By Marc R. Warzecha, PWTorch.com Contributor

One of the few remaining one-hour-long editions of Impact begins with a PPV recap. We get the results of the Angle-thon and now we're outside the arena with Borash and Christian's Group of People Who Hate Each Other.

Christian cuts a strong promo and AJ sings Don Ho.

The screaming announcers yell about six sides of steel tonight. It's Angle vs. Abyss – if Abyss taps he has to leave TNA.

Here comes hot ass, pain in the ass Karen Angle. She calls Angle her "Sugar Daddy."

Huh?

She intros Angle but instead Sting comes out. Karen whines and distracts Stinger until Kurt nails him with a chair from behind. Kurt handcuffs Sting to the ring ropes.

For no apparent reason, Kurt is wearing a shirt and tie for all of this.

Maybe he couldn’t shake the WWE dress code.

Karen slaps Sting a couple of times and then Kurt pounds him. Karen is fantastic in her role and this isn't a bad start to the Bound for Glory build up.

Don West is wearing his Easter Sunday best.

It's Black Reign vs. Shark Boy. You can't see any of their skin. Its like someone poured bad gimmick all over both of them.

Dustin wins quick He acts as crazy as he can afterward, but Daddy still loves Cody more.

That new blond interviews Team Pacman. Jones starts his promo by shouting out his Titan teammates and saying he's counting the days down until he can return to the NFL.

In other words, he can't wait to get the hell outta TNA.

Ironic.

Lethal and Daniels have a short, exciting match. Daniels goes over clean in a non-title, presumably to set up a Bound for Glory match. Here's hoping they let guys like this go 20 mins every now and then once they get the 2 hours.

Jim Cornette sends Matt Morgan out to deal with Christian, who is mid-ring with AJ and Tomko. Christian is great running his mouth on the mic until Samoa Joe jumps him from behind. Morgan and Joe end up clearing ring and standing tall. Morgan says he'll be the "special enforcer" for Joe/Christian at BFG. This was a good angle that effectively introduced Morgan to the storyline.

Cornette pops out and says that next week Christian has to take on "Junior Fatu." Calling a guy "junior" when a lot of his gimmick is his size seems backward.

"Please welcome World Heavyweight Champion Junior Khali!"

Main Event time.

The stips for the match are horrible for Abyss. Get this: its non-title, so if he wins he gets nothing. If he loses, he has to leave TNA. Who would agree to that? This is why wrestlers need agents.

Well, this and the low pay, no health insurance, no unions…

The match just ends when Judas Mesias (finally) busts through the middle of the ring and
attacks Abyss, and drinks his blood and stuff.

No decision is made, and Angle just leaves. So…Cages don't matter cause you can just open the door and take off, Stips don't matter cause there's no decision and no one cares, and we're supposed to believe that this guy hung out under the ring all night with a smoke machine.

The non-finish to the cage match was disappointing for several reasons, but this was a fairly effective edition of Impact with a nice focus on the upcoming PPV.

Email me at: TorchWarz@yahoo.com

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