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KELLER'S ECW REPORT
APRIL 8, 2008
BOSTON MASS. - ON SCI-FI

-Joey Styles introduced the show and hyped the Chavo Guerrero vs. Kane contract signing for Backlash. Tazz said, "It's big time in B-town."

1 -- THE MIZ vs. C.M. PUNK.

Miz and John Morrison came out to Miz's music. Morrison immediately joined Tazz and Styles at ringside. Morrison said it's a shame he took a crotch shot and not Punk because Punk won't be using parts from that area anytime soon. Morrison summed up his and Miz as "fur coats and hats." Imagine that gimmick pitch meeting with Vince McMahon. Morrison said Punk fans will wake up some day and realize they're following a loser. He said they need to follow a winner like him, whom they can "pattern their vibes after." Morrison said Punk is "more overrated than one of those Ric Flair sendoff videos." Punk hit a springboard clothesline at 7:00. Morrison jumped onto the apron to distract Punk. Miz surprised Punk with a running clothesline for a near fall. The ref sent Morrison to the back. Morrison grabbed his tag belt and left, but kicked the steps and threw a tantrum on his way.

[Commercial Break]

Miz hit a slingshot splash at 14:00 for a near fall. Punk came back with a roundkick to Miz's head, then followed up with a running knee in the corner and a bulldog followed by the GTS for the win.

WINNER: Punk in 15:00.

STAR RATING: **1/2 -- Good action throughout.

-Backstage they showed Armando Estrada looking at a clipboard. Someone knocked on his door. Tommy Dreamer and a nervous-looking Colin Delaney walked in. Delaney asked if he had a spare moment to talk about a possible ECW contract. Estrada said no. Dreamer asked him to give him an opportunity. Estrada said Delaney has to beat Dreamer to earn a contract, but if he senses Dreamer goes easy on him, he's fired.

[Commercial Break]

-Estrada stood mid-ring to introduced the ECW Title match contract signing for Backlash. He introduced challenger Chavo first, who walked out with Zach Ryder and Curt Hawkins. Styles said Ryder and Hawkins are close associates of Chavo now. Then Kane's ring intro took place. Estrada said since they reviewed the contracts earlier, now is the time to sign it. As Kane was about to sign it, Chavo asked if he was sure he wanted to sign away his title. Kane grabbed the mic and laughed. He said, "You know Chavo, you seem awfully cocky for someone that lost this championship in just eight seconds at WrestleMania." Chavo said, "Oh, you mean the same WrestleMania where you cheated and where you attacked me from behind." He said at Backlash he'll have someone watching his back. Out walked a big bald guy with a beard. When Kane stood up to meet him on the ring apron, Ryder and Hawkins jumped him. It led to a four-on-one attack. Chavo ordered the new guy to hit Kane with his belt. Chavo then frog splashed Kane through the table as the other three heels held Kane in place. They went to a close-up of Kane bleeding from his forehead. Chavo then signed the contract as fans chanted, "Chavo sucks! Chavo sucks!" The new guy looked like Kofi Kingston if he shaved his head, grew out a beard, turned Caucasian, became more stocky, and dressed totally differently.

[Commercial Break]

2 -- ELIJAH BURKE vs. NUNZIO

What does this make Nunzio, a jobber to jobbers? Burke has been treated as a jobber lately, so WWE should really give fans a reason to care about him wrestling anyone at this point. After the win, Styles said Burke may have gotten the entire locker room's attention.

WINNER: Burke in 3:00.

[Commercial Break]

3 -- KOFI KINGSTON vs. DOMINO

No sign of Deuce or Cherry. This isn't a good sign for his WWE future when he's jobbing to Kofi (we know for sure now that the new guy earlier wasn't Kofi; it's actually developmental wrestler Justin LaRoche) without any fanfare or even the presence of his cohorts. A brief soundbite aired with Kofi before the match. He did the 1980s babyface promo about wanting to bring good vibrations and the Jamaican flavor to fans. Tazz really touted Kofi bringing something different to the ring with his style. Styles said he grew up in a rough neighborhood and is so proud to have made it as the first Jamaican WWE Superstar.

WINNER: Kofi in 3:00 after his 360 degree roundhouse kick (which Domino pretty much completely blocked with his forearm, which was hidden on a different camera angle for the slo-mo replay).

-Layla told Eve to scram as she was talking to Kelly Kelly. Layla told her if she sees her around ECW again, she'll be sorry.

[Commercial Break]

-A commercial aired inviting Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton to solve their differences in a wrestling match. They said a week from Monday it will happen. Oh, we can't wait for more bad, unsophisticated, heavy-handed, slap-stick political spoofery from WWE.

-After a replay of Chavo splashing Kane through a table earlier, they advertised that Kane and Undertaker would be on ECW next week.

4 -- COLIN DELANEY vs. TOMMY DREAMER

It's really odd to see a wrestler come to the ring without intro music. It's a great touch that they do that for Delaney; it's also a real throwback to 1980s house shows where quite a few wrestlers didn't have intro music. Estrada sat at ringside to make sure Dreamer didn't take it easy on Delaney. Tazz and Styles said they couldn't imagine Dreamer being fired from ECW; they believed he wouldn't risk it by going soft on Delaney. At 3:00 Delaney knocked Dreamer off the second rope. Dreamer landed with a thud (how else does he land?). Dreamer came back quickly, though, and hung Delaney upside down in the corner. He gave him his basement dropkick from there. Dreamer then DDT'd Delaney for the win.
WINNER: Dreamer in 4:00.

STAR RATING: 3/4* - Okay match. Not a lot to it, though.

Final Thoughts: Okay, why didn't Dreamer give Delaney a beating and not break at the five count, thus he wouldn't have been accused of going soft on Delaney, but Delaney would have won (by DQ), this Delaney would have gotten the contract? Also, just a week after suggesting they take out all of the filler and recap stuff and pack ECW with more original content, they do exactly that. If they keep this up, I'm on the hook predicting the ratings will creep up back toward 2.0.

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