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TV Reports
CALDWELL'S WWE RAW REPORT 7/7: Ongoing "virtual time" coverage of live USA Network broadcast
Jul 7, 2008 - 10:05:14 PM


By James Caldwell, PWTorch columnist

WWE Raw Live Report
July 7, 2008
New Orleans, La.


The show started with a video package on last week's Raw where C.M. Punk won and successfully defended the World Hvt. Title in one night.

WWE studios: Stephanie McMahon was at WWE HQ to deliver a message about Raw ending in chaos last week with Vince McMahon not present. She implored wrestlers, crew, and announcers to all work as one.

In-ring: After Michael Cole tried to introduce the show, we heard a loud "Excuse me! Excuse me!" from the one and only Vickie Guerrero. That t-shirt with the catchphrase has got to be coming soon. Typical big heat for this. Vickie, in a wheelchair in center ring, introduced herself. She said she's here to protest C.M. Punk as World Hvt. champion. She said she won't leave until Punk surrenders the title to her. Huge boos. She demanded an apology.

C.M. Punk's music hit and he came out on stage running around with the title belt around his waist. He entered the ring and flashed the belt right in Vickie's face to rub it in. His music stopped and the crowd kept chanting his name while Vickie tried to get a word in. Vickie said he took advantage of poor Edge to steal the World Title. She said Edge's world is falling apart right now and he even wants to call off the wedding. Punk said he probably did Vickie and Edge both a favor by taking advantage of the situation. He told Vickie to calm down about him ruining her life, as there are plenty more people who will fall in love with her. People like Great Khali.

Vickie then slowly pulled herself up from the wheelchair and slapped Punk across the face. She then slowly sat back down in the wheelchair. Punk smirked, then started to wheel Vickie out of the ring, but JBL's music interrupted. JBL came to the ring and said if it wasn't for interference last week, he would be standing in the ring as World champ. He then challenged Punk for another title shot tonight. Punk cut him off and said McMahon isn't here to agree with JBL, and JBL had his shot last week. JBL said he didn't lose anything and one man has a personal vendetta...

John Cena's music interrupted and Cena came out on stage to a huge pop. Cena stormed the ring with a major announcement. He said JBL is usually very pathetic, but tonight he is medically sick. Cena with a poopy joke, then he told JBL to just deal with the card that's dealt him. Punk and Cena then shook hands. Cena said technically, no one is in charge. He told JBL to stop crying and figure this out like a bunch of men. Cena said there's a PPV in two weeks and there are two of them to challenge Punk. He suggested Cena vs. JBL in a #1 contender match tonight with the winner facing Punk. Cena thought it was plenty fair.

[Q2]

Batista had other ideas, however, and Batista's music interrupted. Batista strutted out dressed for a night of club-bouncing, then he commented on Punk first. He said Punk went through hell to earn Money in the Ban k and he deserves that title. Batista then sarcastically greeted Vickie and said she made him miserable on Smackdown. He sincerely said he's heart-broken about her life being ruined, but he snapped out of his sincerity and told her to wheel on back to Smackdown.

Batista started to address him helping Punk last week, but JBL cut him off and said it doesn't matter what Batista thinks. Batista told him that if he cuts him off one more time, the only thing he'll be seeing is a fist in his face. Cena calmed them down, then booked a triple-threat match for the #1 contender. Cena asked Punk if that's all good, but JBL cut him off and said he's not OK with that. Cena said that's fine, it can be him vs. Batista tonight. JBL thought things over, then finally agreed to a triple threat match for tonight.

Oh, but wait, there's Kane. He took a mic and said he wants in too. Punk took the mic and told Cena that the triple threat goes out the window. He said it looks like a fatal-four-way for tonight. Punk told them good luck, then his music hit and he left the ring to let the four big men stare at each other. So, it's Cena vs. JBL vs. Batista vs. Kane. Tonight. Winner gets Punk at the Bash. Another long, long opening segment to start the show. About 23 minutes.

[Commercial Break]

In-ring: Rey Mysterio came to the ring for his Raw in-ring debut. Cole said Rey told him he has butterflies about the debut. Maybe not the best thing to shout to the world. Santino then came to the ring to face him.

[Q3]

1 -- REY MYSTERIO vs. SANTINO MARELLA

Rey set up for the 619 at 2:00, but Santino hopped to his feet and nailed a weak-looking clothesline. Rey came back with body kicks followed by a kick beneath the chin. He followed with the 619 before going up top for the flying sentaun for the easy pin and the win.

WINNER: Rey in 4:00. OK opening match, but they lacked chemistry. Not the best accentuation of Santino's heel character. (1/2*)

Later tonight: Shawn Michaels addressed Chris Jericho on the show.

[Commercial Break]

Backstage: Grisham interviewed C.M. Punk about the title situation, but suddenly a light structure fell down and nearly smashed Punk. Grisham and Punk waited for a stagehand to clean up the mess, then Snitsky provided the second interruption. Snitsky? He said he never received his ECW Title shot when he was on Raw, and he hates that Punk won a fluke. Who's next, Super Crazy asking for his title shot? Punk said he'll prove his won wasn't a fluke, so it's Punk vs. Snitsky tonight.

Elsewhere Backstage: Oh dear, Mickie and Cena talking it up again. Suddenly, Kelly Kelly interrupted and told Mickie it's time for their tag match. Cena then asked Kelly how she got out of her ECW contract to join Raw. Kelly, apparently channeling the Raw ghost of Maria, had a blonde moment asking about contracts. Mickie laughed and took her off-camera. Cena simply stared in disbelief before looking right into the camera to say God Bless America. He then ignored the same camera to stare after them again. That might have been the worst backstage segment of all-time.

[Commercial Break]

In-ring: Jillian was in the ring with Layla to sing us a tune. Fortunately, Kelly's music interrupted Jillian's traditional horrible song. Mickie James then came out as her tag partner.

[Q4]

2 -- Women's champion MICKIE JAMES & KELLY KELLY vs. JILLIAN HALL & LAYLA

This was the popcorn match on the show with the audience settling into their seats after the opening segment and opening segment. Kelly was on the offensive at 2:00 when Layla smacked Kelly off the apron to the floor. Jillian went for a handspring elbow in the corner, but Kelly blocked and rolled through into a victory roll for the pin and the win.

WINNERS: Kelly & Mickie in 4:00. Not one for the highlight reel. Cole got lost in the slow nature of the match as if he were watching a Chuck Palumbo match on Smackdown. (n/a)

Post-match: Suddenly, JBL's music hit and the white limo pulled up. The driver randomly took off running past the limo to the backstage area. Cole said the World "Tire" #1 contender match is up next. Sorry, can't post-produce that one.

[Commercial Break]

Stage area: JBL was shown walking around the limo trying to figure out what's going on. He was not dressed to compete, but still in his business suit. JBL kept checking the limo doors, which were all locked. John Cena then randomly emerged from the limo with a tire iron in hand. Ah, Cole's tire slip on the script. Cena started to cut a promo, but there were random video problems. That didn't seem to be part of the scripted production malfunctions. He then said he can find two guys who can fix his car problems. Cryme Tyme emerged from the other side of the limo and chased JBL onto stage. Cena said the state of Louisiana does not allow a limo to be driven if it does not have a passenger-side mirror. JTG then smashed the passenger-side mirror.

Cena said Louisiana definitely requires a ventilated windshield. Shad then smashed the windshield over and over to break the glass. Cena said the tint job is definitely illegal. He then asked them to fix the window issues. JTG and Shad took turns bashing the windows. Cena said they'll even provide a custom paint job. Cena and Cryme Tyme then pulled out paint cans and applied an intentionally horrible paint job, including the word "Poopy" on the hood. Maturity level is off the charts tonight. Cena said this certainly means the limo is up to code in the state of Louisiana. Big pop for the local reference. Cena told JBL good luck in the four-way. They replayed the "custom work done" to the limo.

[Q5 -- second hour]

Announcers: Cole and Lawler hyped the four-way match for later tonight. Cole said Raw has been a leaderless Raw with Punk in action up next. He talked up Punk's title victory on Raw last week, then they rolled footage of the highlights from Raw last week. And by footage I mean they spent three minutes recapping last week.

In-ring: C.M. Punk came to the ringside area for the match against Snitsky, but not before surveying the work done by Cena and Cryme Tyme on JBL's limo.

[Commercial Break]

3 -- World Hvt. champion C.M. PUNK vs. SNITSKY -- non-title match

Conspiracy theories abound with Punk's second title defense being scripted against the lumbering and athletically-challenged Snitsky to possibly give Punk a negative rub as new champion. Punk made short work of Snitsky, though, with an impressive Go 2 Sleep in three minutes. He made the cover for the win.

WINNER: Punk in 3:00. Again, Cole was lost during the slow portion of a match. Whereas Ross would have kept the chatter going and engaged Lawler during the live broadcast to keep viewers interested, Cole settled into comfortable dead air. Last week's crowd was red-hot to cover for dead air, but tonight is a bigger test for Cole with a quieter crowd. (1/2*)

Backstage: They showed Shawn Michaels walking in anticipation of confronting Jericho.

[Commercial Break]

[Q6]

Announcers: Cole and Lawler did a voice-over on footage of Bourbon Street. Not too many people on the streets tonight. ... A video package aired on the Michaels vs. Jericho program.

In-ring: Shawn Michaels sternly came to the ring showing off the shiner around his eye. He said he knows Chris Jericho is listening in the back. He said he has two words for him... I Accept. Michaels started to leave, but Chris Jericho's music interrupted. Jericho then walked out on stage with Lance Cade following close behind like a puppy dog. Jericho waited out the H-B-K chants, then said he knew Michaels would accept the challenge. He said he knew Michaels's pride and massive ego would supersede all of his concerns about his personal health. Jericho said he knows Michaels is really hurt right now, but he still accepted the match at the Bash to please the fans. He said if Michaels ends up in the hospital, are the fans going to show up, then pay for his mortgage and education for his kids? Jericho said they know that won't happen. He told Michaels to be a martyr, but soon Michaels will be swept under the carpet and forgotten.

Michaels smiled, then raised his mic and said it's evident what the problem is. He said he used to think Jericho just despised him, but he finally figured it out that Jericho wants what Michaels has. Michaels said that despite being blackballed and tossed aside, the fans still... Jericho cut him off and complained about the fans giving him a free pass. He said it's not fair. Michaels said it's simple: he's just H-B-K. Fans cheered. Michaels said Jericho is the epitome of success, held every major title, made a lot of money, and accomplished everything in the business, but still in spite of all that, Jericho isn't content. He said Jericho has no peace and in spite of all the accomplishments... Jericho will never be him. Money line. They went face-to-face. Fade to black. Thank goodness for this program to save the show again.

[Commercial Break]

[Q7]

4 -- IC champion KOFI KINGSTON vs. CHARLIE HAAS -- Intercontinental Title match

Cole put over Kofi's blog before the bell sounded. Random match-up here with Haas not exactly earning a title opportunity that I'm aware of. After Haas got in some offense, Kofi came back with the boom-boom leg drop and buzzsaw kick to mercifully end this one.

WINNER: Kofi in 3:00. Crowd is definitely not into the wrestling action tonight, and a random match featuring Charlie Haas didn't help matters. (1/2*)

Post-match: Paul Burchill suddenly hit the ring and gave Kofi a neckbreaker. He followed with a Curb stomp that drew a little blood from Kofi's eye. Oh goodie, a Kofi vs. Burchill feud.

Backstage: Batista was shown pumping himself up. Suddenly, a generic teenage white male with a goofy haircut from the '90s showed up on camera and did Batista's machine gun entrance in front of Batista. Security chased him away. Batista just smiled and laughed before returning to pump-up mode. Let's hope the pay-off to this "show-falling-apart-without-Vince" storyline is worth the messy feel to this show.

[Commercial Break. A local promo aired for the TNA PPV on Sunday in Houston. This was immediately followed by a promo for the NWA show on July 26 set for Dodge Arena in Houston.]

In-ring: Lillian Garcia announced the #1 contender fatal four-way match up next. Batista came out first to a strong reception. JBL's music hit and he came out through the regular entrance with his limo torn up. JBL surveyed the damage before turning to walk into the ring. Kane came to the ring next, followed by John Cena.

5 -- JOHN CENA vs. BATISTA vs. JBL vs. KANE -- #1 Contender match to World Hvt. Title.

A few seconds after the bell sounded, they cut to a commercial break.

[Q8]

[Commercial Break]

They returned from break with Kane working over Cena while Batista and JBL battled. Kane then broke up a pin by Batista and gave him a chokeslam. Cena tried to give Kane an FU, but JBL kicked Cena in the head. JBL and Kane then kicked each other in the head with a dual big boot, leaving all four men KO'ed on the mat. Cena suddenly powered up with FUs on everyone inside the ring, but Batista broke up a pin on JBL. One final break...

[Commercial Break]

They returned from break with Kane cutting off a Five Knuckle shuffle by Cena. Batista then powered up and dropped everyone in sight until he walked into a clothesline from JBL. Action continued in the ring until Cena took JBL to the floor where JBL whipped him hard into the ring steps. Kane posted Batista in the corner, while on the outside, JBL smashed Cena with the ring steps. Kane then went to the floor and knocked JBL over the guardrail to the front row. He quickly went into the ring, but missed with a top rope clothesline and immediately took a spear from Batista. Batista made the cover for the pin and the win.

WINNER: Batista in 13:00 to become #1 contender. Wild, chaotic match. Not smooth throughout, but a good showcase of the top stars that woke up the crowd. Punk vs. Batista has a fresh feel to it as an "off-brand" PPV main event match. (**)

Post-match: Batista celebrated on stage while Kane slapped the mat in frustration. He then over-turned the ring steps. Kane approached the announce table and shouted at Cole. Camera stayed with Kane, who kept screaming about whether someone is alive or dead. He then walked over to a stagehand and gave him a big boot. The timekeeper took a bodyslam on the floor. Kane tried to collect himself before walking over to the announce table one more time to ask if he's alive or dead.

[Q9 -- over-run]

Kane started to choke out Cole, which drew cheers. Kane rolled Cole into the ring and stepped on his ankle. Cole said he doesn't know what Kane is talking about. Kane demanded an answer, then tried to give Cole a chokeslam, but Jerry Lawler made the save with a chopblock. Lawler helped Cole escape before Kane slapped on a submission hold. He pounded away on Lawler before kicking him in the head. Kane left the ring, leaving Lawler out cold. Fans catcalled after Kane, who slowly left the ringside area. They cut to commercial break, apparently with the show still going on? Or maybe not. There was no trademark logo as they signed off, but the next USA Network show started.

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TORCH TALK FLASHBACK with Hulk Hogan: Hogan talks to PWTorch editor Wade Keller about Eric Bischoff, the demise of WCW
TORCH TALK FLASHBACK with Hulk Hogan: Hogan talks to PWTorch editor Wade Keller about his relationship with Ric Flair
TORCH TALK FLASHBACK with Hulk Hogan: Hogan talks to PWTorch editor Wade Keller about his relationship with Vince Russo
VIP Exclusive Features
5+ HOURS: Definitive all-new Eric Bischoff "Torch Talk" available exclusively to PWTorch VIP members
11/6 Bruce Mitchell Audio Show: Why Vince McMahon said WWE isn't a family business, Hulk Hogan-TNA analysis, Dixie Carter's last-gasp speech (65 min.)
PWTorch Newsletter #1115_16 (31 pages!): Hogan-Bischoff-TNA Deal Covered In-Depth - Keller, McNeill, and Powell, plus six pages of Eric Bischoff Torch Talk, and much more
Torch Trivia
TORCH TRIVIA 2/28: Which wrestler backed out of a WWA PPV in February 2002?
TORCH TRIVIA 2/27: Who said this quote about Hulk Hogan's athleticism 11 years ago?
TORCH TRIVIA 2/25: What said this quote about WWE's mid-1990s drug testing policy?
Torch Instant Polls
SMACKDOWN POLL: Who was the MVP of the 11/6 Smackdown if you saw the show?
TNA IMPACT POLL: Who was the MVP of the 11/5 Impact if you saw the show?
ECW POLL: Who was the MVP of the 11/3 ECW if you saw the show?
PWTorch Free Podcast
11/4 Nostalgia Audio with Brian Hoops: Format change to the show, new guest host, upcoming shows
FREE FOR ALL: 10/27 Bruce Mitchell Audio Special: Hogan-Bischoff-TNA story from all angles including Monday Night War II possibilities (32 min.)
6/23 Nostalgia Audio with Brian Hoops: Former WCW rapmaster PN News joins Brian Hoops to preview upcoming Midwest shows (10 min.)
Annual Obituaries
SPECIALIST: List of Deceased Wrestlers for 1999 - Muchnick, Rick Rude, Owen Hart, Renegade...
SPECIALIST: List of Deceased Wrestlers for 2000 - Solie, Albright, Duncum, Tsuruta, Blue Demon, Al Costello
SPECIALIST: List of Deceased Wrestlers for 2001: Johnny Valentine, Terry Gordy, Chris Adams, Bertha Faye, Helen Hart