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KELLER'S ECW REPORT
NOVEMBER 25, 2008
AIRED ON SCI-FI

[Q1]

-The show opened with a video package promoting the Jack Swagger vs. Tommy Dreamer match. Then with no other fanfare, Todd Grisham introduced the show. They went right to the ring where Dreamer - with hair so perfectly styled and formed that it could be photographed for a hair gel magazine ad in 1978 - waited for Swagger.

1 -- TOMMY DREAMER vs. JACK SWAGGER -- Extreme Rules Match

As I noted to weeks ago when Swagger gave that career-making promo, Swagger carried himself like a star here in the seconds before the bell rang. He just has that "it" factor that you wouldn't notice in a still picture. Swagger tried to outwrestle Dreamer early, but Dreamer came right back with some kendo stick shots. Striker explained that the bamboo strips close on your skin as they make contract and pull pieces of skin off in the process. They fought to ringside where Swagger reversed Dreamer into the ringpost to take control at 2:00. As Striker grabbed a trash can, Dreamer recovered and flip dove off the ring apron onto Swagger. The crowd chanted "Tommy, Tommy." Swagger bashed Dreamer's head into a chair propped in the corner as they cut to a break.

[Commercial Break]

[Q2]

At 6:00 Swagger dropped Dreamer knee-first over a chair set up mid-ring. He continued to attack his knee. He wedged a chair around his lower leg and applied a half Boston crab with it. Dreamer crawled over and grabbed a kendo stick on the ring apron and hit Swagger. Swagger came back with a sprint kneelift. Striker referenced Duke "The Dumpster" Droese as Swagger used a tarsh can. Dreamer came back and put a trash can against Swagger's face as he hung unside down in the corner. Dreamer "ran" and "slid" into the chair feet first. He may have stopped an short of actually kicking the can, though, as he just seemed to come to a stop a foot before anyone else would have doing that move with that "running start." Swagger came back with a powerslam for a two count at 12:00. Dreamer blocked an Oklahoma Stampede attempt and hit a DDT for a two count instead. Swagger used a drop toe hold to send Dreamer face-first into a chair set up in the corner. He followed with a powerbomb through a table mid-ring leading to the pin. Grisham asked, "Where does Swagger go from here? The biggest win of his career, a victory over Dreamer in Dreamer's kind of match."

WINNER: Swagger in 13:00.

STAR RATING: **3/4 - Good match. Another indication that Swagger is on his way to stardom.

-Miz and John Morrison plugged replays of Survivor Series. They are so 100 percent into their gimmicks, you have to watch. They are also prolific with snarky commentary on anything and anyone in WWE. As they began bragging about their new matching outfits, Boogeyman showed up behind them with worms in his hands and mouth. He appeared to suck in and swallow about 25 earth worms. Miz and Morrison changed rooms.

-Grisham interviewed Matt Hardy regarding Jeff's situation. He said, "A lot of people were pleasantly surprised Jeff showed up at Survivor Series." He said it might not have been the best idea, but he's now at home recovering. Swagger interrupted and told Hardy that now that he's done with Dreamer, he's going after his title.

-Backstage Mark Henry grabbed a handful of candy and then offered it to Hornswoggle. He told him to pay close attention to what he does to his daddy tonight in the ring "because it's going to be anything but sweet." He then threw candy at Hornswoggle. Hornswoggle made a sad face as the camera stayed on him awkwardly long.

[Commercial Break]

[Q3]

2 -- D.J. GABRIEL (w/Alicia Fox) vs. UNNAMED OPPONENT

Gabriel is a cross between Mark Jindrak, Alex Wright, and Buff Bagwell. Not sure that's a good thing at all. Gabriel made Striker's week by giving his opponent the giant swing. Gabriel won with the flying European uppercut off the second rope again.

WINNER: Gabriel in 2:00.

-Grisham interviewed Fox and Gabriel mid-ring. He asked her why she's on ECW since the last time they saw her she was wedding planning for Edge's wedding. She said she took her business overseas and that's where she met Gabriel. She said there was a real connection, so things turned out great. She said she called some friends and got him booked on ECW. Gabriel said they share a passion for having fun and winning. They did more intentionally ridiculous dancing in the ring. Fun gimmick, interesting pairing. ECW isn't always the best show of the week, but it's the closest to what was once great about pro wrestling that's been missing since the Monday Night War era, which is watching younger, unproven, untenured wrestlers get a chance to develop in front of our very eyes with TV squash wins and promos. It's so much more entertaining than watching, say, DX squash Spirit Squad. Sometimes it's not about the stars, but it's about the genre, and this genre is better when it's not about scripting around the status quo and worshipping altar of tenure and experience.

-A video package on John Cena snapping and attacking Chris Jericho at on Raw.

-A commercial aired with DX promoting their latest merchandise. I hear the stars of "Will & Grace" just came out with a new coffee mug, too. And that hot new teen sensation Britney Spears has a new t-shirt out promoting her first tour. And Apple is selling mouse pads featuring their upcoming new product that's supposed to revolutionize music, something called the iPod. I'm so embarrassed for Shawn Michaels and Triple H when they cling to their past like this, as if they need more merch money. It also gives away that Triple H can't sell anything without the glow-stick green DX logo attached. The kids who got into wrestling because of DX are now going to student-teacher conferences.

- A clips aired of Ricky Ortiz winning with his leaping splash three weeks ago. Then Grisham plugged Ortiz's guest appearance on "The Chase," a new show on Sci-Fi where humans are videogame characters in a life-size set running around playing laser tag, or something like that.

3 -- MARK HENRY (w/Tony Atlas) vs. FINLAY (w/Hornswoggle)

Four minutes of exactly what you'd expect from these two. Then they cut to a break.

[Commercial Break]

Back from the break, Henry was squeezing Finlay's jaw. They showed that during the break, Henry rammed Finlay back-first into the ring apron. Then Henry shifted to a chinlock. Henry kicked Finlay in the face and Finlay leaped over the top rope to the floor. He came back with a shillelagh, but Henry had Hornswoggle. Finlay hit Henry in the legs. Hornswoggle rolled to the floor as Finlay hit Henry with a flying dropkick off the second rope. Finlay noticed Atlas had grabbed Hornswoggle, so he didn't go for the pin and saved Finlay. Henry then hit Finlay from beind. Atlas and Henry dragged Hornswoggle toward the back. Finlay hit Atlas and Henry from behind with his stick, then protected Hornswoggle who hid behind him.

WINNER: No contest in 13:00.

STAR RATING: 1/2* -- Really flat match and flat non-finish.

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