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KELLER'S ECW ON SCI-FI REPORT
JULY 29, 2008
WHITE PLAINS, N.Y.
[Q1]
-After clips aired of last week's excellent main event where Matt Hardy earned a title shot at Mark Henry at Summerslam, the ECW opening aired. Tazz introduced the show. He said a shocking turn of events last night on Raw revealed Mike Adamle is the new G.M. of Raw. Tazz introduced his new broadcast partner, Todd Grisham. He noted that he was a "five year veteran of WWE," establishing up front that Grisham would, like, know the names of the wrestlers and stuff. Grisham said he was excited about the opportunity, and he seemed to mean it. He joked about whether he could call his partner Tazz or The Tazz.
-Matt Hardy came out to a full ring intro. Grisham said he was watching as a fan last week it was truly "one of the better matches he's seen in a while." In a business of hyperbole, that restrained praise was actually quite shocking. Matt said he's always been a big fan of ECW, and since he has been part of some of the most extreme matches in WWE history, it seemed like a great fit. He said one of the greatest opportunities of his career will be facing Henry for the ECW Title at Summerslam. He then said, "You know, for a lot of years, I've been working..." At that point Mark Henry's music interrupted. Henry walked out with Tony Atlas. They entered the ring. Atlas bragged up Henry's success since being drafted to ECW. Atlas noted that Hardy, by contrast, has lost the U.S. Title since arriving in ECW.
Atlas said Henry would bend a steel bar in front of him to prove his strength. "I guess we're about to see an expodish... exposition," said Tazz. Grisham said, "Exhibition." Tazz didn't skip a beat and said immediately, "That, too." Funny how quickly the roles get reversed. Tazz had grown used to pointing out syntax errors from his broadcast partner. Henry bent the bar. Henry said they're not having a bar bending contest, they're having a wrestling contest. He said bars and pans don't fight back, but he does. Hardy said Henry is strong enough to break every bone in his body, but he will never break his spirit. Then he predicted victory at Summerslam.
-Grisham plugged Miz & Morrison vs. Finlay & Hornswoggle as the TV main event later.
[Commercial Break]
[Q2]
1 -- CHAVO GUERRERO (w/Bam Neely) vs. RICKY ORTIZ
Tazz said Ortiz was getting ahead of himself with wanting to come up with nicknames and merchandising ideas. Grisham asked if his laid back West Coast "whatever happens, happens" attitude will work for him in WWE. Tazz said time will tell. Ortiz pressed and dropped Chavo at 2:00. Chavo grounded Ortiz for a few minutes. Ortiz came back with a dropkick. Chavo came right back with a drop toe hold. Neely held Chavo's leg on the second rope for added leverage. The ref called for a DQ.
WINNER: Ortiz in 5:00.
STAR RATING: 1/2* -- Basic stuff. Okay, but nothing special at all.
-After the match, Chavo and Neely double-teamed Ortiz. Chavo hit a big frog splash as Neely held his legs. Chavo stalled so long it just seemed ridiculous that Ortiz didn't just move out of the way as he had tons of time to recover enough to at least not just remain flat on his back like that. Evan Bourne ran out and made the save, getting in a few quick shots on Neely and Chavo. Grisham said "Bourne has been a thorn" in Chavo's side for a couple of weeks. He sounded a lot like Adamle there, trying to rhyme.
-Backstage Colin Delaney approached Henry and Atlas backstage. He asked Henry and Atlas why they abandoned him when he wrestled Tommy Dreamer last week. Atlas said they were giving him a chance to prove himself. Henry said they disappointed him and he'll have to really do something to impress them this week. Atlas suggested Delaney take on Hardy and soften him up a little. Delaney seemed a little nervous about the competition. Atlas said he and Henry would be in his corner this time. Delaney felt better about that.
-Grisham again plugged Miz & Morrison vs. Finlay & Hornswoggle up next.
[Commercial Break]
-Did You Know? Last week's ECW show was the most watched show on Sci-Fi that night.
[Q3]
2 -- THE MIZ & JOHN MORRISON vs. HORNSWOGGLE & FINLAY
Grisham said Miz and Morrison handed him a list of nicknames they prefer to be referred to as. Morrison: "Tuesday of Night Delight," "Salmon of Sexy" (Tazz corrected him and said it's "Shaman of Sexy"), and "The Guru of Greatness." Miz: "Monk of Mojo" and "Grand Mizard of Lust" (I prefer "Grand Lizard of Must" personally). Grisham said he thinks Hornswoggle bedazzled his bright orange vest. Tazz pointed out there's nothing wrong with bright orange. Grisham confirmed Hardy vs. Delaney was scheduled for the TV main event. At 2:00 Finlay used Hornswoggle as a battering ram. They did dual butt splashes on the heels before cutting to a break.
[Commercial Break]
Tazz said it's almost like a handicapped match. Grisham said, "Not really." Tazz said, "Yes, really." Grisham then said Hornswoggle could probably beat him up, but he admits that's not really saying much. Finlay isolated Morrison for several minutes. Hornswoggle tagged himself in, letting his enthusiasm get the best of him. Morrison caught him and slammed him hard to the mat for the win. Finlay hung his head in frustrating, having worked so hard for so long only to have Hornswoggle ill-advisedly tag himself in.
WINNERS: Miz & Morrison in 12:00.
STAR RATING: *1/2 - Decent match.
[Q4]
-After the match, Mike Knox came through the ring and entered the crowd and gave Finlay two big boots. Then he left the ring before doing anything to Hornswoggle. See, he has a heart.
[Commercial Break]
-They replayed the finish of the previous tag match and Knox's post-match attack. You know, for those forgot what happened already. Lena caught up with Knox backstage and asked how he can explain his actions. He said Finlay has gone from a man who loves to fight to a man who loves to fight with leprechauns. He said that makes him soft, and that makes him a target. "And I just took my shot," he said. Good basic promo from the usually silent Knox.
-Tazz said Finlay has never been referred to as soft before. Grisham said Knox has just picked his battle. Then they threw to a video feature on Jenny McCarthy's appearance at SNME on Saturday.
-The former Chris Harris walked up to Hardy backstage and wished him luck. He said he's heard Delaney is a real killer. He said he's got his back tonight and called him "brother," but he said it suspiciously. Hardy asked him what his name was again. He said "Brandon Walker" and then shook Hardy's hand. It's getting pretty late in the show. What if Hardy vs. Delaney goes to a 60 minute draw?
[Commercial Break]
[Q5]
3 -- MATT HARDY vs. COLIN DELANEY
Atlas and Henry walked out onto the stage with Delaney, who felt more secure. Then as he walked to the ring, they just stood there. Grisham said Colin seemed okay with it. Tazz: "I love to see Colin get more or less annihilated. I just do." Hardy methodically dominated the match while keeping an eye on Henry and Atlas on the stage. At 4:00 Tazz told him to put the kid out of his misery. He did with a Twist of Fate.
WINNER: Hardy in 4:00.
-Afterward, Henry and Atlas walked to the ring. Hardy put his fists up and waited for them. Henry bent over and tossed Delaney out of the ring. Grisham said Delaney may have broken his arm on his landing. Henry then stared down Hardy. He told Hardy if he thinks he can take the belt, come take it. Hardy said he knows he can. "I believe, you know I believe," said Hardy. Henry and Atlas walked out of the ring. It was a bit of a "that's it?" feeling as the show ended on a low-emotion note, but by doing that now and then, it make the crazy finishes stand out as special and less routine. Send feedback on this article to pwtorch@gmail.com and we'll regularly publish reader feedback in the "Torch Feedback" category on the Main Listing.
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