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By James Caldwell, PWTorch columnist

ECW on Sci-Fi TV Report
September 2, 2008 - Year 3, Week 13 (Week 117 overall)
Taped in Pittsburgh, Pa.
Report by James Caldwell, Torch columnist

The show started with In Memory of Killer Kowalski. After the regular WWE intro instead of a McDonald's commercial, The Fink channeled the late Don LaFontaine for the "in a world where..." intro for John Morrison and The Miz's Dirt Sheet. The Miz claimed he would become ECW champion on Sunday. He said Morrison didn't qualify for the Scramble, which prompted Morrison to retort that his non-qualifying is totally bogus. Dude. Miz then introduced Mark Henry. No talking mouths, as the real Henry walked out with Tony Atlas. Atlas wanted to make sure Henry would not be made sport tonight. Miz assured them that no one would be making fun of his belt-extender.

Miz then brought out Chavo Guerrero, who came out to Miz and Morrison's own rendition of Chavo's theme music. It included fart noises. Hahaha. Morrison explained that it was a SNAFU in the truck, so someone will be punished. Chavo got serious with Bam Neely by his side and said he's taking back his ECW Title that Kane stole at WrestleMania. Miz asked why he's still crying about that from like six months ago.

Miz and Morrison set up Finlay, who was unfortunately unable to make it due to not finding a babysitter for Hornswoggle. Cue up the video of Miz and Morrison pretending to be Finlay's brothers. The heels had a good laugh at the video of Finlay being mocked at a bar. Is that referee Tim White's suicide bar? The joke got old real quick, then the real Finlay came out with Hornswoggle.

Finlay smiled at the heels, then he took the mic and asked what everyone is laughing at it. Hornswoggle then said hello to his "uncles" by kicking Miz in the balls. Morrison was going to bring in that Hardy boy guy in a mocking way, but Finlay reminded Morrison that Matt Hardy beat him in the Scrambler qualifier last week. Matt Hardy then came to the ring to a rather strong ovation and gloated about beating Morrison. He said Atlas is the Hall of Famer and Bam is the "bodyguard guy" and they have no reason to be out here other than lending male support.

Hardy with some gay jokes, then Henry told him to shut his mouth unless Hardy wants a preview of what's happening at Unforgiven. Henry said he would clear the whole ring right now if he needs to. He told Henry that he hopes Atlas gets a good night of sleep the night before because he's going to be very busy breaking up pinfalls. Hardy and Henry went face-to-face, but Miz stepped in between to prevent a brawl. Well, a brawl broke out anyways, then Dreamer and Bourne stormed the ring to provide back-up for Hardy and Finlay. Grisham freaked out as they cut to commercial.

[Commercial Break]

Backstage: Teddy Long separated the heels and babyfaces. He said there are obviously some problems, so there's going to be an eight-man tag match tonight. Poor Bam Neely. He so desperately wanted to be in there, but Teddy picked Miz, Morrison, Chavo, and Henry to face Finlay, Hardy, Dreamer, and Bourne in the main event.

In-ring: Super Crazy came to the ring for a match. That Gavin Spears guy then walked out sideways to the ring. He's still full of confidence despite losing in his first ECW match. In an inset promo, Spears said he is the crown jewel of Teddy Long's new star initiative. Um, yeah.

1 -- SUPER CRAZY vs. GAVIN SPEARS

They took it slow allowing plenty of time for Striker to enhance the match. Crazy escaped Gavin's heel mat work and landed a flying kick to the face that wobbled Spears. Crazy mounted his attack, then came off the middle rope with a springboard moonsault for the pin and the win.

WINNER: Crazy in 4:00 over the disillusioned crown jewel. Just fine for Crazy. Apparently Gavin's gimmick is that he sucks, but he thinks he's hot stuff. (1/2*)

[Commercial Break]

In-ring: Ricky Bobby Ortiz came to the ring waving his rally towel in the home of the terrible towel. Brian Braddock was ready in the ring to take a beating.

2 -- RICKY ORTIZ vs. BRIAN BRADDOCK

Grisham self-deprecated early on here, saying Braddock brushed him aside earlier in the day when Grisham was looking for info for the broadcast. Striker said he got a word with Braddock, who said he's looking to impress any GM in WWE. The deal slowed down into bowling-shoe ugly, which is how Braddock likes it. A few fans started waving the rally towels to inspire Ricky's comeback and he snapped off a swinging powerslam for a nearfall. Ortiz then asked for the towels and he landed the Big O splash off the ropes for the pin and the win.

WINNER: Ortiz in 5:00 long minutes. Ortiz is a perfect 5-0 now. Not exactly impressive, though. Still learning in the ring and trying to get the towel gimmick going. (3/4*)

Raw Rebound: They focused on the Michaels vs. Jericho feud. Grisham said Michaels suffered a severe triceps injury, but he vows to be at Unforgiven to face Jericho.

[Commercial Break]

Republican National Convention update: Josh Matthews, Mr. Kennedy, and Mickie James provided an update from St. Paul. Kennedy said he's the first Kennedy on the floor this week. Nice. Mickie talked about smacking down your vote. Back ringside, Grisham and Striker encouraged us to vote. Striker said vote Republican.

Ring intros: Matt Hardy led out the babyface team for the eight-man tag main event. And commercial time.

[Commercial Break]

Ring intros: Finlay, Hornswoggle, and Tommy Dreamer were in the ring back from break, then Evan Bourne picked up a full ring intro to round out the babyface team. Chavo Guerrero and Bam, then Miz, then Morrison, then Henry with Atlas rounded out the heel foursome.

3 -- ECW champion MARK HENRY (w/Tony Atlas) & THE MIZ & JOHN MORRISON & CHAVO GUERRERO (w/Bam Neely) vs. MATT HARDY & EVAN BOURNE & TOMMY DREAMER & FINLAY (w/Hornswoggle)

Action broke down on the outside with Bam getting his from Finlay and Hornswoggle. Apparently that's all Bam is good for these days. They cut to break.

[Commercial Break]

Bourne showed off out of the break, but Henry took a tag and decided to make dinner out of Bourne. The heels then took turns working over Bourne in their corner. Bourne took a nice, long beating before finally landing a head scissors on Chavo to make the tag to Dreamer, who cleaned house. After Henry smashed Dreamer to build another round of heel isolation, Hardy took a hot tag to work on Chavo, who countered with a Northern's Light Suplex to set up Henry for work on Hardy.

Henry missed with a big splash, though, and Bourne came off the top rope with a sick Shooting Star Press on Henry. And I mean sick. He then smashed Miz with the Shining Wizard. Dreamer then tagged in and splashed Henry from the top rope. Goodness, it's broken down. Finlay with a running rear-end splash on Henry's chest, then Hardy got the final hot tag, knocked Atlas off the ring apron, and gave Henry the Twist of Fate. Hardy covered Henry for the win as the crowd went crazy. The babyfaces got their shine in the ring as they replayed Bourne's SSP, then Henry was showing trying to recover with Atlas to close the show.

WINNERS: Team Hardy in 14:00. Excellent conclusion to get the viewers excited for Unforgiven on Sunday. Bourne's Shooting Star Press was just sick and the easy highlight of the night. Nice match. (**)

We welcome your 1-10 score and comments on this show for an "ECW Reax" feature in the Torch Feedback section of PWTorch.com. To contribute your thoughts on ECW TV, click here.

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