcing Undertaker vs. Mark Henry in a casket match and the weigh-in for the Big Show vs. Floyd Mayweather match.

-Ric Flair walked out in a suit and strutted to the ring. He said last week Shawn Michaels looked him in the eye and said he didn't want to face him at WrestleMania and be the one to end his career. He said "he had the audacity" to say the Showstopper would stop his show. He said he respects Michaels, and he has something to tell him face to face. Four second pause (for realism). Then Michaels's music started and out popped Michaels with cowboy hat, a big belt buckle, cowboy boots, and his latest t-shirt tucked in like a product of being a teenager in the '70s. Flair faced Michaels and said the words "sympathy" didn't exist when he started in the business and the word "pity" doesn't exist now. Flair let loose with an, "I'm the Nature Boy, whoo!" He said if he can't compete with the best, and he is the best, he doesn't want his career to continue. He said he wants to be a flagship player and stand on his own two feet, earning respect - not sympathy or pity. He said he expects the same from him. He said if he wins at WrestleMania, "it's because I'm the man." If you beat me at WrestleMania, you have beaten The Man." He said he knows his career could come to an end, but he also feels that on a real good day, he could catch one on him and his career go on forever.

Michaels said he's been part of some of the greatest WrestleMania moments in history. He said at WrestleMania, "I am the man, and you need to understand something, Naitch. I don't have any control over it. When that day rolls around, I don't have any control over it." He said it just happens. He said at WrestleMania, the show will be stolen. "Let's do it!" They briefly hugged. Michaels turned to walk away, then turned back. He brought up that on Friday Night Smackdown, he was involved in a three-on-one steel cage match against "Edge and his two, duh, Edge guys." (laughs from the crowd). He said his Fridays are usually reserved for "Dora the Explorer," but for him he'll do anything. So, he said, the least he can do is make sure it's "three against the both of us."

Suddenly, Randy Orton walked out to his music. He reminded Michaels he was in charge last week. He announced that Triple H would face Kane and Michaels would face John Cena later, and that would show that Michaels can be beat. It's nice to see Orton show such faith in rival Cena.

Good segment that managed to hype WrestleMania, Smackdown, and the Raw main event. It also gave Flair some extended mic time to really show off what made him a money-promo for decades. Michaels was also at his best here with his tone, mixing determination, bravado, and humor in just the right ratio.

-Ross and Lawler hyped Henry vs. Undertaker was next - a rematch from the Apr. 2, 2006 WrestleMania 22.

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[Commercial Break]

1 -- UNDERTAKER vs. MARK HENRY - Casket Match

Full extended ring introductions aired for each wrestler. Taker opened up with punches that drew some "oohs" from the crowd. Henry came back and applied a bearhug. Ross said Henry would like to "dehabilitate and destroy the Demon from Death Valley." Ross gets an A for alliteration, but D for using a word that doesn't actually exist. He usually gets in one of those per show these days. With three hours, we can hope for maybe two. At 3:00 Taker rammed Henry's head into the lid of the casket at ringside, then rolled Henry back into the ring. Nobody seemed in a rush to get anywhere fast in this match. Henry surprised Taker with a powerslam when Taker finally made it back into the ring. Henry called for the casket lid to be opened, but as Henry began to drag Taker toward it, Henry applied his triangle choke move to try to put Henry to sleep. Ross said, "The dehabilitation we talked about earlier has been done." That doesn't count. That's the same word twice. Taker then rolled Henry into the casket and closed the lid for the win.

WINNER: Undertaker in 4:00.

STAR RATING: 1/2*

-The spot aired for WrestleMania where Carlito destroyed a bird that irritated him while he was sipping drinks with Maria in a tropical setting. Then another bird pooped on his shoulder.

[Commercial Break]

-They showed a jovial, more relaxed and likable Floyd Mayweather backstage with his cronies. They got soundbites from boxing champ Antonio Tarver saying rarely do fighters leave their weight class and Michael Buffer talking about Mayweather's resume and Bert Sugar talking about how Mayweather's payoff will barely cover his hospital bills. Ross and Lawler plugged again the official weigh-in. Lawler said fireworks might break out. It'd be nice if pro wrestling went against type and had things just go smoothly, just to keep everyone on their toes and make things look a little more legit and less staged.

-A sitdown soundbite aired with Triple H talking about how he lives to be WWE Champion. He talked about his injury derailing his WrestleMania streak and title rematches. He said it's been burning a hole in him for two years and at WM he will fight like his life depends on it because "as far as I'm concerned, it does; Cena, Orton, game on!" Sarcastic Triple H is gone this week. Hurray.

[Commercial Break]

2 -- FINLAY vs. MR. KENNEDY

Just as the match was about to begin, JBL appeared on the big screen and he taunted Finlay. He accepted the Belfast Brawl challenge for WrestleMania. He said he'll beat him at his own game and put him in the hospital next to that "pathetic little mutant son of yours." An angry Finlay attacked Kennedy with his shillelagh, prompting an immediate DQ by the ref. Finlay continued to beat on Kennedy with the stick at ringside as Kennedy groaned and cried in agony. Once officials checked on Kennedy, Finlay briefly paused, then attacked Kennedy again in the entrance aisle.

WINNER: Kennedy via DQ in 0:03.

[Commercial Break]

-A video aired on WWE's participation in Make-a-Wish with a focus on John Cena's upcoming 100th wish granted. He spoke at an event about how happiness is a great cure for ailments.

3 -- JEFF HARDY vs. CHRIS JERICHO - Intercontinental Title match

Ross said this is an exception to WWE's promise that every match would be a WrestleMania rematch, but was booked instead due to what happened last week on the Highlight Reel. Boo. A week's worth of fans speculation about opponents for Hardy and Jericho was all wasted time. Thumbs down to WWE for that, even though this is an attractive match any other week. The two opened up with an intense brawl. In fact, Hardy tackled Jericho and Jericho fired back with a tackle of Hardy in two moves that looked about as stiff and real as anything you'll see in a WWE ring. It was right out of a schoolyard brawl between two members of the wrestling team. The cut to a break a minute in so they wouldn't have to take an early break at the start of the usual timeslot.

[Commercial Break]

The brawl continued after the break. Hardy flew at Jericho at ringside. Jericho side-stepped him and threw him face-first into the corner of the announce table. Jericho threw a limp Hardy into the ring and then splashed him for a near fall.

WHAT HAPPENED: 2ND HOUR

Eight minutes in they went into a series of leverage near falls. Jericho's streak of offense and near falls led to a "Y2J" chant. He got a pop as he went for a Walls of Jericho. Hardy turned it into a small package for a near fall. "How good is this?" declared Lawler. Hardy hit a Twist of Fate suddely, then de-shirted and went for a Swanton. Jericho moved. Jericho then hit the Code Breaker to win. Ross said nobody seemed hotter coming into this match than Hardy, but Jericho just began his record-setting eighth IC Title reign.

WINNER: Jericho in 10:00 to capture the IC Title.

STAR RATING: ***1/4 - A really good ten minute match. They went all out in realistic, intense fight start to finish.

-Lawler and Ross plugged the Triple H vs. Kane match. Then Nikolai Voklkof and Iron Sheik were shown heading to the ring for a rematch from WrestleMania I. Ross said, "Oh Lord."

[Commercial Break]

-A clip aired from 1985's WrestleMania I match that was about to rematched. I predict Mike Rotunda will adjust his waistband a record 37 times in this match.

4 -- IRON SHEIK & NIKOLAI VOLKOFF vs. MIKE ROTUNDA & BARRY WINDHAM

Ross assured viewers they were live. Volkoff sang the Russian National Anthem. Some fans booed. Why? Jillian Hall walked out just as the match was about to begin. She said she wasn't even born when this match took place at WrestleMania. She said she had to do something, though, and she knows her history. She said to Windham and Rotunda, they came out to "Born in the USA" back then, but they can't even afford the rights to it tonight "because you're has-beens." She began singing the song. Rotunda stopped her with an airplane spin. Jillian fell to the mat dizzy, then rolled out of the ring. Ross said the match would now be better delayed another 24 years. Well, that was stupid. Not that everyone was eager to see those four wrestle, but it's still a lot of build-up with zero payoff for no good reason.

WINNER: Match called off.

-Mike Adamle introduced the latest WWE Hall of Fame inductions - Gerald & Jack Brisco. A video feature aired on them with comments from Jim Ross, Steve Austin, Dean Malenko, and others.

[Commercial Break]

-A video montage aired of the Big Show-Mayweather hype so far, followed by an exterior live view of the Bradley Center in Milwaukee. Then clips aired of the March 29, 1999 match between Triple H and Kane at WrestleMania 15 in Philadelphia, Pa.

-Orton tried to give Kane a pep talk of sorts. He said Triple H has made him his "b..." at which point Kane grabbed Orton by the throat. He said he doesn't need a history lesson from him as he remembers everything. He dropped Orton and left the room. Orton caught his breath and smiled in anticipation of what Triple H had in store for himself.

-Ross and Lawler plugged that match was next.

[Commercial Break]

5 -- TRIPLE H vs. KANE

Kane dominated early with a brawl at ringside. At 3:00 Hunter made a comeback. Orton stepped onto the stage to watch. Ross said, "Kane could care less about Randy Orton at this moment." (He meant he "could NOT care less.") Hunter set up a Pedigree, but noticed Orton and that pause gave Kane an opening. Kane slammed Hunter and climbed to the top rope. Hunter kicked him in the gut and gave him a sloppy Pedigree for the win.

WINNER: Triple H in 6:00.

STAR RATING: 1/2* -- Nothing pretty about that.

-A commercial aired promoting Colin Delaney & Tommy Dreamer vs. The Miz & John Morrison for the tag titles tomorrow night on ECW.

[Commercial Break]

-A soundbite promo aired with John Cena. He said he's often asked what WrestleMania means to him. He said the answer is somewhat cliche in that it "means everything." He said he wasn't supposed to be back in action until October. (They keep exaggerating that timeline of how long he was supposed to be out; they knew all along he'd back sooner and put that story out there to make him seem heroic for his early return.) He talked about risking his career to come back early.

[Commercial Break]

6 -- MELINA (w/Jillian Hall) vs. MARIA (w/Candice Michelle)

Before the match Melina said she was really looking forward to beating Ashley again tonight, "but apparently she is injured and can't be here." She said that's typical of a Playboy cover girl, "looks great on the outside, but has nothing on the inside." She said instead of a WrestleMania rematch, they'd have a WrestleMania prematch where she'd show everyone she is more than just a pretty face. So much for "every match will be a WrestleMania rematch." Next time WWE announces a theme show, fans aren't going to get as enthusiastic about it since it's so loosely executed this time. Santino Marella walked out a minute into the match. Lawler asked if Santino and Maria were still going out. Ross said he didn't know. He tore up Maria's Playboy in front of Maria, distracting her in the process, setting up Melina to dish out an easy inverted DDT and a win. Afterward, Candice got in Santino's face, and Glamazon somewhat clumsily forearmed Candice in the face and shoved her to the mat.

WINNER: Melina in 2:00.

WHAT HAPPENED: 3RD HOUR

-A tone-deaf video feature aired on Mayweather vs. Big Show. It focused on Mayweather's house, which included a closet with a whole wall dedicated to shoes, him counting wads of money, bragging that he couldn't name the current president but knows who Benjamin Franklin is, and then saying when he beats Big Show, WWE's logo will flip and it will become Mayweather Money Entertainment. He just comes across as so sadly, shallowly impressed by his own wealth and standing for nothing else other than perhaps lack of knowledge about the world otherwise. It's just not a likable characterization within the culture of pro wrestling. It's surprisingly tone deaf for WWE to think this is going to work. It's such a stark contrast to the Make-a-Wish segment earlier focused on Cena, which at least had its heart in the right place image-wise.

-Ross and Lawler went back to pushing the official weight-in next.

[Commercial Break]

-Shane McMahon came out to host the weight-in segment. He's so far removed from his big push a few years ago that he gets almost no pop coming out now. He's toned down his silly intro dance about 90 percent, also, which is good for someone nearly 40. Shane, coming across as a decent, well-mannered, level-headed human being, minus the pomposity and self-aggrandizement of his father, introduced Big Show. Show came out to little passionate fan reaction. Shane began introducing Mayweather next to half-hearted scattered boos and almost no cheers from the crowd. Mayweather walked out with six cronies flanking him. Lawler called him arrogant. Ross called him confident. Shane asked for "some semblance of decorum." Mayweather played to the boos with a heelish response. He stepped onto the scale and weighed 159 pounds. It's tough to get over in a business that has made anyone under 220 seem like a jobber for the last several decades. Lawler said Big Show has eaten meals taht weigh more than that. Big Show weighed in at 441 pounds. They actually showed the read-out on the scale, so unless they gimmicked it somehow, those are legit weights - almost three-to-one.

Show yanked the mic away from Shane. Show said since Mayweather brought his posse to the ring, he wanted to call his to the ring. Out walked the rest of the WWE locker room. Mayweather protested the entire time. Well, this pretty much switches the roles officially, which thus might explain the heelish video earlier touting Mayweather's obsession with money. The ring was surrounded by the entire second and third tiers of the WWE's three rosters. Show said nobody in the locker room likes him. "You're in the shark tank now," Show said. "Maybe you can take some of that money and throw it out to the crowd so they don't hate you so much. Or maybe you can take some of that money and keep giving it to this little group of dogs here so they pretend to be your friends a little while longer." He said there are two scenarios: He takes mercy on him and he lives another day, or he continues to disrespect him and he guarantees he will never box again. Show said it's entirely up to Mayweather. "What do you have to say, you little runt?" Show handed Mayweather the mic.

The crowd loudly chanted "You suck! You suck!" They were all just waiting permission to boo him. Mayweather pulled out a wad of hundreds, smelled it, and walked back to center-ring. He said Show is right, h is the 20 million dollar man. He began throwing 100 dollar bills at Show. He said he respects what Show has done in WWE. The crowd gave him the "What?" treatment. He said he doesn't respect Show as a human being. He said he has to catch him first. He threw a couple hundreds at Show's feet. Show picked them up and handed them to wrestlers at ringside. Mayweather pocketed the rest. Mayweather said he broke his nose at No Way Out and at WM24 he will break his jaw. Well, he was better than last week on the satellite hook-up, but he's hardly a natural on the mic. His heelish body language is solid.

As the posse left the ring, Show grabbed Mayweather from behind, lifted him into the air, and tossed him onto four wrestlers at ringside who were in charge of catching him and protecting him. A brawl broke out with both sides at ringside. Mayweather clutched his right elbow in pain and scurried to the back. In the chaos, Shane got shoved down. Cody was quick to ask if he was okay and help him up. Shane adjusted his tie and walked back up to the stage to talk Mayweather's final posse members to the back. The fact that they tried so hard to turn Show heel with the attacks on Rey shows they had no idea this fan rejection of Mayweather was coming. It's amazing they got this cast so wrong at the beginning; it shouldn't have been hard to predict. But at least mid-course they're getting it right.

[Commercial Break]

-On the replay of the Mayweather toss, it appeared he at first favored his left elbow, but switched seconds later. Will the sports world bite on this or ignore it? Does it matter either way?

-A soundbite interview aired with Orton who said he's a combination of the desire, intelligent, determination, ruthlessness, and other attributes of both Cena and Hunter. He said the only difference is he has one thing that neither Cena nor Triple H has, the WWE Championship.

-Edge's ring intro took place.

[Commercial Break]

7 -- EDGE (w/Curt Hawkins, Zach Ryder) vs. C.M. PUNK

Punk got in early offense leading to a near fall at 2:00. Edge came back with a DDT out of nowhere to turn things around. When Punk was distracted by Ryder on the ring apron, Edge surprised him with a spear for a quick win.

WINNER: Edge in 4:00.

-The Carlito-Maria-bird sketch re-aired.

[Commercial Break]

-William Regal stood mid-ring. He introduced Umaga as the Raw rep at WrestleMania. A video aired on Umaga. Then Batista came out to a full ring intro. Batista removed his shades and threw the first punch. Umaga took Batista down with a throat strike. He threw some headbutts. Batista came back with a spinebuster. He tore of his shirt, shook the top rope, and yelled as Umaga threw a fit at ringside. Regal tried to talk Umaga into returning to the back. Batista's music played. Basic stuff, but fine. They can't really do a lot of angles between these two since they're on separate brands, and Umaga doesn't talk, so there's a lot of limits on what they can do between now and WrestleMania.

-Highlights aired of Shawn Michaels vs. John Cena at WrestleMania 23. Ross called it one of the very best main events he's witnesses in all WrestleMania history.

[Commercial Break]

-They announced the suspiciously absent Mr. McMahon will be honored this Friday at 11:30 a.m. in Hollywood, Calif. with his own star at the Walk of Fame. Ross said fans are encouraged to attend.

-Ross confirmed that Mayweather's elbow was injured in the confrontation with Big Show earlier. The fall was replayed. Lawler said he hopes it's not fractured.

8 -- SHAWN MICHAELS vs. JOHN CENA

They delivered some first-gear mat wrestling early, mostly a Michaels headlock. When Cena went for an STFU, Michaels slipped out of the ring and they cut to a break. The crowd seemed to be in stand-by mode and waiting to get into it.

[Commercial Break]

Cena had Michaels in an armbar. Michaels broke free. They exchanged punches. Michaels tossed Cena out of the ring to the floor at 8:00. Michaels settled into a leglock on Cena back in the ring. The crowd grew restless after a long night. At 10:00 Michaels went for a figure-four, but Cena countered with a small package. Cena sold a knee injury and buckled under his own weight. Michaels clipped him. When Cena made a comeback, the crowd got into it with boos. When he signaled for his You Can't See Me routine, some of the higher-pitched voices were heard. Cena sat down on a sunset flip for a two count. Michaels countered for another two count. Michaels back suplexed Cena at 12:00. The ref counted both down. Michaels went on a flurry and hit a top rope elbow at 14:00. He showed fire and then stomped the mat. The crowd counted with each stomp. Cena avoided the telegraphed Michaels move and used a drop toe hold to drop Michaels. Michaels punched from underneath and powered Cena into an inverted figure-four in a nice counter. Cena made cartoon faces to express pain as he crawled toward the bottom rope, forcing a break and prompting some boos. Cena rolled to the apron. Michaels slidekicked him to the floor, then springboard backflipped onto Cena. When they got up, Michaels pushed Cena into the ringpost. Orton showed up and shoved Michaels into the ringpost, too. The ref called for the bell.

WINNER: No contest in 12:00.

STAR RATING: **1/2 -- Really slow start. They never really had the crowd as into this as they should have given their stature, although there was nothing on the line and no one to really root against.

-After the match, Orton tried to give Cena an RKO on a chair in mid-ring. Cena blocked it and gave Orton an FU instead. Cena's music played as the show ended.

-They went backstage to Triple H nodding as he watched the finish of the match on a monitor. He said it's been an interesting night, but next week he's in charge and he's booking Cena and Orton as partner against the entire Raw roster. Triple H sure took advantage of the freedom he was given by Regal. Makes sense. Man, Hunter sounded just like Raven there.

-The most remarkable aspect of this show was the absence of Vince McMahon.

-Besides James Caldwell's other Raw review (available at our Main Listing right here), check out JASON POWELL'S RAW REPORT at our co-affiliate, prowrestling.NET.

-We welcome your 1-10 score and comments on this show for a "Raw Reax" feature in the Torch Feedback section of PWTorch.com. To contribute your thoughts on Raw, click here.

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