By Wade Keller, Torch editor

KELLER'S WWE RAW REPORT (hour two)
NOVEMBER 3, 2008
LIVE FROM TAMPA, FLA.

[Q5]

-Triple H did the "Are you ready?" bit. Shawn Michaels interrupted and said he wasn't ready. He threw to a clip of Miz and John Morrison on ECW last week mocking them and beating up DX impersonators. Michaels said he's never noticed how big his nose is before. Triple H said, "It's the camera. It adds ten pounds." Michaels said, "How many cameras do they have on that thing?" Cole did his terrible forced laughter. Michaels said the part that really threw him over the edge was mocking the chaps. He said he'll put up with a lot: "You can mock my kids, you can punch my wife in the face, but nobody mocks my chaps. That's where I draw the line," Michaels said. Triple said what really got to them was when they mocked Michaels about going bald. Michaels put a cowboy hat on and said, "I don't recall them saying anything about that situation." Triple H said it's pretty obvious. Michaels said, "Never speak of this again."

Triple H said, "Those guys said they were in high school when we got started." Michaels said that stings. Triple H pointed to a picture of The Miz in high school. Triple H said, "Don't let him belittle himself. The Miz is quite an athlete. This is right after he took second in the Kentucky Derby." Cole and Lawler over-laughed as if their jobs depended on it. Triple H made a horse snorting noise, then said, "No offense, Lilian." The crowd booed that. They went to a picture of John Morrison bending over. Triple H said: "Here's John Morrison assuming a position he would assume for years to come at truck stops all over the country." Oh, the Cole and Lawler laughter is almost unbearable.

Triple H said they look like guys who got beat up every day in high school, and tonight would be no different. Triple H then turned to Michaels and said, "I'll ask one more time. Are you ready?" Michaels shouted, "I'm ready!" Then they threw to footage of Big Dick Johnson giving a lap dance to a blindfolded Miz who thought it was a beautiful woman. Michaels said he doesn't feel so well now. Triple H finished their pre-match routine. Triple H said: "Miz and Morrison have a dream that they one day will be able to enjoy all the same rights and privileges as any other couples in the United States, the right to marry and start their own family. With that in mind, for Miz and Morrison, let's get ready to suck it!" Miz & Morrison's intro music interrupted Michaels saying, "If you're not down with that..." Triple H proves the old wrestling addage: When you're desperate to stay over, resort to gay jokes. The worst part about that segment was the laughing by Cole and Lawler. It's just so pathetic and phony and uncomfortable when Cole and Lawler are laughing uproariously at mediocre (at best) material.

[Commercial Break]

[Q6]

4 -- TRIPLE H & SHAWN MICHAELS vs. MIZ & MORRISON

The match was joined in progress after the break. Miz and Morrison took over on Michaels at 3:00. Lawler said the longer they stay in control, the more their confidence builds. Miz and Morrison made rapid tags. When Morrison slapped Michaels, Michaels fired back with an enzuigiri. Michaels hot-tagged Triple H. He hit Morrison with a high knee, then knocked Miz off the ring apron. Miz broke up a Pedigree attempt by Triple H. Triple H gave him a spinebuster. Morrison surprised Triple H with a springboard kick. He made the cover; Michaels broke it up. Morrison continued on offense against Triple H and then nipped up. He signaled for Sweet Chin Music and went forth with the Michaels imitation. He connected with the kick to Triple H's chin, then tagged in Miz. Cole said this would be their biggest victory ever. They stood over Triple H and did the crotch chop as the crowd booed. Miz stomped on Triple H's face, then set up a Pedigree. Triple H powered out of it with a backdrop. Morrison charged, but Triple H ducked and Michaels pulled down the top rope. Morrison tumbled to the floor. Michaels gave Miz his real Sweet Chin Music and Triple H finished him with a Pedigree. Cole and Lawler praised Miz & Morrison's competitiveness against what Cole said was "without question the greatest tag team of all time," DX.

WINNERS: DX in 10:00.

STAR RATING: *3/4 -- That was fine. It wasn't a career-boost for Miz & Morrison, but it wasn't done in a way that demeaned their stature, either. Losing in competitive fashion after getting in serious offense and needing a save by Michaels to break up a potential pin by Triple H gave them enough credibility to absorb the ultimate loss without seeming beneath DX's level.

-They showed Shane and JBL watching backstage. JBL said the beating he gave Michaels last week wasn't nearly enough. Shane asked what he came in to his office to talk about. JBL said he had a business proposition. He said now that the Mike Adamle Era is over, it's time for a real leader, such as himself, a self-made millionaire. Shane said perhaps in the mean time, he could be in a high-profile match tonight. JBL smiled and suggested Shane make the cage match later a triple threat for the World Title. Shane said that's not exactly what he had in mind. Shane said instead he was thinking a man of his stature against The Undertaker. JBL smiled, chuckled, and tried to act brave. JBL said it would be a match-up of titans and quite an honor. Shane said, "I'm glad we had this talk." Cole said this would be a real treat, an extremely rare Raw appearance by Undertaker.

-A commercial aired plugging the return of John Cena at Survivor Series.

[Commercial Break]

-A clip aired from episode #243 of Mike Tyson appearing on the show with Vince McMahon and Steve Austin.

[Q7]

5 -- EVE TORRES & BRI BELLA & KELLY KELLY & MARIA & CANDICE MICHELLE & MICKEY JAMES & TIFFANY & MAE YOUNG vs. BETH PHOENIX & JILLIAN HALL & VICTORIA & NATALYA & KATIE LEE & LAYLA & MARYSE & LENA

The heel Divas were standing in the ring after the break. The babyfaces came out to Mickie's music. Lawler noted that the babyface team was short one member. Lawler said: "Her birth certificate is a rock. In one of the pyramids, they found a picture of Mae Young in a headlock." Lawler added: "You know the average male thinks of Kelly Kelly nine times every hour." Mae begged to be tagged in early. She entered against Phoenix. She jabbed her in the throat and knocked her to the mat with two more punches. She fended off a parade of women coming at him until she literally bouncedbackwards from the force of her own punch and landed backwards against the middle rope. It was both funny and scary at once. The babyface women leaped into the ring to knock others out. Phoenix schoolgirled Mae for the win. Santino celebrated with Phoenix and her teammates at ringside.

WINNERS: Phoenix in 2:00. That was ridiculously short. Fans who actually looked forward to this match based on hype on WWE.com have to feel let down. That's justnot the policy WWE should be aiming for.

-The Smackdown Rebound aired.

[Commercial Break]

-They showed the exterior of the arena. Then they threw to a clip from episode #456 featuring Hulk Hogan saying he is the biggest star ever and no one will be bigger, followed by The Rock stepping out and Ross saying, "It's wrestlings past meeting wrestling's future." They agreed to a match.

6 -- C.M. PUNK vs. RANDY ORTON

Oh the Orton chinlock, how we missed you so. At 1:00 we got the obligatory Orton chinlock. It came early enough that we knew this would be a short match. He lost a bet years ago and has to do one in every single match he ever wrestles. Punk went on a flurry after breaking the chinlock including a running knee in the corner. Orton fired right back by tossing Punk off of a bulldog attempt. Orton waited for Punk to rise. Once he did, Orton moved in for an RKO. Instead, though, DiBiase intervened and attacked Punk, prompting a DQ.

WINNER: No contest in 3:00.

[Q8]

-Orton wasn't pleased with the interference, so he gave DiBiase a punt kick. He stood over the KO'd DiBiase as fans chanted, "RKO, RKO." Manu and Cody entered the ring. Orton stepped out and slowly walked to the back.

[Commercial Break]

-They replayed the punt kick by Orton to DiBiase. They cut backstage where Manu and Cody confronted Orton. Cody said, "What were you thinking?!" Orton said he gets that they want revenge on Punk, but he was seconds away from winning. He said what he did out there was try to kick some sense into DiBiase. He said he hopes it sunk in. He said if Cody and Manu have a problem with him, do something about it right now. He shouted, "I dare you! I dare you!" They did nothing. Orton said, "Smart. Very smart. There may be hope for you two just yet."

-A clip aired from episode #772 of the Big Show-Floyd Mayweather angle.

-Mike Adamle walked up to Stephanie McMahon backstage who was messing with her Blackberry. Steph said, "I thought your speech was eloquent and short and to the point." Adamle said, "Let's cut to the chase, Stephanie." He said she knows why he's leaving. He said every time he's made a decision or come up with a good idea, she's called and changed it. He said she wants to be involved in everything, but everything she said was contrary to what Shane told him. He added, "You know what, Stephanie, motherhood hasn't done you a bit of good. You're still a megalomaniac." Steph asked if he was through. He said yes. She said: "Don't blame me for your inadequacy. I'm a McMahon. Controlling this show is my birthright. Good luck, Mike." Shane passed Mike on his way out. Shane asked Steph what was up. She said, "Just more Adamle gobbledgook. It's nothing." Shane said he had a major announcement about Survivor Series. Steph insisted he tell her. Shane asked if she trusted him. She said, "Of course," but it wasn't convincing. She let Shane leave without telling her, but she clearly wasn't comfortable with it.

-Cole plugged Undertaker vs. JBL.

[Commercial Break]

-An ECW commercial aired focused generically on Miz.

A clip aired from episode #475 in 2002 of a ladder match between Undertaker and Jeff Hardy in a ladder match fro the Undisputed Championship.

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