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By James Caldwell, PWTorch columnist

WWE Smackdown Report
May 23, 2008
Des Moines, Iowa

The show started with Justin Roberts announcing Vickie Guerrero for an important announcement. Edge then wheeled Vickie out on stage and the fans weren't very welcoming of Vickie, who tried to say no one knows what it's like to run a huge TV show like Smackdown. Vickie said she still tries to fulfill all duties as GM, which includes enforcing rules and regulations. She said ref Robinson made the mistake of awarding Taker the belt at Judgment Day when Edge was counted out. Vickie then made an announcement of Tables, Ladders, and Chairs at One Night Stand with Edge vs. Taker for the belt and Taker's career on the line.

[Commercial Break]

1 -- JESSE & FESTUS & CHERRY vs. DEUCE & DOMINO & MARYSE

Cole said the babyface team is like Grease meets Of Mice and Men. Yes, indeed. Foley dumped on Cherry for contributing to the demise of Deuce and Domino, which is why they needed to change the parts on the car and bring in Maryse. Foley asked Cole to name the last time D&D won a tag match on Smackdown. Last time was summer '07. Yikes. Naturally, heels ganged up on Jesse to set up a hot tag to Cherry at 4:00. Maryse was in the ring as well, and the divas battled until the action broke down. The men scrambled to the outside, then Maryse punted Cherry in the face and made a cover for the win.

WINNERS: Team Maryse in 5:00. Man, this dragged. At least Foley and Cole's commentary was halfway entertaining talking about how big of losers D&D are. (1/2*)

[Q2]

Backstage: Vickie, Edge, and Chavo had a pow-wow. Vickie booked Chavo against Undertaker tonight. Chavo became upset, then Edge subtly suggested maybe Chavo is afraid. Chavo snapped back that he's not afraid of anyone. Edge reassured Chavo that everyone will have his back tonight because...there's nothing more important than family. Subtle teasing of la familia dumping Chavo.

[Commercial Break]

MVP Lounge: MVP brought out the former Smackdown G.M. Teddy Long to tell his side of the story on quitting last week. Cole said it hasn't been a good week for authority figures, as Long quit Smackdown and Regal was fired from Raw. With Long out there, MVP said there's a change in plans. He said he was originally going to let Teddy tell his side of the story, but now that Teddy is fired, he's going to tell Teddy everything he doesn't like about him for putting him through crap ever since he started here. MVP rambled on, then Teddy tried to leave, but MVP held him by the throat.

Batista's music interrupted and he strolled out in a full-leather outfit. Batista walked through the velvet rope after being granted instant access to the VIP Lounge. MVP told Batista to slow his roll on trying to play hero. Batista told MVP to slow down because he simply wanted to wish Teddy good wishes. He said Teddy was a fair general manager and it was a pleasure working with him. Batista then told MVP if he ever puts his hands on Teddy again, he'll shove his fist down MVP's throat.

MVP snapped back that he doesn't appreciate being disrespected like this. Batista said he's not being disrespectful. He said this is disrespectful. Batista then started to kick over some props before overturning the couches. "That is disrespectful!" he said. Batista then punched a hole in the shaded curtain. "That is definitely disrespectful," he said. MVP stormed off with a pouty face while Batista stood tall in the ring.

[Q3]

[Commercial Break]

Backstage: MVP approached Vickie and Edge about doing something about Batista's disrespectful behavior. Vickie suggested a match of MVP vs. Batista. MVP pitched a fit, then Vickie told him to slow down and get his stuff ready because the match is tonight. MVP turned and walked off, then Chavo suddenly appeared to interject some random thoughts.

2 -- FINLAY (w/Hornswoggle) vs. CHUCK PALUMBO

Foley said Palumbo coming to the ring on a bike reminds him of John Laurinaitis riding to the ring on a skateboard back in the day. Cole was speechless. Foley said it was very dynamic. Paging Shane Douglas. Palumbo dominated early, then Hornswoggle tried to distract Palumbo by spraying him with a super-soaker. Palumbo shook it off and kicked Finlay hard in the face to knock him to the floor. He continued his attack, then Finlay side-stepped a corner clothesline and started nailing offense. [Q4] Palumbo cut him off, then he tried to get his hands on Hornswoggle, but Hornswoggle spewed green mist in his face. Finlay then blasted Palumbo with the shillelagh behind the ref's back and made the cover for the win.

WINNER: Finlay in 8:00. Oh, Palumbo. Match was just standard TV fare in the Kids half-hour of Smackdown. (*1/4)

Backstage: They showed MVP warming up in the locker room to face Batista.

[Commercial Break]

[Q5 -- second hour]

3 -- BATISTA vs. MVP

MVP ducked Batista to start things off. Batista continued to frustrate MVP, so MVP ducked to the floor for a breather. Back in the ring, they had a nice exchange before Batista smashed MVP in the face with a high boot. Nice athleticism from Batista here. Foley is painting a nice picture of the stretcher match between Batista and Michaels at the One Night Stand PPV. MVP came back with a drop toe hold into the bottom turnbuckle, leading to the big Chono boot. Cut to a break.

[Commercial Break]

They returned with MVP working on Batista, including a hard toss shoulder-first into the ringpost. Foley said MVP lost his way as U.S. champion, wrestling not to lose instead of wrestling to win. He said losing the belt has restored MVP's hunger for success. MVP with a neckbreaker at 10:00 for a nearfall. He became a little too casual and Batista nailed a spear to begin his comeback. He then delivered a one-arm spinebuster before delivering the Batistabomb for the pin and the win.

WINNER: Batista in 13:00. Typical Batista match with the heel working an upper body part, then Batista overcoming the pain to struggle into a spinebuster/powerbomb combo for the win. Good commentary from Foley, who talked about MVP needing to find his hunger again and Batista needing to overcome pain and adversity to win a stretcher match over Michaels. (**)

[Q6]

[Commercial Break]

Video package: They showed clips of the Piper-Santino-Jimmy Kimmel's cousin angle from the last week.

4 -- KOSLOV vs. NUNZIO

No music. Dark lighting. Let's ring the bell for Russia vs. Italy. Koslov with an overhead slam at 1:00, then Nunzio tried to fight back with kicks, but Koslov quickly ended that with the blockhead butt. Koslov then did the spot of punting Nunzio off the top rope into a fireman's carry position for the lights out reverse DDT. It's such a better move when it's spontaneous and not set up. In any event, Koslov with the pin for the win.

WINNER: Koslov in 2:00. Just a squash. Let's hurry up and get somewhere with this. Apparently it will be Foley vs. Koslov after Foley continues to tease Koslov on his name and accomplishments. (n/a)

[Commercial Break]

[Q7]

5 -- U.S. champion MATT HARDY vs. ELIJAH BURKE & SHELTON BENJAMIN

We can take Elijah's face off the milk carton, as he finally appeared on WWE TV after another hiatus. Cole said Hardy achieved a life-long goal of becoming U.S. champion. I must have missed that on the DVD that Hardy came out of the womb wanting the U.S. Title. Foley tried to make an analogy to Shelton taking away Kofi's win streak on ECW this past Tuesday to one of his kids taking away a toy from the other. Foley admittedly realized the error of his analogy and quickly moved on. He then gave Cole the raspberry. Or someone had flatulence. In any event, Kofi fired up at 5:00 and gave Shelton the boom-boom leg drop. He then came off the top with a high cross body block for a nearfall. Match broke down and Hardy dumped Burke to the floor. Kofi suddenly nailed Shelton with a roundhouse kick for the pin and the win.

WINNERS: Kofi & Hardy in 6:00. Fine match. Kofi gets his revenge on Shelton and all is right. But, whoever took Matt Hardy's charisma as U.S. champion needs to return it immediately. (*)

[Commercial Break]

Raw Rebound focused on William Regal being a ratings-killer before Regal lost the loser-leaves-town match against Mr. Kennedy. ... Announcers then broke down the One Night Stand PPV card. As announced in the first hour, it's Edge vs. Undertaker in a TLC match for the World Hvt. Title.

Backstage: They showed Chavo Guerrero walking ahead of Edge, Bam, Hawkins, and Ryder for the main event match up next.

[Q8]

[Commercial Break]

In-ring: Undertaker did his lengthy ring entrance while Cole and Foley talked about Taker's career being on the line if he doesn't win TLC against Edge. Boy, that's a stipulation that requires more than two weeks to build-up and establish the significance of Taker's career being over if he doesn't win. Chavo then walked out with la familia for the main event.

6 -- THE UNDERTAKER vs. CHAVO GUERRERO (w/La Familia)

Taker with Old School in the opening minute, but la familia interfered to give Chavo the advantage. Referee Charles Robinson then tossed la familia from ringside, leaving Chavo alone against Taker. Well, Bam Neely was allowed to hang around. Chavo tossed Taker to the outside at 3:00, then he tried a leaping dive off the apron, but Taker caught him in mid-air and rammed him into the ringpost. Back in the ring, Taker worked on Chavo's back before nailing the snake eyes and big boot combo. Bam tried to distract everyone, but Taker knocked him off the apron. Chavo then kicked Taker in the groin behind the ref's back. Chavo tried a frog splash, but Taker sat up and caught him in mid air. Taker transitioned into a Tombstone Piledriver for the pin and the win.

WINNER: Taker in 6:00. No surprise here that Taker would win rather easily over Chavo. This didn't do anything to put Taker in a position of being threatened by Edge ahead of their PPV match in nine days. No sense of urgency to build up the TLC match. Regarding the familia storyline, Edge getting the group booted from ringside sets up more questions about Edge really having Chavo's back. Intriguing. (*)

We still welcome your 1-10 score and comments on this show for a "Smackdown Reax" feature in the Torch Feedback section of PWTorch.com. To contribute your thoughts on Smackdown, click here.

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