By James Caldwell, PWTorch.com assistant editor

TNA Impact on Spike TV
March 12, 2009
Taped Mar. 3 in Orlando, Fla.

We start with a video package recapping the Main Event Mafia's drama on last week's show. Mafia. Mafia. Mafia. Eat you alive. Appetizer = Jeff Jarrett. Main course = Stinger at Destination X.

Backstage: Kurt Angle spit into the camera, then walked down the hallway. Mike Tenay said we're going to find out Angle's response after being booted from the Impact Zone by Jarrett last week.

Impact Zone: Mike Tenay hyped the final show leading to the PPV. First, it's an elimination deal with Beer Money & Morgan vs. Team 3D & Abyss. Hey, where's Rhino these days? Still injured in the parking lot? Tenay alone thus far, then Kurt Angle walked out as Tenay kept talking and talking. Don West hasn't shown up yet. Angle told the Butt Buddy Boss Man Jeff Jarrett to show up. Get on out here, Jeff. Do you have any balls?

Jarrett's music had enough and out walked Jarrett with guitar in hand. Suddenly, Mick Foley and a bald B.G. James showed up to beg off Jarrett. B.G. told Jeff to look at him. Listen to me! Let's take it to the hotel. Please clarify that. Mick told him to calm down and take it on back. Bam Bam "B.G." James Bigelow escorted Jeff away, then Foley took the mic and asked Angle what happened to that Angle from ten years ago. *singing* Living in the past.

Foley talked about himself, saying he put his money on the line six months ago. He believes in Joe, Styles, and you, Kurt. Foley talked about Angle trying to bring TNA down with him. Don't we hear the same promo every single week? The only person he can put his faith in is Sting, Foley said. See, Sting has finally figured out he has nothing in common with any of them. And this Sunday, Sting will retain the TNA Title. Foley suggested Angle fight him since Jarrett's at the hotel.

Intense exchange led to Angle slowly backing away while Foley smiled his toothless grin. Angle then dipped out of the ring not wanting a piece of Angle. Backstage, Jim Cornette was so happy about Mick Foley standing up to him. Sting then walked in and Cornette hyped him up. They go back 20 years ago, bro. Cornette said he has management all over him because he has a whole locker room not getting spotlight, matches, or pay. Program can't descend into chaos every week, so he wants someone else in the limelight. Cornette told Sting to go pick one guy and Angle will do the same. They'll go one-on-one with them ringside for the pick.

[Commercial Break]

Backstage: Lauren brought in Mick Foley and the debuting Jenna Morasca for an intro promo. Jenna said her favorite is Kevin Nash and she needs to talk business with Foley. Suddenly, Matt Morgan grabbed Lauren by the hair to annoy her. Morgan wanted to know where the half-breed Abyss is. Morgan, holding his bag of tacks, told Lauren to give Abyss a message. Lauren said Abyss doesn't need to mutilate his body to make a living anymore. Morgan then sexually assaulted Lauren, who slapped Morgan and ran off before he could rape her on TV. Pathetic angle.

1 -- SHEIK ABDUL BASHIR vs. RHINO

Hey, look, there's Rhino. Time for a xenophobic battle from their feud like half-a-year ago. About 20 seconds into the match, Don West showed up at the broadcast table. West was mic'ed up at the table while Tenay went through the motions of calling the Rhino vs. Bashir match. West said no one told him about moving up the start time. Tenay shot back that it starts the same time every week. West said flu, but Tenay said that's code for hangover. West rolled his eyes, then Tenay recapped to West what he missed. West wasn't paying attention, which upset Tenay. Bashir avoided a weak Gore, but Rhino rolled him up from behind for the win. My goodness, a clean finish!

Post-match: Bashir low-blowed Rhino from behind to get his heat back. Bashir then introduced a chair and he cracked it over Rhino's face with Rhino getting his hands up to absorb the blow. Bashir then posed over Rhino's fallen body.

WINNER: Rhino in 4:00. Forgettable match with a post-match angle that was barely relevant months ago. (1/2*)

Backstage: Borash interviewed the Beautiful People + Kip + Madison Rayne.

[Commercial Break]

Backstage: Scott Steiner tried to talk some sense into Kurt Angle. Angle couldn't get Kevin Nash to wrestle for him tonight, as Nash still has a tube in his arm. Angle sent security away to find him a potential wrestler.

Video package: A.J. Styles vs. Booker T. ... Backstage, Booker T confronted Jim Cornette for a discussion of the deal with Styles. Booker was asked to sign a waiver releasing him of legal action against Styles. Booker said he better not let him catch Styles on the street. Cornette then pulled out another form to face Styles for Destination X. Booker wanted nothing to do with it, so Cornette pulled some reverse psychology on Booker being too afraid, too slow, too scared of Styles. Booker wasn't happy with his manhood being challenged, so he signed the deal for Styles. Booker said he's going to beat Styles like he's his daddy. Nice promo.

Backstage: Sting approached Eric Young about wrestling for him. He wants to find someone who believes in respect like he does. Sting said he's hesitant to let Young out there with Angle in the state of mind he's in. Young said he knows Mafia, he believes in Sting, and he wants the spotlight. He said he's been criticized for not taking himself seriously, but he wants Sting to believe in him as a serious wrestler. Young sold himself, Sting thought it over, and said he can't deny that passion. He'll be ringside and ready, if needed, though. Handshake.

[Commercial Break]

Backstage: Lauren brought in Jay Lethal and Consequences Creed. They aren't pleased with Mafia trying to invade their locker room. Lethal said mystery partners tonight are Morales and Santana. Yeah. Hernandez and Homicide then stepped in and cut a promo about taking back their show.

[Commercial Break]

Backstage: Angle brought in Kiyoshi and No Limit to discuss the spot. Kiyoshi simply bowed when Angle tried to ask if they understood his proposal. Angle had enough of Kiyoshi and kicked him in the gut. Yes! Mafia stepped in and prevented No Limit from making fools of themselves. Kiyoshi wanted a piece of Angle, but he left. Angle complained about them not understanding English, so why are they in the country?

2 -- TEAM 3D (BROTHER RAY & BROTHER DEVON) & ABYSS vs. MATT MORGAN & TNA tag team champions BEER MONEY, INC. (JAMES STORM & ROBERT ROODE w/Miss Jackie) -- Elimination match

Roode took an early beating while Tenay complained to West that Abyss hasn't accepted the 10,000 tack challenge just yet. Jackie suddenly snuck in from behind and low-blowed Devon, leading to Storm pinning Devon for an elimination.

[Commercial Break]

Out of the break, James Storm was DQ'ed by Slick Johnson for illegal behavior. West flew off the handle complaining about it. Suddenly, Ray with a Bubba Bomb on Roode for the pin. Groan. Another one of those illogical pin sequences you wouldn't see in a regular match. Suddenly, Morgan nailed Ray with a chokeslam bomb for the pin. Double groan. Down to Abyss vs. Morgan. They had a singles match exchange, then Morgan brought the tacks into the ring. Abyss blocked, then saw the bag on the mat. He surveyed the bag of tacks, then Lauren stormed the ring and told Abyss not to do it. Suddenly, Morgan nailed the big bicycle kick for the pin and the win.

Post-match: Drunk West took the opportunity to complain about Lauren and women in general. "Ooooooh man. You just have to know where your place is." Lauren then jumped into the ring to check on Abyss before Morgan went the sexual assault route. He teased a chokeslam into the tacks, but Abyss made the save and Blueprint went reeling to the floor. Abyss then accepted the 10,000 tack match.

WINNER: Morgan in 10:00. Ridiculous elimination match that reminded me of those ten-way Cruiserweight matches that had nine eliminations in five minutes. Unrealistic. (*)

[Commercial Break]

Announcers: West ripped Lauren for being a dumb blonde. Tenay asked West to explain himself for defending Morgan's actions. West with more sexist jokes. Tenay asked West to pull a Don West and leave in the middle of the show. West said no prob, Bob. West said he'll be at the hotel bar. Tenay said you won't need to ask anyone for directions. Tenay then put on his mad face.

Backstage: Abyss snapped and wiped his sweat and spit all over the camera. He said he won't stand for Morgan assaulting his girlfriend. He's going to get him. At the end of it, Morgan is going to have more holes in it than A-Rod's story.

[Commercial Break]

3 -- MADISON RAYNE (w/Angelina Love, Velvet Sky, and Cute Kip) vs. TAYLOR WILDE (w/Roxxi and Governor Palin) -- Traci Brooks special ref

Mick Foley was on commentary to replace Don West. They made some WWE jokes about the headsets for Foley. Traci Brooks was suddenly back on TV without explanation as special ref. Taylor scored a pin when Madison tried to grab the ref, but Brooks shoved her down into a sunset flip for Taylor. Post-match: Beautiful Peeps laid out the babyfaces and stood tall.

WINNER: Taylor in 3:00. Just a set up for the six-woman tag match at the PPV. (1/2*)

ODB segment: Jeremy Borash joined ODB for a preview of her One Night with ODB contest. More random video clips from contestants.

[Commercial Break]

Impact Zone: Booker T stormed ringside and confronted Mick Foley. Kevin Nash and Mafia security then pulled Booker away before he could snap on Foley. Suddenly, Scott Steiner blasted Foley with a plastic pipe. He told Foley to get himself up. B.G. James then showed up in his basketball shorts to check on Foley and help him up. Foley came up holding his head in pain with a little - actually, a lot - of blood flowing out. Medics then showed up to check on Foley while Tenay shook his head in disdain.

[Commercial Break]

ROUGH CUT: They hyped the Ultimate X match with a focus on X Division champion Shelley saying he will do whatever it takes, cut whatever corners to retain the title and protect Sabin.

4 -- CONSEQUENCES CREED & JAY LETHAL & LAX (HOMICIDE & HERNANDEZ) vs. MAIN EVENT MAFIA (BOOKER T & SCOTT STEINER w/Sharmell) and MOTOR CITY MACHINEGUNS (ALEX SHELLEY & CHRIS SABIN)

Back and forth exchange between the two sides early on. Creed then took a beating from Scott Steiner, isolating him from his three tag partners. Benedict Arnolds - Shelley and Sabin - collided into each other to allow Creed to tag out of the match because the Mafia definitely wouldn't have lost control. Action flew all over the place, then broke down on the floor. In the ring, Hernandez worked on the Guns before throwing Sabin across the ring with a Border Toss. Hernandez then covered Sabin for the win.

WINNERS: LAX & Creed & Lethal in 5:00. Quick eight-man tag match. Of course, Mafia was nowhere near the finish, as they wouldn't be expected to take a direct loss. Too much action and too little time for it to stand out. (*)

Backstage: Borash sat down with Mick Foley, who was next to B.G. James. Foley cut a screaming promo about not taking that trip to the hospital because he has to push for change. James got all pissy saying it wasn't supposed to happen like this. C'mon, man! Foley said it wasn't supposed to happen like this, but...it makes me happy. Hehe. Foley put on a sadistic smile.

[Commercial Break]

Backstage: Angle talked to Brutus Magnus, who was not given the work as Angle's rep. Angle then turned to "big guy" Rocco from Mafia security to wrestle for him. Angle clapped it up, then Rocco walked out ahead of him.

Impact Zone: Angle walked out rubbing Rocco's shoulders. Sal followed behind them. Sting then walked out with Eric Young for the main event. They cut to a shot of Mick Foley rubbing his head and preparing to walk to ringside for the match.

[Commercial Break]

5 -- ERIC YOUNG (w/TNA World champ Sting) vs. ROCCO (w/Kurt Angle and Sal)

Young threw some haymakers early on, then security came back with a big gut check to subdue Young and start working him over. Yes, this is your lead-in match for the PPV on Sunday. Rocco landed a big ol' splash in the corner to continue dominating, then landed the World's Biggest Slam in center ring. Angle gave the double thumbs down for Security to finish him off, but Young moved out of the way. Young suddenly wanted the Death Valley Driver and he kinda hit it for the win.

WINNER: Young in 3:00. Well, Rocco dominated and Young barely scored with his finisher for the win. Weak match layout.

Post-match: The real story of Angle vs. Sting blew up when Angle jumped Young from behind. Mafia beat down Sting until Foley wobbled out to ringside holding his head. Foley gingerly approached Angle and started landing wild right hands on everyone. Mafia suddenly stormed the ring, including Steiner and Nash to beat on Foley. Jeff Jarrett apparently got a phone call from the hotel and he emerged with a chair in hand. Rocco and Sal took shots to the head, then Sting protected Steiner and Nash from taking chair shots. He's got no beef with them.

Jarrett cooled off, then announced Sting vs. Angle and the only way he knows how to ensure it won't be a three-ring circus is with him as special ref (ref bump) and Mick Foley as special enforcer (heel turn). He told Angle to choke on those nuts. End show. Buy the PPV on Sunday. Please, save an X Division wrestler's career. We're begging ya. Sincerely, TNA management.

We welcome your 0-10 score and comments on this show for an "Impact Reax" feature in the Torch Feedback section of PWTorch.com. To contribute your thoughts on Impact, click here.

We suggest these recent related articles...

PARKS'S WWE SMACKDOWN REPORT 10/8: Ongoing "virtual time" coverage of Thursday show, including Roman Reigns & Randy Orton vs. Bray Wyatt & Braun Strowman

METZGER'S ROH TV REPORT 10/4 & 10/7: IWGP World champ Okada vs. Roderick Strong main event, plus Briscoes vs. Time Splitters, more from "Field of Honor," Overall Reax

MCMAHON'S TNA IMPACT REPORT 10/7: TNA Title Series kicks off, Bound for Glory fall-out, more; Overall Reax