By Wade Keller, PWTorch editor

KELLER'S TNA IMPACT REPORT
SEPTEMBER 3, 2009
TAPED IN ORLANDO, FLA.
AIRED ON SPIKE TV

WHAT HAPPENED

[Q1]

-The show hyped the series of matches taking place to fill the final spot in the three-way TNA Title match. Then the TNA opening aired followed by Mike Tenay introducing the show and previewing key matches.

1 -- RHINO vs. STING

Sting applied an early Scorpion Deathlock less than a minute into the match. Tenay and Taz effectively sold it as if Sting had a chance to win given the center-ring positioning. Rhino did reach the ropes seconds later. Rhino took control and applied a body scissors. Taz said Rhino can do 700 pound squats, so that's powerful. Sting made a brief comeback, but when he went for the Stinger Slash, Rhino moved. Rhino then hit a belly-to-belly and then attempted a Gore. Sting side-stepped him and gave him the Scorpion Deathdrop for the win. Rhino beat up Sting afterward in frustration, further cementing his heel turn.

WINNER: Sting in 3:00 to advance to the finals in the no. 1 contender tournament.

STAR RATING: * -- Really too short to rate, but given it was a tournament match for the title, it merits it. It was actually good for such a short match and there's no big harm in Rhino losing to Sting in such a short time. [c]

-Booker T yelled at Kurt Angle backstage and said he wants to take Matt Morgan out. Angle insisted he's his project. Kip was stooping in the corner installing phone lines. Booker said he used to be somebody. When Kip stood up to him, Booker told him to get out. Scott Steiner walked in and asked if he could shack up in Booker's locker room because they're painting the MEM locker room. Booker said this is his castle. Steiner said they're tag partners, so he should welcome him. Booker mumbled something about Steiner's freaks and it made him happy. The camera shifted to Booker's putting green in the side of the room. Steiner swung too hard. Angle said this place is a zoo and he wanted out of there.

[Q2] [c]

2 -- CHRIS SABIN (w/Alex Shelley) vs. A.J. STYLES

Shelley joined Taz and Tenay at ringside. Tenay plugged that Styles would be on MTV's "Made." Five minutes into back-and-forth rapid-fire action, Styles hit a Pele kick and the Styles Clash for the win. Taz called it one of the best matches he's had a chance in call in a while.

WINNER: Styles in 5:00.

STAR RATING: **

-Lauren interviewed Hernandez, calling him one of the best tag team wrestlers of this era. She said his chance to get a title match will have to come at the expense of facing his partner, Homicide. Hernandez said outside the ring he's his brother, but inside the ring business is business. Eric Young walked up to him and said World Elite wants to recruit him. He said it doesn't seem like a coincidence that he's been matched against his partner. Young said when he came to the U.S., he had dreams, but they were crushed a little bit at a time. He said they are familia. [c]

[Q3]

-Christopher Daniels walked out. He talked about being an X Division Title contender. He called Samoa Joe to the ring so he could get something off his chest. Joe walked out. He said he didn't think if they ever fought for the X TItle again it'd be under these circumstances. He said he remembers a time when TNA revolved around the X Title. He said the key figures were himself, Joe, and Styles. He said they worked all over the world and travelled together and became closer than friends. He said all that work they put in paid off four years ago at Unbreakable 2005. Scattered fans applauded and Daniels said the fans remember. He said it was the first and only time that title was defended in a main event on a TNA PPV. He said fans learned that night the names Joe, Styles, and Daniels were synonymous with wrestling excellence.

Joe said he gave Daniels ample time to make a point he cares about, "so if you'll excuse me, I have things I need to do." As Joe turned to leave, Daniels asked him what he's got to do. He asked if he has to go hang out with the MEM. He said MEM is scared of Joe. He said he beat each of them before he joined then and they couldn't handle it, which is why they took Jenna's money and paid Taz off to convince him to join them. He said he doesn't even know who he is anymore. He said his friends in the back don't recognize him anymore. He said worse than all that, how can his wife and his son respect him knowing that he's a sellout. Joe fumed. As Daniels turned to address Taz, Joe gave Daniels a suplex from behind. Taz said Daniels crossed a line by bringing Joe's family into it. [c]

-Lauren interviewed Matt Morgan backstage. She asked if he's ready to match up against the head games of Angle. Morgan said he's ready and sarcastically talked about his rookie mistakes that have backfired against Angle so far. He said nothing can get between he and Angle. Morgan said he's got Angle's back and Angle's got his. He said he can't wait to step into the ring with Angle one more time at No Surrender.

3 -- SUICIDE vs. DOUG WILLIAMS

After a quick attack by Suicide, Williams controlled the first few minutes with various mat holds ad brief flurries between.

[Q4]

When Suicide made a full-fledged comeback and climbed to the top rope, DiAngelo Dinero walked to ringside. Suicide leaped off the top rope onto him. Suicide returned to the ring, but of course WIlliams was ready for him and gave him a rolling German suplex for the win. Dinero smiled at ringside.

WINNER: Williams in 6:00.

STAR RATING: *1/4

-Jeremy Borash interviewed Sting. He asked Sting if he planned to wrestle after dotors told him he might have two or three cracked ribs. Borash almost told Sting he's too old. Sting said he knows he's not in his prime and the end is near, but yet tonight the beginning is right in front of him. [c]

-A vignette aired pushing Bobby Lashley appearing at No Surrender.

-Lauren interviewed The Beautiful People backstage on the BP set, asking them about facing Madison Rayne and a mystery partner next week. Sky ranted about Rayne messing with them lately and then insulted Lauren.

4 -- SOJO BOLT & HAMADA vs. CHRISTY HEMME & TARA - Tag Team Title Tournament

At 4:00 they cut to a break, just in time to be in the middle of a commercial break at the start of the second hour. [c]

[Q6]

Back from the break all four women were in the ring. Tara gave Sojo her Widow's Peak for the pin. Afterward, Tara's tarantula walked out of it's box onto her hand. Hamada then went after Sojo and slammed her afterward for losing.

WINNERS: Tara & Hemme in 7:00.

STAR RATING: 3/4* -- They went to a commercial at the top of the hour so they could come back for 30 seconds? Talk about poor show formatting. Not only were they at a commercial at the start of the second hour when people are shopping for new shows to watch, but they frustrated viewers by going to a finish after the break when they could have delivered that finish before the break instead.

-Borash interviewed Angle backstage. Borash said he thinks Morgan is "working him." Angle said nobody works him because he's the master manipulator. He said Morgan needs him. He then bumped into Morgan in the hallway. Morgan said he wants to team with Angle and wouldn't have it any other way. Angle noticed he might have been patronizing him, so he asked if Morgan was screwing with him. Morgan laughed and said that's career suicide. Morgan said at No Surrender when it comes down to the two of them, it'll be "no questions asked." [c]

-A video package aired on the history between Homicide and Hernandez.

[Q6]

5 -- HOMICIDE vs. HERNANDEZ

Taz said Homicide's music reminds him of high school because of the gunshot noises. Tenay touted the three years that LAX teamed together, which he said is more than is typical in this day and age for tag teams. Homicide and Hernandez hugged before the match. Hernandez won a test of strength early. Homicide therw the first punch and then went for a sunset flip. Hernandez powered out of it and tossed Homicide over his head with a throat grip. Homicide escaped a Border Toss attempt and went on offense. Hernandez caught Homicide as he charged at him and slammed him hard into the mat for the clean decisive win.

WINNER: Hernandez in 4:00.

STAR RATING: * -- Disappointing match, to be sure. Nothing wrong with what Homicide and Hernandez did, but the first match between LAX members should have delivered something more epic and memorable with more time allotted. TNA is not going to get viewers excited enough about seeing matches to order PPVs if "big matches" like this one are blown off in less than five minutes. They're conditioning their fans not to care about matches while trying to sell them PPVs built around matches. It's insane, almost by definition. [c]

-Lauren interviewed the British Invasion backstage. Doug Williams talked about facing A.J. Styles. He said he rates him very highly, but he rates himself even higher. He said to be the best, he has to beat the best. He said he'd be keeping Brutus Magnus and Rob Terry from ringside. Terry looks like there's nothing going on in his head. He could have been a heavy in a "Dukes of Hazard" episode.

-Borash interviewed Styles, who talked about hitting rock bottom a few weeks ago, but that being necessary to move forward. He said he will beat Williams and will become TNA Champion. Straight forward basic interviews from both that did a nice job setting the stage of the match later.

-Kurt Angle walked to ringside as his music played to add commentary. Watching the Olympic gold medalist almost lose it trying to get his headsets on correctly (one of the ear cups was flipped) and needing Taz's help was pretty hilarious. Styles's ring entrance also took place before the break. [c]

[Q7]

6 -- DOUG WILLIAMS vs. A.J. STYLES

Good back-and-forth match with Williams focusing on a Euro-style mat-attack with some power moves such as pressing Styles into the air and then hitting an uppercut as Styles fell downward. Styles hit a dive over the ropes top ringside. After taking a springboard European uppercut at 5:00, Styles popped out of the corner and nailed a hard clothesline to the charging Williams. Angle called it a great match. Styles blocked a rolling German suplex, then hit Williams with an inverted DDT for the win.

WINNER: Styles in 6:00.

STAR RATING: **1/4 -- Very nice six minute match.

-Borash interviewed Styles at ringside after the match. He said this time no one is goign to stop him, not even himself. [c]

-Lauren interviewed Team 3D and Jesse Neal. She asked why Neal is with them. Brother Ray said she's pretty but asks silly questions. He then went on to talk at length in answer to her "silly question." Ray recapped Jesse's entire past with Rhino. Ray said he used to beat the crap out of Rhino 15 years ago in ECW. He said Jesse's done with Rhino, and instead he's going to be trained at the Team 3D Academy the right way. Devon then talked about the British Invasion.

[Q8]

7 -- HERNANDEZ vs. STING -- World Title Shot Tournament Final

Hernandez rammed his shoulders into Sting's ribs, and Sting pretty much collapsed in pain. He came back, though, and hit a high dropkick at 1:00. He sold intense ribcage pain when he landed after throwing the kick, though. Hernandez asked the ref to stop the match because he didn't want to do further damage. Homicide came to ringsidee and hit Sting with a stick a few times. The ref called for the bell. Security dragged Homicide to the back. Sting was declared the winner via DQ. Taz said, "That's not Homicide!" It was clearly Eric Young.

WINNER: Sting via DQ in 2:00. [c]

-Hernandez called Young to the ring so they can settle their issue once and for all. The rest of the World Elite attacked Hernandez. Styles made the save, and got in a few shots before he was overwhelmed. Beer Money Inc. ran out to make the save. World Elite bailed out of the ring. Team 3D came out and trapped them, so the babyfaces were able to take down the heel gang once the numbers were near even. "This is a street fight. It's awesome!" said Taz. Team 3D isolated Sheik Abdul Bashir in the ring. Brother Ray then made a cartoon face for the camera. The crowd called for the table and Devon slid it into the ring. Before the could put Bashir through the table, Booker T and Scott Steiner attacked them. That gave the heels the advantage in the final minute of the show. They slammed James Storm through the table and then posed together as the show ended.

OTHER THOUGHTS

Rhino should be cast as a heel, without question. Casting him as a babyface has always been a mistake given his grumpy, nasty disposition. Unfortunately his post-match attack on Sting seemed more done to set up 50 year old Sting with an injury going into his match later than it was meant to ignite anything regarding Rhino's future. But it could serve a dual purpose effectively, too. Follow-up is the key... Daniel's is at risk of having fans chant the Beer Money Inc. finisher name at him for years to come...

QUOTEBOOK

Taz cliche watch: "This isn't Sting's first rodeo. Know what I mean?" ... "You can't discount the athletic ability and the skills of A.J. Styles." ...

Alex Shelley: "Not only is he my tag team partner and my heterosexual life partner, but he's my favorite wrestler."

Eric Young: ""We're not playing on a level playing field. American dreams are reserved for Americans only."

Velvet Sky: "If you ever dis the Beautiful People again, I will not hesitate to rub a cheese grater up and down that disgusting thing you call a face."

Angelina Love: "You know what would really help us more than anything in the world? You shutting up. The Beautiful People don't understand you because we don't speak-ee-ug-lee."

Angelina Love: "We may be extremely beautiful, but we can get downright ugly in the ring."

Taz: "Women have groins, don't they? I don't like to say crotch on TV."

Kurt Angle: "When the pressure's on him, I don't know if he's that good."

Kurt Angle: "There's not a lot of brain in that head of A.J.'s."

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