By Wade Keller, PWTorch editor

KELLER'S WWE RAW REPORT
SEPTEMBER 7, 2009
CHICAGO, ILL.
AIRED LIVE ON USA NETWORK

-The show opened with the theme song for "The Price is Right" as Howard Finkle introduced the show as "the fabulous Price is Raw" and then introduced Bob Barker and plugged his book. Barker walked out onto the stage and bowed as the fans stood and applauded. A fan held up a sign that said, "Raw is Barker." He said the "splendid reception tells me we are really going to party tonight." He said the fans are his kind of people, "the folks who have kept me working in television for more than a half a century, and I love you for it." Jerry Lawler said, "Thank YOU, Bob." He said if it weren't for people like them, he'd have had to go out and get a job. He got some cheers, but also began to test the patience of some fans.

He said he had a pricing game ready to go. He said he'd need contestants. He called for Howard to get him four contestants. He announced, "Santino Marella, come on down!" Santino ran to the stage like an excited "Price is Right" contestant and tripped over the security wall. Jillian Hall, I.R.S., and Chris Jericho were announced next. Jericho, though, didn't show up. Barker asked, "Where's Chris?" Jericho finally walked out i his wrestling tights with a "Chris" name sticker stuck to his chest. He said like a lot of contestants, he's taking his time to get more camera time.

Howard said they'd be bidding on the "Best of Smackdown" DVD which drops Sept. 15. Barker told the crowd to help the contestants with their bids. Santino laughed and said he was so nervous. He asked to buy a vowel. The crowd laughed. "You've been bodyslammed too many times," said Barker. "That's the wrong show. There's no Vannah White here. There's no Pat Sajak here." He said he's not good with numbers, but bid $1,461. Jillian said she's a real fan and prepared a special song just for him. She sang and Barker looked like he was watching sausage being made. Jillian bid $75. I.R.S. asked if the bid includes taxes. Barker said, "Let's not even think about taxes." I.R.S. said everyone needs to think about that. Barker said, "This isn't a town hall meeting, this is 'Price is Right'." He bid $50 and said that includes taxes.

Barker then asked Jericho what he bid. Jericho seemed like a kid very unhappy to be called on in class. He approached Barker on the stage. Barker told Jericho his mother wouldn't be proud of the way he is behaving. Barker interrupted Jericho to tell the crowd to be quiet since he's finally speaking. "He's pouting," he said. "He's being naughty, don't you think." Jericho shot back: "Let me explain something to you, old man. Nobody calls me Chris. You have to show me respect." Barker said he's respectfully asking for his bid. "Don't boo, I think it encourages him," he said. Jericho said, "I am one-half." Barker said he heard "one" and assumes that's his bid. Jericho protested and ripped off his name tag. "I'm gonna have to take you over my knee," he said. (Barker is beginning to sound like Sen. Larry Craig.)

Barker announced that everyone overbid except Jericho, because the price is just $18. Jericho won a chance to win a trip to Hawaii if he won his match. Howard described the acommodations.

1 -- CHRIS JERICHO vs. MVP

After two minutes of back and forth action, they cut to a break after MVP avoided a Jericho dive at ringside. [c] Jericho had MVP in a side headlock in center-ring after the break. MVP escaped when the red light came back on. By 8:00 Jericho had MVP down and went for a Lionsault, but MVP moved and then jabbed Jericho in the throat followed by a jaw-buster. He then played to the crowd and went into his Ballin' routine. Jericho blocked it and went for the Walls of Jericho. MVP countered into a small package for a near fall. He followed with a boot to the face for a believable near fall. MVP went for a Playmaker. Jericho escaped and went for the Codebreaker. MVP grabbed the top rope to block and then flipped onto Jericho with a jackknife for the win.

WINNER: MVP in 10:00.

STAR RATING: **1/2 -- Really good ten minute match with some dramatic near falls leading up to the finish. A nice elevation for MVP, also.

-They showed Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler at ringside for the first time in the show. They threw to a video package on last week's happenings with Dusty Rhodes as the guest G.M. and the show-closing angle. Cole announced John Cena would face Cody Rhodes later. [c]

[Q3]

-Backstage Bob Barker told Kelly Kelly about the proceeds of his book going to charity. He talked about the D.J.&T. Foundation, named after his departed loved ones. He said the charity of choice is an organization that subsidizes spaying and neutering dogs. Triple H and Shawn Michaels walked in and reminisced with Barker. Barker said if they want to let off some steam, let's go spin a big wheel. They walked over to a small little wheel. Michaels said Raw is serious stuff, not a game. Kelly explained that Michaels and Triple H will each spin the wheel and it will reveal their opponents in a tag match later. Michaels rambled. Barker said, "I've got two words for you. Spin it." Michaels pushed a button and a wheel spun on the big screen and up popped Chris Masters. Triple H made a reference to Masters having "bag hair plugs." Triple H then spun and it came up Randy Orton. Michaels said they can make this work. [c]

-A clip aired of Hornswoggle vs. Chavo Guerrero in a cow mascot outfit, the same clip that made "The Soup" on E! this weekend.

2 -- CHAVO GUERRERO vs. EVAN BOURNE

Howard told Chavo that if he won his match, he'd win a Chevy Corvette. His opponent was then revealed to be Evan Bourne. Chavo opened with aggressive offense and settled into an abdominal stretch. Lawler told a story of owning a red Corvette once because he won it in a match. Chavo avoided a Bourne springboard flip. He sold a knee injury and went for a quick pin, but Bourne kicked out. Chavo limped over to Bourne and went into the triple vertical suplexes, bringing back memories of Eddie Guerrero. Hornswoggle climbed into the ring and sprayed Chavo with a squirt gun. Chavo limped toward Hornswoggle and shoved him down. Bourne then schoolboyed Chavo for the win.

WINNER: Bourne in 4:00.

STAR RATING: 1/2* -- Okay action. Chavo was slowed by a potential knee injury.

[Q4] [c]

-ECW Tuesday will feature Ezekiel Jackson & Vladimir Kozlov vs. Christian & Tommy Dreamer.

-Cody Rhodes walked to the ring. Cole and Lawler plugged a "first time ever submissions count anywhere match." Cody declared that he is still very much a member of Legacy. He said he doesn't agree with what Orton did to his dad last week. He said what is clear to him is that Dusty Rhodes didn't make him a main eventer, but Orton did. He said he had to choose between career and family, and when Michaels or Hunter submits on Sunday, it will show he made the right choice. He said he plans to make Cena tap out tonight to show what he is capable of. He said Dusty might do anything for his son, but he would do anything to forward his career.

3 -- JOHN CENA vs. CODY RHODES

Cena went for an Attitude Adjustment very early. Cody escaped and tried to counter with a DDT. Cena blocked it. Cody bailed out. They cut to a break just seconds into the match. [c]

[Q5]

Lawler and Cole made a big deal out of any submission hold Cody applied, wondering whether it would work against DX on Sunday. Cody applied a hammerlock on the mat. Cena powered out and to his feet. Rhodes went for a dropkick, but Cena held onto the ropes so Cody crashed to the mat. Cena then came back with two flying shoulder tackles and hit flip bulldog. Cena climbed to the top rope at 9:00 and went for a top rope legdrop. Cody moved and set up a figure-four leglock. The crowd "woo'd." Cole said he's never seen Cody apply that hold before. Cena powered out of the hold and then turned it into an STF. Orton ran to the ring for the DQ. Cena took Orton down with a drop toe hold. Orton slid out of the ring. Cena gave Cody an Attitude Adjustment and then played to the crowd.

WINNER: Cena in 10:00 via DQ.

STAR RATING: ** -- Okay match. Served its purpose well enough. [c]

-A commercial aired for Raw next week saying Batista will appear with what could be a "career-altering announcement." They're teasing he's retiring due to the severity of his injury "at the hands of Orton."

-Howard re-introduced Bob Barker, who stepped onto the stage again. He said they've had an exciting night so far, but there's more to come. They showed Hard off to the side announcing a new contestant A.J. Pierzsynski from the Chicago White Sox. The Chicago (Cubs) fans booed the rival team's star catcher. He showed off his World Championship ring. A.J. said he's a big WWE fan, but a bigger Bob Barker fan. "Price is Right forever," he said. A.J. said he's going to make the other contestants look bad. Howard said they're bidding on a WrestleMania 26 travel package. A.J. bid $1,000. I.R.S. bid $2,000. Jillian sang her bid of $5,000. Santino bid $1,200. Barker had trouble understanding his bid. Santino won because the actual price was just over $1,200 so Santino, or "Santinio," as Barker called him repeatedly, jumped onto the stage. Barker asked him not to hurt him.

[Q6]

Howard announced that a hot tub was the prize. Santino asked if the Bella Twins came with it. Barker said Santino can win that prize is a special body slam contest. If he slams his opponent first, he wins. He was happy until he found out his opponent was The Big Show.

4a -- SANTINO vs. BIG SHOW -- Bodyslam Challenge

Show easily and quickly slammed Santino. A "Price is Right" losing sound effect sounded. Barker seemed confused about whether Show was the winner. The ref raised Show's arm finally. Barker was waiting for that and the ref took forever to do that. It was uncomfortable for a second there as Barker seemed to lose his footing a bit. Barker said he has another opponent for Show. Out came Mark Henry.

WINNER: Big Show. [c]

4b -- BIG SHOW vs. MARK HENRY

After the break, the two struggled to bodyslam each other for a few laborious minutes, and it amounted to Show and Henry taking turns rubbing their hands on the sweaty crotchal area of his opponent. Henry eventually did slam Show, which got Lawler almost as excited as a Divas lingerie match. MVP celebrated with Henry.

WINNER: Mark Henry in 3:00.

[Q7]

-Backstage, Josh Matthews interviewed Barker. He asked him what his funniest moment was in the history of the Price is Right. Barker said a contestant's tube top dropped down because a woman got to excited charging to the contestant podium. Barker said the crowd was going crazy and he thought it was for him. Matthews asked if he has ever been hurt on "Price is Right." He said contestants would "go off their gourds" when they'd win prizes. He said he had a broken toe once and a lady stepped on his toe. Pictures aired of contestants grabbing Bob in excitement. He said the most painful thing was a woman about 5-4 who got under his chin and jumped up and down. He said the dental bill was horrific. Matthews gave a final push to "Priceless Memories," Barker's new book. [c]

-An announcement aired that Trish Stratus will guest host Raw next week.

-Cole and Lawler stood in center-ring and plugged the line-up for Breaking Point.

-They cut backstage to Barker, shamelessly plugging his book again by reading it on camera. "I enjoy my book more every time I read it," he said, giving DX a run for their money for self-promotion, except profits from Barker's book go to charity, whereas DX profits go to WWE stockholders and a maid service and a pool boy for Hunter and Steph. Chavo complained that he was cheated out of his car. Barker said you win some and you lose some in life. Chavo said he's not leaving without his car. Chavo asked if Barker thinks he's tough. Barker punched him in the stomach and then chopped the back of his neck. Not since Jay Leno locked an armbar on Hulk Hogan has a celebrity dominated a wrestler like that.

-They showed Orton and Masters chatting backstage. Cole plugged the main event tag match up next. [c]

-Lawler thanked Barker for the wonderful job he's done as guest G.M. They showed a picture of his book again.

5 -- TRIPLE H & SHAWN MICHAELS vs. CHRIS MASTERS & RANDY ORTON

They didn't do much of anything to establish Masters for this match. He was last seen losing to Evan Bourne on WWE Superstars, and now he's main eventing Raw. No promo. No backstory. No conflict. Just Triple H taking one of his little digs at Masters for his hair plugs. Before the match, DX did some mic work. I hope he does gay jokes! Oh goodie! "For the thousands in attendance, for the millions watching around the world, and for Cody and Ted, because they are a great team; they are great partners. They're like the WWE version of Sigfried & Roy. And boys, this Sunday you're looking at the two white tigers that are going to be hanging off your juggulars." That sounded like some sort of innuendo if he means what I think he means by "hanging from their jugulars." And everybody knows white tigers are gay. Anyway, Chris Masters came out, so Lawler said once again that a sculptor couldn't carve out a better physique. Is that Lawler who thinks that, or does McMahon feed him that line every time Masters walks out?

Masters opened against Michaels, and he bailed out to ringside to avoid an early Sweet Chin Music tease. They cut to another very early break seconds into the match. [c] Michaels and Hunter took turns on Orton after the break. At 7:00 Masters tagged in and got the advantage on Michaels. Masters is channeling Tony Garea with his new hair. Masters threw Michaels to the floor at 9:00. It was the top of the hour so Cole reset the show briefly.

[Q5]

Orton interfered as Masters blocked the ref's view. Orton tagged in and hit a dropkick that Lawler raved about. Orton applied his obligatory chinlock. At 12:00 Michaels hot-tagged Hunter in and he went to work on Masters, making sure he grabbed his hair plugs and punched him within seconds. Orton teased entering the ring. Masters recovered and went after Hunter, but Hunter turned his approach into momentum for a spinebuster. Michaels tagged in and hit a top rope dropkick. Michaels played to the crowd. As Michaels stomped the mat, Hunter knocked Orton into the announce table. Masters then snuck on a Masterlock center-ring, a move WWE has done little to establish since Masters returned despite Masters being half of a main event on WWE's top show. Cole said if Masters finished Michaels, it'd be the win of his career. Triple H hit Michaels from behind to break up the pin; it's surprising to see them bother to protect Masters's finisher and not just have Michaels escape on his own. Michaels applied a figure-four leglock and Masters tapped out.

WINNERS: DX in 15:00.

STAR RATING: **1/4 -- Basic decent main event tag match.

-DX's music played briefly, but Ted DiBiase (making his only appearance of the show) and Cody ran to the ring. Michaels and Hunter brawled with Cody and Ted to the back. Orton was hiding in the back and seemed ready to strike. Cole said he outsmarted everyone by getting out of harm's way. Orton then made his way back onto the ramp. They cut backstage to the DX-Legacy brawl continuing. They failed to sell the fact that this brawl was an example of how the PPV match could go since the rules are "submissions count anywhere." Lawler just said these four wrestlers could end up in the streets in Montreal on Sunday, which wasn't exactly driving home the stip. They ended up brawling outside of the arena. DiBiase tossed aside a security guard. DiBiase ran to get a car as Cody tried to hold off DX with a chair. Legacy stole someone's car and sped away before DX could get to them. It was an older car, which kept the repair bill down for the chairs Triple H bashed into it and threw at it as it drove away.

Back in the arena, Orton stood in the ring. He asked the crowd if they saw the look of disappointment on the faces of DX. He told the fans to get used to it because on Sunday, Legacy would make DX submit. He said in the main event he is going to retain the WWE Championship because "it is what I live for." Orton's morphing into a vampire as the weeks go by. He's talking like one now. Cena's music played and charged to the ring and attacked Orton. Orton caught Cena with an impact DDT off the middle rope. Orton snorted in satisfaction and rose to his feet. He walked to ringside, grabbed a chair, and returned to the ring. He then gave Cena an RKO on the chair set up in the ring. The show ended with Orton standing over Cena's fallen body yelling, "This Sunday, John Cena, you will say I Quit!"

QUOTEBOOK

Bob Barker at the start of Raw: "I wish I had a refrigerator for every one of you!"

Bob Barker to Jillian Hall: "I loved your singing, but I'm tone deaf."

Cody Rhodes: "I could lie to you and tell you that Dusty Rhodes missed birthdays, missed graduations, was a neglectful, poor father, but the truth is, Dusty Rhodes was, is, a good father."

Cody Rhodes: "I think Dusty Rhodes said there's nothing a father wouldn't do for his son. Well, there's nothing this son wouldn't do for his career."

Santino: "I would like to bathe the Bella Twins in some Santino soup."

Bob Barker in response: "Absolutely not. This is a family show."

Randy Orton on the WWE Title: "It is the only thing I consider important in life."

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