By Wade Keller, PWTorch editor

KELLER'S ECW ON SCIFI REPORT
MARCH 24, 2009
KANSAS CITY, MO.

-The show opened with pyro blasting on the entrance set and the camera panning the crowd. Todd Grisham introduced the show, noting that it's just 12 days until WrestleMania 25. Matt Striker hyped the "VIP Lounge" with MVP interviewing all other competitors in the Money in the Bank ladder match.

1 -- JOHN MORRISON (w/The Miz, Nikki Bella) vs. CARLITO (w/Primo Colon, Bri Bella)

Striker did refer to WrestleMania 25 as the "25th anniversary of WrestleMania." Very disappointing. If I thought I could count on anyone to not give in to the false claim and understand it's the 24th anniversary, it'd have been Striker. (A "first anniversary" comes a year after something, so WrestleMania II was the first anniversary of WrestleMania 1, and so on...) They cut to a commercial a minute into the match.

[Commercial Break]

Back from the break, Morrison had Carlito in a cobra clutch. Carlito hip tossed out of it and hit a backdrop and a clothesline to take total control. He scored a two count after a springboard elbow off the second rope. Grisham asked out loud if Carlito is "a Caribbean" or just from the Caribbean and Striker told him to bring a shovel to work and just keeping digging his hole. At 5:00 they each countered each other's finisher. When Carlito hit a spinebuster, Miz argued with the ref. Carlito joined in. Morrison rolled to the floor. Miz, Morrison, and Nikki just walked out. G.M. Teddy Long then walked out onto the stage and said this match won't end this way. They weren't even counted out yet! Long works fast. Long said he got it approves that at WrestleMania, the Unified Tag Team Championship will be up for grabs in a Lumberjack Match. He introduced them to the lumberjacks. Out walked Great Khali, Goldust, R-Truth, Jamie Noble, Mike Knox, Goldust, Cryme Tyme, Hurricane Helms, Chavo Guerrero, Vladimir Kozlov, Paul Burchill, Zach Ryder, Curt Hawkins, and William Regal - the gang of wrestlers who apparently won't be added to the main line-up of in-ring matches. Striker then gave the actual history of why these matches are called "lumberjack matches." The match restarted officially. Carlito dropkicked Morrison to the floor. Kozlov threw him back into the ring. Carlito hit the Backstabber for the win.

WINNER: Carlito in 9:00.

STAR RATING: *

[Q2]

-Grisham and Striker threw to the announcement that Howard Finkle was being inducted into the Hall of Fame. It's about time! They showed some of his big ring announcements, and also his comic segments doing DX chops, being Chris Jericho's lackey, diving into slop, being an honorary Bushwacker, dancing with the Gobbledygooker, knocking over a Rumnble tumbler, getting jumped by Divas for being crude, and having the underwear match with Harvey Wippleman. It's still a crime he's not announcing one of WWE's TV shows today.

-Grisham and Striker plugged the MVP Lounge.

[Commercial Break]

-WWE Fact: Last Tuesday, ECW was SciFi Channel's most watched telecast for the 25th week in a row.

-They went back to Grisham and Striker at ringside. Lots of face time for them this week. Grisham complained about Striker's jacket. They threw to a highlight video on the Triple H-Randy Orton angle on Raw last night with Stephanie. Then they hyped the WrestleMania 25 line-up.

-A clip aired of John Cena on "The Tonight Show." Cena said he needed a fresh pair of pants every 15 minutes when he did the stunt where he rappelled off the 10 story building over the course of a two-day shoot. He said he is afraid of heights. They rolled from that into another video trailer for "12 Rounds."

[Q3]

[Commercial Break]

2 -- EVAN BOURNE & TOMMY DREAMER vs. TYSON KIDD (w/Natalya Neidhart) & JACK SWAGGER

Boy does Swagger look huge standing next to Kidd. They opened with Bourne vs. Kidd. Striker really put over Bourne's offense as including moves he's never seen before. Bourne went after Kidd at ringside, but Natalya got in his way. Kidd then took a cheap shot with a forearm. Back in the ring Dreamer hung Kidd upside down in the corner, then got on his knees and let Bourne launch off of them with a dropkick. Dreamer and Bourne posed in the ring at 3:00 and then they cut to a break.

[Commercial Break]

Swagger had control of Dreamer after the break. Kidd tagged in and locked on a headlock, really wrenching on it. Swagger tagged back in and side suplexed Dreamer to the mat for a two count. At 10:00 Dreamer fought back with a neckbreaker and then hot-tagged Bourne. Bourne hit his Shooting Star Press for the win. That was Kidd's first time getting pinned on ECW. Striker said the fans are riled up and sweating just watching him do his thing.

WINNERS: Bourne & Dreamer in 11:00.

STAR RATING: ** -- Good basic tag match with the hype for Bourne really making him seem like a rising superstar.

[Q4]

[Commercial Break]

-MVP stood mid-ring surrounded by the other wrestlers in the Money in the Bank match. He said, "Do not attempt to adjust your television set. You got it right. This is the VIP Lounge and I am your host and new United States Champion, MVP." They showed Shelton Benjamin sneering at him while leaning casually in the corner of the ring. He said everyone in the ring is "money." He took a little dig at Shelton, and then interviewed Christian. Christian said he's glad MVP is here in ECW and he's glad he has a forum to look him and all of the others in the face and tell all of his Peeps that he's going to climb the ladder at WrestleMania 25 and win the Money in the Bank. Shelton jumped in and said The Gold Standard is in the match and if anyone wins it, it's going to be him. He said if this is a Lounge, where's the cheese and crackers and wine glasses. MVP said he doesn't know about this, but the U.S. Title belt is right here (around his waist). Shelton said the furniture in the ring isn't even his because his furniture was probably sold off during his losing streak. As they continued to argue, C.M. Punk interrupted.

Punk said he wanted to break it to all of the guys that he has the experience to win the match. He said not only did he win it last year, he cashed it in and became World Heavyweight Champion. He said he was going to do it again this year. Kofi Kingston jumped in and told Punk that what happened last year has nothing to do with this year. He said he's only going to need to climb one or two rungs and then leap to the briefcase. Mark Henry interrupted and asked Kofi what he knows about WrestleMania. He said he'll make an example of Kofi at WrestleMania. He suggested he shut his mouth in the mean time. He said he's going to get his hands on his briefcase and nobody will be able to wrestle it out of his hands. Finlay said he can, especially after hitting him with his shillelagh. MVP tried to settled everyone down because there's plenty of time to fight at WrestleMania. He said one person hasn't spoken yet. He invited Kane to step up. Kane approached the mic, but instead of talking, his music played and everyone bailed out of the ring.

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