By Wade Keller, PWTorch editor

KELLER'S ECW REPORT
MARCH 3, 2009
BOSTON, MASS.
AIRED ON SCI-FI NETWORK

[Q1]

-The show opened with clips of Jack Swagger retaining the ECW Title against Christian in last week's main event, focusing on Christian favoring his shoulder at the end of the match and after getting pinned.

-The ECW opening montage aired, then Todd Grisham introduced the show and hyped the six-man tag main event.

1 -- KANE vs. BOOGEYMAN

Kane made his special appearance on ECW. Matt Striker hyped the cable premier of "See No Evil" on Saturday night on SciFi. He actually said it is among his favorite movies of all time. Grisham said he was so scared the first time he saw it, he's not sure he can sit through it again. The announcers hyped Boogeyman persona, not knowing at the time it'd be the last time they'd introduce him. Grisham said Boogeyman comes from "the land of the disturbed" and observed that Kane might even be weirded out. Kane dominated early. Boogeyman avoided a second rope clothesline by Kane and then went after him, but Kane quickly took control again and knocked Boogeyman to the floor. Seconds later Kane scored a clean win after a chokeslam.

WINNER: Kane in 2:00.

STAR RATING: 1/4* -- Just not much to it. Worms around the celebrate the final appearance of Boogeyman, who will go back to living under the bed of a child near you.

-Striker hyped the Money in the Bank qualifier with Santino Marella and Mark Henry up next.

[Commercial Break]

-The WrestleMania 25 preview video aired to the AC/DC theme song.

-Striker hyped the six-man tag match again.

2 -- SANTINO MARELLA (w/Beth Phoenix, Rosa Mendez) vs. MARK HENRY - Money in the Bank qualifier

Striker called Santino "one of the most entertaining Superstars in all of the WWE." Before the match Santino acknowledged that Henry is the World's Strongest Man. He said, though, that women don't like Henry's physique, but they worship his biceps, they freak out over his abdominals, and they go nuts over the curvature of his glutimous. He said he could have been Mr. America or Mr. Italy. He said he could have been a life guard on "Baywatch" and saved many-a-people.

[Q2]

Striker reminded viewers that Santino is a two-time IC Champion. When Santino charged Henry, Henry shoulder blocked him to the mat and out of the ring. Phoenix mouthed off at Phoenix. Santino went for a running crossbody block Henry, but Henry didn't budge. He then powerslammed him for a win.

WINNER: Henry in 1:00.

STAR RATING: 1/4* -- Not much to it, and it's sad to see Santino treated as such a hapless comedy figure, but given how Henry is pushed as a dominant big man, it's not unexpected.

-Striker hyped that C.M. Punk, Mark Henry, and Kane are all qualified for the Money in the Bank ladder match.

[Commercial Break]

-The Evan Bourne video aired. It said he's Returning Soon. No date.

-Howard Finkle introduced "The Second Annual Dirty Awards" hosted by Miz and John Morrison with a golden toilet as the icon. For "Biggest Virgin," they nominated Bourne, D.J. Gabriel, and Festus. Then they went to a funny impersonation of Bourne by Morrison, wearing a wig and making unflattering facial expressions. The next award was for "Best Original Musical Performance." They nominated themselves for "Mizfits and Mo-Fos," R-Truth for "What's Up?", and The Colons for "Doing the Butt." They announced they were the winners. "Best Internet Video" nominations were The Dirt Sheet, Word Up, and Santino's Casa. The winner was The Dirt Sheet for the second year in a row. Miz and Morrison gloated and closed with "Be Jealous."

-A recap aired of the Randy Orton-Triple H angle on Raw the night before.

-The ring intro aired for the Diva match up next. They showed a dancing fan in the crowd.

[Commercial Break]

[Q3]

3 -- ALICIA FOX (w/D.J. Gabriel) vs. NATALYA (w/Tyson Kid)

Gabriel has that look that would make any layperson question the legitimacy or thoroughness of Wellness Program. His look is right out of the "steroids-are-legal-and-safe" late-1980s era. but some people have genetic gifts that are off-the-chart. Striker said Gabriel should stop trying to be Denny Terrio (host of "Dance Fever" back in what is widely known as the pre-WrestleMania era of television entertainment.). Natalya won with the Sharpshooter. She dominated from the start. Afterward, Kidd stopped his celebration with Natalya to attack Gabriel. Gabriel made a comeback quickly, knocking Kidd to the floor with a European uppercut.

WINNER: Natalya in 2:00.

STAR RATING: 1/2*

-They showed Striker and Grisham on camera. They threw to a preview of John Cena's "12 Rounds" movie.

[Commercial Break]

-The Hall of Fame announcement for Bill Watts aired. Anyone who watches Raw and Smackdown is really having their patience tested with so much repeat material in the last 20 minutes. ECW has done it's best ratings when the original content has been at its highest.

[Q4]

4 -- CHRISTIAN & TOMMY DREAMER & FINLAY (w/Hornswoggle) vs. MIZ & JOHN MORRISON & JACK SWAGGER

The announcers said Christian is eager to get his hands on Swagger again after losing last week. It really says something about Christian's stature right now that his loss last week to Swagger hasn't been a bigger topic of conversation since. Swagger's win over Christian could have been treated as a very big deal and a real statement victory that says how good Swagger is. Instead, it's being treated as pretty much expected or at least not particularly surprising or telling. Christian just isn't being treated as a big star or big deal at all. Grisham called Miz & Morrison "one of the great tag teams of this decade," then asked if Grisham agreed. He did. Swagger opened against Dreamer, but then quickly tagged out even before touching. At 2:00 Finlay threw Hornswoggle onto Miz and Morrison at ringside, then they cut to a break.

[Commercial Break]

Finlay had Miz down after the break. Striker said Christian underwent intense physical therapy to compete tonight. Dreamer powerslammed Morrison at 7:00 for a two count. Morrison kicked Dreamer to the floor seconds later. The openly right-wing Striker managed to find a way to make Chappaquiddick reference, saying Boston is a town where the unjust go unpunished. Swagger tagged in at 8:00. Striker said a lot of experts are saying Swagger cemented his place in history with a hard-fought victory over Christian last week. That's better than continuing to virtually ignore last week's match, but it's still not enough to get everything out of that match after that fact that they could have regarding it setting the stage for Christian's motivations going forward and Striker's growing credibility and ego. The heels isolated Dreamer for a few minutes. Dreamer hot-tagged Christian at 10:00. Grisham said the "Peep-u-lation" was excited to see Christian with a flurry of offense. Chaos broke out leading to Christian hitting a top rope headbutt on Morrison for a two count, broken up by Miz. Finlay and Miz tumbled over the top rope seconds later. Swagger blind-tagged himself in as Christian hit his Kill Switch (Unprettier). Swagger then surprised Christian with his gut-wrench powerbomb for the win.

WINNERS: Swagger & Miz & Morrison in 13:00.

STAR RATING: ** -- Solid tag match. Pretty formula, but a good mix of personalities. Another loss for Christian in what is either punishment for going to TNA for a few years or just a sign of McMahon's lack of confidence in Christian as a star in general or just a strong sign of belief in Swagger as The Next Next Big Thing.

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