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CALDWELL'S TNA IMPACT REPORT 6/19: Ongoing "virtual time" coverage of Spike TV show
Jun 19, 2008 - 10:00:51 PM |
By James Caldwell, PWTorch columnist
TNA Impact on Spike TV
June 19, 2008
Taped June 10 in Orlando, Florida
Report by James Caldwell, Torch columnist
They opened with Jay Lethal at the Pink Taco screaming at the camera. Apparently Sonjay Dutt no-showed the battle at the bachelor party locale. He screamed at Dutt he better show up to get what's coming to him for ruining his wedding with Val. ... Tonight's theme is "Fur Will Fly at the Pink Taco." Yipee.
Impact Zone: After Mike Tenay and Don West broke down the line-up for tonight, Booker T came to the ring. B.G. James made a random appearance, then Booker jumped him on the floor.
1 -- BOOKER T vs. B.G. JAMES
They cut backstage two minutes in to show Samoa Joe sitting with Jeremy Borash in the locker room watching the match intently. West explained that Joe gave up the keys to his special locker room because he wanted to be "one of the people" and not receive special treatment. That's such a tired cliché. Booker dominated the match, then B.G. fired back at 3:00 with right hand blows. Booker quickly cut him off with the axe kick, though. Booker with a cover for the easy win.
WINNER: Booker T in 4:00. Just an opener to give Booker an easy win. (1/2*)
Backstage: Borash interviewed Joe after the victory for Booker. Joe got defensive when Borash repeated Kevin Nash's line last week about Booker having the edge on Joe. Kevin Nash stepped in and Joe started ranting and raving on Nash. Joe screamed at Nash to show him what his words of wisdom mean and step in the ring with Booker. Nash, after being screamed at for a minute, calmly rubbed his hands and said he'll step in the ring next week against Booker and show Joe that it's more mental than physical. He walked away, then Joe stormed off the opposite way. Ugh.
[Commercial Break]
[Q2]
Video package: They focused on the World X Cup talent search to find the best athletes for international competition. Apparently there are several rounds to this. Finale at Victory Road will take place in an Ultimate X match. Yes, climbing the monkey bars makes you the best in the world.
In-ring: Daivari and Tyson Dux came to the ring for a World X Cup tag match. Daivari, who is completely bald now, is doing an Iranian gimmick in a real stretch from his WWE career. Sabin and Shelley then came out to face the Team Int'l reps.
2 -- TYSON DUX & DAIVARI (Team International) vs. CHRIS SABIN & ALEX SHELLEY (Team TNA) -- World X Cup first round match
Five minutes into the match, they suddenly cut backstage where A.J. Styles was brawling with Tomko in the weight room. They cut to a split-screen of Styles smacking Tomko with a chair to the gut, then totally whiffing on a chair to the head and nailing a locker. Tomko collapsed to the floor and they cut to a break.
[Commercial Break]
The opening round match continued with Sabin taking a beating from the default heels. Apparently Sabin and Shelley didn't pick up any points with a victory over Team Japan last week, but one point is on the line in this match. Shelley took the hot tag at 10:00 and cleaned house. He then went up top and nailed a frog splash on Daivari, but it was good for a two count only. Guns lured Daivari into a false sense of security, then nailed him with a double superkick. Action broke down, then Shelley nailed Daivari with sliced bread #2 from the corner for the pin and the win.
WINNERS: Sabin & Shelley in 13:00 to score 1 point for Team TNA. High-energy affair with a fast-paced sequence to finish the match. Very heavy on forgettable spots, but the type of in-ring action expected by viewers of this show. (**1/4)
[Q3]
Backstage: They showed A.J. Styles attacking a bald man. Announcers made an ass out of u and me, thinking it was Kurt Angle. Styles hollered at the bald man, then rolled him over to reveal a KO'ed Frank Trigg. Styles then stormed off in frustration.
[Commercial Break]
Video package: Gail Kim was interviewed about her beginnings in the wrestling business. They included some old footage of Gail starting out as a 23-year-old in Toronto. Scott D'Amore reappeared on TV to discuss the Border City Wrestling promotion, where Gail started to learn about the business. Simon Diamond was interviewed. TNA, in their weekly attempt to stay relevant by referencing WWE, focused on Gail's national exposure as WWE Women's champion before establishing herself as a top female wrestler in TNA.
Announcers: Tenay and West brought in Karen Angle, who was joined via satellite from Pittsburgh. Karen said she was so scared when Awesome Kong put her hands on Karen last week. "Karen, you have to be scarred for life," West said with a straight face. Karen freaked out about Tenay suggesting she was fooling around with Styles, then Tenay offered a weak apology. Karen closed the unintentionally comedic segment by saying she'll be at Impact next week.
[Commercial Break]
Video package: They showed clips of tag champs LAX taking a whooping from Robert Roode and James Storm last week on the show.
[Q4]
In-ring: Jim Cornette randomly appeared on the show after an absence last week to bring in LAX for an interview. Homicide and Hernandez came to the ring with Hector and Salinas to discuss what happened. Cornette said LAX made a challenge for Victory Road in a fan's revenge lumberjack match. He said they'll pick 12 TNA fans to be ringside and they'll be given big, long leather straps to whip Storm and Roode with no liability assumed. Hector then cut a promo on Roode and Storm about whipping them. Cornette handed Hector the contract to sign, then Hector affixed his signature to the document. He said both sides need to sign the deal, so Cornette asked for Roode and Storm to show up.
Instead, only Jacqueline walked out to the ring. LAX wanted a piece of Jackie, but Cornette cut a long promo about men not touching women on this program. Cornette told Jackie to answer to where her men are right now. Jacqueline said she's not the babysitter, and all she knows is one is making money and the other is being a drunk. Salinas then stepped up to confront Jackie, who accused Salinas of having fake breasts. Salinas attempted a punch, but Cornette blocked her. More shenanigans ensued, then Cornette booked a singles match between the females later tonight.
Suddenly, Awesome Kong's music hit. Raisha Saeed led out Kong while Jeremy Borash joined them on the entrance ramp to talk about the weekly $25,000 fan challenge. Borash surveyed the crowd for any suitable contenders, then they cut to a break.
[Commercial Break]
Impact Zone: Kong walked over to some ladies ringside and shoved them hard in the upper chest to send a message. Taylor then signed the waiver from Borash and smacked Kong across the ear. Taylor hopped over the guardrail and tried to upset Kong by playing cat and mouse.
3 -- AWESOME KONG vs. TAYLOR -- $25,000 challenge
Bell sounded and Taylor tried to dance around Kong, who eventually smacked her across the chest with a chop. Another chop from Kong, then Kong asked for a steel chair from Raisha. Kong casually walked over to Taylor, who dropkicked the chair into Kong's face. Taylor then smacked Kong across the back with a chair before landing a dropkick. Taylor hopped up top and landed a missile dropkick that took Kong off her feet for a nearfall. Taylor then flew off the top onto Kong on the floor, but Kong caught her in mid-air and smashed her into the ringpost.
[Q5 -- second hour]
Kong smacked Taylor across the chest with another chop, then she went for the spinning back fist, but Taylor ducked and Kong smashed her fist into the ringpost. Kong quickly shook it off and smacked Taylor in the face before rolling her back into the ring. Kong had enough and went for the Awesomebomb, but Taylor slipped out. She tried a huracanrana, but Kong held Taylor's legs in mid-air and finished her off with an Awesomebomb for the win.
WINNER: Kong in 5:00. Good TV match for dramatic purposes, but too early in the program for Kong to look so vulnerable. That is, unless they're ending this program within the next few weeks to transfer Kong into something else. (*1/4)
Backstage: Team 3D was standing over the fallen body of Rhino, who was face-down across a broken table. Brother Ray gloated about taking out Rhino, who was scheduled to team with Christian Cage in the TV main event.
[Commercial Break]
Backstage: Borash brought in Sonjay Dutt, who was supposed to be at the Pink Taco to face Lethal. Dutt said he's about love and peace, not fighting. Borash accused Dutt of ducking Lethal, then Dutt said he can only speak the truth that he's in love with Val. Borash told Dutt to be a man and tell Lethal. Dutt said he'll confront him and let him that Val's also in love with him. Borash's jaw dropped, then Dutt walked away.
Video package: They focused on Kaz.
Impact Zone: Alex Koslov came out representing Team International. Tenay said Koslov is scheduled for a match, but without any bearing on the World X cup. Kaz came out as the opponent. Here's a match that could have used some pre-match hype considering the quality of the match-up.
4 -- KAZ vs. ALEX KOSLOV
Koslov threw out a red light for Kaz, who was running the ropes, and Koslov tried to start his classic "Russia, Russia" chant, but Kaz cut him off with a boot to the chest. Koslov came back with a springboard dive on the floor, then back in the ring, he busted out his Koslovisms. He put on the Russian cold-weather hat, then did his folded-arms Russian dance/kick-to-the-face combo. Kaz came back with a cradle for a nearfall, then Koslov slipped to the apron and put Kaz in a surfboard stretch between the ropes. Awesome. Koslov tried to finish off Kaz with a Russian legsweep, but Kaz blocked and nailed a DDT. Koslov tried to come back with a top rope splash, but Kaz moved and nailed the Wave of the Future for the pin and the win.
WINNER: Kaz in 6:00. Solid singles match featuring TNA's athleticism in a more memorable fashion than a quick three-minute spotfest. Koslov with a good showing in his first two weeks on U.S. national TV. Kaz with a much-needed win to show he can win in the ring and not just on the monkey bars, like Steiner said a few weeks ago. (**)
[Q6]
Backstage: Borash brought in Christian Cage to discuss Rhino being taken out by Team 3D earlier. Christian said he just talked to a doc, who said Rhino has a concussion and can't go tonight. Borash said Christian seems rather calm about the developments. Christian said where people like Borash see a problem, he sees a phenomenal opportunity.
[Commercial Break]
Rough Cut: We get personal with Matt Morgan, who said he had severe ADD growing up. He said it was really just him starving for attention. Morgan said he was an athlete in school and received letters from major universities, such as Indiana, to play basketball. He said he dreamed of being one of the few big white boys in the NBA. This was the best Morgan has ever looked speaking the English language on TNA TV. He was calm, concise, and spoke in a normal voice. Imagine that, speaking in a normal voice works better than ranting and raving.
Pink Taco: They showed Lethal waiting for Dutt to arrive. Dutt showed up and asked for 30 seconds to explain himself. He apologized for having bad timing, then asked to simply explain himself. Dutt asked Lethal if he's asked Val what's really in her heat. Dutt claimed that Val is in love with him. Lethal quickly slapped him across the face, then rammed him into a table. They brawled until Lethal choked him with a rope. Lethal climbed a prop ladder and dropped an elbow. A top rope elbow in a bar fight! Lethal tried to ram a cleaning cart into Dutt, but Dutt avoided that. They brawled off camera with Lethal chasing Dutt, who was trying to scramble away. This whole segment required a suspension of disbelief because the "Pink Taco" simply looked like a backstage area with some different lighting and props.
[Commercial Break]
[Q7]
Backstage: Team 3D joined Borash for an interview. Ray called Christian a waste of oxygen. He said they don't become 20-time world tag team champions by being stupid. Ray, in his over-dramatic delivery, said the "phenomenal opportunity" was a pretty dead giveaway that his partner is A.J. Styles. Ray told Christian to bring Styles with him because they want to spill more blood tonight. He said Devon likes hurting people, so they're going to try to break their necks just for Kurt Angle. He called Styles a homewrecker and a piece of crap human being. Devon said he could feel sorry for A.J., but he doesn't. He said they've been warning him to stay out of their business, but since he keeps trying to get involved, tonight there will be a massacre. Quite refreshing to hear Devon doing some talking.
In-ring: Jacqueline and Salinas came out alone to face each other, as Cornette requested.
5 -- JACQUELINE vs. SALINAS
Salinas jumped Jackie to start things off, then she tried a top rope splash, but Jackie moved and went on the attack. With Salinas positioned on the mat, Jackie slapped on a front facelock and bent Salinas's neck in awkward position. Salinas fought the reverse Dragon Sleeper before tapping out. Jackie kept it locked in an extra moment or two before taking off her belt and whipping Salinas to add insult to injury.
WINNER: Jacqueline in 3:00. Nothing wrong with this. Just a match as part of a larger storyline. (1/2*)
[Commercial Break]
Impact Zone: Christian Cage came to the ring first for the TV main event. A.J. Styles then came out as the tag partner. Seems so weird to see them together after Styles turned on Christian just a few months ago when grew tired of Christian bossing him around. Team 3D came out, then Christian and Styles stormed the ringside area to jump-start the fight.
[Q8]
6 -- CHRISTIAN CAGE & A.J. STYLES vs. TEAM 3D (BROTHER RAY & BROTHER DEVON)
The action eventually entered the ring where Team 3D took control on Christian. Styles then took the "what's up?" diving headbutt to the crotch from 3D, who went to the floor and retrieved a table. They took forever, so Christian landed a dropkick through the ropes that sent the table into the faces of 3D. Styles followed with a flip dive onto 3D before they cut to a break.
[Commercial Break]
They returned from break with Ray giving Styles a hangman's neckbreaker out of the corner. 3D then started their focused attack on Styles. Christian took the hot tag at 11:00, then Styles and Christian came off the top rope with a dual diving headbutt on Devon. After 3D cleared Christian from the ring, 3D nailed the Doomsday Device on Styles, but Styles kicked out at two. 3D wanted the 3D on Styles, but Styles nailed Devon with the Pele soccer kick. Devon was left alone in the ring where he took the back flip reverse DDT from Styles leading to the pin and the win.
WINNERS: Christian & Styles in 14:00. Good TV main event. No one will remember it by next week, as there's too much information from this show to recall seven days later, but it was good for its moment in time on Thursday, June 19, 2008. (**1/2)
Post-match: Frank Trigg stormed the ring and pointed at Styles. He talked trash to Styles, who had back-up from Christian. Styles told him to step up to the plate, but Kurt Angle stormed into the ring out of nowhere and jumped Styles. Angle, in a sharp suit, slapped on the anklelock while Brother Ray pointed and laughed at Styles. Tenay said Angle got the last word tonight. Angle leaned in close to Styles and closed the show with some trash talk.
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