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PARKS' WWE RAW REPORT 9/15: Ongoing "virtual time" coverage of Jericho vs. Punk in cage, Kane vs. Mysterio
Sep 15, 2008 - 10:10:42 PM |
By Greg Parks, PWTorch Contributor
WWE Raw review
September 15, 2008
Live from Memphis, Tenn.
Aired on USA
Report by Greg Parks, Torch Team Contributor
-I’ll be filling in for James Caldwell tonight for Raw and tomorrow night for ECW, as he’s been displaced due to Hurricane Ike. Here’s hoping all is well with him and his family, and that he’ll be back here soon.
-WWE Open (for what it’s worth, this is episode number 799 of Raw).
-Michael Cole introduced the program, without the usual pomp and circumstance. He announced that this would be the first time Raw would open with a cage match, all this while the cage was lowering.
1- CM PUNK vs. CHRIS JERICHO- STEEL CAGE MATCH FOR THE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP
During Punk’s entrance, they replayed the attack at Unforgiven that put him out for the Scramble match. Jericho had his right arm bandaged from his elbow to his wrist. They also showed Jericho winning the belt at Unforgiven during the Scramble. With this match leading off the show, something tells me one of them will be involved in the main event.
The two went face-to-face and forehead-to-forehead jawing at each other once the bell rang. Punk, in black and white trunks, took it to Jericho early on. Punk whipped Jericho into the turnbuckle, and he quickly climbed the ropes and tried to climb out of the cage. Punk met him on the top rope to stop him. Kick to the head by Punk sent Jericho to the mat. Y2J made it back up to prevent Punk from escaping, however. In a nice spot, Punk was getting ready to whip Jericho off the ropes, but he lost his grip on Jericho. Instead of just going along with it anyway, Jericho collapsed against the rope until Punk could regain his grip. Punk put Jericho on his shoulders and threw him into the steel cage.
[Commercial Break]
Back live, Jericho had Punk in an ankle-lock. Enziguiri by Punk got him out of it. Y2J caught Punk coming off the ropes and put him in the Walls of Jericho. It seemed Punk was crawling to reach the ropes for a break, but Punk was going for the door. He got his hands on the floor and one foot out the door, but Jericho slammed the door on CM’s head to bring him back in. Punk got his knees up on a Lionsault attempt (I’m surprised they haven’t given that move a WWE-ized name by now), but missed a running knee attempt. Jericho climbed the cage and got to the top, but Punk reached him. Punk, standing on the top rope, put Jericho on his shoulders for the GTS. Jericho fought out though and punched Punk, sending both men flying to the mat. Jericho threw Punk face-first into the cage after kicking out of a pin attempt. Jericho climbed and reached the top of the cage yet again, but Punk got him and, standing on the middle rope, gave Y2J an electric chair. Punk crawled toward the door, but Jericho crawled over Punk to get to the door. They reversed and both men were right at the doorway. Punk tried to slam Jericho’s head off the cage, but Jericho stopped him headbutted Punk. Punk fell to the mat and Jericho fell backward out the door to win the match.
WINNER: Jericho, at 15:05. Slower match than some may have thought, but it was still a solid, entertaining bout.
Batista was shown watching Jericho’s exit on a TV backstage.
-Still to come tonight, Rey Mysterio faces Batista.
[Commercial Break]
-Shawn Michaels did a voice-over, asking fans to donate to the Red Cross to aid Hurricane Ike victims by going to WWE.com.
-Mike Adamle was backstage talking to Kelly Kelly.....well.....they were just standing there for a few seconds after the camera started rolling for an awkward pause, then Adamle started talking. A tanned blond guy came and introduced himself to Kelly Kelly and Adamle (Dolph something, I think?), then walked away. Adamle saw Jericho walking his way and wanted to talk about No Mercy. Jericho was in no hurry to do that, and asked to go to Adamle’s office so they could talk things over.
-Kane was backstage, with the camera on the back of his head. He turned around and had a hybrid of his old mask on. He said he was forced to remove his mask and he did so for acceptance, but didn’t get any. He said all of us fans hide behind masks, masks of happiness and such, but all we really care about is ourselves. By attacking Rey, he was attacking every one of us.
Evan Bourne interrupted Kane’s promo (and the music stopped too). Bourne said Rey IS courageous, and he can’t wait to watch Rey beat Kane tonight. Kane laughed maniacally. I’m guessing Kane’s outburst at the fans was a way to get him some more heat, since most people stopped caring about this angle quite a while ago.
-Jillian Hall came out onto the stage singing Elvis’ “Hound Dog.” Jillian faces Candice Michelle next.
[Commercial Break]
-Jillian was still singing in the ring out of break. Hopefully, she wasn’t really singing throughout the break. I noticed it seemed to be a shorter commercial break though.
2- JILLIAN HALL vs. CANDICE MICHELLE
During Candice’s entrance, Beth Phoenix came out a good distance behind her. She eventually caught up to Candice and walked right past her to sit at ringside.
Headlock take-over by Candice, into a head-scissors by Jillian. Springboard kick to the face by Candice. Boy, the directors do a nice job of changing angles at the right moment. Samoan drop by Jillian for a near-fall. Hair-toss by Hall, then a full-nelson. Candice sat down and got a kick to the head. Crowd really died during Candice’s comeback. Dropkick to the chest by Candice. She did some screaming to finally get some fans behind her. Candice tried an Unprettier, but Jillian turned it into a belly-to-back suplex. She blocked Jillian’s handspring elbow and hit the Unprettier, or, the Candy Wrapper, for the win.
WINNER: Candice, at 3:59. Basic match, they didn’t try to do too much. The lack of crowd heat had to be alarming for Candice supporters within WWE. Mickie James is a better wrestler and also gets better reactions, so why do they keep pushing Candice?
Candice challenged Beth to get in the ring to meet her. She got onto the apron and Candice kicked her off and to ringside. They jawed at each from a distance as Beth headed up the ramp.
-Rey Mysterio and Kane tangle in the ring tonight.
[Commercial Break]
3- JOHN BRADSHAW LAYFIELD vs. TOMMY DREAMER
Apparently, Raw and ECW now have a talent-exchange agreement, according to Cole. I don’t remember that announcement, but they have kind-of hinted at it.
JBL put the boots to Dreamer right out of the gate, and I mean that literally. Dreamer made a short comeback with a neckbreaker, but missed a corner charge and walked into a Clothesline from Hell to pick up the victory.
WINNER: JBL, at 1:21.
JBL grabbed a chair from ringside and tried to use it on Dreamer. Referee (and now bald!) Marty Elias stopped him though, and JBL set the chair up in the ring. He got a mic from ringside and sat in the chair. JBL said he wouldn’t leave the ring until Mike Adamle made him number one contender. This reminds me of Randy Savage staging a sit-in during Nitro for like 20 minutes, and wrestlers trying to have a match around him. Adamle hadn’t come out yet when they went to break.
[Commercial Break]
-JBL, still in the ring sitting in a chair, implored Adamle not to listen to the people, apparently, because they aren’t as rich as him. I don’t think that really makes much sense, but OK. As JBL continued to ramble, Randy Orton stepped out from the back and walked to the ring.
Orton got a mic and said two weeks ago, he gave his opinion of the champions in WWE, and that’s why he made sure Punk didn’t keep his at Unforgiven. He then said JBL isn’t much of an improvement. Orton said once he’s healthy and regains the title, WWE will finally have a credible champion. That brought out Santino Marella and Beth Phoenix, both champions in their own right.
Santino asked Orton (and he got the name right) who he thinks he is. He said unlike Orton, they are champions. Santino said Randy was always “injuring,” just like his daddy. Santino, with a black eye, said his daddy, or “papa,” was always healthy, aside from a bout with herpes. Santino demanded an apology. Orton threatened to take Santino out now, but JBL told him to apologize. Not to the other two, but to him. JBL said it was his time and he wouldn’t be leaving until he gets his #1 contendership. Batista then came out.
Batista said what he saw in the ring was the most pathetic sight he’s ever seen, and compared them to politicians. Batista quoted Obama, much to the boos of the fans. He said you could put lipstick on a pig, then looked at Beth and said, it’s still a pig. Santino said she may squeal sometimes, but that doesn’t make her a pig. Batista proposed a match with JBL tonight, with the winner facing Chris Jericho at No Mercy. He then said when Orton got healthy, he’d beat his ass too. Marella said Batista was forgetting about someone. Batista apologized and said when he’s champion, Beth would get a shot at his title and kick her ass too. JBL tried to interrupt, but Batista shut him up.
Mike Adamle appeared on the Titan-Tron before things could come to blows. He said there was no reason for violence, but he has made a decision on the #1 contender, with input from Chris Jericho as well. He said he’d announce it officially after the Rey vs. Kane match. Batista said he’d plead his case now, then attacked JBL. JBL got a shot in, so Santino tried to capitalize and got a spinebuster for his trouble. Beth then got in Batista’s face and slapped him. She did it again, and he shouted “Ow!” at her. He picked her up and gave her a spinebuster right on Marella’s head. Wow....a lot to digest in that segment. Good to see Beth and Santino get some main-event rub. Batista did a good job on the mic, but JBL and Orton were just kind of there.
-Randy Orton was walking backstage, just inside the curtain. He passed Ted Dibiase, Manu and Cody Rhodes, who stopped to stare at him, and without saying anything, walked on.
[Commercial Break]
4- MANU & CODY RHODES & TED DIBIASE vs. KOFI KINGSTON & JERRY LAWLER & GOOD OL’ JH, JIM HAAS
Haas came out with a cowboy hat, glasses and Oklahoma Sooners jersey on (with a fake gut). Haas did some mic work, using JR-isms and plugging the barbecue sauce. I think I’ve become desensitized to WWE making fun of JR.
Manu started with Kingston, and used some power off the bat. Kingston kicked Manu into his own corner, so he tagged Cody. Lawler tagged in and hit some right hands, a back body-drop and a dropkick on Cody. Rhodes came back with a bulldog for two. Haas went to the announce desk to do some quick announcing, then got back on the apron. Haas tagged in and hit some lefts and rights, then a dropkick. Thesz Press and a big splash for two. Cole was doing the fake laugh and reciting lines that were no doubt fed to him on the headsets. Haas tried Steve Williams’ finisher, but Dibiase locked in the Million Dollar Dream Legsweep for the win.
WINNERS: Dibiase, Rhodes & Manu at 3:20. OK match that was certainly more entertaining with Haas in there than, say, Jim Duggan. And it pains me to say that.
-The Smackdown Rebound aired.
-Chris Jericho was checking out his injuries in the locker room when JBL walked up to him. JBL tried to sweet-talk Jericho, but Chris interrupted and reminded him of when JBL cost him a title match against Orton last year. Oh, good one. Y2J said Adamle values his opinion more than anyone else’s because he’s the champ, and he’s not investing in a JBL title match.
[Commercial Break]
5- JAMIE NOBLE vs. PAUL BURCHILL
Noble had a puppy-dog look on his face coming to the ring. Burchill was accompanied by his sister to the ring. Burchill also had a new leather jacket on.
Burchill started aggressively, but Noble matched him in intensity. Noble stepped on Burchill’s hand, then headbutted him. European uppercut, but the Englishman missed a charge in the corner. Noble jumped on Paul’s back and looked like he was going for a cradle, but turned it into an arm-bar submission for the win.
WINNER: Noble, at 1:11.
Layla came out and started apologizing about last week, but then her tune changed and she said she was sorry it took so long to dump Noble. She said she finally found a man that was worthy of her. William Regal walked out, in a nice suit. He simply said, “It was Noble she wanted....it was Nobility.” Interesting that they’re continuing this feud.
-Adamle was backstage talking to Lance Cade, when Batista barged in and demanded Adamle’s answer on the #1 contender. Cade asked him what made him think he’d be #1 contender, but Batista man-handled him and said he didn’t ask him. Then he walked out. I guess he didn’t really want that answer from Adamle too badly.
-Next, it’s Rey vs. Kane.
[Commercial Break]
6- KANE vs. REY MYSTERIO
The fact that they’re not even saving this for a PPV after the build-up to the Kane angle really says something about how well they’ve pulled it off. Unless they make the winner of this match #1 contender.
Kane went for a hurricanrana, but Kane held on. Rey did the double-stomp to the gut. Kane came back and choked Rey on the ropes. Kane threw Rey out of the ring, but Rey slid on the apron and did a flip on the outside. He challenged Kane to come out and when he did, Rey went back in the ring. With Kane at ringside, they went to break.
[Commercial Break]
Rey broke out of a chin-lock and got some offense in, including punches in the corner. But Kane grabbed Rey and threw him into the ringpost, below the bottom turnbuckle. Back-breaker by the Big Red Machine. Kane missed a big boot in the corner and got his leg hung-up. Rey went after it with kicks and did a bulldog. Mysterio went to the top and Kane had to stand there a long time waiting for Rey, and Mysterio ended up getting caught by Kane. Looked really bad. Rey set Kane up for the 619, but Kane clotheslined him. Kane put the boots to Rey in the corner and wouldn’t break at the five count, so referee Chad Patton disqualified him.
WINNER: Rey, at 9:38. The big man vs. little man doesn’t lend itself to great matches, and this was no exception.
Kane kept up the attack and tried to get Rey’s mask off, but Evan Bourne came in and attacked Kane. He and Rey double-teamed Kane until they could escape safely. Not much face heat for Rey or Bourne.
-Jericho and Cade were walking backstage when Dolph walked up to them, introduced himself, then walked away. Jericho and Cade are apparently heading to the ring.
[Commercial Break]
-Jericho and Cade came out. Jericho thanked Adamle for taking his opinion into consideration. Jericho suggested JBL vs. Batista at No Mercy, then immediately afterward, he should face the winner for the title. Jericho said it’s fair because he had two matches in the same night at Unforgiven, but he still came out champion. Jericho closed by saying he hopes Adamle takes his suggestion to heart and make that match at No Mercy. Adamle walked out and said the match was more than fair. He made JBL vs. Batista, with the winner becoming number one contender. Adamle said he has a problem- he has quarterly meetings with Shane and Stephanie, and he doesn’t want to make it a habit of having a guy fight on the same night twice. Adamle said they wouldn’t face Jericho at No Mercy. Y2J asked how that was supposed to happen and Adamle said he was approached by someone else after JBL, Batista and Jericho. He had an idea for a title match so exciting, Adamle couldn’t pass it up. He walked to the back without announcing anything, leaving a long pause. Why do they get such complicated match ideas and angles and then have Adamle read them? The opponent, after a very long pause: Shawn Michaels.
HBK had a mic and said he’d permanently disfigure Jericho. HBK said he was thinking of a match, and he thought of one he revolutionized. HBK said it was a match that would allow him to beat Y2J for the World Title Match- HBK asked for help, and the crew brought out a ladder, and set it up on the stage. Michaels climbed to the top and shouted “Ladder Match!” I thought it’d be a better idea to have HBK get so distracted with his title defenses to forget about HBK, and THAT’S when you cue this match and angle up.
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