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CALDWELL'S WWE RAW REPORT 3/24: Ongoing "virtual time" coverage of final Raw before WrestleMania
Mar 24, 2008 - 10:05:38 PM |
By James Caldwell, Torch columnist
WWE Raw Live Report
March 24, 2008
Columbia, S.C.
The show started with some very, very high-pitched screams for John Cena's music. Cena ran into the ring and the camera got a nice shot of the Mania banner hanging atop the building. Cena said after all the RKOs, Pedigrees, FUs, stare downs, epic battles, double-crossovers, and other assorted wrestletainment, Sunday, we dance. Cena emphatically said this Sunday is WrestleMania. He said after raging war with seventeen other men last week, he feels pretty good about walking into Orlando as the #1 Contender and leaving as the WWE champion. More boos than cheers here as he link that sink in.
Cena started to talk again, but Big Show's music interrupted. Show strolled out to the ring dressed for some competition. Show said it doesn't matter who wins Cena's match at Mania because all that matters is him ending Mayweather's boxing career. Fans booed that surprisingly. Show said him KO'ing Mayweather will replace Hogan bodyslamming Andre as the single-most replayed moment in Mania history. More boos for that.
JBL then interrupted and strolled to the ring. He was sporting a suit, so he's not in the mood for any in-ring action tonight. Ross called this a very eclectic trio of individuals to start the show. JBL said Show can eat Mayweather for all he cares because he will be making the history at Mania. He said he put that mutant Hornswoggle in the hospital while he was crying for daddy. JBL said he'll do something neither one of them can do because he will be delivering the greatest beating of all-time to Finlay because there are no rules. And no one will stop him.
Cena casually said he wasn't listening to anything JBL said because he was just thinking about beating JBL at WrestleMania 21. JBL shot him a cold stare, then Randy Orton's music interrupted. Orton strolled out to the ring with the WWE Title belt over his shoulder. Orton said some people think Show is KO'ing Mayweather. Some people think JBL is going to beat up Finlay. Some people think either Cena or Triple H is going to walk out as champion. But no one thinks that he is going to retain. "Which is the way I like it because I feed off of that," he said. Orton said that will mean he gets all the press for retaining the belt.
And now for Umaga interrupting. Do we get a promo from Regal's best bud? He paced around the ring and stared at Orton before ripping the mic away from him. Umaga stared at the mic and shouted, "Batista." He then cut a promo in his foreign tongue about Batista. Cena said he just so happens to be fluent in Samoan and said that's so true that Randy Orton listens to boy bands and watches shows about my two dads. Back to the writers writing gay jokes for Cena. Oh, I thought we advanced beyond that.
With that attempt of comedy out of the way, Triple H interrupted to settle everyone down. The coolest man in the room strolled around the ring before saying yes, this is the brand new Triple H t-shirt. "And you're right, it's awesome," he said. Hunter then did his big build-up to his main point that there's one reason to get out of bed and lay their bodies on the line: that WWE championship sitting on Orton's shoulder. Hunter said they would all change their spots in a heartbeat for a shot at that gold. He said there's a reason why they're holding Mania at the Citrus Bowl because if there were a roof for Hunter vs. Cena vs. Orton, they'd damn well blow it off. Hunter then got in Cena's face and said the king of kings goes back on his throne. There isn't a damn thing either one of them can do about it, he said.
JBL interrupted and started yammering at Hunter. Cross talk. Cross talk. Regal interrupted to-restore some semblance of order. He booked a WrestleMania showcase for tonight with an eight-man No DQ match. Orton, Umaga, JBL, and Big Show against Cena, Hunter... and Shawn Michaels and Ric Flair. Oh my. And now everyone stare at each other menacingly. JC: Really strong vibe to this segment, as they effectively made WrestleMania seem like kind of a big deal. That's been missing the last few weeks.
[Q2]
[Commercial Break]
In-ring: Chris Jericho came to the ring and Ross talked about Jericho having a confrontation with MVP on Smackdown this past Friday. C.M. Punk then came out as Jericho's partner. For the heel team, MVP took his sweet time coming to the ring ahead of Carlito.
1 -- IC champion CHRIS JERICHO & C.M. PUNK vs. U.S. champion MVP & CARLITO
Jericho, who is carrying himself like he's gained a little mass, started on the offensive against Carlito. Carlito tried to escape by tagging out to MVP, but Jericho intimidated MVP with his puffed-out chest.
[Commercial Break - they plugged the Hall of Fame ceremony on Saturday night at 11:00 p.m. EST featuring Ric Flair as the main event inductee, and with a plug that The Rock will be on hand.]
[Q3]
Jericho continued to dominate out of the break, then he went for the Walls of Jericho on Carlito, but MVP ran into the ring and Jericho dropped him on the mat with the Walls. MVP broke it up, though, and smashed Jericho into the guardrail on the floor. Back in the ring, the heels took turns working on Jericho. Punk took the hot tag at 8:00 and measured MVP for a flying forearm, but MVP in time. The action broke down, then there was an off-spot where MVP ducked and Punk took an enziguiri kick from Jericho on accident. MVP then shoved Jericho away and pinned Punk for the win.
WINNERS: MVP & Carlito in 10:00. Eh match. The final spot epitomized the whole match - looked good on paper, but it wasn't executed well. (*)
[Commercial Break]
Sit-down promo: Mr. Kennedy sat in front of a multi-colored backdrop to talk about WrestleMania history. He said Flair retires, Taker's undefeated streak ends, and most importantly, he walks into MITB and wins.
Announcers: Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler hyped the WrestleMania card, then they aired the Ric Flair tribute video that had been playing at live events. All the classic moments right there. Back live in the building, they showed Flair's family standing ringside clapping for Flair. They showed Ric Flair sitting backstage in his locker room looking very contemplative. Ross said Flair is about to blow a gasket when he confronts Shawn Michaels later in the show.
[Q4]
[Commercial Break]
Video package: They showed a "Rought Cut" style video on Big Show training for his match against Mayweather. His trainer said Show is prepared as a boxer and a wrestler. They showed Show watching some tape of Mayweather's fights. He complimented Mayweather on being very fast with his moves, but he's too small with his reach to attack him. Show, talking from inside his vehicle, said he thinks Mayweather is going to break down and cry. They closed with the clip of Jericho getting KO'ed by Show's fist on Raw last week. JC: OK, well that just killed the whole deal because Jericho came out earlier tonight fresh as a daisy showing no ill-effects of Show's fist to the face last week. The video package went from five stars to a mild thumbs up with that gaffe in consistency.
In-ring: Hardcore Holly, who is one-half of the tag champs in case you care about the tag straps, was in the ring by himself for a match. Great Khali then came out to face him.
2 -- HARDCORE HOLLY vs. GREAT KHALI
Khali smacked Holly with an elbow strike, sending Holly careening to the mat. The fans booed, then Khali slapped on the Vice grip to the trapezius muscles. Holly managed to break free of the Vice (why?), but Khali finished him off with a two-hand chokebomb for the win.
WINNER: Khali in 2:00 Why did this match take place? I get that it was supposed to hype the 8,000-man battle royale at WrestleMania to make Khali seem like an unbeatable monster, but there was no set-up or point to this. (n/a)
[Commercial Break]
Video package: They aired a black and white video on Flair surviving against Vince McMahon last week with help from Shawn Michaels.
[Q5 -- second hour]
Just a minute short of the top of the hour, Ric Flair strutted out to the ring in a classic suit. In the heart of Flair Country, Flair waited out the applause from the fans before saying he's glad that somewhere in the world, people respect him. He said for the last week, people have come up to him saying it's great he beat Vince McMahon. The problem is he doesn't know if he beat Vince because Shawn helped him out last week. Flair said that after what happened last week, he's losing respect for him. They're having a failure to communicate, so he wants Mr. WrestleMania to come out here and talk things out.
After a pause, Michaels's music hit and he strolled out to the ring before walking a straight line to Flair. Michaels said he's sorry to hear that Flair has lost respect for him. He said he's sorry to hear Flair thinks he's lost faith in him. Michaels said that could never happen. He said Flair is the dirtiest player in the game and he always had back-up, which is why he did what he thinks Flair would have done. Michaels started saying Flair's catchphrases, but Flair told him to shut up. He ripped off his jacket and said he doesn't need anyone to tell him anymore who he is. Flair said he's feeling pretty good about himself and he wants to show him something.
Flair then pulled out the NWA World Heavyweight Title from his black bag. (Talk about free promotion for the NWA.) He said he won it in 1981 and this is what Michaels grew up admiring. Flair said he is the guy who wrestled Dusty, Race, Briscoes, Funks, Sting, Steamboat, and Brody. He said he doesn't give a damn what year it is or where it is, he picked Michaels. Flair said he picked Michaels to wrestle him because he wants to prove on the grandest stage of all that he can still be the Nature Boy Ric Flair. He told Michaels to bring out the best of him so that he can make it the rest of his way in the life. Flair said he needs to be Naitch. "Is that asking too much?!" he asked.
Michaels said he's going to give Flair everything he needs - Shawn Michaels, the headliner, the main event, the icon, and rest assured, he has no choice but to give him the Showstopper. Flair smiled a little, then Michaels said Flair is going to step into the ring with Mr. WrestleMania. Flair said he would expect nothing less from him. They shook hands, then Flair saluted the crowd. Michaels stopped short and stared straight ahead with his back to Flair. Flair caught him standing there, then Michaels said he needs to tell him a little story.
Michaels brought up the story of Old Yeller. They loved that dog, but when it was time, they had to finish off that dog. Michaels, addressing Flair, said he's going to take you, Old Yeller, behind the wood shed to put you out of your misery. Flair then lightly threw down the NWA Title, ripped off his dress shirt, did a circle around the ring, then stomped his jacket. Flair cleared the ring of everything, then took the mic and slapped Michaels hard across the face, with Michaels's cowboy hat flying out of the ring. He slapped him again. Flair ranted and raved and begged for him to do it now - take him out behind the wood shed now!
Michaels stood calm and said he's putting Flair out of his misery. The fans booed Michaels for his turn before WrestleMania. Flair could only stare down at Michaels in disbelief as Michaels left the ring. Michaels reached the top of the stage and looked back into the ring before leaving. Flair could only stare at him from inside the ring. JC: I had flashbacks to covering WCW Nitro eight years ago when Flair had his weekly gasket-blow promo. This was classic Flair with him mastering the spoken word and Michaels playing great fodder to Flair. It left you wanting more, creating a great hook for their Mania match.
Video package: They showed clips of Floyd Mayweather training for the match against Show. Mayweather said he's more athletic and throws the harder punch of the two. He then pulled out Big Show's pants and said you could use those as a bed sheet or some drapes. Mayweather said if there's a red light, he's going to run it because he can pay for it. Mayweather said people love to be part of the Mayweather experience. More shots of his cash.
Announcers: Ross hyped tonight's eight-man tag main event then asked how in the hell Michaels and Flair are going to co-exist.
[Commercial Break]
[Q6]
Video package: They showed clips of Big Show on Conan O'Brien last Friday. Show said the match came about real funny - they showed clips of Mayweather smashing Show in the face at No Way Out. Show said he can do whatever he wants to at WrestleMania because he's a lot bigger than Mayweather.
In-ring: Maria came to the ring, then Jim Ross said Candice Michelle had surgery hours ago, meaning Maria will be without a partner at WrestleMania for BunnyMania. Lawler took the opportunity to comment on Candice and Maria having great-looking clavicles. Melina and Beth Phoenix then came to the ring. Ross said they're still ready to compete at BunnyMania.
3 -- MELINA (w/Women's champ Beth Phoenix) vs. MARIA
Beth interfered in the opening minute, then Ashley stormed the ring and confronted Melina. Ashley screamed at the ref, then fans booed the entire proceedings. Oh wait, Santino Marella was running to the ring. Suddenly, Jerry Lawler jumped into the ring and smashed Santino with a right hand blow. Lawler, Maria, and Ashley stood tall, then William Regal showed up and booked an impromptu inter-gender six-person tag match.
WINNERS: No match in 1:00. Paging Mickie James. (n/a)
[Commercial Break]
4 -- JERRY LAWLER & MARIA & ASHLEY vs. SANTINO MARELLA & Women's champion BETH PHOENIX & MELINA
They returned with Santino coming off the top rope, but Lawler blocked with a fist to the gut. Lawler then landed a dropkick as Ross got in a product placement for a Subway sandwich. Melina took a tag, but Lawler didn't have to tag out. Lawler measured Melina for a punch, but he opted to tag out to Ashley, who smacked Melina in the face. I don't get the outfit. Maria then took a tag and hit the Bronco Buster on Melina. Beth Phoenix took a tag and smashed Maria with a spinebuster in center ring. Santino took a tag and stalked Maria, but Maria smashed her with a slap to the face. Ashley landed a far-less-convincing slap. The divas took turns smacking Santino in the corner, then Santino fell to the outside and accepted right hand blows from Lawler. Suddenly, Beth and Melina chop blocked Maria from behind. Santino then rolled into the ring and found himself on top of Maria for the pin and the win.
WINNERS: Beth & Melina & Santino in 4:00. Just a match to promote BunnyMania - whatever that will entail with Candice's injury. (1/2*)
Backstage: John Cena was horsing around with Val Venis and Cody Rhodes, then Triple H walked over to him. Cena got serious, then Hunter said two years ago, Cena beat him at WrestleMania. Hunter said that's been eating at him for two years because he knows he was the better man. He said injuries happen, but the fact is that when he came back at the Royal Rumble, it was his shot and Cena was standing in his way. He even won the Elimination Chamber, but Cena is standing in his way again. Hunter threatened to mow him down if he gets in his way at Mania. Cena told him to try watching from the sidelines for six months while another guy carries around a belt that he never lost. Cena said the WWE Championship comes home on Sunday. Hunter mumbled something, smiled, and walked away.
[Commercial Break]
[Q7]
Video package: They showed clips of John Legend tuning up the piano ahead of his WrestleMania debut to sing "America the Beautiful". He said he's done his fair share of touring, but he knows Mania will be an experience like no other.
Announcers: Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler hyped the Hall of Fame, then Ross said the final inductee will be revealed tomorrow night on ECW. They hyped the big matches at WrestleMania. And now BunnyMania is Beth and Melina vs. Maria and...Ashley. No love for Mickie.
Video package: They aired a video on the spectacle of WrestleMania, then transitioned into clips of Triple H and John Cena's respective journeys back to the Mania main event after suffering injuries. Oh yeah, and there's Randy Orton. Big hype for the Raw triple threat match for the WWE Title.
In-ring: Randy Orton came out first for the eight-man No DQ WrestleMania showcase match. They cut to break, but not before promoting a 24-man tag team match on ECW tomorrow night.
[Commercial Break]
[Q8]
Video package: They plugged Triple H's DVD coming out tomorrow before returning to the live show. ... In-ring: Orton, Umaga, and JBL were already in the ring. Big Show then rounded out the four-man heel team. They plugged Show and Mayweather on NBC's Today show this Wednesday morning.
Shawn Michaels was the first one out for the babyface team. An interesting, silent reaction for Michaels, as fans were focused squarely on Michaels without saying a word, which means Michaels's role in the earlier angle was spot-on. Flair then came out with a purpose and stared down Michaels. John Cena came out third and surveyed the scene. Triple H rounded out the field with his deliberate, elaborate entrance to show that everyone is going to wait for him because he's in control.
5 -- TRIPLE H & JOHN CENA & SHAWN MICHAELS & RIC FLAIR vs. WWE champion RANDY ORTON & UMAGA & JBL & BIG SHOW -- No DQ match
Michaels and Orton started things off as the announcers complimented Regal on his match-making. Barely a minute into the match, Finlay's music hit and Finlay came out on the entrance ramp. He then stormed the ringside area and JBL met him on the floor. A brawl broke out and they kept brawling while everyone in the ring stopped to watch. Cut to a break.
[Commercial Break]
They returned to the action with Michaels being cornered by the heels. They had the nice low-angle camera shot to show all of the fans in the front section standing at attention like a big outdoor/stadium show. Umaga then smashed Michaels in the corner with his running rear end splash, but Batista interrupted before he could give Michaels the Samoan Spike. Batista and Umaga started brawling on the floor and Batista landed a big spear. Their heck brook loose, and so now the heels have Big Show and Randy Orton only. Show then hip tossed Michaels across the ring and Flair tagged himself in. Show had no problems knocking the rest of the babyface team off the apron, then Show gave Flair a press slam and a frying pan-like chop to the chest. Orton kept shouting instructions to Show as the fans chanted "Big Show sucks".
[Q9 -- over-run]
Flair did a Flair flop before landing two chops, then he took a big back body drop. Show had enough of Orton running his mouth, so he talked to Orton, allowing Cena and Hunter to tag in simultaneously. They went for a double suplex on Show, but Show blocked and nailed a double suplex on Cena and Hunter. Orton kept talking, so Show hip tossed him from the apron into the ring. He gave him a chokeslam, then decided he had enough for one night.
Show walked out of the ring, then Cena put Orton in the STFU, but Hunter kicked him in the back. Cena and Hunter brawled out of the ring to the ringside area, then Flair tried to slap the figure four on Orton, but Michaels kicked Flair in the back. Michaels tried to slap on the inverted figure four on Orton, but Flair smashed him with a low blow from behind. Michaels collapsed out of the ring, then the fans came to one big crescendo as Flair slapped on the figure four on Orton. Orton flopped around the ring like a fish out of water, then he tapped out in center ring. The fans popped big, then Flair stood up and brushed back his hair before doing a round of "Woos" to all sides of the ring to close the show.
WINNERS: Team Flair in 12:00. Well, that was an interesting main event match to plug WrestleMania in six days. They did enough of a quality sales pitch on this show to where the wrestlers landing blows on each other didn't take away from the "what's it going to be like?!" mystery that WWE nursed and massaged for six weeks to build up to Mania. Flair getting that one final shining moment in Flair Country means you know who's winning at Mania, especially after Flair made no predictions on winning the match, only that he wanted to have one final great match. (**1/2)
***
Check out Jason Powell's ongoing live Raw report at our co-affiliate prowrestling.NET right now!. Also, check out his news listing for a number of exclusive breaking news stories, also, including clearing up rumors about C.M. Punk's backstage reputation and the strange twist in Konnan's lawsuit against TNA.
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