By Wade Keller, PWTorch editor

KELLER'S WWE SMACKDOWN REPORT
SEPTEMBER 28, 2009
TULSA, OKLA. AT BOK CENTER
AIRED MY MY NETWORK TV

WHAT HAPPENED?

[Q1]

-Clips aired of Undertaker tormenting and kidnapping G.M. Teddy Long last week.

-Justin Roberts introduced C.M. Punk. As he walked out, Todd Grisham and Jim Ross introduced the show. Punk ripped on the fans for their excesses in drinking and drugs. He said he brings that up because they apparently have forgotten his long list of accomplishments. He said he is the only Straight Edge WWE Champion in history, he is the only WWE Superstar to win back-to-back Money in the Bank ladder matches at WrestleMania, and he did the fans the favor of getting rid of Jeff Hardy forever. He said his greatest accomplishment was making Undertaker tapout. "That was me. I did that," he bragged. "And I did it all without drugs. I did it all without alcohol. And above all else I did it without help from any of you." He demanded someone with power step out and treat him with the respect he has earned. He referred to himself as the poster child of the entire company. He wanted to know whom he would be facing next now that he had defeated Taker.

After a long pause he smiled and said, "That's right, there isn't anybody left." Undertaker's druid entrance music played and the lights turned blue. Druids walked a casket toward the ring up the ramp covered in fog. Punk got nervous as he watched. Punk walked to the ringside and began hitting the casket with a chair. The casket barely showed a scratch. Punk carefully opened the lid and inside was Long, bound and gagged. Punk breathed a sigh of relief. Punk entered the ring without helping Long and began talking to Long. He said he looked horrible. "You look like you've been on one of these all-night benders these people go on." He finally helped Long out of the casket. Long, gasping for air, said: "Effective immediately, there is no longer a ban on Undertaker's Hell's Gate submission hold. The maneuver is 100 percent legal." Punk protested. Long added that one week from Sunday he will defend the World Hvt. Title against Taker inside the Hell in a Cell. The crowd crowd cheered. Long then informed an exasperated Punk that he will also face Taker later on Smackdown. Long rolled out of the ring and fell to the mat and staggered his way to the back. Long's suite was all ripped up.

[Q2]

-Ross and Grisham hyped the main event: Batista vs. The Big Show. [c]

-WWE Fact: More males under 55 watched Smackdown last Friday than every show on ABC, Fox, NBA, and CBS.

-They showed Ross and Grisham at ringside, who talked about the news from the previous segment.

1 -- JOHN MORRISON & FINLAY vs. DOLPH ZIGGLER & MIKE KNOX

The heels duo took control a minute in and then they cut to an early break. [c] Ross said he might have "restless leg syndrome" during this match. At 7:00 Finlay hot-tagged in Morrison just as Ziggler tagged in Knox.

[Q3]

At 8:00 Ziggler broke up a pin attempt by Morrison on Knox. Knox then went for a crossbody block on Morrison, but Morrison moved and he hit Ziggler by mistake. Finlay hit Knox with his shillelagh as the ref tried to get Ziggler out of the ring. Morrison then hit Starship Pain for the win.

WINNERS: Morrison & Finlay in 10:00.

STAR RATING: *1/2 -- Basic tag match. Nothing special.

-Backstage Cryme Tyme and Eve asked Jesse if he was ready to prove himself to them. Jesse said he was. They handed him a spray can. He went into Long's office and came out with a Smackdown DVD. Long walked out and said, "Who in the hell did this?" CT and Eve fled. Long asked Jesse if he defaced his office. Jesse said enthusiastically that he, Slam Master J, did it. He asked if he was going to call the "Poh-Poh." Long said no, but he had a special opponent waiting for him. [c]

2 -- KANE vs. GRAND MASTER J (Jesse)

Jesse went after Kane with forearms and a dropkick early, but Kane no-sold it and finished him quickly with a side slam and chokeslam.

WINNER: Kane in 1:00.

-Backstage Punk approached Vince McMahon and asked if he was going to allow Long to do what he's doing. McMahon said he and Long should have thought about the ramifications of their conspiracy. He wished him luck. [c]

[Q4]

-Vince McMahon walked to the ring. Grisham said there's been a buzz backstage all day about a big announcement McMahon apparently has regarding Smackdown's future. He took a dig at Oklahoma and Jim Ross. He then talked about next week's Smackdown anniversary show, paying tribute to "Stone Cold" Steve Austin, The Rock, Undertaker, and Batista. He said next week will feature Degeneration X and John Cena. It seemed he was trying to make it seem like Austin and Rock might be on the show next week. He wasn't overtly deceptive, but he strung those names together in a way that someone might get that impression. McMahon then gave a big endorsement to Drew McIntyre, whom he personally signed to a Smackdown contract, calling him a future World Champion who also hates Oklahoma.

McIntyre said there is nobody on the Smackdown roster who can match is unlimited potential and aggression. He said since Long has been preoccupied recently, it took the Chairman himself to sign him. He said next week's show is a tribute to him. R-Truth then sang his way to the ring. Truth said he wanted to welcome Drew to Smackdown. He tackled him and punched him. Three referees pried him off of Drew. [c]

[Q5]

3 -- THE BIG SHOW (w/Chris Jericho) vs. BATISTA

Show won a collar-and-elbow hook-up. Ross noted Batista doesn't lose many of those. Show shoved him hard to the mat a second time. Jericho yelled at Ross, touting Show's power. Show methodically bashed Batista, fending off an attempted Batista comeback at 2:00. Show missed a big boot and Batista shoulder tackled him to the floor, at which point they cut to a break. [c] They showed that during the break Jericho distracted Batista, giving Show a chance to take over again and apply a mid-ring chinlock. Jericho again got in Ross's face and yelled, "Who is the animal now? Huh?!" At 9:00 Show went for a swinging corner elbowdrop, but Batista moved. Batista speared Show to the mat a minute later, then shook the top rope and signaled for the Batista Bomb. Show blocked it and went for a chokeslam. Batista blocked that and applied an anklelock. Ross said that's a first from Batista. Jericho charged into the ring to save Show. The ref called for the DQ. Batista put an anklelock on Jericho, who frantically tapped the mat.

WINNER: Batista via DQ in 11:00.

STAR RATING: * -- I mean, there's really only a certain (low) level this match can reach given who was in it, and this was about it. [c]

[Q6]

-A video package aired on the Undertaker-Long-Punk storyline. Ross plugged Taker-Punk coming up later.

-McMahon walked up to Long and pointed out how ripped up his jacket is. Long said he doesn't mean to look like that, "but I've been to hell and back." McMahon asked why he crossed and conspired Undertaker. Long stammered. McMahon then asked where his picture is. Long said it's there, but it's not finished yet. Long said it didn't have the right frame. McMahon didn't care and demanded to see it. Long revealed that it was sprayed painted red with the phrase "Vinnie to the Mac." Vince was upset and told Long he can make Hell look like Sunday school. [c]

-Clips aired of John Morrison and Miz on "Are You Smarter than a Fifth Grader?" Morrison said he was a smart kid and teacher's pet when he was young. The episode airs Tuesday, Sept. 29.

4 -- DAVID HART SMITH (w/Tyson Kidd, Natalya) vs. J.T.G. (w/Shad, Eve)

Smith dominated for two charisma-free minutes. J.T.G. made a comeback and a cover, but Natalya put Smith's foot over the bottom rope. The ref stopped the count. Eve went after Natalya. Shad pulled Eve away. As Natalya distracted the ref, Kidd kicked J.T.G. from ringside. Smith then gave J.T.G. a back suplex for the win.

WINNER: Smith in 4:00.

STAR RATING: 1/2* -- Smith remains supremely boring. He broke out of his expressionless existence with a little cocky celebration after his win. He just emotes nothing during his matches at this point and it's going to work against him getting over. I feel safe saying he wouldn't be on TV if not for his lineage, no matter how fundamentally sound he might be in other areas.

[Q7] [c]

-Ross and Grisham were shown on camera. They pushed the talent scheduled for Smackdown next week including Undertaker, C.M. Punk, Randy Orton, Ted DiBiase, Cody Rhodes, DX, and John Cena.

-Josh Matthews interviewed Batista backstage. He asked him about his plans to challenge Jericho & Big Show at Hell in a Cell. Batista said his partner is one of his closest friends in the world and one of the best entertainers to ever compete in WWE. He said his partner has their number, and it's 6-1-9.

-C.M. Punk's ring introduction took place. Highlights aired of the Punk-Taker saga. [c]

-Undertaker's full ring intro aired.

[Q8]

5 -- C.M. PUNK vs. UNDERTAKER

Taker tossed Punk over the top rope at 1:00 and they cut to a quick break. [c] Punk had Taker in a side headlock after the break. Taker broke free and shoulder-blocked Punk to the mat. Taker tossed Punk to the floor and pursued him. Punk ran and rolled into the ring. Taker dropped Punk throat-first over the top rope. Taker then gave Punk a letdrop on the ring apron. The ref began counting Punk out. Taker broke the count and went after him. A minute later Punk got in some offense, but Taker knocked him off the ropes. Punk popped up and hit a series of headbutts. Punk sold the impact, also. He then hit a superplex and applied a figure-four headlock. Taker broke it with a throat grip which led to a chokeslam attempt. Punk kicked out of it and then threw a series of kicks, dropping Taker to the mat. Taker fought back with punches and a charge into the corner, then a snake eyes and a legdrop for a two count. Taker set up a chokeslam, but Punk hit Taker with a crescent kick to the head. When Punk leaned over, Taker caught him in Hell's Gate. Punk pulled himself out of the ring by the ropes and grabbed his belt. Before he could retreat, Taker caught Punk, yanked the belt away, and threw the belt into the ring. He went for a Last Ride on the announce table, but it was clear Punk would escape since Taker hadn't removed the monitors. Punk rolled into the ring and beat the ref's count, but Taker didn't. Ross said Punk "dodged another Dead Man's bullet." He asked whether he could at Hell in a Cell in nine days.

WINNER: Punk via countout in 12:00.

STAR RATING: *** -- Good TV main event.

QUOTEBOOK

C.M. Punk: "Okay, I get it. You people destroy billions of brain cells on a daily basis with your excess consumption of alcoholic beverages, over-the-counter as well as prescription medication, the latter of which chances are probably aren't even yours, and a veritable laundry list of other substances that you shove into your soft little bodies day after day."

Vince McMahon: "Thank you for that big Oklahoma reception. It sort of reminds me of being home. Then of course you have to ask yourself why would Mr. McMahon have a home her in Oklahoma. Why would Mr. McMahon live in this god-forsaken hillbilly state. If I lived here, I'm sorry, I think I would drink to the sodification of Porky the Pig. Sorry there, J.R. Can anybody say barbeque sauce?"

Vince McMahon to Teddy Long: "I like looking at myself, so don't deny myself that privilege."

Vince McMahon to Teddy Long: "You mess with me and I'll make hell look like Sunday school."

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