KELLER'S WWE SMACKDOWN REPORT
AUGUST 16, 2008
TAPED TUESDAY IN NORFOLK, VA.
[Q1]
-A four minute video package on the Edge-Vickie saga last week opened the show. Jim Ross introduced the show as the camera panned the crowd.
1 -- SHELTON BENJAMIN vs. JEFF HARDY -- U.S. Title match
Ross talked about the history of the U.S. Title in the Norfolk arena dating back to Bob Brazil beating Blackjack Mulligan for the title in 1977. Nice detail. They exchanged some early rapid-fire leverage near falls. When Hardy teased a Twist of Fate, Shelton slipped out of the ring. Ross said he gets confused between Twist of Fate and Whisper in the Wind occasionally. Tazz said he'd help him keep things straight. Ross said he gets a little too excited and needs to drink more decaf. Ross touted Shelton's athletic prowess, citing various stats about his speed. Shelton held Hardy down for a couple minutes. Hardy slipped out of Shelton's running powerslam and hit a reverse sidekick followed by a swing kick into the corner. Shelton stopped the count with his foot draped over the bottom rope. They cut to a break at 5:00.
[Commercial Break]
[Q2]
Hardy had Shelton down with a head scissors after the break. Shelton caught Hardy a minute later and threw him into the top turnbuckle in the corner, then scored a two count. Shelton went on sustained extended offense until Hardy caught Shelton with a jaw jacker out of nowhere at 13:00. The ref counted them both down for nearly a ten count. Hardy hit a Whisper in the Wind for a two count. He followed with a Twist of Fate attempt, but Shelton turned it into a snap backbreaker for a near fall. "We have been in the bottom of the ninth for a long, long time now as far as Shelton Benjamin is concerned," said Ross. Shelton went for a sunset flip over the top rope when Hardy stood on the ring apron. Hardy held on and then released to turn momentum into a head scissors takeover to the floor. Back in the ring Hardy gave Shelton an uppercut and climbed to the top rope setting up his Swanton Bomb. MVP, though, came to ringside and shoved Hardy to the mat. The ref called for the bell. MVP went for a running boot on Hardy, but Hardy ducked and MVP kicked Shelton. Hardy hit a Twist of Fate and a quick Swanton on MVP in the ring. He then gave Shelton a Swanton for a good measure.
WINNER: Hardy in 16:00.
STAR RATING: ***1/2 -- Really good TV match.
-They went backstage to Vickie Guerrero looking stressed out and frightened. Victoria walked in and comforted her. She looked around and asked if Victoria had seen either Edge or Undertaker. Victoria said she hadn't, but she'd go look. Vickie told her no, stay with her. She sensed they were both there.
-Ross hyped that Triple H would be in action on this show. No opponent was hyped.
[Commercial Break]
[Q3]
-Ross and Tazz hyped Vladimir Kozlov vs. Festus later in the show.
2 -- MICHELLE MCCOOL & MARIA vs. MARYSE & NATALYA
Ross said the four women are all athletic and all "taller than Bob Costas." Tazz added, "I hate short people, by the way." Michelle scored a one count at 2:00 with a neckbreaker. When Maryse interfered, McCool jumped to ringside to knock her around a bit. Maryse interfered again and the distraction led to Natalya scoring a leverage pin out of nowhere.
WINNERS: Natalya & Maryse in 2:00. Quick pace, almost too frenetic, but it makes sense given how little time they were given.
-Ross again plugged Triple H would be wrestling later.
[Commercial Break]
3 -- THEE BRIAN KENDRICK (w/Ezekiel) vs. SCOTTY GOLDMAN
Ross on Kendrick: "He's hotter than a no. 4 New York Jets jersey." Kendrick said before the match he does what he says he's going to do every week. He said just by being around him, he opens up opportunities for others. He asked if there's anyone who brings more to the table than he does on the entire roster. He asked Zeke. Zeke said, "Not one. Not a single one." Kendrick said he doesn't care about any of the fans, and that's why he wins, because he wrestles for himself. "You're looking at the future right here in Thee Brian Kendrick." As Goldman walked to the ring, an inset interviewed. He acted a little crazy, saying he's trapped in a box and then pointed to the side and said that's him, then he said, "Weird!" Yeah, that's the word for it. Goldman is ROH veteran Colt Cabana, who I've always thought was going to be a good fit with WWE, but in a non-traditional spot. Kendrick hit some early dropkicks. He settled into an early camel clutch. Goldman caught a charging Kendrick with a boot. That seems to be the transition move of the month. Kendrick, though, quickly finished him off with a Sliced Bread #2. Ezekiel shoulder blocked him afterward.
WINNER: Kendrick in 3:00.
-Eve interviewed Triple H backstage regarding his match tonight and his title defense against The Great Khali at SummerSlam. They went to a clip of last week's Hunter-Khali angle. Eve asked if Triple H was in any condition to compete on Sunday. He said he'll be making a statement on Sunday. Kenny Dykstra interrupted and said he has to worry about him tonight. He said it's an opportunity of a lifetime and he plans to take full advantage of it. He said sarcastically admires his spirit, he picked the wrong day and the wrong guy. Dykstra nodded and walked away. Nice to see a little time given to set up what would typically have been just a throwaway TV squash with no build-up.
[Commercial Break]
-They showed Ross and Tazz at ringside. Ross said other than the Olympics, Smackdown was the no. 1 show among all networks last Friday night. It makes The CW's decision to dump Smackdown all the more controversial. They have their argument, though, regarding wanting a more demographically consistent identity to their programming to sell to advertisers.
-The Great Khali and Runjin Singh walked to the ring. Ross said Khali has fingers like railroad spikes. Khali grabbed the mic before the match. As he talked, the crowd yelled, "What?" between every sentence. Singh translated. He said Khali doesn't care about Triple H's past accomplishments. He said no one is greater than the the Great Khali. He said his single focus is winning the WWE Championship. He said Triple H is an obstacle Khali can easily step over. He told him he has accomplished all he can, so get out while he still has his pride and health. He said if he doesn't step aside, Khali will take all of those away from him. Triple H's music then played. Tazz exclaimed, "Whoa ho ho!"
[Q5]
-Khali hung out at ringside during Triple H's full ring intro. Singh joined Tazz and Ross at ringside.
4 -- TRIPLE H vs. KENNY DYKSTRA
Dykstra went on an early flurry of offense, but Triple H fired back quickly with a spinebuster. Then he flexed toward Khali, then finished Dykstra with the Pedigree. Ross said, "Triple H hates losing more than he loves winning."
WINNER: Triple H in 1:00.
-Afterward, Singh taunted Triple H with mic work, so Hunter threw him into the ring and threatened to hit him. Khali stood at ringside for a few seconds, then entered the ring. Tazz exclaimed, "Huh-oh, huh!" Triple H and Khali got into a slugfest. Triple H won that battle and set up a Pedigree. Tazz said it's impossible to apply it to him. Triple H did clothesline Khali over the top rope, but even that was a struggle.
-Ross plugged that Big Show, "the biggest athlete in the world," was up next. He's billed at 441 pounds. I want that updated weekly, as he seems to gaining a dozen pounds a week lately.
[Commercial Break]
[Q6]
5 -- THE BIG SHOW vs. RYAN BRADDOCK
Show dominated and KO'd Braddock with a straight fist to the side of Braddock's head. Braddock was still down a minute or so after the pin with two refs checking on him.
WINNER: Big Show in 1:00.
-MVP cut a backstage promo talking about what a bad year Jeff Hardy has had. He said if he felt bad when his house burned down, his dog died, and he missed WrestleMania, he's going to take away all the pain by knocking him out on Sunday.
[Commercial Break]
-Backstage, Vickie said after everything that happened, there was a part of her that still loved Edge a little bit, but after last week, that's all gone. She asked Victoria to help her get to her limo and get out of there. She began getting hysterical speculating about how Edge and Undertaker could both be there.
-They showed the water fountains outside of the Norfolk arena.
-Another vignette aired on R. Truth. He talked about having nothing but time to think and reevaluate his goals. He said you have dream a future before you can build a future, "otherwise life is just living you." He said today he's strong, and tomorrow he'll be stronger. "And that's the truth," he closed.
-They showed a hysterical Vickie being wheeled to her limo by Victoria, then being helped to the door. Edge's head popped out of the window. She screamed. Victoria fled. Edge bent over and told her if she thought he was going to have fun at SummerSlam, they're going to have fun tonight. He helped her back into her chair. He put her in her chair and spun her around a few times as she screamed. Edge acted really crazy as he did this, even once kicking his heels together.
[Commercial Break]
[Q7]
6 -- FESTUS (w/Jesse) vs. VLADIMIR KOZLOV
When the bell rang, Festus did his thing and kicked Kozlov in the gut and threw a barrage of punches in the corner. Kozlov no-sold them for the most part until Festus nailed an uppercut. Kozlov slid under the ropes to ringside. As Festus followed, Kozlov caught him with a punch. Back in the ring, Kozlov began to smother and pound Festus on the mat, then he went into a standing bearhug. Festus clubbed Kozlov's back, but Kozlov then just tossed him over to the mat and went to a rear bearhug. Ross said he'll go out on a limb and speculate Festus hasn't had any formal Sambo or Greco-Roman wrestling training. Festus came back with a fallawa suplex and a hard clothesline followed by a mount and a series of punches. Then he dove on him and scored a mere one count at 4:00. Kozlov caught a charging Festus with a boot. (Everyone is really doing that transition too often these days.) Festus caught Kozlov with a boot and a flying elbow into the corner. When he dove at him mid-ring, Kozlov just stuck out his head and battered Kozlov to the mat for the win out of nowhere.
WINNER: Kozlov in 5:00.
STAR RATING: *1/4 -- Solid match where neither guy lost much. Sure, Festus lost a little of his mystique in losing, but this was a battle of two undefeated, untested singles wrestlers and Kozlov is on a faster track to a potential serious singles push than Festus, so it was the right finish.
[Commercial Break]
-A long Raw Rebound aired, then Ross and Tazz previewed the entire SummerSlam line-up.
-Edge continued to roll Vickie around backstage as Vickie screamed hysterically. Edge continued to act like a lunatic. He told her the ride isn't over, he's wheeling her to the ring.
[Q8]
[Commercial Break]
-Edge dumped Vickie out of her wheelchair at ringside. He plopped down on the floor next to her. Ten minutes left in the show at this point. He said they're going through quite a rough patch. He said he wants people to see the good times. He said he knows she's a good cuddler, so he hugged her and said it's time for a trip down memory lane. A four minute video package aired on their saga. Edge asked her if she remembers what she did to the Undertaker. He said he wants her to apologize to the Undertaker. He yelled maniacally that he wants her to express that she's truly sorry for what she did to him. She muttered, "Sorry." He asked her, "What? What?" She screamed, "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" He said she caused all of the pain and suffering. She was lying on her back in fright as he leaned over her and said if she wanted him to burn in hell, mission accomplished because it feels like his brain is burning from the inside out. He promised her the Undertaker would burn in hell with her. Edge then addressed Undertaker, wherever he was, saying they are ready for him. "I promise to show you the purest form of hell you've ever been in." He then sat up and told Vickie that they said other vows besides "for better or worse." He said it could apply to Hell in a Cell. He said, "Edge versus Undertaker, 'til death do us part." The performances, within the context of WWE's universe, were intense and believable, but the entirety of the segment was just too long and probably a bit intense for younger viewers.
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