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Before I forget, the winning entry from last week suggested Jarrett return via text-message, but since he didn't include his name he'll be sadly deprived of the promised shout-out.

Where We've Been: Special Extended PPV Recap Edition. So thanks to Windstorm Ike we lost power for a few days here in Ohio, and thanks to Hurricane Ike all our bloody power company people were in Texas helping out. So it goes. In any event, I just saw No Surrender a few hours ago. Here are my two cents:
1) Most of the matches were fun.
2) If there's a worse wrestler than Robert Roode on the roster, I don't know who it is.
3) You shouldn't put "Have a nice Sunday" on your website if you know bloody well Foley's not showing up.
4) Sting got a title shot at the biggest PPV of the year by resigning his contract? That's not exactly winning the Royal Rumble.
5) At least SoCal's wacky behavior over the past few months makes sense now. (By the way, I also don't mind her helping Lethal, since if you think about it all she did was help Lethal down the ladder. If he had gotten free on his own, he would have been well positioned to win, so it actually fits pretty well.)
6) TNA vastly underestimates the value of Christian Cage, AJ Styles, and, to a much lesser extent, Rhino.
7) I don't like MMA, but I think the Styles-Trigg action was more watch-able than the crowd let on. It wasn't amazing, but it was moderately amusing
8) Bashir as X Division champion is absurd: he's not bad, but he's not great either. And that's without factoring in the plane crash noises in his music. Now it's absurd and insulting.
9) Christy Hemme is underrated as a performer.
10) I don't get what the big deal is with ODB. She's a slightly above average brawler and a mediocre wrestler. I guess The Rock coasted for years on charisma alone, so that must be it.
11) Everyone with a Nielson Box should be watching Raw every week so that Jericho gets to keep the bloody title. That doesn't have anything to do with No Surrender, but I still think it's worth mentioning.
I think that's about it. Best wishes to all those in Texas, except for those people who are making rescue workers' lives hell by refusing to leave Galveston.

The Show: The Return of Double J

Joe's out to start things off. He gives props to Cage and Angle for their respective efforts on Sunday. He respects them for wrestling, whereas Sting just goes home and hangs out with his family. That jerk? He wants to know when was the last time Sting bled for this company, sweated for this company, or sacrificed anything for TNA. When was the last time Sting missed one of his son's football games? At BFG it'll be about their hatred for each other. Sting will take his final bow, and while he does it he can kiss Joe's ass.

Earlier today, JB caught Jarrett arriving. Double J says he has something to say, and he hopes Sting is listening.

[Commercial Break]

Tonight we'll see Booker T vs. Jay Lethal and AJ Styles & Christian Cage vs. The Motor City Machine Guns.

Kurt Angle's out, and he says he has something to say to Jarrett later tonight. First though, he says that when AJ comes down for his match he'll get his ass kicked. Security, surprisingly proactive, backs Angle away from the ring before AJ comes down.

(1) AJ STYLES & CHRISTIAN CAGE defeat THE MOTOR CITY MACHINE GUNS

AJ and Sabin lock up to start. They jump around a bit. Sabin nails a Springboard Arm Drag, but AJ comes back with the high dropkick and makes the take to Cage. They hit some Poetry in Motion, and Cage nails a Corkscrew Elbow. Sabin nails a kick to the mid-section and makes the tag. Shelley hits a Facebuster off the top rope and a Cross Body Block, but then walks into a Gut Buster for two. He makes the tag to Sabin, who hits an MVP like running high boot. He sets Cage up in a Tree of Woe, makes a tag, allows Shelley to hit a drop kick and follows it up with a Hesitation Dropkick. Shelley hits a Slingshot Elbow for two. Cage ducks an Ensuguri attempt by Sabin, which connects to Shelley's head. Cage makes the tag, and AJ comes in with a Double Missile Dropkick. He nails his new Rolling Arm Bar on Sabin, but Shelley breaks up the hold. While Shelley deals with AJ, Cage leaps over and nails a Frog Splash on Sabin. Shelley goes to deal with Cage, but AJ gets him with a Flying Forearm instead. Christian takes Shelley to the outside while AJ nails a Styles Clash for the kill.
After the match AJ shakes hands with both Guns, but when Christian tries to do likewise Shelley flicks him off. Security prevents a brawl from erupting. Their accepting AJ's hand was a nice touch.

JB is in Booker T's lavish locker room, and the Bookerman agrees with Sting in regard to the disrespect rampant in the business. He's taking out Lethal tonight for showing disrespect to a legend like Randy Savage every week. JB says it's supposed to be a way to honor Savage, but Booker begs to differ. He asks if Booker knows what Jarrett is planning to say, and Sharmell answers that Booker knows everything. JB notices the metal briefcase Booker is cradling, but when he tries to ask about it Booker clams up.

[Commercial Break]

They air a video hyping the "Steel Asylum", which is what used to be a TerrorDome before TNA realized that that name sucked.

Not-Crystal is in the back with Sheik Abdul Bashir. He rants a bit about the stock market crash and the candidates making promises to everyone but him. He refers to the belt as his "hostage". Wow, we jumped right from "on the cartoonish line" to "Elmer Fudd".

(2) THE PRINCE JUSTICE BROTHERHOOD defeat PETEY WILLIAMS (w/RHAKHA KHAN), JOHNNY DEVINE, & JIMMY RAVE (w/CHRISTY HEMME & LANCE ROCK)

The Random-Match-Generetor 3000 is working overtime tonight. Petey starts things off with Shark Boy, and walks into a Lou Thesz Press. CM comes in, and hits an Elbow Drop for one. I like one-counts. Petey lifts CM over the ropes—he lands on the aprons, but gets ambushed by Johnny Devine and Jimmy Rave. Petey nails his beautiful Hurricanrana to the outside. Is Petey face or heel? Devine tags in and works CM over inside the ring. Curry Man tries to get a tag, but Devine backs him up into the wrong corner. CM finally nails a desperation Death Valley Driver and makes the tag to Super Eric, who cleans house (including his killer Double DVD). A Power Slam to Petey gets broken up at two. Things break down, and Petey ends up in the ring alone with Curry Man. He hits the Tilt-a-Whirl Russian Leg Sweep, but when his tag-mates fight into the ring they accidentally clothesline him. Super Eric nails a Cross Body Block off the top rope for the win.
After the match Rave and Devine shove referee Shane Seoul out of the way so they can beat up Petey. Seoul's not happy though. He goes on a rampage, introducing Rave and Devine to a Meeting of the Minds. Lance Rock tries to get involved, but Seoul nails a low blow, and he and Petey clear the ring. Earl Hebner runs down to the ring to try to calm down his angry ref.

JB has caught up with Sting, who says that he's happy to listen to what Jarrett has to say.

[Commercial Break]

Earlier this week, Morgan agreed to have his DNA sequenced and sent up to become immortal in the international space station. I'd make fun of that, but it actually sounds incredibly cool. They somehow get the rep from whatever company's sponsoring this to refer to his DNA as "the blueprint".

Not-Crystal is in the back with Abyss & Morgan. Morgan is apparently the first person in wrestling history to actually check a tape in the wake of a misunderstanding, and he realizes that Abyss didn't hit him on Sunday. Abyss accepts the apology with a gift of ripped out hair. Ew. Morgan points out that with their win over Team 3D they're no longer a makeshift tag team, but a real contender. So Morgan has signed them up for an invitational tournament at BFG. Team 3D pop into the frame, and Ray says that their loss on Sunday was a fluke. Devon had spent the night before with a 400 lb. white woman, and Ray pulled his groin at the gym. So they're joining whatever match Morgan & Abyss are in, where somebody's going to be knocked down, knocked out, or maybe even (looking at Not-Crystal) knocked up.

Ms. Jackie is walking over to the LAX entrance.

[Commercial Break]

Ms. Jackie is trash-talking Hector Guerrero, slapping him in the face. Hector gets up, only to be ambushed by Beer Money. It's a good thing she lured him out from behind the deck, where he was, apparently, unreachable. Why are they picking a fight with LAX after they escaped with their titles anyway? Homicide & Hernandez come down to make the save. They come a lot quicker when it's their manager in jeopardy. Traci Brooks appears, and says that as Knockout Law she's demanding Ms. Jackie and Hector come to Cornette's office.

Today's Rough Cut is about Roxxi, whom they call the one true hardcore knockout. There weren't any other women in her class, so she worked with the men. She brought hardcore to women's wrestling. That's interesting, if true.

[Commercial Break]

We go to Jim Cornette's office, where "TB" Traci Brooks says that if Jacqueline wants to mess with the boys, she'll allow it. Next week there will be a six-man tag, with Beer Money & Jacqueline vs. LAX & Hector, with the loser will having to give up their manager for good. Do you get any special privileges for being an official manager anyway? How is this enforceable?

Sting is out to the ring, and if he's heel no one's told the crowd. He says that Joe's words cut right to the bone. But the truth is that Joe is naïve and immature and not smart enough to know what's going on here. Joe's forgotten that when he was still two feet tall Sting was already on the road 340 days a year wrestling for $20 a night. He's been in this business for 20 years, but he hasn't forgotten where he's come from. He learned respect from the greatest. But what is Joe going to do 15 years from now, if he has the longevity to make it that long? He runs off a list of veterans who taught him respect. Not surprisingly, Flair gets the biggest pop. But disrespect might be coming to Joe sooner than 15 years from now, at Bound for Glory. Joe's younger and stronger, but Sting's still got some tricks up his sleeve. He reminds us that he won the last two BFG's in a row. I realize it was basically the same thing he's been saying, but that promo was still awesome.

[Commercial Break]

We get the first images of Suicide, who looks like a cross between Iron Man and Spider Man. I guess there are worse superheroes to look like.

They hype the TNA knockouts.

JB is in the back with Christian Cage & AJ Styles. JB wants to know why AJ didn't do more to stick up for Cage against the Guns. AJ tells JB not to stir things up like Booker T. He points out that everyone's picking sides, but that there's no doubt that he and Cage are on the same page. Christian wants to know which page that is, and says that there's something backwards about AJ calling the shots. He's the champ, and he doesn't like anyone making choices for him. He advises AJ to remember who brought him into the spotlight, then he storms off. JB tries to ask AJ about Jarrett, but AJ's not in a talkative mood anymore.

[Commercial Break]

Not-Crystal is in the back with Jay Lethal, who doesn't want anyone's pity. He is not in a good mood, and wants to kill both Val and Dutt. Then he gets here tonight and hears Booker saying he's disrespecting Savage. Lethal says that Booker doesn't know the first thing about him. He studies Savage's tapes, follows everything he does, and who is Booker to say he's disrespectful? If Booker wants to talk about disrespect, he can later tonight, after Lethal's finished disrespecting his ass all over this arena.
Hol-y-shit. When Lethal is serious, he's one of the best promos in the business.

(3) BOOKER T (w/SHARMELL) defeats "BLACK MACHISMO" JAY LETHAL

Lethal comes out last, and marches to the ring with no nonsense. He gets in Booker's face, and suddenly unloads with a sequence of right hands. Booker comes back with some knees, but Lethal takes him down with an Arm Drag and clotheslines him out of the ring. Booker thinks he has a second to catch his breath, but Lethal follows him out and attacks from behind. Booker fights back, but Lethal rams his head into the ring post. He pounds it into the barricade next, and rolls Booker back into the ring for a Springboard Dropkick. Lethal goes to the top rope, but Sharmell creates a distraction on the apron. It buys Booker enough time to reverse Lethal's attempted Double Axe Handle with a Leg Lariat. He pounds Lethal in the corner, but Lethal just gets up throwing fists. Booker tries to put him away with a Superkick, but Lethal dodges and starts to unload. Booker retakes control with a poke to the eyes, and pounds Lethal into the mat for a two count. He cinches in a Key Lock, which has to be one of the most boring moves in pro wrestling today. Lethal Powers out, but gets taken down by a Spinning Heel Kick. Booker goes for the Scissors Kick, but Lethal sidesteps. He tries for a Back Body Drop, but Lethal lands on his feet and hits a leaping forearm. Booker rallies, but Lethal takes him down with an Arm Drag and dropkicks him in the face for two. When he gets up Sharmell trips him from the outside, which allows Booker to nail the Scissors Kick and pick up the duke.

Not-Crystal is in the back with The Beautiful People. They're annoyed about Rhino, but more concerned with the "blemish" on Angelina Love's face. Not-Crystal asks if they mean a pimple, but they take offense at the very suggestion.

[Commercial Break]

(4) TAYLOR WILDE & RHINO defeat VELVET SKY & CUTE KIP

Mike Tenay explains that while Taylor Wilde is from Canada she wrestled some in Detroit, which is how she became friends with Rhino. It's nice that someone explained it, but that's a bit inconsistent with Wilde referring to Rhino as her "newest" best friend last Sunday. Maybe he just got promoted to "best friend" status? Meanwhile, Taylor has dominated Sky and the men have come in. Rhino misses an attempted GORE, and as Kip distracts the ref and Sky sprays Rhino in the face. Kip takes him down, so Sky comes in and hits some offense. I don't understand why men and women are allowed in the same ring if the men aren't allowed to hit the women. Has that rule been revoked? The fans try to start dueling chants, but who's going to chant "Let's go Cute Kip"? Kip just missed an attempted Stinger Splash, so both men tag in the women. Taylor hits the Northern Lights Suplex, which for some reason only gets two. I thought that was her finisher? Rhino GOREs Kip, seemingly just for fun. Love runs down and hands Velvet Sky a pipe, but Taylor dodges and hits some type of cradle for the three count.
After the match The Beautiful People ambush Rhino & Wilde. Kip leaves the ring for a second, which allows Wilde to take out both women. Wilde goes face-to-face with Kip, when suddenly Awesome Kong's music hits. She comes down to ringside, where Taylor cuts her off with a Cross Body Block off the ring post.

[Commercial Break]

We get back just in time to see The Beautiful People & Awesome Kong give Rhino & Wilde the brown paper bag treatment.

They recap Jarrett's history with TNA's founding.

[Commercial Break]

We're all welcomed to Planet Jarrett, as he gets the full backstage-walk treatment. He comes to the ring, guitar in hand. Don West says that if you played a game of word association and someone said TNA, the first thing you'd say is "Jeff Jarrett". The crowd welcomes him back. He's looking old. I guess tragedy will age a man. He says that after what's been happening the last few weeks, he had to come out here and say a few things, but he has something else to discuss first. Six years ago, when he came down to the ring people weren't just watching Jarrett the wrestler, but Jarrett the TNA founder. When WCW folded, he had a vision of a company where young guys could get the big break they deserved. Thanks to G-d, his wife, a great financial partner, and millions of fans around the world, we've made it this far. The crowd thanks him, but he tells them not to. Lately something's been happening that he just can't ignore. He has something to say to Sting, but doesn't want to talk behind his back, so he'd appreciate it if Sting came down to the ring now. Sting obliges, joining him in the ring. Jarrett reminds Sting that his father was the one to give Sting his start in this business, just like he's been trying to do for the young guys today. He's been watching Sting for the last couple of months, and listening to what he has to say. What he's concluded is that Sting is full of crap. People like AJ and Joe carried this company on their backs, and they always showed Jarrett the utmost respect, just like he showed them. This isn't really about disrespect. Jarrett and Sting were both there when veterans refusing to pass the torch killed WCW. There is a locker room full of guys under 30 nipping at Sting's heel, and he just wants to hold onto his spotlight and his fat paychecks. People like Booker and Kurt and Sting are afraid of losing their spot, so they take and take without giving back. Angle's heard enough, so he joins them in the ring. Angle rightly points out the hypocrisy of calling Sting down to the ring but talking about Angle behind his back. Jarrett wasn't sure he'd get a chance to talk to Angle, but he's glad he's here. Jeff says that when he had to step away two years ago, he picked Angle to fill his shoes. As the founder of TNA wrestling, it was the worst decision he ever made. Look what's happened: Kurt's lost his family, his wife, his title, and even his gold medal. The only thing Kurt has left to lose is his stink'n dignity. Angle asks his "boss" if he can talk, then says that the real reason Jarrett left two years ago was because he was over the hill. Sting kicked his ass at BFG 2006, and so Jarrett went out and found a younger, better, version of himself. For two years Kurt carried this company on his back, but Jarrett never thanked him for saving his damn company. Jarrett wants to exchange words, but Angle would rather exchange fists at Bound for Glory. Jarrett says that he came out tonight as the founder of TNA, not as a wrestler—he says he has nothing left to prove. Angle says that if he's not a wrestler, he should get the hell out of his ring and not come back. This ring is for wrestlers, not has-beens. Jarrett warns Kurt not to push him, because Kurt doesn't want any part of the pain Jarrett's been feeling for two years. But…he points to the monitor, where a smiley face gives way to Mick Foley. Foley says that he thinks what Jarrett's trying to say is that it's real—it's damn real.

Where We're Going: I'm loving this. I missed the old-young feud in WCW, so I don't know what went wrong there, but this is just about the deepest wrestling angle I've seen in years (not counting anything involving HBK or Y2J). Both sides have pretty damn good points, and both sets of motivations are wholly understandable. In a world where identity-politics seem to reign supreme, it makes perfect sense that not only would both Sting and Joe believe they were right, but that they'd both be sure that they're right, and want to settle it inside the ring. Also, it retroactively makes it a little better that they didn't pull the trigger on this story after Joe's stellar promo at Turning Point last December—one might almost be tempted to give them credit for having a plan.

Star of the Night: Any of Lethal, Sting, Angle, or Jarrett would have a claim. I give Sting the nod.

Overall: Was this a perfect show? Not by any means. But a deep story line, coming off the heels of some solid wrestling last Sunday, reminds me of why I'll back professional wrestling any day of the week. Some movie or other has the corny line about how something doesn't have to be perfect to be just what you need, and after two weeks of garbage and a windstorm, this was just what I needed. A

Daniel is a graduate student at The Ohio State University. He does not apologize for capitalizing move names, since they certainly look like proper nouns to him. He can be reached at dawilk316@gmail.com.


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