By Wade Keller, PWTorch editor

KELLER'S WWE RAW REPORT
SEPTEMBER 28, 2009
ALBANY, N.Y.
AIRED LIVE ON USA NETWORK

-After the Raw opening, Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler introduced the show. They hyped the John Cena gauntlet against Randy Orton, Big Show, and Chris Jericho. Lawler said it doesn't look good for Cena tonight.

-MVP's Lounge was set up in the ring with Mark Henry nestled onto a black leather love seat. MVP introduced Henry. He said, "Sit back, relax, and make no fuss because the VIP Lounge is for people like us." The crowd applauded along with Henry. As MVP began to introduce the guest host, Jericho and Show interrupted. Jericho shamed MVP for introducing Rev. Sharpton as merely a "guest host." He said he's the most prominent civil rights leader of his time. MVP said he could have said he had the courage to run for President of the United States. Jericho added that he is talented enough to have his own radio show. MVP said he had his own TV show and his composure is unshakeable by giving a voice to those who have none. He said he's about to embark on an American Education Reform tour. Jericho jumped in and stepped on MVP, blurted out quickly, "Reverend Al Sharpton."

Sharpton walked out and said that was the most elaborate introduction he ever got in his life. The crowd booed. Sharpton said it's a tough crowd, and he'll face them all over the country. Sharpton said he, the Secretary of Education, and Newt Gingrich are going to spread the message about kids getting educations. Show applauded. Sharpton said they need to close the education gap. MVP said they need reform of the education system and right here on Raw. MVP said because Sharpton is the guest host, perhaps he could book he and Henry against "JeriShow." Jericho said they can't have another match because they're already competing against Cena later. He added that MVP and Henry already had an opportunity at the tag titles. He called the fans a bunch of adjectives including "tape worms." Jericho said the fans don't deserve an education or the right to vote or even to grace the presence of greatness like Jericho and Show. Sharpton said he would ask the people. He asked if they wanted a tag title match. The fans cheered. Sharpton said the people have spoken and there'd be a title match next. Jericho said, "This is discrimination of the highest degree." Cole said Sharpton just empowered the WWE Universe, which will get what it wants. Sharpton returned to the back and shook hands with fans. [c]

1 -- CHRIS JERICHO & THE BIG SHOW vs. MVP & MARK HENRY -- Unified Tag Team Title match

Jericho opened with a side headlock aaginst MVP. MVP escaped and scored a two count with a backslide. MVP tagged in and stood on Jericho's chest. He overpowered Jericho. Jericho ducked a clothesline and tagged in Show.

[Q2]

Show punched Henry in the stomach a few times and then charged him in the corner. Henry caught Show in the air and turned him into the corner. Then he took him down with a clothesline. MVP tagged in and continued an attack on Show. Show made a comeback against MVP with a clothesline as MVP charged him, then he tagged Jericho back in at 4:00. At 7:00 MVP hot-tagged Henry who pressed Jericho and threw him at Show on the floor. Show caught him and as they regrouped, they cut to a break. [c]

[Q3]

Lawler said before the break Henry squashed Jericho in the corner. That led to a near fall. Show entered with a spear on Henry. He followed with a string of offense leading to a splash and a near fall. Jericho interfered from the ring apron with a couple harmless looking forearms to Henry's back. Show worked over Henry's arm at 13:00 and then DDT'd him for a near fall. Show tagged in a smirking, cocky Jericho who applied a sleeper on Henry. Henry dropped to a knee. Lawler noticed Jericho's arms didn't even reach all the way around Henry, but he said it was having an effect anyway. Show tagged in against Henry. At 16:00 both Jericho and MVP hot-tagged in. MVP went on a flurry of offense and eventually set up his finishing sequence. After he dropped an elbow, he scored a near fall. He followed with The Playumaker attempt, but Show broke it up from behind. Henry then knocked Show out of the ring. Jericho dropkicked Henry from behind, knocking him to the floor. MVP schoolboyed Jericho for a believable near fall. He followed with a DDT for a two count. Show then punched MVP from ringside. Jericho followed up with his Code Breaker for the win.

WINNERS: Jericho & Show in 19:00 to retain the Unified Tag Titles.

STAR RATING: **1/2 -- Some of it was quite book, but the Henry and Show sequences weren't particularly exciting or athletic. The finishing sequence really hit the crescendo that wrestlers strive for, though. [c]

-WWE Fact: Visitors spend more time per visit on WWEUniverse.com than Facebook, MySpace, and Twitter.

-Primo Colon thanked Rev. Sharpton backstage for his work on civil rights. He said he's an inspiration to all minorities. Hornswoggle ran into the room making his weird noises. Sharpton told him to hold it. Chavo Guerrero entered the room and Hornswoggle began chasing him. Sharpton asked what was going on. Chavo apologized and introduced himself as the greatest Mexican-American Superstar of all-time. He introduced his partner, Chris Masters. Masters shook Sharpton's hand. Santino then walked into the picture. He looked at Chavo and Masters and said, "Oh, look, it's the two cave guys from the Geico commercial." Hornswoggle laughed. Santino introduced his partner, Hornswoggle. Santino confused Sharpton with Don King, then the star of Shaft (because, you know, black guys all look alike). Sharpton told Chavo he didn't realize what he got himself into. They went to Lawler and Cole who were laughing at what just went down. Then they threw to clips of the six-man tag main event on Raw last week.

-Josh Matthews interviewed Randy Orton backstage. He began to say Cena must compete in a gauntlet. Orton contested characterizing the gauntlet as "competing," but rather it's a "slaughter" that he won't survive. He said Cena's struggle to survive will last until Sunday, but come to a painful and abrupt end when he wins the championship.

-They showed Rosa Mendez and Alicia Fox walking toward the entrance tunnel together. [c]

[Q4]

2 -- MICKIE JAMES vs. ROSA MENDEZ (w/Alicia Fox)

Good pace from the start, back and forth. At 3:00 Alicia jumped onto the ring apron. Mickie turned to her. Mendez charged at Mickie, but Mickie moved and then Mickie kicked her and scored the pin.

WINNER: Mickie James in 3:00.

-They showed Ted DiBiase and Cody Rhodes backstage heading toward the entrance tunnel. [c]

-An ECW commercial hyped William Regal's goal to become ECW Champion without plugging an actual match.

-Lawler thanked Skillet for the official Hell in a Cell theme song, "Monster." Lawler and Cole talked about the actual giant cage that Hell in a Cell's take place in as an image aired of one hanging above the ring. Cole said it's a match that shortens careers.

-Rhodes and DiBiase walked to the ring to their music. DiBiase said he gets it, nobody expects them to beat DK on Sunday. "But you should," he said, pointing out all of the things they've done to DX recently. (Yeah, such as beating them in a submissions match.) He said they're primed for the single-biggest win of their careers. DiBiase said for those with a short memory or who have chosen to forget, he has a video for them. They aired DiBiase and Rhodes jumping DX and beating them up on Raw. Lots of chairshots, ringpost shots, double-teams, stomps, punches.

[Q5]

Back live, Rhodes began talking. He said what those moments have in common is nobody expected them to do any of those things. He said Shawn Michaels and Triple H are two of the greatest Superstars walking the face of the Earth and Raw has been their sandbox for many years. He touted the resume of Triple H, saying he's a "sure-fire first ballot Hall of Famer." But he said after Sunday, he should get his cozy corner office at Titan Towers ready for his post-wrestling corporate desk job. He said he's been in the ring with Michaels and he can confirm he is the "greatest ring performer to ever breath." He said he overcame a broken back and had some of the most storied matches in history. Some fans taunted Rhodes with "boring" chants. Rhodes said he and DiBiase plan to stand over "a broken heap that was Shawn Michaels." Then Michaels interrupted with a loud shout of "Boring!" Fans cheered. Michaels repeated himself. Lawler chuckled. DiBiase said time is running out for DX. Triple H said, "This isn't half bad." Michaels said, "You're right, this is all bad." They appeared under lights in a luxury suite. DiBiase said DX are trying to make jokes, but they're not stupid, they see right through them. He said they're trying to take the sting out of the beating they just gave them.

Triple H laughed and said they don't make fun of them because they're insecure. He began to say they fun of them because they're assholes, but Michaels cut him off and said it's a PG show that's "family-friendly," so watch how he phrases it. (I'm not sure they should draw attention to it being a PG show as a portion of their audience isn't going to identify enthusiastically with that. Hunter then described them as a part of a butt, but not the cheeks, but "the little center part." Lawler chuckled. Hunter then made fun of Cody for being a "comic book nerd." He mistook the Incredible Hulk's alter-ego as being Bob Barker. Michaels corrected him, saying it's Bruce Banner. Triple H when Banner is relaxed, the monster stays away, but he gets prodded, he snaps. He said they're just like that. Rhodes interrupted and said they can use whatever reasons they want, but he and DiBiase "can't wait..." Michaels interrupted and said Hunter wasn't finished. Hunter said unlike Banner, they like when the monster comes out. He said, "Why wait 'til Sunday?" DX's music played and they headed to the ring.

DiBiase and Rhodes stood their ground in the ring for a while, but as soon as Hunter and Michaels got near the ring, Rhodes and DiBiase fled into the crowd. Cole said they won't be able to hide on Sunday inside the Hell in a Cell. Michaels said, sarcastically, "What a shock. What a shock. After all the talk, here we stand, ready to go, yet there you go, running away." Hunter told them to enjoy the distance between them now because on Sunday there will be no running or hiding or joking. He said instead it will be pure hell (copyright Undertaker). Cole wondered (i.e. repeated what Vince McMahon told him to say in his headset) if it'll be the end of the DX Era or the premature destruction of a blooming Legacy. Good segment overall, minus a few HHHisms.

-Cole plugged the Cena main event and wondered, "How can he survive?" [c]

-WWE Fact: Last Monday, Raw was watched by more people 18-49 than The Jay Leno Show on NBC.

-They showed the exterior of the arena in Albany, N.Y. and the quant downtown street scene.

[Q6]

3 -- EVAN BOURNE vs. JACK SWAGGER

Swagger worked over Bourne's leg in the opening minute, then tossed him to the mat. Lawler thought Bourne's leg might have been broken because of a leglock Swagger applied. Bourne rebounded quickly with a roll-up for a two count. He continued on offense as Lawler talked about the size difference between them. Bourne dove off the top rope onto Swagger with a double knee driver for a near fall. He went back to the top rope, but Swagger moved. Swagger then gave Bourne his powerbomb finisher for the win. Cole said Swagger might be the front-runner to take the U.S. Title from Kofi Kingston on Sunday.

WINNER: Swagger in 3:00.

-Afterward, Swagger said he has the look, the talent, and the gold. He said on Sunday he will officially become the "All-American American United States Champion." The Miz walked out and asked, "Really? Really, Jack?" He went into the SNL "Really" bit regarding his claim that he'll become the U.S. Champion. He said he is the 2009 draft pick that has had the most impact on Raw. He said he's garnered more attention and everyone knows it. Swagger huffed and puffed and wouldn't look at Miz. Miz shoved him and told him to look at him. Swagger jumped him. They rolled around. Kingston ran to the ring and took his belt back and smiled. [c]

-Cole plugged WWE.com's website story on Teddy Long being abducted by Undertaker.

[Q7]

4 -- SANTINO & HORNSWOGGLE vs. CHAVO GUERRERO & CHRIS MASTERS

Cole restated Santino's joke that Chavo & Masters are the two cave guys win the Geiko commercial. It was no more funny the second time around. I think the writers were worried, when it didn't get a laugh the first time, that Santino's words weren't heard clearly, but it such as a good joke they couldn't afford it go to waste. Santino did some comedy style punches on Chavo. Masters tagged in, though, and put Santino away with a Masterlock. Santino, though, did put up a comedy style attempt to escape first.

WINNER: Masters & Chavo in 2:00.

-Afterward, Masters grabbed Hornswoggle and put him in the Masterlock. Chavo entered the ring and got near Hornswoggle's face, but then he hit Masters. Cole exclaimed, "What?" He said he was confused. Chavo even seemed dumbfounded by his actions.

-Backstage Orton, Jericho, and Show huddled and planned strategy. [c]

-Cole announced that next week's guest host will be Ben Roethlisberger, quarterback of the Pittsburgh Steelers. ESPN must love him going head-to-head with their fiercest competitor for young male viewers on Monday nights. Cole said he'd been plugging his foundation.

-Lawler and Cole, standing center ring, hyped the line-up for Hell in a Cell.

-Backstage, Jillian Hall walked up to Rev. Al Sharpton backstage as he began to thank everyone and say how much fun he'd had as guest host. Jillian said she knows he used to be tour manager for James Brown and she wanted to show she was just as good of a singer as him, if not better. She asked him to be her tour manager. She sang "Living in America." Sharpton tolerated it longer than anyone else could have. He nicely wished her luck, but passed. Then in walked the Bella Twins. They said as the godson of James Brown, surely he can dance. He said if they get the dropout rate down, he'll go back to Washington and sing and dance to "I Feel Good."

-They showed Cena backstage with his game face on. [c]

5a -- JOHN CENA vs. CHRIS JERICHO - Gauntlet Match, Round One

Lawler said there are a lot of nights you might want to be John Cena, but this isn't one of them. Cole pointed out that Jericho has never defeated Cena one-on-one. Jericho got in early offense, but Cena came back at 2:00 after avoiding a shoulder charge in the corner. He hit two shoulder blocks and a sideslam, and then went into the You Can't See Me routine. It looked ridiculous that this early in a match Jericho would be so worn out after just two offensive moves to lie there as Cena did his pre-fistdrop routine. When Cena went for an Attitude Adjustment, Jericho slipped out and rolled Cena into the Walls of Jericho. Cena reached the bottom rope. He refused to release it so after a five count, the referee DQ'd Jericho. He kept the hold on for another minute or two as Big Show strolled to the ring.

WINNER: Cena via DQ in 3:00.

5b -- JOHN CENA vs. THE BIG SHOW (w/Chris Jericho)

Jericho released the hold as Show entered the ring and called for the bell. He battered Cena for a minute, then they cut to a break. [c] Back from the break, Show was pummeling Cena with kidney punches. When Show set up a chokeslam at 5:00, Cena escaped and turned it into a DDT. Cena then lifted Show for an FU. Jericho charged into the ring and tripped Cena, who fell forward with Show landing over him. The duo double-teamed Cena, with Show putting a Colossal Clutch on Cena.

WINNER: Cena via DQ in 7:00.

[Q9]

5c -- JOHN CENA vs. RANDY ORTON

Orton took so long to walk to the ring that Cena had time to recover. Cena struggled to pull himself by the ropes to his feet. The cage above them began to lower. Cena pointed up. Orton looked up. Cena tackled Orton. Cole prematurely declared Orton "in trouble." Cena held onto Orton who tried to escape before the cage surrounded them. Orton kicked Cena away and leaped to the floor where he tried to get under the cage, but it lowered completely lacking the auto-raise feature of garage doors, apparently, when a hand gets underneath it as it drops. Orton tried to avoid Cena, but Cena caught up to him. Orton fought past Cena to escape out the unlocked door. Cena caught him and set up an Attitude Adjustment at ringside. Orton grabbed the cage and climbed to the top. Cena followed him. They fought on the roof. Cena set up an Attitude Adjustment and delivered it on the top of the cage. That's Orton trusting that roof a lot. Cena's music played and there was no decision announced for the actual final segment of the gauntlet match. Finishes don't really matter, though. Overall, good visuals to accentuate the enormity of the Hell in a Cell, although Cena's recovery from the beating he took for 15 minutes prior to Jericho and Show lacked credibility. Also, why was Orton so frightened of being trapped with Cena, who had just been through two other matches and was worn down and tired (or should have been)?

WINNER: No decision announced.

QUOTEBOOK

Chris Jericho: "They don't deserve to be educated. They're too far gone already. Imbeciles from birth until death. They don't deserve to have the right to vote. Their opinion doesn't matter. Only I know what is best for them."

Cody Rhodes: "After this Sunday, Triple H can go ahead and get his cozy corner office at Titan Towers in Stamford, Connecticut and sit behind a desk with his relatives for the rest of what his career would be."

Triple H on Ted DiBiase and Cody Rhodes: "How can I say this? You two are like, um, butts, but not so much the cheeks as the little center part."

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