THE SPECIALISTS WARZECHA'S WIRE SERVICE EXCLUSIVE: Vince's (real) letter to ex-WWE employees offering treatment
Sep 23, 2007 - 2:43:00 AM
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Marc R. Warzecha
Just days ago, WWE sent a letter to former WWE talent offering help with substance abuse problems. WWS has obtained an exclusive original version of the letter, written by Vincent K. McMahon, before a WWE publicist edited it.
Below is the entire letter in its original form. All sections of the letter that were released to the public remain. Parts that were edited out are added back in, and are in parenthesis:
Over the last ten years, (Nancy Grace claims that) an inordinate number of wrestlers have passed away. (Only five worked for WWE at the time of their deaths and two of the deaths were accidents.) Some of the (remaining) deaths (a mere three mind you,) may in part have been caused by drugs and alcohol. (Or maybe not. I'm not a Doctor.)
In an effort to prevent such tragedies (and congressional investigations) in the future, the WWE is willing to pay for drug and/or alcohol rehabilitation at a certified treatment chosen by WWE for any performer with a prior WWE booking contract who may need this service. (I can't believe I'm writing this, but it's true.) The WWE will pay for this service in full. (God, that's painful to type.)
There is no cost to you or your family. (Look, if anyone wants to chip in that's cool. You were an independent contractor, for God's sake.) Help will be provided regardless of the circumstances of your departure from the WWF (Jim Hellwig, Nailz, Sean Stasiak), or the amount of time you performed for the WWE. (Outback Jack, Big Bully Busick, Sean Stasiak.)
If you do not have a drug and/or alcohol problem (the business has changed a lot – its not like it used to be), but know you know a former WWE performer who does (ie: Hulk Hogan), we are asking you to try to help them by encouraging them to take advantage of (my current situation and) this opportunity.
Liz Difabio has been appointed as a representative in this matter. (She's that hot chic that works on the 4th floor. You know, the one who got F'd up on spiked egg nog at the Christmas Party and gave Balls Mahoney a lap dance under the mistletoe while he was dressed in his old Xanta Claus gimmick?). Liz has been with the company for over 24 years. (Wait – did I say she was hot? I was thinking about her back in the day. She did look good in 85/86. I nailed her. Her, Aretha Franklin, Carlito's sister, and all of your Moms. One of you is probably my illegitimate kid, you bastard. Anyway, 24 years blah blah blah) and has been directly involved with (my grapefruits and) the majority of WWE performers who have received treatment for substance abuse (blah blah blah). She understands emotions (blah blah weepy blah) that individuals and family members (blah blah blah) go through in this process. Any conversation you have with Liz will remain confidential and will not be released to the public (directly. It will however, be intentionally leaked to the Congressional Committee investigating us in a meager attempt to garner even an ounce of goodwill.)
In many instances, an individual in need of help is in denial and will not want rehabilitation (Or so they say. I wouldn't know because there's never been anything wrong with me). There are professional intervention companies that will help persuade that person that they need treatment (like that one show on A and E. Ever see that? They turn your intervention into an episode of a reality show. There's an idea, huh? If you want to do that call me directly. Maybe we can make a buck or two off your mess of a life). Liz will be able to facilitate such interventions should they be necessary. (She promises a happy ending. Wink, wink.) An intervention and treatment will be at the cost of WWE exclusively. (Dammit!)
This service is being provided for performers with a prior WWE booking contract only. (WCW guys, you're screwed.) No family or friends. (F*** them, too.) Please reach out to Liz if you think you might have a drug or alcohol problem or if you know someone who does (Unless they are a family member, friend, or somebody working for TNA). We all need to do anything we can to help prevent another tragedy (as it turns out to be really bad for PR).
Sincerely,
Vincent K. McMahon
Chairman, World Wrestling Entertainment
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