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By James Caldwell, Torch columnist

TNA Impact on Spike TV
May 8, 2008
Taped Apr. 29 in Orlando, Florida
Report by James Caldwell, Torch columnist

Opening: They started with Jim Cornette in the ring standing behind the table with the TNA Tag Titles on display. Cornette then brought out the egotistical eight for the Deuces Wild tournament. Matt Morgan, Kip James, B.G. James, James Storm, Booker T, Robert Roode, Sting, and Awesome Kong came out on stage. Cornette said everyone has been ringing his phone asking about their partner for the PPV, well, except for Sting, who's just a swell fellow. Cornette said he's going to draw two of the teams tonight. He drew Sting as the first name. Sting then drew his partner's name as James Storm.

Sting and Storm had a summit in the ring. Storm made it clear they're not friends and he doesn't want to be his partner at the PPV. Sting decked Storm with a right hand, then a brawl broke out between them. Sting picked up a baseball bat to clear away Storm, who picked up a beer bottle. Cornette then booked Sting vs. Storm for tonight in a No DQ match.

Backstage: Borash found a limo pulling up backstage. Out walked Petey, Steiner, and freak. Suddenly Kurt Angle walked over and cut off Steiner. After both men pulled off their shades, Angle said they work as a team for one night only to eliminate Joe and Nash. He said they take out Joe, then Steiner gets his one-on-one match for the TNA Title. How would they have a title match when Joe is champ? They'd have to kill him and force TNA to strip Joe of the title. In any event, Steiner and Angle shook on their agreement for tonight.

[Commercial Break]

Video package: They hyped Terrordome at the PPV.

1 -- X Division champion PETEY WILLIAMS vs. JOHNNY DEVINE vs. CONSEQUENCES CREED vs. CURRY MAN vs. SHARK BOY vs. JIMMY RAVE -- non-title match

Terrordome will apparently determine the #1 Contender to the X Division. Tenay basically said it will give them a chance to do a bunch of highspots. Tenay plugged Rick Steiner at Sacrifice in Scott Steiner's corner, and Frank Trigg on commentary. The action broke down at 5:00, then Petey nailed a huracanrana on the floor on Rave. Creed then took out everyone with a somersault dive. Back in the ring, Petey went for the Destroyer on Curry, but Rave caught him with a step-up enziguiri kick. Apparently that was the kick that smashed Petey's eye, as he quickly rolled out of the ring and disappeared. Rave with a modified Rock Bottom on Curry for the pin and the win. Afterward, Hoyt, Rave, and Hemme celebrated ringside as if they won the Super Bowl.

WINNER: Rave in 8:00. Final few minutes showcased highspots to sell a highspot gimmick match at the PPV. So, I suppose the intention was carried out. Otherwise, nothing memorable here. (*)

Backstage: Borash brought in Sting for another interview. After Borash talked for a while, he asked Sting about facing Storm one-on-one tonight. Sting said he loves it because it's pro wrestling - a three-ring circus ripe for him. He said they're going to beat each other up, then work out their differences, and team up in Deuces Wild at the PPV.

[Commercial Break]

Video package: They aired a video package on LAX, which picked up Hector Guerrero's services last week in quest for the TNA Tag Titles. ... Tenay and West then talked about LAX as one of the established teams in Deuces Wild. Other established teams: Team 3D, Styles & Super Eric, and Cage & Rhino. West talked about the random draw for the remaining Egoistical Eight for the tournament.

Cornette office: The knockouts were screaming and shouting in Jim Cornette's office. He quieted them down, then talked about the title shot and head-shaving opportunity at the PPV. Cornette said he's not a big meanie; he's like a father-figure for them. He booked them in a match tonight where the person who wins is immune from getting her head shaved at the PPV. The deal is that it will be a pole match, which led to the inevitable stripper joke. A pair of scissors will be on the pole and the person who grabs the scissors is immune. He said it's a good way to grab some ratings to make him look good, then the people who pay good hard money for Sacrifice will get to see a head shaved. He sent them away to prepare to fight.

[Commercial Break]

Backstage: Borash brought in Christian Cage and Rhino for an interview. Christian said they have the advantage over the other teams because they've been together longer than anyone else. Team 3D stepped in and mocked Christian. Brother Ray did some math, which Steiner got in trouble for last week. Ray then started to make a momma joke a few days before Mother's day, which set off Christian. A brawl broke out backstage and Ray choked Christian with a chain. Team 3D was clearly in control of this as the brawl continued, then LAX's Hernandez showed up and gave Christian a border toss into a dark area of the floor. Homicide then screamed at the camera that LAX is the favorite in Deuces Wild.

[Commercial Break]

2 -- KNOCKOUTS POLE MATCH

A wild brawl broke out once the bell sounded. Traci, ODB, and Gail teased climbing the pole, but they were each yanked down. At 3:00, they went into a series of finishing moves leading to a giant Tower of Doom spot. Suddenly, Jacqueline realized she was alone in the ring, but ODB caught her as she started climbing. ODB dropped Jacqueline with the Electric Chair, then Gail quickly scaled the pole and grabbed the scissors to win.

WINNER: Gail Kim in 5:00. Fine for what TNA intended of delivering plenty of T&A under the guise of athletic competition. TNA has to be careful not to kill the golden goose, which is the knockouts delivering quarterly ratings. (n/a)

Backstage: Crystal brought in Samoa Joe and Kevin Nash, who was holding the TNA Tile while Joe discussed Angle and Steiner's plan. He said there is a fatal flaw in the plan: he has an insurance policy named Kevin Nash. Joe told Angle and Steiner they better bring bats and pipes because they'll never take the belt away from him. He said he will die before he gives up the belt. Joe left, then Crystal asked Nash for comment. Nash said that's the intangible he's looking for. He then pointed to his head and walked off.

[Commercial Break]

3 -- JAMES STORM vs. STING

This started on the floor as a brawl. Not surprisingly, they did the spot where the heel went face-first through the PPV poster covering the hole at the base of the grandstands. Tenay said Sting is going old school by beating up Storm, then beating him up some more. Why is that old school? That's how it should be; not trying to do a bunch of acrobatic, co-operative highspots. Storm blasted Sting in the eyes with some beer, which set up Storm's attack on the t-shirt-wearing Sting. The ref was KO'ed, then Jacqueline slipped Storm a steel chair. Storm missed with the chair shot, then Sting nailed an enziguiri kick. He then followed with a steel chair shot to the head. Storm with the cover on Sting and the ref did a super slow count for a nearfall. They rushed that so quickly that it meant nothing. Sting then came back with a top rope splash for a nearfall. Sting stole a baseball bat from Jacqueline, then he smashed Storm in the gut and nailed a reverse DDT. Sting then splashed Storm through a table in the corner. He finished off Storm with the death drop for the pin.

WINNER: Sting in 5:00. The whole thing felt over-rehearsed with the announcers sounding like they were reading directly from a script while the wrestlers went through the motions of a WCW-style bag-of-tricks match. (1/2*)

Backstage: Borash brought in Kip James, who was wearing a ridiculously too-tight outfit. Kip told Borash not to hate, then Kip said no one is on the same planet as the megastar, Kip James. He said he's taken three different partners to tag team gold and he sets the standard for tag team wrestling. Kip said he even made DX. The obligatory WWE reference based on TNA's inferiority complex included Kip mocking HBK, Hunter, and saying he kinda liked Kid. Kip said no one can match up to the megastar.

[Commercial Break]

In-ring: Jim Cornette was in the ring with the TNA Tag Title belts on the table. He then brought out the other six members of Egotistical Eight. More ring entrances for these folks. Cornette drew Morgan's name, which gave Morgan the choice of tag partner. He reached into the fishbowl and selected a name. Cornette read the name: Kip James. Oh my, what a coincidence! Kip then stepped into the ring and Morgan smiled at the idea of teaming with Kip, who took the mic and told Morgan he will give the orders at Sacrifice. Morgan nodded that he understood. Cornette asked Morgan if he has anything to say in reply. Morgan said he has two words for him: suck it. He did the world's quickest crotch chop, then Morgan and Kip brawled in the ring until security broke them up. Cornette had enough and told security to leave so he could start the match. They cut to break with Kip reeling.

[Commercial Break]

4 -- MATT MORGAN vs. KIP JAMES

Morgan dominated out of the break with Kip flopping around the ring like a fish out of water. Kip missed with a leap in the corner, then Morgan with the bicycle kick for the pin and the win.

WINNER: Morgan in 3:00 of TV time.

Backstage: Crystal interviewed B.G. James about him being part of the remaining four of the eight. B.G. said his path never crossed with Booker, so they're like two dogs running in separate packs. He said he doesn't mix with Robert Roode because he has money and B.G. claimed he's as broke as a convict. B.G. said he wants Kong as his partner because the times, they are a-changing.

[Commercial Break]

Announcers: Tenay and West broke down the PPV line-up for Sunday. They plugged Deuces Wild, Terrordome, Knockouts Makeover gimmick match, and the biggest three-way in TNA history with Joe vs. Angle vs. Steiner. Still have to call Joe vs. Styles vs. Daniels as their biggest three-way ever.

Backstage: Borash brought in Steiner, Angle, Petey, and Freak to talk about Joe and Nash. Steiner said he doesn't like Angle, but they have to hurt Joe for a common purpose of getting rid of him as champion. They nearly came to blows until Petey stepped in to talk some sense into both of them. He called for ten minutes of peace working together against Joe. Petey slowly led his team away while Angle thought it over.

[Commercial Break]

Video package: They hyped the TNA Title match in the main event of Sacrifice. ... Ring entrances took place for the main event. West said the good thing about Joe is that he knows he can trust Kevin Nash, while the other side has more questions.

[Commercial Break]

5 -- TNA champion SAMOA JOE & KEVIN NASH vs. KURT ANGLE & SCOTT STEINER (w/Rhaka Khan)

Nash started things off with the strategy to keep Joe fresh for the PPV by having Nash sacrifice his body for a beating. Angle and Steiner beat down Nash to start things off, then Nash came back with a sidewalk slam at 4:00. The silver fox made the hot tag to Joe, but Steiner had the ref occupied. Joe blasted the heels anyways, then he slapped the rear naked choke on Steiner. Angle came from behind with the Olympic Slam, then ref Hebner rolled Joe to the apron since he's not legal. The distraction allowed Steiner to smash Nash with a pipe, then Angle hit the Olympic Slam. Steiner made the cover on Nash as the legal man for the pin and the win.

Post-match: Angle wasn't happy with Steiner stealing the pin, then Steiner demanded ref Hebner raise their hands in victory. Steiner posed in victory, but Angle took Steiner off the top with the Olympic Slam. He then slapped on the ankle lock while Freak simply looked on from the outside, apparently not willing to help her man. Steiner tapped repeatedly as Angle screamed. No sign of Joe. End show.

WINNERS: Angle & Steiner in 6:00. Fine. Didn't feel like the epic lead-in to Sacrifice, but they got the point across. Just not the same level of intrigue for Joe vs. Angle last month. (*1/2)

Video package: They aired a final Sacrifice PPV video to close the show.

We welcome your 1-10 score and comments on this show for an "Impact Reax" feature in the Torch Feedback section of PWTorch.com. To contribute your thoughts on Impact, click here.

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