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3/27 Impact Review by Wilkenfeld: Hot starts and finish anchor a strong debut for TNA live
Mar 27, 2008 - 10:37:43 PM |
By: Daniel Wilkenfeld, PWTorch Contributor
Where We've Been: Last week saw the return of Sting's entrance music, and precious little else. The music hit at a climactic moment just as Styles, Tomko, and Team 3D beat down Christian Cage, Rhino, Kevin Nash, the Motor City Machine Guns, Shark Boy, Curry Man and the 1969 New York Mets. Thankfully Sting didn't actually show up, which is good, as otherwise all we'd have to look forward to tonight would be a sit-down interview with Karen Angle. Tonight of course is the night TNA goes live on free-TV for the first time. They seem torn over whether that's a big deal: on the one hand they're hyping it as the biggest Impact of all time, but on the other we don't really have all that much going on. There's the aforementioned return of the Stinger, a tune-up match for Kurt Angle against Styles & Tomko, and a women's title match where we pick the challenger live. How exciting that last one is depends a lot on whom the fans select—we know Kim and Kong can work a 15-20 minute main event, but I'm a little uneasy about whether ODB can stay as interesting as long. Of course the fans could swerve everyone and vote in Angelina Love, which would be all kinds of sweet.
The Show
Apparently TNA switched their slogan from "we are wrestling" to "cross the line" while I wasn't paying attention. It could work.
[Opening Credits]
We open right to Booker and Roode brawling through the crowd. Payton Banks tries to come down to Roode's aid, but Ms. Brooks intercepts here with a Spear. Security tries to break things up, and eventually creates enough separation for Cornette to book Booker vs. Roode in fans' choice match (we can choose between a First Blood Match, an I Quit Match, or a Last Man Standing Match)
JB is in the Angles' locker room with Styles & Tomko, and AJ wants to know how they got stuck doing this. He also rightly wants to know why Tomko picked Team 3D to join them at Lethal Lockdown. He also mentions that Sting might be there, but Tomko says that as the tag team champs they don't have to be afraid of anything. Angle comes in and tells them that they should be focused on their sparring contest later, because he's counting on them. He needs Tomko for his toughness and AJ for his speed, but mostly he needs them to come after him their hardest. He tells JB to start working out, because next week it might be him.
(1) Johnny Devine (w/Team 3D) defeats Alex Shelley
Does anyone know why Devine got to keep this spot over the likes of Matt Bentley? Shelley has new music, and I don't much care for it. The winner of this match will get a berth in the X Division X-scape match at Lockdown. Devine starts things off strong but gets caught with a Leaping Knee to the Face and a Springboard Bulldog/DDT. The crowd loves Alex Shelley. Devine regains control off a distraction from Devon. A Small Package gets two. Shelley gets whipped and comes off the ropes with Swinging Leg Scissors and a Tornado DDT, when the lights start flickering in a Sting-like fashion. Team 3D flee as Shelley goes ballistic on Devine on the outside, first hitting a running kick and then a brutal Suicide Dive that takes Devine back into the barricade.
They cut to the women bickering in the back. I guess we don't care that much about this match anyway.
[Commercial Break]
I tried to vote over the break, but apparently I wasn't the only one, as the website was down.
Devine is in control when we come back, stomping Shelley against the mat. Shelley comes back with some chops, a Snapmare, and a dropkick to the face. He slams Devine down to the mat and hits a Springboard Lionsault for two. He whips Devine into the corner; Devine tries to float over directly into a Cross Body Block, but Shelley ducks. An attempt at Sliced Bread #2 is reversed, and the two trade some chain wrestling covers before Devine gets Back Body Dropped over the top rope. While on the outside he covertly whacks Shelley his tripod, then comes in to hit the Devine Intervention for the win.
Lethal is in the gym with SoCal Val, which I had to admit never occurred to me as a date. He goes to lift 400 lbs. with Val spotting. Petey Williams walks by and calls him a lightweight. Sonjay runs over and offers to spot for Val, so the two of them walk away chatting as Lethal chokes on the 400 lb. bar.
Crystal is in the back with Booker T and Sharmell, and he does not look happy. He plans to insure tonight that Roode doesn't make it to Lockdown to be in the ring with his wife. Booker says that he wants Roode's blood. I assume that means that he's asking for a First Blood Match, but really he could make him bleed more in a Last Man Standing or "I Quit" Match—in a First Blood Match he has to stop as soon as Roode bleeds even a little.
[Commercial Break]
JB is in the back with Team 3D and Johnny Devine. Ray takes over the interview because they don't have any time to waste. He congratulates Devine on his win and tells him to finish their work destroying the X Division. He points out that they've never crossed paths with Sting—while he was being coddled in WCW they were working hard in ECW, and while he was destroying WCW they were tearing things up in the WWE. So they recommend they stay out of each other's way, because if Sting shows up they'll have no problem beating him down. As soon as he says that though the lights start flickering and they scatter again.
They show footage from TNA Today of Steiner putting electrodes to Petey Williams's nipples and holding his head under water. That's not cool.
(2) LAX defeat Scott Steiner, Rhaka Khan, & Petey Williams.
Steiner lures Hernandez into showing off his muscles and then just punches him. Hernandez gets away though and Slingshots Steiner into the ropes, who bounces off, lands across Hernandez's knees, and eats a Senton Splash from Homicide. Apparently that's called the Drive By. Hernandez takes Steiner out of the ring, but that allows Petey to come in and start isolating Homicide. Steiner comes back and hits a Belly-to-Belly Superplex. Petey takes over just in time to eat a Gringo Cutter, which gives Homicide enough time to get to Hernandez. He hits a Flying Shoulder Block on Steiner on his way in, a Crackerjack and some sort of Flipping German Suplex on Petey, knocks Steiner out of the ring with a dropkick, and then hits Petey with a Spinning Sit Out Powerbomb. Kahn breaks up the count at two, so Selinas jumps her from behind. Hernandez flies to the outside to kill Steiner. Homicide goes for the Gringo Killer, but it's reversed into an attempted Canadian Destroyer, which is re-reversed into a T-Bone Suplex into a bridge for 3.
We have another installment of Rough Cut. They relate how Kip gave BG the Feast or Fired briefcase, and for the first time Kip sounds like he's making sense. BG might have wanted to fulfill a dream in holding tag team gold with his father, but this was about the World Tag Team titles. He says those are everything to him, but BG says it was all a huge misunderstanding that's been massively escalated.
[Commercial Break]
It's time for Tenay's sit-down interview with Karen Angle. They talk about how real this is. I assume they're contrasting it with when she faked Joe out in August, but talking about any of these angles as "real" just looks stupid. She talks about how Kurt's obsessed with Joe and doesn't have any feeling for their family. Tenay suggests that she's been seeing someone on the TNA roster, and she confirms that she has met someone who treats her as she should be treated. I have to admit I'll be slightly amused if they're playing the exact same trick on Joe that they did last summer, but otherwise I do not see how this ends in a good and/or interesting way.
[Commercial Break]
We check out Joe's training in California. He's focusing on MMA style fighting because they're used to battling in cages. Joe says that while he's had plenty of battles with Kurt, Kurt's always had backup. Actually the first three were pretty clean, and Angle won two of them. We go to a live satellite feed with Joe, who describes his training as the most intense experience of his life. Tenay points out that Angle is 3-1 against him. Joe says that he could make excuses for why he didn't win all four of their matches, but he thinks people would rather just see him that title away from Angle. He says that he'll get that title based on hard-work, not backstage politicking, as evidenced by the fact that he won this title shot and didn't get it as a condition of signing a con…oh wait. Tenay asks if Joe regrets declaring that he'll quit if he doesn't win at Lockdown, and Joe admits that he's regretted it every day since. This is what he loves, but if he's not the best then maybe it's not worth doing.
Some MMA guy joins the announce team. I don't know why, but since he's actually not bad there's no reason to complain.
The Angle Alliance comes out for Kurt's sparring session. AJ uniquely is wearing headgear. We're going to have one-minute rounds, alternating between Tomko and AJ. Kurt starts things off with Tomko, and gets him into a side-choke right away. Tomko reaches the ropes, but Kurt hits a Double Leg Takedown and pounds Tomko's head till time is called. AJ comes in and dances around for the full minute. The crowd chants for Joe. Tomko comes in and goes immediately at Angle. This time he locks in a Front Chancery of his own, but Angle pushes him back into the ropes. Tomko picks a leg and the crowd goes ballistic, but Angle rolls through into the Angle Lock. Tomko survives the 10 seconds till the clock expires, and they shakes hands. AJ comes in, and Angle tries to lure him closer by going to the ground. They do some mat wrestling, but when Kurt starts to get the better of it AJ slips away. Angle locks in a Guillotine Choke just as time expires. He does not seem happy with the way AJ was dodging back and forth. Suddenly Christian comes out with Nash and Rhino to what I believe is a lousy remix of his music. He says that this is a joke, because while Joe's taking his training seriously Kurt's just screwing with AJ and Tomko. He says that if Angle wants a real contest then they're happy to offer their services. Angle flees as they come to the ring. They brawl with Styles & Tomko till Team 3D come out and give the heels the numerical advantage. Ray gets Tomko to get him a table—they set Christian on it and look ready to pounce when the lights go out. A few seconds later they come back on, and Sting's in the ring holding a bat. All four members of Team Tomko flee as Sting beats up the table for no clear reason. He says that there's no reason to wait for Lockdown when they can fight here tonight. Tomko accepts.
[Commercial Break]
JB is in the back with Robert Roode, and it seems that Booker got his First Blood Match. He says that Booker's plan won't work, because come hell or high water he'll get his skanky wife inside a cage at Lockdown and make his worst nightmares a reality. Booker might want his blood, but he wants Booker's too, and at Lockdown he'll want his wife's.
(3) Booker T. defeats Robert Roode
Booker goes after Roode right away with some punches and a couple big kicks. Tenay announces that our main-event will be brought to us commercial free courtesy of the Forbidden Kingdom, which is admittedly kind of cool. Booker whiffs on a Scissors Kick and an attempted Bookend, but then he just dumps Roode out of the ring with a Back Body Drop.
[Commercial Break]
We come back just in time to see Roode nail a DDT on Booker on the apron. He rolls him back into and sets up a chair in the ring. Booker tries to fight back but Roode Drop Toe Holds him into the chair. Booker's still not bleeding, so Roode follows up with some knuckles to the forehead. He sets up the chair in the corner, but Booker reverses the attempted Irish Whip and Roode suffers a chair to the back. They trade blows in the ring till Roode creates some distance with a Knee Lift. He goes for the chair, but Booker gets it away. Booker tosses it back to Roode, looking for a modified Van Daminator, but Roode dodges and tosses it back into Booker's head. He tries to follow up with another chair shot but Booker steps aside and the chair bounces off the ropes and back into Roode's head. Booker goes to check on him on the outside—Roode tries to get him with a Piledriver, but Booker reverses it into a Slingshot into the ring-post for game. That was Roode's best showing in ages, if not ever.
Crystal is in the back with Kong and Raisha Saeed, who has another statement from Kong. It doesn't matter who the fans choose, because whomever they vote for it will be a vote for defeat and destruction. She wishes peace upon us.
[Commercial Break]
JB is in the back with Gail Kim and ODB. He tells them that with 10,000 votes in only 500 separated the two of them, but tonight ODB gets the nod.
(4) Awesome Kong (w/Raisha Saeed) defeats ODB.
ODB tries to chop down Kong to start, but I'm pretty sure Kong is wearing chain mail. She once again tries to Body Slam Kong, and this time manages to get Kong off her feet and horizontal before falling backwards. Kong starts tossing her around before settling briefly into a Camel Clutch. ODB tries to power out, but just gets whipped into the corner and eats an obscenely painful looking Stinger Splash. Kong locks in another Clutch-like maneuver, but ODB knocks her off as the crowd comes alive. She tries to bounce off the ropes, and while she doesn't knock Kong down, she doesn't go down herself either. Kong fixes that by knocking her to the ground, but whiffs on a big Splash attempt. ODB tries to take Kong off her feet with some Running Clotheslines and a dropkick before finally getting her on her back with a Lou Thesz Press off the top rope. Kong kicks out emphatically at two. She charges ODB, who steps aside and counters with a Face Plant for two. Kong gets up and smoothly segues into the Spinning Back Fist and the Awesome Bomb for three.
[Commercial Break]
Crystal is in the back with Team Christian, and she says that she "has a feeling" they'll "get a preview" with Lethal Lockdown here tonight—so not all her lines can be winners. Christian goes over how he built his team. Some say people can't change, but that's only half true—while he's trying to change some of his ways, it's still the case that whether he's waking up or changing his tires or playing Kerplunk, he's still the champ, and still strives to be the best. And if we don't know, then now we know.
(5) Team Christian defeats Team Tomko
Team Tomko comes out first, and for some reason when Rhino sprints to the middle of the ring they decide to give him space and wait for the rest of his team. That's surprisingly sportsmanlike. Nash enters after Cage, which seems weird to me. The Impact Zone is still excited to see Sting. AJ and Christian start things off. Christian hits a slap in the face and a Drop Toe Hold but misses an Unprettier. AJ hits a Back Rake and goes for his Leaping Inverted DDT but Cage steps aside. AJ goes for something in the corner but gets reversed with a Corkscrew Elbow off the middle rope. Nash and Tomko come in, and the crowd thinks that Nash has still got it. He slams Tomko down and then gives Rhino a turn. Tomko regains control and brings in Team 3D. Rhino gets trapped in the wrong corner and Styles and Tomko hit a Wishbone Split with the ring-post. The crowd wants Sting as Devon beats down Rhino with a Body Slam. Brother Ray hits a Splash off the middle rope for two. Tomko comes in with the Rear Chinlock of Doom, but Rhino powers out quickly. Tomko drops him with a Spinning Elbow and brings in Brother Ray to lock in a Body Scissors. AJ comes in to continue the assault, hitting a high dropkick before tagging back out. Brother Ray shoots Brother Devon at Rhino, but the Man Beast ducks Devon and clothesline Ray. He just reaches Sting before they can intercept, and Sting takes out all four members of Team Tomko without breaking a sweat. When he tries to cinch in a Scorpion Death Lock on AJ Styles everything breaks down. There's some brawling, and Tomko tries to lift Sting up for some kind of slam but gets reversed into a Scorpion Death Drop. Team 3D hit a Double Neckbreaker on Sting, but Nash takes them out with a clothesline and a Choke Slam. Tomko takes out Nash, only to eat a Tornado DDT from Christian. Styles comes in with a Leaping Forearm to take out Christian, but Sting Press Slams him out of the ring onto Tomko as the crowd chants for TNA. Team 3D come back in and set up for a 3D, but Sting hangs onto the ropes as Rhino Gores Brother Ray out of the ring. Left alone in the center of the ring, Sting gets a Scorpion Death Lock onto Devon. Team Christian keep the rest of Team Tomko away from the ring, and Devon has no choice but to tap.
After the match Team Christian celebrates in the ring, complete with pyro. Suddenly James Storm appears out of nowhere and cracks a beer bottle over the back of Sting's head. Tenay says he did not see this coming, and I agree—though I do think Storm's push into the main-event picture is long overdue.
Where We're Going:So I was thinking of writing about how Steiner's treatment of Petey bears a conspicuous resemblance to the treatment of prisoners at Guantanomo Bay, and use that as a springboard to talk about what separates a good controversial wrestling angle from a bad one. Bizarrely, I can't think of a single good one. Austin was very slightly controversial, but that's about it. Muhammad Hassan started okay but fell into absurdity fairly quickly, Iraqi sympathizing Sergeant Slaughter is not generally considered one of WWE's better programs, and Angle's troop bashing just came off silly. It's actually kind of weird—I would think wrestling, with its disregard for so many social norms, would be ideally situated to explore politically charged phenomena from a fresh angle. Somehow though, they always fail miserably. Maybe they don't have enough faith in their fan base to do anything in a non one-dimensional fashion, but otherwise I'm stumped. Given their horrible track record though, I would think staying away from such things is probably the right play.
Overall: This show was a huge step up from last week. From the hot opening on it was relatively fast-paced, and all the matches were competent to really good. The main event was a perfect one-two punch—a feel good finish to a match followed by a surprising (if admittedly under motivated) twist at the end. With the obvious exception of the Karen Angle interview this was a very good show. A-
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